Frustrated by the quality of matches online

[Ms Darcy]

Goodness. Stop the pity party.

 

I know women who like tattoos. Just because YOU don't find it attractive doesn't mean it is unattractive.

 

I am not particularly attracted to Indian men. Mostly it's a function of not having grown up around Indian men - and therefore not knowing many. That does NOT mean I am privileged. It means I have certain tastes.

 

Additionally, I am plus sized. Do I assume men are jerks for not being in to me? No. I know that's not considered commonly beautiful. I don't say that's "male privilege"... just preference.

 

Stop the pity party. You come off as condescending and self loathing, a terrible combination. Work on that, get away from Tinder, and you'll have better luck.

 

Just a couple of comments/thoughts.

 

One, it would be interesting to see if the women responding on this thread would date an Indian guy. It doesn't really matter but I do think it's an interesting thought because I would gather some women here would not.

 

Two, I noticed the OP also noted that he was getting matched with women who are fat or ugly. I can't help but feel like it's ironic that he's interested in a non-fat white woman but resents if she in turn is not interested in an Indian guy who happens to love Wow.

[Ms Darcy]

You are right about the last part yes, I am an extremely hard worker and I've dated white women but sometimes you just want life to be easier and get envious of bald, tattooed white guys getting the attention that you want with less effort.

 

One thing to consider is (with the exception of asian women and white men), like tends to prefer like in terms of race.

 

Obviously, it's not the rule. But some people will tend to view attraction within the lens of race. In other words, remember when you said some women would prefer to date an ugly white guy over a handsome Indian guy? In their opinion, the white guy might actually BE more attractive than the Indian guy.

 

Anyway, just trying to be honest with you - not hurt your feelings.

[Capricorn3]

i noticed the op also noted that he was getting matched with women who are fat or ugly. I can't help but feel like it's ironic that he's interested in a non-fat white woman but resents if she in turn is not interested in an indian guy who happens to love wow.

amen. ...........

[LaHermes]

Dating IRL is actually very different than online, in my opinion.

 

It is indeed, and IMO far more productive. But many will disagree.

 

That said, moving to what is deemed ugly and handsome. Yes, Ms.D. Perceived ugly persons can be most attractive, but that "pull" can only be felt if one is standing in their presence, not going by an OL photo!

And handsome is as handsome does. I know some perceivedly handsome persons who have the personality of a telegraph pole.

 

Now, dating and marrying outside one's "culture". Well, many countries present populations were built on inter-marrying among people from different parts of the globe.

All that said, and moving to nowadays, I feel that regarding these extreme views on dating in what is considered outside one's culture (and can I stress that one cannot judge a whole culture or race based on a bad experience with one of them), that much depends on the country in which the relationship-seeking person lives or is based.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Crazy - you have preferences too. Is this now Indian privilege?

 

ETA: let's do some math. What percentage of women do you swipe right on vs left? Are you picky or open? I personally swipe right on maybe 10%. Its low. I'm semi picky. So I expect to get maybe a 10% hit on that. Does that make sense

 

You may be too picky. Mathematically not everyone YOU like will like YOU. Expect a similar percentage that like you as the percentage you like.

 

I actually swipe right on every girl if I then get matches , which never happens I will shortlist the girls accordingly

 

I can't be picky if I am getting no matches right

[Fudgie]

Dating IRL is actually very different than online, in my opinion.

 

It is indeed, and IMO far more productive. But many will disagree.

 

That said, moving to what is deemed ugly and handsome. Yes, Ms.D. Perceived ugly persons can be most attractive, but that "pull" can only be felt if one is standing in their presence, not going by an OL photo!

 

I actually prefer OLD because I can get a very good sense of personality by how someone writes and expresses themselves. Of course, this is for sites like Match/POF/OKC where people actually write profiles. Sites like Tinder just have a photo and a sentence - that says NOTHING about a person.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Just a couple of comments/thoughts.

 

One, it would be interesting to see if the women responding on this thread would date an Indian guy. It doesn't really matter but I do think it's an interesting thought because I would gather some women here would not.

 

Two, I noticed the OP also noted that he was getting matched with women who are fat or ugly. I can't help but feel like it's ironic that he's interested in a non-fat white woman but resents if she in turn is not interested in an Indian guy who happens to love Wow.

