30 days of No Contact log ( Think I can do it?)

[hrb23]

This weekend was rough but not because I wanted 'her', I just wanted someone, I felt lonely a lot. Weekends are the worst.

 

Yesterday I did manage to go hang at my friends house for several hours and we played video games and watched the Celtics! It was a lot of fun. She creeps into my mind every so often but I have no thoughts of contacting her or anything. There would be no point. I'm over that now.

 

Today is Day 9 NC, the day I've never made it past in several attempts. Today will be different. That's for sure.

[Whocares479]

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been speaking I've been on holiday and omg. I needed that week away. I feel like a new girl and my confidence is through the roof. I had a very very fun week and had men at my feet which is just... wow. Like I men real men! Hunk men. What was my exs name again? 😂 I can't even remember what day I'm on. I did think of him today, maybe that's because I'm at home. But I don't want him back. I'm sure I'll have my down days again, but I realise I don't miss him. I miss the intimacy and now I know I can do and deserve so much better. I'll wait and wait untill the right guy comes to me. I will never be treated like that again. I am worth so much more 😁

 

I am LOVING the progress. I remember a few weeks back we were both struggling with NC trying to keep out head up and look at us now!!!! So proud of you!

[Whocares479]

This weekend was rough but not because I wanted 'her', I just wanted someone, I felt lonely a lot. Weekends are the worst.

 

Yesterday I did manage to go hang at my friends house for several hours and we played video games and watched the Celtics! It was a lot of fun. She creeps into my mind every so often but I have no thoughts of contacting her or anything. There would be no point. I'm over that now.

 

Today is Day 9 NC, the day I've never made it past in several attempts. Today will be different. That's for sure.

 

Yes the Celtic won, I am sooo disappointed. Atleast you have created distractions. Yes!! I miss intimacy as well. I never knew it was so common. I hope everything gets better, you are doing so well.

[hrb23]

Yes the Celtic won, I am sooo disappointed. Atleast you have created distractions. Yes!! I miss intimacy as well. I never knew it was so common. I hope everything gets better, you are doing so well.

 

Don't you hate on my Celtics!!

[Whocares479]

I reached day 30!!!! Guys you don't understand how happy I am. If anyone think this was easy, it really wasn't. I failed NC a good 7 times before this. I am still proud. I do feel angry and the thought of him disgusts me now. I know that's still not healthy but atleast I am not idolizing him. Thank you everyone!!! Shunsparkle, Dominique, hrb23, BlackChapter, Boltrun, College guy,1a1a, Lonely Loner, HeartofGold, Anna and much more!!! ( if you weren't mention doesn't mean you didn't help I am just in rush so please forgive me). I wish you guys all the best. As for the thread it will continue, I just won't be counting as much, as RomanEmpire told me " Don't count the days, make the days count". Thanks once again!!

[WombatShadow]

I reached day 30!!!! Guys you don't understand how happy I am. If anyone think this was easy, it really wasn't. I failed NC a good 7 times before this. I am still proud. I do feel angry and the thought of him disgusts me now. I know that's still not healthy but atleast I am not idolizing him. Thank you everyone!!! Shunsparkle, Dominique, hrb23, BlackChapter, Boltrun, College guy,1a1a, Lonely Loner, HeartofGold, Anna and much more!!! ( if you weren't mention doesn't mean you didn't help I am just in rush so please forgive me). I wish you guys all the best. As for the thread it will continue, I just won't be counting as much, as RomanEmpire told me " Don't count the days, make the days count". Thanks once again!!

 

I know I haven't been on this train from the getgo, but I just wanted to reach out and congratulate you! 30 days is such an accomplishment. The longest I went was two weeks, though I'm not actively trying because we're "friends" at the moment. It does seem like you're healing, which is of course the only thing that matters.

 

Also, last night was the first Cavs game I've been able to watch during the playoffs because of work/rehearsals, and of course they forgot how to basketball as soon as I turned on the screen. Ugh, that was awful to watch.

[Shunsparkle]

I am LOVING the progress. I remember a few weeks back we were both struggling with NC trying to keep out head up and look at us now!!!! So proud of you!

 

So proud of you too! I know it's insane how different a few weeks make

[hrb23]

I reached day 30!!!! Guys you don't understand how happy I am. If anyone think this was easy, it really wasn't. I failed NC a good 7 times before this. I am still proud. I do feel angry and the thought of him disgusts me now. I know that's still not healthy but atleast I am not idolizing him. Thank you everyone!!! Shunsparkle, Dominique, hrb23, BlackChapter, Boltrun, College guy,1a1a, Lonely Loner, HeartofGold, Anna and much more!!! ( if you weren't mention doesn't mean you didn't help I am just in rush so please forgive me). I wish you guys all the best. As for the thread it will continue, I just won't be counting as much, as RomanEmpire told me " Don't count the days, make the days count". Thanks once again!!

