Steelnit4 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Well I will try to make this short as possible, we married very young and been Married over 20 yrs both still in good shape and attractive our kids are grown and on there own so we did something fun, we opened our relationship with rules however we broke the biggest and both kind of fell in love with others, we been doing this for a few yrs now but it's now to a point where we're at a crossroads and don't really want to give it up but it has affected our relationship pretty bad at this point. Not sure what to do we still our great friends and love living together and need to do so financially to keep our lifestyle the way we like it, but at the same time we can't see a future together any more Pretty lost Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Have you tried marriage counselling? Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 It seems like the relationship has run its course. Either you will value your lifestyle or your sanity. I would choose the latter. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Why did you think opening your marriage would be fun? Link to comment
rosephase Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I would recommend asking about this on a polyamory forum. Do you both want to stay together? Do you both want to remain open? What are the issues that are causing you to stop thinking long term with each other? Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Why did you think opening your marriage would be fun? Because it is fun. My ex and I had threesomes with other women on occasion. It caused no problems. Break up happened for unrelated reasons. Link to comment
Steelnit4 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 It has been really fun and has really made our life interesting for conversations again I don't regret it Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Because it is fun. My ex and I had threesomes with other women on occasion. It caused no problems. Break up happened for unrelated reasons. It isn't fun for everyone though and can cause issues like it has for this couple. They just think it is fun until the spanner hits the works. Link to comment
Steelnit4 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 I think we just have have realized we have different views on what we want now Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 It has been really fun and has really made our life interesting for conversations again I don't regret it Ok, but it has caused a breakdown as well, yes? Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 It isn't fun for everyone though and can cause issues like it has for this couple. They just think it is fun until the spanner hits the works. The issues were already there. Opening the relationship just exposed them. Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Ok, but it has caused a breakdown as well, yes? It didn't cause the breakdown. It would've happened eventually. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 It didn't cause the breakdown. It would've happened eventually. How do you know? Are you the other part of the ménage à trois ? Link to comment
Steelnit4 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 That's just a bunch of BS!!!! No way Link to comment
Steelnit4 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 U may be right I'm not sure we always had some hidden issues Link to comment
rosephase Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 What do you two disagree on? Do you both want to stay in the relationship? Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 How do you know? How could I prove it? Just my intuition. Are you the other part of the ménage à trois ? I don't understand this. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 The issues were already there. Opening the relationship just exposed them. You may well be correct, but it would be nice if you would allow the OP to actually speak for herself and respond to posters' questions with what her actual thoughts are. Link to comment
Careerchoice Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Wait is OP male or female? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I think we just have have realized we have different views on what we want now What is it each of you want? Link to comment
Jibralta Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Well I will try to make this short as possible, we married very young and been Married over 20 yrs both still in good shape and attractive our kids are grown and on there own so we did something fun, we opened our relationship with rules however we broke the biggest and both kind of fell in love with others, we been doing this for a few yrs now but it's now to a point where we're at a crossroads and don't really want to give it up but it has affected our relationship pretty bad at this point. Not sure what to do we still our great friends and love living together and need to do so financially to keep our lifestyle the way we like it, but at the same time we can't see a future together any more Pretty lost I'm not sure what the issue is. It sounds like you are both in agreement. You can either stay together in a roommate/friendship/semi-romantic-type situation, or have an amicable divorce. Seems like the world is your oyster, under the circumstances. Link to comment
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