 

I have standards too, why should I settle for someone I don't find attractive at all?

 

My ex for the record was a bit on the heavy side but I found her face very attractive.

 

The frustration is stemming from a lack of choice, it's fine if they don't find me attractive not every girl will but I feel as though I am fighting an uphill battle from not only looks but cultural prejudices. Some of the posts in this thread has confirmed that.

 

A white guy does not have to experience that, so generally go on more dates which is why it's frankly annoying. My dating net becomes smaller.

[LaHermes]

YYY.

 

I do have to agree with you that there are cultural prejudices, no way of denying that. Have you noticed at all that this has become more prevalent in recent years there in the U.K.?

 

As for the white guys, well maybe they also face frustrations too with OLD. Some would probably have the same complaints as you do.

 

And I agree fully that if you don't find someone attractive it makes no sense to enter a relationship with them. Or put, differently, if you are not attracted to them.....

[yeahyeahyeah]

How many have you ACTUALLY dated? Have you ever thought for a second that the ultra conservative Indians would not attempt to try and date you anyway, but the ones who contact you are more open minded.

 

See this is why it's annoying, how the f am I going to have a chance to show my personality if I am not given a chance, because pre conceived ideas like the above.

 

A white guy with all races will not experience that crap.

 

Actually, that is an incorrect assumption. The Indian guys I worked with were very open about dating white, asian, black, hispanic women "for fun", but they would settle down with an Indian woman when it was time to marry. And this is something they sometimes hide from their parents - ie, dating women near where they go to school out of state, or are very open about it particularly if they have a male dominated family (ie, they don't have sisters, etc, just brothers) but mostly its the former. Or if they are open about it, the family doesn't treat the girlfriends as "serious."

 

Well I'm not like that, as a matter of fact my ex ex GF dumped me having the mindset you described. Her words were 'I would date but never marry you'

 

Does that mean I should be like you now and think every white girl is like the Indian guys you described...no I just met someone who clearly did not share the same open minded values as me.

 

Honestly, its not about labeling white/black women racist or stereotyping (because the stereotype is actually somewhat true), its about meeting women in person to give them a chance to meet you. There are plenty of guys who were not my friends view of who they thought they would be attracted to but they became attracted due to their humor, conduct, kindness and other things that you can't really outright describe. In otherwords, get off of WOW and get out there. Be available. If all they know is that you are an Indian guy that likes WOW and works in IT - they are going to jump to conclusions about you. Just like you may jump to conclusions about women that dress a particular way or have a particular hairstyle from one photo.

 

See above, your whole perception is based on a few Indian guys, if you met Indian guys like me and they exist you will probably have a decent relationship. But that won't happen with your current mindset since you have put us all in the same box. its a shame really.

[yeahyeahyeah]

YYY.

 

I do have to agree with you that there are cultural prejudices, no way of denying that. Have you noticed at all that this has become more prevalent in recent years there in the U.K.?

 

As for the white guys, well maybe they also face frustrations too with OLD. Some would probably have the same complaints as you do.

 

And I agree fully that if you don't find someone attractive it makes no sense to enter a relationship with them. Or put, differently, if you are not attracted to them.....

 

Every guy gets rejected online it's part of the process. White guys too.

 

But there is a difference between getting 3-4 matches a week on tinder and using it for 1 month and getting none. That is total bull

[yeahyeahyeah]

Update: deleted tinder, was taking memory , replaced it with a much more enjoyable app.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Every guy gets rejected online it's part of the process. White guys too.

 

But there is a difference between getting 3-4 matches a week on tinder and using it for 1 month and getting none. That is total bull

 

Got talking to a girl who is white on an app that is not tinder. She sent me a text today asking me out for a cup of coffee once I am back from vacation.

 

Sigh, always the same, once the girl responds and we get chatting I generally have a really good success rate for going on dates.

 

Screw the narrow minded views on here and tinder.

[Fudgie]

Yes, so narrow minded of someone to think differently of multicultural dating than you.

[mustlovedogs]

Dude. It's no more narrow minded than you. You have self admitted preferences - SO DO WOMEN.

