Frustrated by the quality of matches online

[annie24]

It is not sexist, it is just the way it is.

 

I read a study once where 2/3rds of men swipe right to women on Tinder, where 1/3rd of women swipe right to men, meaning that it takes longer for men to meet a girl.

 

It is generally easier for women to not be single in some shape or form.

 

i come across a lot of guys on tinder who are:

 

1) just looking for a FWB

2) in an open relationship and looking for another partner

3) unhappily married and want a discreet FWB or girlfriend

4) guys that swipe right but never message me (or ignore me if I message them)

 

im sure there are men on there who are genuinely looking for a relationship and have bad luck, but a lot of them aren't looking for a steady girlfriend.

[SooSad33]

Are u sure you're over the Ex... as you started dating when you broke up? 7 mos ago..

 

I've been on dating sites for at least 5 yrs... Most are not compatible or serious.. or...

 

You get all kinds on these things...

 

Longest relationship I had with someone half real was 5 mos.. then they wandered. Since then just users.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Are u sure you're over the Ex... as you started dating when you broke up? 7 mos ago..

 

I've been on dating sites for at least 5 yrs... Most are not compatible or serious.. or...

 

You get all kinds on these things...

 

Longest relationship I had with someone half real was 5 mos.. then they wandered. Since then just users.

 

No not 100% over her, after my second stint dating started to realize that the green is not greener on the other side and that I should have tried harder to keep her happy. We were together was a year and a half.

 

Strange that you are not having much luck, I know a few people who are now getting married and having kids thanks to online dating. Are you being too picky? A friend of mine, girl, is doing online dating and she is posting status updates along the lines of being fed up because the guys are geeky

[yeahyeahyeah]

i come across a lot of guys on tinder who are:

 

1) just looking for a FWB

2) in an open relationship and looking for another partner

3) unhappily married and want a discreet FWB or girlfriend

4) guys that swipe right but never message me (or ignore me if I message them)

im sure there are men on there who are genuinely looking for a relationship and have bad luck, but a lot of them aren't looking for a steady girlfriend.

 

Out of all of the apps, this has to be the worst.

 

Signed up a month ago, and point 4 keeps happening to me. Girls - especially if they are hot - swiping right, then when I message them unmatch me.

 

The people who use Tinder are retards.

[annie24]

Out of all of the apps, this has to be the worst.

 

Signed up a month ago, and point 4 keeps happening to me. Girls - especially if they are hot - swiping right, then when I message them unmatch me.

 

The people who use Tinder are retards.

 

i think some people use tinder like a game, or they swipe right on everyone because they are curious who likes them. I've met some decent guys on tinder though, but we weren't a match. You can try other sites as well.

[yeahyeahyeah]

i think some people use tinder like a game, or they swipe right on everyone because they are curious who likes them. I've met some decent guys on tinder though, but we weren't a match. You can try other sites as well.

 

I am using a few of them yeah.

 

Eharmony - decent, but the only problem with it is that they have changed it so that it is more chat based. Success rate has dramatically lowered They used to have a guided chatting system, which was basically a guided communication questionnaire which did an amazing job in helping people get to know you. Now women just ignore you much more easily, there isn't that 'incentive' anymore to respond.

 

Coffee meets bagel - surprisingly it works, only issue with this app, takes AGES to get matched with anyone. But 100% of the time they have responded.

 

Tinder - burn in hell

[reinventmyself]

Tinder - burn in hell

 

Time to take a break

[yeahyeahyeah]

Time to take a break

 

Just got chatting to a bird on tinder, she asked me what my plans were this weekend. I told her that I didn't have any plans, except for playing world of Warcraft.

 

She stopped messaging me, and unmatched me.

 

What did I do wrong?

[reinventmyself]

How old are you?

[IAmFCA]

Just got chatting to a bird on tinder, she asked me what my plans were this weekend. I told her that I didn't have any plans, except for playing world of Warcraft.

 

She stopped messaging me, and unmatched me.

 

What did I do wrong?

