Dougly 85 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 My gf broke up with me 2 months ago, because the relationship I had with one of her kids had gone sour and couldn't be resolved. She broke up with me even though we still loved each other, but I totally understood. We said we'd stay friends and stayed in touch most days until about 2-3 weeks ago and we stopped contacting each other. After a staff party I went to a friends house, we kissed and shared a bed, nothing else. Today my ex (who also works at same compay) came into my office threw my passport at me ( I left it at hers) and said wanted to give this back, maybe I should have left it under XXXX's pillow and stormed off. I didn't say anything. I still deeply care about my ex but don't want to be with her, I do however want to be friends and I don't know how to handle the situation. I also don't know how she knows. Any advise on how to salvage a friendship? Or is it worth trying? ( she was my first love and love of my life, so I'd hate to not remain friends) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 You can’t remain just friends with someone you love that doesn’t work . It causes bad feelings ,resentment and hate on both sides it’s just something you’ll have to learn you wont remain friends with everybody . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougly 85 Posted December 19, 2017 Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 I can't accept that we can't be friends, it would taint all the wonderful memories I made with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lenovo Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I don't think you can be friends right away after a relationship...it's something i learned and I'm still learning to deal with at the moment. Maybe in the future when you meet someone else and your mind isn't in the love zone with that person then it's possible. It must be harder for you though if you see her everyday at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I can't accept that we can't be friends, it would taint all the wonderful memories I made with her. Well, this a fact of life. You don’t get to remain friends with everybody and it won’t taint your memories . However, remaining friends with her and trying to carry-on with your life will obviously just make her angry and bitter and that will taint memories. Just because we won’t accept something doesn’t mean it’s not true . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Don't play games especially being the office sleep-around under her nose to piss her off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 You cannot be friends if there are feelings. Period! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giblesp Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 She sounds horrible. You were single, she has no right to throw a childish tantrum. Tell her that you were single so its your business what you do, if she has feelings she should have worked on it and not dumped you. Add that you will not be accepting that level of communication in your life, if she wishes to talk she must do so in an adult like fashion. Crashing into your workplace like that is not acceptable behavior. I think you have to ask yourself why you want to stay in contact with someone who has abusive tendencies? Eventually her tantrums will block out the memories. Far better to walk off now with those good memories, then have them tainted by her temper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indea08 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I agree with Wiseman. If you wanted to be friends, you shouldn't have gone home with someone whom you both work with. Way to send your ex a big "F you." You really didn't see how that'd be a bad idea beforehand?? Come on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I mean yeah, kind of a dunce move, but man... whoever's bed you stayed in is 100% cold as ice if she knows you and your ex dated and is giving her affects to return to you, telling her you left it under the pillow. I shouldn't laugh while I'm typing that, but that is brutal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Don't be the office bicycle. If you want a new girlfriend, don't choose her cubicle mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 What your ex did has me laughing, :) In all seriousness, she has no right to be upset. She dumped you. As far as friendship, impossible right now because she's angry and probably still has feelings for you. Friends don't get upset at one another for making out with someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 What your ex did has me laughing, :) In all seriousness, she has no right to be upset. She dumped you. As far as friendship, impossible right now because she's angry and probably still has feelings for you. Friends don't get upset at one another for making out with someone else. It is extremely tacky to move on by snogging someone in the same office. Tacky tacky tacky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 It is extremely tacky to move on by snogging someone in the same office. Tacky tacky tacky. Tacky, but she still has no right to get upset. He didn't cheat, she dumped him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 She may have no right to be upset but he has no right to expect to be her friend . That ship has sailed . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 Just a side note. With all the stuff in the headlines, dating and sleeping with randoms at work could bite you back big time. Find better playgrounds and dating opportunities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I can't accept that we can't be friends, it would taint all the wonderful memories I made with her. Will you still want to be friends when she starts dating someone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougly 85 Posted December 19, 2017 Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 Will you still want to be friends when she starts dating someone else? YES, yes I would Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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