He Left My Clothes in His Yard to Pick Up

[abitbroken]

There's no bus? Cant take a taxi? Not one friend with a car?[/quote

No buses or taxi's like where I live in New York City and no, no one would drive me there to pick up.

 

Then you rent a car.

[ViolaG]

 

Then you rent a car.

LO!!!!!! - if no one would drive me to his place to pick up my things what makes you think they would drive me to a rental car place? This was a town in a rural area.

[abitbroken]

LO!!!!!! - if no one would drive me to his place to pick up my things what makes you think they would drive me to a rental car place? This was a town in a rural area.

 

Enterprise picks you up.

[ViolaG]

 

Enterprise picks you up.

 

Thank you for that information. I had no idea. I don't rent cars often, just a few times in the past at the airport when I got off flight.

[j.man]

They even have taxis in remote Appalachia. If this is the town he's graduating in and one you coincidentally happen to be visiting for your own purposes, I would think it's significant enough to at least have a call-in taxi service, even if you'd have to wait an hour or so for them to swing by. Might not be able to catch one right off the corner like off Broadway here in NYC, but I've lived in some podunk towns of 1200 people that still had a taxi company.

 

In any case, I would fully understand if you don't value the stuff enough to spend the $20, $40, whatever amount on a taxi round trip and would rather just risk it crossing your fingers and sending him prepaid postage, but that kinda speaks to how little of a deal this all actually is.

[Jibralta]

Here is a follow to my situation: After I spent four days with this guy I met online, I inadvertently left a few clothes at his place. Almost two weeks after I met him in person, I had a gut feeling that it wasn’t going to work out and he was playing games. I trust my intuition. There were some hmmmms here and there for three months. I called it off and told him that I had concerns about being in a long distance relationship and I had my reasons for not trusting him with my heart. He simply said thank you and he’s always there for me should I need anything. I asked that he ship my things to me that I left behind and he agreed to do so. A month transpired and I hadn’t received my items. I was in the city for the weekend where he lives for a graduation so I texted him that I was in town and wanted to see him. He told me that he was working that weekend and he could leave my things for me to pick up at his place. He clarified that he would leave my things in his yard for me to pick up. I was really surprised that he would do something so cold as to leave my things in his yard for me to pick up. I was so convinced at this moment that my intuition was so on point that I called off having a romantic relationship with him. My family was livid!!! The men especially were not happy at all about that! I was going pick up my things but I was out-numbered and it was a consensus vote for me not to pick them up because they felt it was very disrespectful of him. All I wanted were my things I left at his house. They told me to cut my loses. I wanted to text him and ask him if he could mail my things or if he wanted me to send him a prepaid return package to ship to me. My family was adamant and said to leave it alone and he would mail my things so don’t reach out to him again about it. A lot of the advice I was getting seemed to be about game playing. I'm not into that. I just wanted my things back. What do you think about this situation?

 

Why were you so surprised? You ended the relationship because you had hmmmms here and there and thought he was playing games. Nothing to become livid over. If you or your male family members are concerned for your safety, ask one of them to accompany you on the pick up. I wouldn't expect him to pay to mail your things to you.

[LaHermes]

Just as an aside:

 

I want to know what "podunk" means?

[Jibralta]

Small town. Especially, an out-of-the-way small town.

 

Apparently, it's Algonquin in origin:

 

 

 

A similar term is Bumf*ck, Egypt.

[boltnrun]

Just as an aside:

 

I want to know what "podunk" means?

 

It means out in Booneyville. Like, a small town with maybe one main street, no stop lights, maybe not even paved roads. No malls, shopping centers, not even a chain supermarket. Very small population and everyone knows everyone else by name. Probably little to no public transportation.

[ViolaG]

Thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate it. I believe my heart was already made up since it has already been two weeks where I have left it alone. I will focus on being grateful for the four closets that I have packed to capacity with clothes and let that one favorite dress go. I will hold onto the three best lessons I learned from meeting someone online and my dealings on building new relationships in general. I'm a work in progress and obviously need to work on me more before jumping back into the dating game. I'm not going to bother him anymore and stir the pot over a dress. Goodbye dress!