 

1. You have no plans except

2. WoW

 

1 + 2 =

 

3. Friends, interests, engagement IRL - not so much, but plans, friends, engagement on line - active and growing.

 

Whether 1 + 2 = 3 is besides the point. Next time:

 

1. Give less detail

2. Downplay or do not reveal primary focus of your free time is WoW.

 

Unless you want to date only women who also play.

 

Take this opportunity of unscheduled time to pursue an interest that involves the world around you. Use those activities as things to talk about.

[Ms Darcy]

Omg, go outside. Talk to women.

 

All this complaining about how the internet is not getting you a woman you want is a bit silly.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Time to take a break

 

How old are you?

 

31 and I'm not ashamed that I play WoW. I have a level 70 warlock.

[Krankor]

31 and I'm not ashamed that I play WoW. I have a level 70 warlock.

Well you shouldn't be ashamed if it's something you enjoy. I wouldn't necessarily lead with that though. Being honest is great but put your best foot forward at first--women are often looking for a reason to reject you at first before they have any investment in you.

 

Yes, there is some truth to what you said about it in some ways being easier for women. A study by one of the dating websites had men ratings the women's looks and women rating the men's looks. The men rated the women on an almost perfect bell curve; most were about average, some a little below, some a little above, and a few well above and well below. The women however rated 80% of the men as below average. That obviously doesn't make mathematical sense but it's how women perceive things. If you're a single guy out there on the dating scene you are probably dealing with a lot of pickiness. However, women do have their own crosses to bear--make no mistake about that.

 

The last time I tried OLD I had no expectations. I just did it for fun, I was about 6 months out of a relationship and decided to see what else was out there. Met several interesing women and was in a relationship within 2 months. Again, no expectations.

 

Then when I went back I suddenly had all sort of expectations. But I found that I didn't want to put any effort into getting to know anyone and when I would get rejected I would take it ridiculously personally. Instead of just having fun with it and having no expectations (which worked well) I was this time expecting the app to serve up a new girlfriend to me on a silver platter. I took my profile down for the time; I'll put it back up when my attitude is better.

[rtyu4567]

Aint, that the truth!

[Annia]

I will tell you a story, I was recently on a date with a girl, we went on two intimate dates, kissing, groping the whole lot. In the end she rejected me on the bases that she felt that we're not on the same page with the way we communicated, but liked a lot of things about me. Till this day I'm scratching my head wondering how the hell can anyone figure that out after two dates.

 

If she is anything to go by, then it is no surprise why some women are single from having unrealistic expectations about men from being over analytical.

 

They are probably meeting decent guys but rejecting them over stupid reasons like that.

 

For the record this girl was going to pay for me on the date, I made it a point to take turns in paying.

 

At least she came up with a reason (true or not) for why she didn't want to continue to date with you. You've probably heard of countless stories of women being simply ghosted after many dates (happened to me too and I'm sure it happens to men too). She probably realised after two dates that you weren't what she was looking for and it's ok, it's better to realize that sooner than later. I've also had men deciding only after one date that it was enough (disappearing act), and I've also told guys politely after one date or two that it wasn't going to work. It's ok, we're all dating to get to know people and decide if we want something more or not. Sometimes we don't want more and that's ok. Don't take it personally.

[Annia]

i come across a lot of guys on tinder who are:

 

1) just looking for a FWB

2) in an open relationship and looking for another partner

3) unhappily married and want a discreet FWB or girlfriend

4) guys that swipe right but never message me (or ignore me if I message them)

 

im sure there are men on there who are genuinely looking for a relationship and have bad luck, but a lot of them aren't looking for a steady girlfriend.

 

This. You just forgot to add: 5) Guys who haven't moved on from the previous relationship looking for a quick rebound.

But I guess that many times that follows into the category of the guys looking for an FWB too lol

[abitbroken]

Just got chatting to a bird on tinder, she asked me what my plans were this weekend. I told her that I didn't have any plans, except for playing world of Warcraft.

 

She stopped messaging me, and unmatched me.

 

What did I do wrong?

 

You have to be kidding me.

If a woman asks you what plans you have for the weekend, she is either trying to determine if you have an interesting life, or she is giving you an opening to ask her out.

