TheKissOfLife Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hello, I am in the early stages of No Contact with my ex. I am hoping that he eventually wants to come back. He did say he needs a "break" (trust me im not dumb i know that just means he wants to end it in a nice way lol...i still have silly hopes tho) So in about a week I will be at a wedding and I will possibly be around an old friend that my Ex BF was jealous of. He is a very famous artist in our scene many celebs have purchased his work and posted it on their instagrams...anywho I was friends with this guy all the way back during Myspace days so its just platonic friendship that never went beyond us sending a nude to each other one time when we were teens and nothing beyond that. Ive read on certain blogs recently that posting a pic with a guy could bring my ex back quicker if they can see my social media(we are no longer friends but not blocked) I also read some that say it would push him further away.(it would look as if i moved on) What do you all think?? Im asking in advance because I just wanna try any method without actually contacting him. Should I take a pic with the guy..then post it during our No Contact? or should I just keep things as they are and hope he eventually just comes back around? Thanks for any help! Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 OP, this is a silly high school-level game. It won't look as though you have moved on; it will look exactly like what it is - a desperate attempt to get his attention and make him jealous. It's juvenile, and if anything, it would push him away exactly for that reason. Women our age (and I am guessing we are in a similar age group if you had a MySpace page) are far better off conducting themselves with grace and poise rather than behaving like a teenage girl. In short, if you are even thinking of resorting to a tactic like this, you have to ask yourself why you're willing to compromise your own dignity for a man. You should never try to compel someone to stay with you like this. Was he that amazing? Why did he break it off? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I wouldn't stoop to the level of using social media as a means of throwing out the bait, and/or sending hidden messages, as it tends to make you look immature, desperate, etc. You're better off being the bigger person, and opt to take the high road. There's no magic formula in getting an ex back, and making a fool of yourself will certainly not increase the chances. Link to comment
Snny Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 If you haven't already, remove your ex from your social media account and delete his number. Also, block his friends. You both are done. Second, move on with your life. Like you said, "breaks" are copouts from an actual breakup. Accept that he's not coming back and find a guy who deserves you more than him. If the relationship was meant to be, it will entirely workout, with or without any social media pictures. I broke up with boyfriend (who is now my husband) for one year so I could focus on the final year of college and meet/date new people without any issues. We did not speak to each other for a little more than a year. We got back together after seeing each other at a mutual friend's party and finding out that people we dated during my the breakup/separation just did not click. It happens sometimes, but you never know until you take the opportunity of meeting other people. Just know this: before (and year during our breakup) I was with my husband, I had dated a total of 8 people. Link to comment
jennylove Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 No. Treat ppl the way you'd like to be treated. How would you like it if he posted a pic of himself with a girl you e felt insecure about? Anyway, chances are, he'd look at the pic and think "he can have her." Link to comment
Doc Blaze Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 If you are doing it for reasons that arent for youself, then dont do it. Link to comment
Cope Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I agree that this is immature but let's argue on that level. You want to make sure that all of your ex's fears about this guy throughout your relationship were true? This is what you will probably achieve. If he's stupid enough to come back forget about your friend. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Yeah....the only thing that will achieve is that your ex will go "Aha! I KNEW there was something between those two. Glad I'm shot of her."....and then he'll move on with his happy life. I really can't think of anything that could backfire worse on you than posting a pic of yourself with a guy your ex felt threatened by. Above aside, don't play such childish games ever. Most people will simply see through that and will not react how you want. They'll actually think you are pretty pathetic. Link to comment
TheKissOfLife Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 Thank you all for your honest answers : ) This has helped very much. I listened to a few videos and read up on different websites regarding the No Contact period...and in a few they mentioned the low level behavior to get him "riled up" I do love him very much and maybe hes not perfect but until whenever ....I feel this way...Im not gonna lie about my feelings. No, its not the best way to be...and Ive left him alone....i just wanted to be transparent here. again thank you all! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 It sounds pretty manipulative to me. I think it would appear pretty transparent, as to your motives. Link to comment
Jeetsun Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 The sites and videos pertaining to how to get your ex back are bull****. They take in basic human psychology and try to manipulate your ex back into your life. It's all advertising bs banking on a concept that many people want to have happen. Ask yourself, why would anyone want to do that? If you're ex doesn't want to be with you, any sort of manipulation has a very nil chance in working and even if it does, what has that accomplished? The problems that caused the break haven't been rectified and will cause things to go back to square one all over again. Time to move on. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Gah, those stupid "Get your ex back, guaranteed!!!!" websites! I thought everyone knew those were scams. I sure hope you didn't give any of them money. If those tactics really worked no one would stay broken up. And seriously, you think getting your ex "riled up" will make him come running back to you? Think logically about it; it's ridiculous! If he came back only because he thought someone else was playing with his toy, I guarantee it would only last a few weeks. Because whatever it was that broke you two up will not have changed at all. Link to comment
TheKissOfLife Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Well good thing I came here instead of listening to outsider internet. Thank you guye for keeping it real! Im not gonna do it I will not do it Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Well good thing I came here instead of listening to outsider internet. Thank you guye for keeping it real! Im not gonna do it I will not do it Good. People who promote manipulation to get your ex back are predators who see a vulnerable market. They know that desperate people will pay any amount of money in an attempt to make their fantasies happen, so they capitalize on that. No 'news' is the best strategy for allowing an ex to think of you fondly someday and grow curious about what you've been up to. Manipulative stunts tend to have the opposite effect by confirming exactly WHY staying away is the best idea. I'd skip that, and dive off of ex's radar--and social media. Link to comment
TheKissOfLife Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 My fb...account is currently deactivated, I have intentionally been staying away from our usual hang outs, and I have had zero contact with him. i dont have an instagram or twitter so trust me....i havent done anything harmful...i was just asking you guys and you all have spoken loud and clear...im focusing on myself...since the break up ive literally only eaten veggies and been going out more with old friends...ive even already lost 10 lbs(which for me is a nice thing) I didnt spend any money...the internet is filled with free content.....yes I am feeling desperate but I really do miss him...each day of no contact is making me stronger but i have those gut wrenching moments where i just miss touching his skin and hugging him...im trying to let it go though....im not gonna use any tactics...im just gonna leave it all alone. I get it : ) Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I didnt spend any money...the internet is filled with free content..... Good, but don't be fooled by the 'free' content...it's grooming material designed to gain eyeballs and trust. There's always an 'offer' down the line--a book, subscription, video or something else that's being promoted by the 'free' stuff. Anything designed to coach manipulation is written by manipulators. Know hooks when you see them, and you'll be fine. CongrAts on a wise decision. Link to comment
TheKissOfLife Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Thank you for your insight....ive got a nice long manipulation free road ahead lol I really do appreciate all of you for taking the time to respond to my silly post. Link to comment
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