[Jibralta]

Poor dress!

[ViolaG]

[QULOOTE=Jibralta;6824533]Poor dress!

[ViolaG]

[QULOOTE=Jibralta;6824533]Poor dress!

LOL it was so cute and fit perfectly.

[LaHermes]

Thanks Bolt and Jib.

 

We might say "at the back of beyond".

[ViolaG]

Why were you so surprised? You ended the relationship because you had hmmmms here and there and thought he was playing games. Nothing to become livid over. If you or your male family members are concerned for your safety, ask one of them to accompany you on the pick up. I wouldn't expect him to pay to mail your things to you.

 

I guess I was surprised because I thought he would mail it after he agreed to and we were both cool with not dating anymore. Maybe something triggered in him after he saw I reactivated my dating profile a few weeks ago. I noticed that he viewed my page and my new photos. Oh no, it never crossed my mind that I should be concerned for my safety.

[ViolaG]

It means out in Booneyville. Like, a small town with maybe one main street, no stop lights, maybe not even paved roads. No malls, shopping centers, not even a chain supermarket. Very small population and everyone knows everyone else by name. Probably little to no public transportation.

 

EXACTLY! It was approximately 30 miles from his house.

[ParisPaulette]

OP, you are going to be fine. I once lost a fine leather jacket to a brief dalliance - left it in his car, never saw him again. And now it wouldn't fit anyways, but at the time it was just a great jacket. One he probably kept for himself since it was a guy's jacket and he'd commented on needing one like it.

 

Swear I kept my leather jackets all but chained to me after that.

 

And yeah, he was upset you decided to get back on the market. It is what it is. Also for the record, I live in the capital of Podunk USA. We have a gas station/cafeteria/store combo as our claim to fame. Oh, and a Walmart down the road, we're getting ceevolized these days.

[ViolaG]

Also for the record, I live in the capital of Podunk USA. We have a gas station/cafeteria/store combo as our claim to fame. Oh, and a Walmart down the road, we're getting ceevolized these days.

 

LOL, WOW! A Walmart down the street! That must be nice. My mom has to drive 20 miles to a Walmart. The town I grew up in has one stop light and when you blink your eye, you will be in the next town! I think the Family Dollar maybe my hometown's claim to fame and really good boiled peanuts! I will continue to live in NYC

[Annia]

I read your other thread about this guy.

 

You met online, talked for 4 hours the first convo, skyped some and over 3 months got to know each other but didn't actually meet until 3 months after the initial contact. It is long distance and you went to see him, spent a few days with him but nothing physical happened. As far as I can tell there was no talk of being exclusive (which there shouldn't be so early on anyways) but you got mad because he was still on the dating site and broke it off with him. Is that an accurate recap?

 

You two barely know each other, spent a few days together with no intimacy and you decided you can't trust him and end things. Unfortunately you accidently left some items at his place but he is under no obligation to send them to you. Remember you told him you can't trust him right? So he probably feels slighted and not willing to go to all the trouble of shipping your stuff to you at his cost.

 

Send him a message to give your stuff to a charity and then leave it alone.

 

Lost

 

Agree.

 

And I don't understand why your family was involved in this and "livid" about this. It's not like you were a couple and it was all very recent. What were you all expecting? That he went out of his way to give you the things in person?

 

Now, I think he wasn't right in saying he would send the stuff and then not following it up or saying that he wouldn't do it or plan with you how you'd pay the mailing fees and all that, but you were expecting a special treatment from someone who you were dating casually and barely knew and I don't think his reaction to everything was all that bad to leave people "livid" and voting in consensus for you.

[Annia]

I hadn't seen your reply. It's great that you're moving on. Chalk it up to experience. It's all a lesson. Good luck.