 

You're so great. I'm a little way behind you but not too far. I just made it to Day 10 which is my new personal best and I'm almost certain I'll make it to Day 30 now barring any unforeseeable circumstances. It really feels great to be healing. I'm just a little lonely right now which is the only difficult thing.

 

Also, last night was the first Cavs game I've been able to watch during the playoffs because of work/rehearsals, and of course they forgot how to basketball as soon as I turned on the screen. Ugh, that was awful to watch.

 

In that case, can you keep watching please starting tonight so my Celtics can win!!

[Lonely Loner]

I know I haven't been on this train from the getgo, but I just wanted to reach out and congratulate you! 30 days is such an accomplishment. The longest I went was two weeks, though I'm not actively trying because we're "friends" at the moment. It does seem like you're healing, which is of course the only thing that matters.

 

Also, last night was the first Cavs game I've been able to watch during the playoffs because of work/rehearsals, and of course they forgot how to basketball as soon as I turned on the screen. Ugh, that was awful to watch.

 

Congrats on day 30!!!! (day 31 as of today) im very happy to hear that you made it this far keep going and im sorry i haven't been posting lately, just had alot on my mind.. Especially today, ex sent me 2 messages today.. So im trying to figure out if i should say something or not.. Idk.. 30+ days nc for me, don't wanna break it..

[Dominique]

I reached day 30!!!! Guys you don't understand how happy I am. If anyone think this was easy, it really wasn't. I failed NC a good 7 times before this. I am still proud. I do feel angry and the thought of him disgusts me now. I know that's still not healthy but atleast I am not idolizing him. Thank you everyone!!! Shunsparkle, Dominique, hrb23, BlackChapter, Boltrun, College guy,1a1a, Lonely Loner, HeartofGold, Anna and much more!!! ( if you weren't mention doesn't mean you didn't help I am just in rush so please forgive me). I wish you guys all the best. As for the thread it will continue, I just won't be counting as much, as RomanEmpire told me " Don't count the days, make the days count". Thanks once again!!

 

Sending you love and light, My Dear. 💙😊

[Dominique]

Congrats on day 30!!!! (day 31 as of today) im very happy to hear that you made it this far keep going and im sorry i haven't been posting lately, just had alot on my mind.. Especially today, ex sent me 2 messages today.. So im trying to figure out if i should say something or not.. Idk.. 30+ days nc for me, don't wanna break it..

 

Protect your heart.

[Lonely Loner]

Protect your heart.

 

Thank you, i will although i decided to respond to her but im not letting her back in my heart. Im not really saying much, the last message she sent was 30 days ago, one week after i started no contact..

Then she sent 2 messages today.. Idk what her reason is but i know it ain't to get back together, she responded quick.. Idk why she wanna talk all of the sudden but i won't be a fool

[Whocares479]

Thank you, i will although i decided to respond to her but im not letting her back in my heart. Im not really saying much, the last message she sent was 30 days ago, one week after i started no contact..

Then she sent 2 messages today.. Idk what her reason is but i know it ain't to get back together, she responded quick.. Idk why she wanna talk all of the sudden but i won't be a fool

 

BREADCRUMBS!!!!!!!!!! Do NOT respond. You will regret it. You will lose progress. She wants nothing but to check up on you. No intentions of getting back together.

[Dominique]

Thank you, i will although i decided to respond to her but im not letting her back in my heart. Im not really saying much, the last message she sent was 30 days ago, one week after i started no contact..

Then she sent 2 messages today.. Idk what her reason is but i know it ain't to get back together, she responded quick.. Idk why she wanna talk all of the sudden but i won't be a fool

 

Be careful of re opening wounds and scratching at your own scabs.

 

Sending you love.

[Lonely Loner]

BREADCRUMBS!!!!!!!!!! Do NOT respond. You will regret it. You will lose progress. She wants nothing but to check up on you. No intentions of getting back together.

 

Its too late i already did.. And you right, thats all she was saying "i just wanna check up on you" thats it.. I can tell she still feel the way she felt when i started no contact 30+ days ago.. However i didn't say much to her.. Just told her to be happy and not to worry about me.

I didn't really anwser her question but i did tell her to leave me alone.. How im not ready to be friends yet, but i think saying all of that just showed her im still not over her, but i don't want her back.. I don't want nobody right now.

Im over her.. I think i am, but i just felt like it was rude to not reply this time, im not a rude person so it was kinda hard not to say nothing this time.