 

"I am meeting up with family Sunday. Saturday, I'm thinking of trying this new restaurant in town" - says you don't hate your family, you are not sitting on your rear playing video games and gives you a "soft sell" on asking her out on a date.

 

Or "i am renovating my house. Working on some projects but i am also thinking about (something that was a mutual interest from her profile) - going on a hike. Do you like to hike at the nature center?

[oap81]

I'll add my two cents to this. I have found love online. While they didn't last"forever" I've gotten two long term relationships from online. And I have a friend who got married to someone she met online. So it can happen It takes time and work

[Zippy2000]

I'll add my two cents to this. I have found love online. While they didn't last"forever" I've gotten two long term relationships from online. And I have a friend who got married to someone she met online. So it can happen It takes time and work

 

I agree. It takes a long time, a lot of frustration, through a lot of chancers and creeps. You just have to filter them out.

[yeahyeahyeah]

You have to be kidding me.

If a woman asks you what plans you have for the weekend, she is either trying to determine if you have an interesting life, or she is giving you an opening to ask her out.

 

"I am meeting up with family Sunday. Saturday, I'm thinking of trying this new restaurant in town" - says you don't hate your family, you are not sitting on your rear playing video games and gives you a "soft sell" on asking her out on a date.

 

Or "i am renovating my house. Working on some projects but i am also thinking about (something that was a mutual interest from her profile) - going on a hike. Do you like to hike at the nature center?

 

World of Warcraft > eating out.

World of Warcraft > travelling

World of Warcraft > real life social life

 

As a matter of fact

 

World of Warcraft = fulfilling social life. I have met people from around the world.

 

She responded, and thought I was joking. I then started talking about my level 70 warlock.

[IAmFCA]

31 and I'm not ashamed that I play WoW. I have a level 70 warlock.

 

You are right to be proud of excellence doing something you enjoy.

 

You also are responaible for your choice of how you invest your time and energy.

 

Someone, somewhere, will value your ranking in WoW. From a dating angle, it is a tough sell. It is a solitary activity, in a way. It doesn't require company of woman.

 

Generally speaking, women will look for your downtime to involve things that improve youraelf and/or your community, and benefit her in some way. Your health, your wealth, your standing in the community because of your good works... all good reaaons to know you.

 

WoW does not convey the same value to most.

[annie24]

Ok now I think we know why he's not getting matched!

[annie24]

World of Warcraft > eating out.

World of Warcraft > travelling

World of Warcraft > real life social life

 

As a matter of fact

 

World of Warcraft = fulfilling social life. I have met people from around the world.

 

She responded, and thought I was joking. I then started talking about my level 70 warlock.

 

people (men and women!) read profiles to figure out how they would fit into your life. When I read this, I think, "no thsnks, I don't want to sit being bored while my boyfriend is ignoring me for his games." It's like if I wrote a profile and said my hobbies were sleeping and online shopping. Which guy wants that???

[abitbroken]

people (men and women!) read profiles to figure out how they would fit into your life. When I read this, I think, "no thsnks, I don't want to sit being bored while my boyfriend is ignoring me for his games." It's like if I wrote a profile and said my hobbies were sleeping and online shopping. Which guy wants that???

 

Preach. You can talk all you want about how your lack of being God's Gift to Women or your ethnicity are a turn off to women - but the truth is, very few women are attracted to a man who sits around and plays WOW all the time. Even if you were the most breathtaking specimen of male attractiveness - you would only initially get dates and they would lose interest. Besides, you can't maintain a fit bod - you only have rear end spread with a hobby like that. So, you can't expect to date a vibrant woman who everyone gravitates to because of her inner beauty, zest for life and her average or much better looks. She won't be interested.

[Wiseman2]

I think you have to give people a reasonable chance. Dating apps aren't loaded with super models or brilliant profile writers or the wittiest flirts etc., just everyday people looking for a match. If the pics are appealing and the profile seems ok have a brief coffee meet. If it sucks then 'nice meeting you, bye' but if it's good, go for a second date.