 

I don't care if you're the most attractive guy in the universe. You're judgmental and entitled. Women do not owe you their affection and admiration. I'm glad you found an app that works, but cut the attitude. Your relationships won't survive otherwise.

[Fudgie]

Yeah sorry but it's utter crap for you to proclaim that you have a preference for white women and then degrade others for having similar preferences.

[Krankor]

Good luck on the new app. I've found that some just seem to work way better than others.

 

I've heard more than one Asian and Indian man complain that white women tend not to be interested in them. Since that is their experience I have to assume there's some truth to it.

 

I'm 5'10. Some women absolutely won't give you the time of day if you're under 6ft.

 

I'm 40. Although I'm open to both younger and older part of me wants a family and so I'm tending to look for early to mid-thirties. The last time I did OLD I was 39. I couldn't understand at first why I was getting fewer matches this time around until I realized that a lot of women probably have 40 as their cut-off. It's a little frustrating--what's one more year, right? But there isn't anything I can do about that.

 

Woman are allowed to be close-minded about who they'll date. It is a complete and utter waste of time to worry about the women who aren't interested in you. If what you're looking for is a relationship, it's about finding that one who is, which can be a long, frustrating process.

[Ms Darcy]

I have standards too, why should I settle for someone I don't find attractive at all?

 

My ex for the record was a bit on the heavy side but I found her face very attractive.

 

The frustration is stemming from a lack of choice, it's fine if they don't find me attractive not every girl will but I feel as though I am fighting an uphill battle from not only looks but cultural prejudices. Some of the posts in this thread has confirmed that.

 

A white guy does not have to experience that, so generally go on more dates which is why it's frankly annoying. My dating net becomes smaller.

 

I understand what you are saying. I am just saying that by your own standards, you are prejudiced against non white girls.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Every guy gets rejected online it's part of the process. White guys too.

 

But there is a difference between getting 3-4 matches a week on tinder and using it for 1 month and getting none. That is total bull

 

Yeah sorry but it's utter crap for you to proclaim that you have a preference for white women and then degrade others for having similar preferences.

 

I like women of all races to be honest, already wrote earlier that I like Arabic women which was overlooked. I am also very unassuming and treat everyone as an individual. It annoys me when I read and meet people that don't, making it an uneven playing field. If I get rejected because the girl isn't attracted to me, fair enough, but if the girl rejected me on the bases of pre conceived ideas , I have a problem with it.

 

I just got asked out on a date, but do you know how many girls I had to go through. TONNES. Girls liking you but not responding to your message , swiping right, then unmatching you as soon as you send a message or simply getting no matches

 

If I was a white guy it would be a date every week. Screw tinder.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Every guy gets rejected online it's part of the process. White guys too.

 

But there is a difference between getting 3-4 matches a week on tinder and using it for 1 month and getting none. That is total bull

 

Yeah sorry but it's utter crap for you to proclaim that you have a preference for white women and then degrade others for having similar preferences.

 

Good luck on the new app. I've found that some just seem to work way better than others.

 

I've heard more than one Asian and Indian man complain that white women tend not to be interested in them. Since that is their experience I have to assume there's some truth to it.

 

I'm 5'10. Some women absolutely won't give you the time of day if you're under 6ft.

 

I'm 40. Although I'm open to both younger and older part of me wants a family and so I'm tending to look for early to mid-thirties. The last time I did OLD I was 39. I couldn't understand at first why I was getting fewer matches this time around until I realized that a lot of women probably have 40 as their cut-off. It's a little frustrating--what's one more year, right? But there isn't anything I can do about that.

 

Woman are allowed to be close-minded about who they'll date. It is a complete and utter waste of time to worry about the women who aren't interested in you. If what you're looking for is a relationship, it's about finding that one who is, which can be a long, frustrating process.

 

Dating in general is hard for minorities. That's what a lot of posters don't realise on here.

 

Even Indian girls are after white men now, because they think they have money. White guys are lucky in the sense that they just have so much choice, and never have to worry about having sex or getting into a relationship. In contrast, I am forced into going through long droughts, becoming sexually frustrated in the process. To set up dates I also need to be tough mentally given that I experience twice as many rejections, before finding someone.

