jennylove Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I'm always so dang polite and I need to stop in situations like this. An ex from a few years ago just contacted me via messenger with a "wave" - we are not FB friends and I'm sure his number is still blocked after all this time. I got over him a long time ago but his lies/deceit will never be forgotten even though I have forgiven him. So how did I respond to his "wave", you ask? I should've blocked him and said nothing. No. I nicely said "hello there, hope all is well". Doh!! I don't wish him harm or bad luck but I don't really care if his life is well or not. He did something horrible to me and I'm wishing him well. I do this all the time with ppl. Oh well. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Because subconsciously you want him back. If you were done you would not bother. Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I dont see anything wrong with how you reacted. I guess once you move on you start treating your ex as somebody who ieg went to elementary with you. I mean wishing well is nothing bad and I think you are overreacting. Do you feel anything for him still? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 You may never forget but it sounds like you really did forgive and forgiveness is for your own sake and peace of mind, not his. You were polite precisely because you were able to forgive and move on. I think that speaks a lot to your personal strength and emotional maturity. Link to comment
jennylove Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 I dont see anything wrong with how you reacted. I guess once you move on you start treating your ex as somebody who ieg went to elementary with you. I mean wishing well is nothing bad and I think you are overreacting. Do you feel anything for him still? I didn't think I felt anything because I haven't thought of him in years, but seeing his picture just now about melted My heart. Not sure what that means. Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I think you were acting authentic. You are authentically a nice person, so when a nice person gets a wave from a person from her past, she reacts as you did. I think that's all it was. I do not believe you were trying to get him back. I think you were simply being nice. Oh, and being nonchalant, as in, you really are over him and just don't care anymore. If you were still angry, you might have responded with an immediate block or harsh words. I think this shows that you are truly over him. I had an ex call me once to get a financial paper. This ex was horrible to me, cheated on me, etc. He was so afraid that I was going to blast him that he actually called my brother to see if my brother would get the financial papers to him. When he couldn't get ahold of my brother, he had to call me, as there was a time limit. I was very nice to him, and got something notarized and couriered over quickly, to help him close this deal. He couldn't believe I was so nice. I was just being my authentic, nice self. It also showed me, afterwards, how truly over him, and it, I was. I could not have cared less for him in a relationship sense anymore, but as one human being to another, he needed these papers, and I had them. Not a big deal. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Maybe you are a people pleaser? However he contacted you, maybe you should block him so he cant do it again. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 I didn't think I felt anything because I haven't thought of him in years, but seeing his picture just now about melted My heart. Not sure what that means. That's just nostalgia. It doesn't mean anything. Link to comment
mines Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Perhaps you're a genuinely kind person and a kind/friendly response comes most naturally to you. I do sense from your posts that you're a very kind and friendly person. It would take time/effort for you to construct a "mean" response. That is a compliment! Link to comment
DanZee Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 There's nothing wrong with being polite, but he either broke up with a girlfriend or he's looking for a booty call. Maybe even a short-term relationship. Be careful! Link to comment
jennylove Posted August 4, 2017 Author Share Posted August 4, 2017 Thanks ladies and Gents. I'm ok. I looked at his profile pic again and I saw empty eyes on him. It brought me back to when I learned about his lies and the look he gave me when I confronted him. I definitely can say that no feelings were rekindled. That ship done sailed! No worries anymore, I'm A-ok. I guess I'll always be a civil person to others. And I guess that's ok, too Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Are you co-dependent? Co-dependents put everyone else's happiness above their own. They will do things for others, sometimes to their own detriment, in order to NOT have anyone be "mad" at them. They have so much trouble saying any form of the word "no". Their greatest fear is someone getting "mad" at them, because that person might leave them or not like them anymore. I struggled with co-dependence for years. I still have co-dependent thoughts but I've gotten much better at not acting on them. Do you want to BE nice, or do you want everyone to like you? Do you fear consequences if you think you did something that might upset someone else? Link to comment
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