Im know im gonna regret it later.. I already cried when i was sending the messages... -sighs-

Im sorry for being so weak.. At least i made it to 30+ days

[Annia]

Came to the realization that I won't get the satisfaction of ignoring him. How is everyone doing?

 

How I understand you... I think I won't be able to ignore mine because I don't think he'll reach out to me. I told him I needed time away to heal and move on so I unfriended him and all that so I know he'll respect that. He told me that before I move to the new country he'll talk to me and that if I need anything I can always reach out to him (which I won't lol), but I believe that he's going to forget about that and I hope that when the time comes for me to leave I will also forget about what he said about talking to me. I hope that I forget about him and stop caring about him with the other woman. It'll be about 5 months from now and I really hope that when that times comes I'm not so heartbroken and missing him lol

 

Definitely can't place the comparison game, as folks are fond of saying around here, you're comparing your insides to his outsides. Don't just settle for swiping sadly, think about the kind of guy you would like to attract, craft a thoughtful ok cupid profile that might attract that kind of guy, think of three new things you would like to try which will bring you into contact with new people, try and make One of those things something that you think guys you might like, might also be doing ( this one is worth noting because the kind of guy I think I want to date, well it's incredibly unlikely that he will be doing hip hop dancing hahahaha). Be mindful that the primary objective of the three new things is to be doing something, with secondary objective being to interact socially with new people (and a twin tertiary objective of coming into contact with potential new friends or partners.)

 

 

 

So unfaaaaaair. The singular disabling of chat is well and truly gone on my browser, maybe i updated, (or need to update) and it wrecked it. New plan, 3 scab bumping strikes and he's out (that is to say, if seeing his face makes me sad 3 more times I have to unfriend!!!!) Plenty of other ways for me to contact him for work things, no drama.

 

 

 

 

You don't want to satisfactorily be ignoring, you want to become so immersed in your own life that you forget he exists. Same challenge for you that I gave to Annia, if either of you are willing to accept it (I am taking this challenge for myself toooo).

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge accepted. Summer is almost starting and the weather is good. I can't stay depressed at home lol

[Annia]

Whocares479, I realise now that you reached the 30 days, isn't it? How do you feel?

 

I lost count of mine but I know I haven't reached the 30 days. I can't even check when my last contact day was because I deleted all the messages and everything from him. I'd say I'm at about 20 days. Time has been passing kind of slow for me... I need to keep myself busier in good social activities. Since I'm at home a lot (I'm not unemployed though), I have too much time to think about him and I must avoid it. I also have this tendency for daydreaming and having fantasies of him reaching out to me or telling me he broke up with her or petty stuff like that (I know, I should grow up lol) so I REALLY need to keep myself busy with good things so that I avoid this.

[1a1a]

Been getting stuck on the thought that my ex knew he didn't want me but couldn't put himself through the discomfort of telling me that (and so instead strung me along and made me crazy). I want to confront him about it. I won't though, I mustn't, I can't, that would serve no purpose. And I was driving through his hood Monday and it made me more glum and I posted about it on facebook. Got a msg from a stranger saying she'd been shown my post and she suspected we felt sad about the same guy for the same reasons. (We don't, she had her heart broken by the guy I went out with before my current ex, still, that's a kind of solidarity. I'm sorry she still gets triggered about it over a year on, even with her Currently being in a loving relationship. Still, reminds me I don't have one of those and there are none in sight)

 

Still running in friend time deficit. I've been tindering, mostly swipe left for everyone. Only had a a few matches and only two have talked and neither have really engaged with me. I need to counterweight this experience with the trying of the social hobbies thing. I had so many strategies brainstormed for coping with being alone and I have let every single one slip. I need to start doing them again. Still feeling pretty meh

 

Well done whocares!!!! and ShunSparkle, I am delighted to hear you had such a good time away. The rest of us, we're hanging in there yeah? Focus away from the ex, forward, onto the future!!

 

Hrb23 I be right there being lonely with you. What does your most awesome life look like? Anything you can do in those lonely times to get closer to that?

 

Lonely loner, it's no drama that you replied, I'm like you, don't like to be rude. But they really don't want us. Since I asked my ex to limit contact to email, like Annia and Whocares, he won't be presenting me with opportunities to ignore him. But before then, the intermittent communication was really holding me back. You gave this internet persons permission to be rude to your ex and ignore her if you've stated you want no contact and she breaks that boundary.

[hrb23]

Hrb23 I be right there being lonely with you. What does your most awesome life look like? Anything you can do in those lonely times to get closer to that?