 

I also need to be on the top of my game when a girl gives me half a chance, hence my conversation to dating ratio being high. Being funny, asking appropriate questions, building a connection , making her feel comfortable etc

 

Frustrating.

[Ms Darcy]

Well money is a great equalizer.

 

If you have money, have your own place, and (to a lesser extent) don't play a bunch of video games, then your prospects would improve.

 

BTW, sorry for misunderstanding your interest in women. I thought you were only interested in ww.

 

Oh, and plenty of white guys complain about being single. Trust me, no one thinks they have it easy.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Every guy gets rejected online it's part of the process. White guys too.

 

But there is a difference between getting 3-4 matches a week on tinder and using it for 1 month and getting none. That is total bull

 

Yeah sorry but it's utter crap for you to proclaim that you have a preference for white women and then degrade others for having similar preferences.

 

Good luck on the new app. I've found that some just seem to work way better than others.

 

I've heard more than one Asian and Indian man complain that white women tend not to be interested in them. Since that is their experience I have to assume there's some truth to it.

 

I'm 5'10. Some women absolutely won't give you the time of day if you're under 6ft.

 

I'm 40. Although I'm open to both younger and older part of me wants a family and so I'm tending to look for early to mid-thirties. The last time I did OLD I was 39. I couldn't understand at first why I was getting fewer matches this time around until I realized that a lot of women probably have 40 as their cut-off. It's a little frustrating--what's one more year, right? But there isn't anything I can do about that.

 

Woman are allowed to be close-minded about who they'll date. It is a complete and utter waste of time to worry about the women who aren't interested in you. If what you're looking for is a relationship, it's about finding that one who is, which can be a long, frustrating process.

 

Well money is a great equalizer.

 

If you have money, have your own place, and (to a lesser extent) don't play a bunch of video games, then your prospects would improve.

 

BTW, sorry for misunderstanding your interest in women. I thought you were only interested in ww.

 

Oh, and plenty of white guys complain about being single. Trust me, no one thinks they have it easy.

 

To make a lot of money is hard, average yearly salary in the UK is 30k, I can earn much more. (50 onwards) but I am a few years off. I think women have unrealistic expectations. Average guy is not going to look like Brad Pitt, and own a 500+k pound pad which is basically the cost of the average home in London. What they will be doing is saving every penny in order to put a deposit down or like some of my friends combining their income and buying a property with their partners, but you need a partner first to do that. if a girl is going to look for a meal ticket she is no different to a prostitute to be honest. I'm not interested.

 

I also bet if I was stinking rich nothing will change, you can't tell if a guy is rich on tinder by looking at their photos.

 

Dating game is a joke tbh

[Ms Darcy]

To state the obvious, super rich dudes don't need tinder.

 

I'm just joking saying that you should get rich. I mean, yes you would get women but I don't honestly think you should hope for that.

[LaHermes]

Very true, Ms. D.

 

"To state the obvious, super rich dudes don't need tinder. "

 

Or any kind of OLD app either.

 

YYY. From what I read on here (not just on your thread) this OL dating game is indeed a joke, or worse.

 

And I have to agree YYY that if a woman is only interested in what money you have then she is to be avoided.

[Ms Darcy]

To make a lot of money is hard, average yearly salary in the UK is 30k, I can earn much more. (50 onwards) but I am a few years off. I think women have unrealistic expectations.

 

Most women I know want a guy they find attractive who is interesting, responsible, romantic, has a good job, and has some ambitions about the future (whether that's a family or marriage or career related). When I hear women complaining, it's about a guy not really putting any effort in pursuing her, a guy messing around with multiple women, a bf not being romantic, or a long-term bf not being willing to commit. (Or a live-in boyfriend who is messy.)

 

None of that stuff seems like too much to me.

[LaHermes]

Just thinking here Ms.D.

 

Ole Freud had a point when he asked in some exasperation": "what DO women want". LOL

 

What's the point in a six-footer if he's a lazy and/or abusive layabout? I ask. This "heightism" perplexes me.

 

Aaahh, that weasel word "romantic". I live in hope that some day some enlightened person will pass a law removing that word from all languages and vocabularies.

Yes, to attentive, kind, responsible, honest and upfront.