Reddcxiii Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 Here's my crazy story. I dated this girl for two and a half years. She's 24 years old and I'm 31. We had a lot of arguments, anger issues, but our bond of love was really strong. I was in love with her and she told me that she felt the same way. We were talking about marriage on New Years Eve. We lived together in a house that we rented and had two amazing dogs together (she has both of them now and she won't let me see them). The next day I had a concussion and she took care of me. The day after that we got into an argument over a stupid misunderstanding and it blew way out of proportion. We both got verbally abusive, she got physically abusive because I wouldn't give her space (she had self harm issues and I always felt the need to protect her from herself). This all led to her having a panic attack and yelling that she couldn't breathe and started trying to break stuff. I ran to get her inhaler and she threw it. She kicked a hole in the wall. I was yelling calm down you have to breathe and trying to hold her to calm her down. Apparently we were very loud, because one of the neighbors called the cops. The cops said one of us had to leave, so I volunteered, to give her space. After that, she wouldn't let me come home, and forced me to come get all of my stuff. For the first month and a quarter I went through a vicious cycle, I begged and pleaded, we talked on the phone a couple of times and she would be extremely cold to me, so I lashed out and said some horrible things that I wish I never said. From there, she completely blocked me on everything. I have no way to contact her other than email or mail. I felt really bad for the things I said and did, so I wrote her a letter apologizing for everything and the things that I love about her. It ended up being very very long because I had a lot to say. I dropped it off, along with some dog toys on her front porch when I went on lunch one day. She calls my friend that night balling her eyes out, threatening to get a restraining order on me and saying it freaked her out. I meant no harm. I tried to talk to her friend about it and that blew up in my face. Her friend said that she doesn't want to talk. I waited two weeks after that and had a weak moment and tried to call her. I was blocked, but she saw it on the call log and unblocked me on text to tell me that she never wants to talk to me and to move on. I tried to apologize again and told her that I treated her like and that I really missed her. She said she doesn't care. As far as I know she is not dating anyone else, nor intends to. I know she's hurt and I plan on not trying to contact her for a long time. She's a very stubborn person and I feel like she's doing all of this because she is hurt. I still love her so much and I am willing to change everything for her. I've been going to therapy and everything. I've been really trying to make myself into a better man. How do I show her this? She told me once that I'm the first boyfriend that she ever truly loved and made her feel loved. She was my best friend. Is there any way to show her that I'm changing for real and that she can trust me? I really really want her back. Link to comment
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