 

Lonely loner, it's no drama that you replied, I'm like you, don't like to be rude. But they really don't want us. Since I asked my ex to limit contact to email, like Annia and Whocares, he won't be presenting me with opportunities to ignore him. But before then, the intermittent communication was really holding me back. You gave this internet persons permission to be rude to your ex and ignore her if you've stated you want no contact and she breaks that boundary.

 

I feel like I'm the most social introvert ever. I LOVE being around people, but only my special people, anyone else and I'm not interested. This is what makes it so difficult for me to move on and not feel so lonely. The only people I really WANT to hang out with are my X and my roommates and a few close friends. I really should be going out and meeting people though.

 

Still I'm spending a lot of time reading, playing video games and listening to various interesting podcasts which is my favorite thing to do. I've tried the dating app thing a little but it's so difficult. I struggle knowing that the girls I'm talking to are also talking to other guys. This is probably natural considering I just got cheated on. Need to move past this though because that's the way the real world works. Competition exists.

 

I'm onto Day 11 now. Kinda wish she would try and reach out to me still but it's all good. She'll care when it's too late. (It already is)

[hrb23]

I also have an elastic band that I wear all day and rip it off my wrist if my X even enters my mind. The pain is definitely a useful deterrent. Associating her with pain is very useful in staying away. (Do not try this at home)

[Roz]

I also have an elastic band that I wear all day and rip it off my wrist if my X even enters my mind. The pain is definitely a useful deterrent. Associating her with pain is very useful in staying away. (Do not try this at home)

 

Dude you and I sound very alike, in terms of social life and hobbies/habits etc. In addition to that I also use the elastic band technique, it doesn't change much using it but now and then a good hard twang on it helps a little. Just the little sting of it at least makes me a little fired up rather than mopey and sad!

[hrb23]

Dude you and I sound very alike, in terms of social life and hobbies/habits etc. In addition to that I also use the elastic band technique, it doesn't change much using it but now and then a good hard twang on it helps a little. Just the little sting of it at least makes me a little fired up rather than mopey and sad!

 

Word, I'm just a pretty regular dude that got taken advantage of. Trying to get back into regular habits and start enjoying my life again without this cloud over my head. The broken foot sucks because I can't play soccer which was my biggest outlet. Anyways, I'm taking it all as a sign.

 

I truly believe god did this as a way of bringing beautiful new light into my life in totally different ways. Taking the three most important things in my life away from me (my X, soccer, my second job) has left three new holes for me to fill with beautiful things. Things I probably wouldn't have considered trying or doing if I was still consumed by my old life/habits. Time to explore.

 

With every door that closes a new one opens.

[Roz]

Word, I'm just a pretty regular dude that got taken advantage of. Trying to get back into regular habits and start enjoying my life again without this cloud over my head. The broken foot sucks because I can't play soccer which was my biggest outlet. Anyways, I'm taking it all as a sign.

 

I truly believe god did this as a way of bringing beautiful new light into my life in totally different ways. Taking the three most important things in my life away from me (my X, soccer, my second job) has left three new holes for me to fill with beautiful things. Things I probably wouldn't have considered trying or doing if I was still consumed by my old life/habits. Time to explore.

 

With every door that closes a new one opens.

 

Dude crazy respect to you. Your outlook is admirable, and really something I hope to soon be able to emulate. I think you're doing good things, and thinking the right way mate, for sure. Just keep going, doing what you're doing and taking those positive steps forward, you seem to be in a really mature and forward thinking place which is incredible work. Well done dude, very happy for you!

[hrb23]

Dude crazy respect to you. Your outlook is admirable, and really something I hope to soon be able to emulate. I think you're doing good things, and thinking the right way mate, for sure. Just keep going, doing what you're doing and taking those positive steps forward, you seem to be in a really mature and forward thinking place which is incredible work. Well done dude, very happy for you!

 

Don't get me wrong, it's not easy, at all.

 

Do I wake up and think of my ex? Of course.

 

The trick is to do things that fill your life with happiness because ultimately that's what we want, to be happy. Regardless of how that happens or what it takes.

 

Do we want a toxic, mean and selfish person that's going to continue to hurt us? Of course not, we want the facets of that person that made us happy. But those can be found elsewhere, much easier it has to be said, once you're rid of that old person.

[hrb23]

Last night I decided to go on tinder just to see what happened.

 

Ended up 'liking' a girl I worked with about two years ago who had to leave to go to college. I had a huge crush on her at the time.

 

Anyway I liked her just because why not? She then 'Super' liked me back and we are now talking casually and catching up. Every day a new door opens if you want it too. You just need to put a bit of work in.

 

Day 12 now of NC. Step. By Step.