Should I Cut Off the ''Benefits''?

[katrina1980]

Wow, great article read Prajna! Thank you for sharing that.

 

I agree with you both, I will try to be more vulnerable and simply match him with what he said. And if that scares him away then i'll know in fact if has an issue with committing.

 

Okay good but honestly I don't know why you think it would scare him away. He has already told you he is exclusive, why would knowing you are too scare him away? This was said in another thread, but your mind is playing tricks on you, imagining things that just aren't there. Probably because of your insecurity and anxiety. Try to get a grip on that. Every action he is taking indicates he wants a "relationship" with you despite starting out as casual FWB or whatever it was. So be brave, open up. But okay if it scares him away, then at least then your know he has some issues and you can walk away with head held high knowing you were honest and open.

 

That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger! Or something like that. lol Good luck!

[abitbroken]

Wow, great article read Prajna! Thank you for sharing that.

 

I agree with you both, I will try to be more vulnerable and simply match him with what he said. And if that scares him away then i'll know in fact if has an issue with committing.

 

But don't be SO subtle that he can't pick up your signals either....

I think if you revisited the convo and told him you aren't seeing anyone else either, etc, its a good start, or that you are finding that you only want to date him

[s0fly]

I'm feeling anxious at the moment and don't know how I would even begin the conversation..

[s0fly]

Should I tell him in person or over text?

[Quidam]

Are you real ?!?

 

Get two chairs face to face:

 

"Hey I think im falling for you"

 

And then see where that goes

 

Talkkmm

[s0fly]

Help! He wants to see me tonight and judging by his "dirty" texts, he's probably expecting sex.

I don't know if I should text him back saying I just want to hang out and chat tonight (no sex) or should I just wait until he comes over to have our "talk.. don't want him to come over expecting sex and come off as a b**ch for letting him think that.

[reinventmyself]

Help! He wants to see me tonight and judging by his "dirty" texts, he's probably expecting sex.

I don't know if I should text him back saying I just want to hang out and chat tonight (no sex) or should I just wait until he comes over to have our "talk.. don't want him to come over expecting sex and come off as a b**ch for letting him think that.

 

If you feel he thinks you'll be B* because you have standards then let him go.

A good guy that has the right intentions will be happy to hear you have developed feelings for him.

If you are still afraid to tell him, how about you tell him you made a mistake and you aren't able continue having casual sex.

[Wiseman2]

Tell him you're busy or hookup. What makes you think he's entitled to sex?

He wants to see me tonight and judging by his "dirty" texts, he's probably expecting sex. I don't know if I should text him back saying I just want to hang out and chat tonight (no sex) or should I just wait until he comes over to have our "talk.. don't want him to come over expecting sex and come off as a b**ch for letting him think that.

[s0fly]

He's not entitled to it but I don't want to lead him on by making him think were having sex tonight. When really I just want to talk to him. I can't cancel because I just want to get our talk over with in person. And it's hard with our schedules to see each other so tonight is my chance.

[Jibralta]

Help! He wants to see me tonight and judging by his "dirty" texts, he's probably expecting sex.

I don't know if I should text him back saying I just want to hang out and chat tonight (no sex) or should I just wait until he comes over to have our "talk.. don't want him to come over expecting sex and come off as a b**ch for letting him think that.

 

Tell him that you just want to hang out and talk tonight. Then, when he comes over, tell him what's been on your mind.

 

If he cancels, you'll have your answer about a potentially having a full-on relationship with him.

[HeartGoesOn]

You can always meet in person in a public place. Wouldn't that solve the problem?

[s0fly]

I think It would be pretty awkward to have the talk in public.

[boltnrun]

It also would be awkward to have to decline his sexual advances in your or his home.

[s0fly]

No I think i'm just going to do what Jibralta suggested and just text him telling him I just want to hang and talk.

[sweetdesire]

& this is where "friends w/ benefits" becomes tricky..I honestly don't believe you can be involved for someone that long and not get emotionally attached.. Why, Because as you're continuing to hook up, you're learning more and more about each other and sooner than later finding you have more and more things in common. Let's be frank, you're not gonna hook up with someone you're not physically attracted to. Sooner than later, you start to "fall" for one another. Crave each others time more, spend more time together, hook up more thus leading to attachment.

I also believe it's important to stick to boundaries in order to help you gain some control over the situation. I wouldn't allow a guy to call me "babe" unless I really truly liked him. Because those little details are what cause the 'blurred" lines to begin occurring then leading to you to not knowing where you stand..Or if you see a guy is becoming more attached and giving you more attention that's your queue to back off, if you want to stay friends with benefits, unless you're wanting more. Sounds simple right? lol