How do you get a guy back after showing crazy tendencies?

[mpere1e]

I've liked this guy and been friends with him for three years, we've dated off and on but it was never the right time. He reached out in December because he needed a friend (his ex left him for another guy and got knocked up). We started getting really close and dating but for whatever reason I made all the mistakes of a crazy girl. I don't know if it was that I wasn't ready because I've been in severely abusive relationships in the past, my severe anxiety, or if it was that I was scared that I was finally getting what I wanted but I did everything to sabbatoge everything from the beginning. He was so sweet he fixed my turn signal for me, took me to the doctors when I was sick, and brought me soup and tea. Then I went crazy, I tried to push him away, freaked out after our first kiss, cried after the first time we had sex, drove by his house didn't see his car and accused him of cheating. The icing on the cake was when I told his ex who I was friends with that we were dating after he specifically asked me not to let her know destroying his trust. He then told me he didn't want to date me that he still cared but we needed to work on the trust issues together as friends that he wasn't going to date anyone else or sleep with anyone else that he wanted me he just couldn't trust me. For whatever reason I couldn't respect that and I kept pushing for a second chance thus pushing him further away. He started saying mean things to try to push me away, things that I knew deep down he didn't mean. we had one huge fight that ended up with me telling him I was done with him and didn't want anything to do with him that I later regretted. I asked him if we could talk about it and he ignored me and I later saw that he unfriended me on facebook. I didn't take this well and ended up blowing up his phone and getting his friends involved. He finally called me back furious saying he never wanted to talk to me again, I begged for his friendship but he just told me to eff off. I'll do anything to get him back at least as a friend. I miss him so much and can't imagine my life without him in in.

[DancingFool]

Wow.....I'm sorry but after all that I just don't see him ever wanting you in his life. Even if he ever were to return to being friends with you, it will be only after a lot of time has passed and the craziness has had a chance to fade out into history. Meanwhile, please don't contact him again in any way. I'm afraid things have gone far enough where he might file for a restraining order against you should you continue contacting him.

 

You will simply need to chalk this up as a painful life lesson and live with the consequences of that. Hopefully you never ever act like that towards anyone again.

[Lostinlove31]

1. Go no contact with him. You demonstrated what some might consider abusive psycho behvaiors.

 

2. Work on your stuff. Do what it takes to make sure you have a right mind.

 

3. If he does contact you keep it short. I have a feeling you would give in based off these behaviors. His feelings of trust with you are going to take a lot of work.

[Broomwood]

Waw! I think you need to fix yourself first. If it's him or next guy you'll really like, this situation will repeat itself. Think about how you can get qualified and regular counselling help, and what material you need to start reading to do work on yourself.

 

I think this guy is done with you now, and I honestly think this is the only right way in this situation.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this but it sounds like he used you as a rebound. It sounds like neither of you are ready for a relationship or being friends. The situation was too much drama.

 

Why did you keep trying to push him away and keep breaking up with him. Why didn't he want his ex to know about you and why did you bother telling her?

 

Lay back, pull your self-respect together and go no contact.

He reached out in December because he needed a friend his ex left him for another guy. Then I went crazy, I tried to push him away, freaked out after our first kiss, cried after the first time we had sex, drove by his house didn't see his car and accused him of cheating. I asked him if we could talk about it and he ignored me and I didn't take this well and ended up blowing up his phone and getting his friends involved. He finally called me back furious saying he never wanted to talk to me again, I begged for his friendship but he just told me to eff off.

[RainyCoast]

forget this and work with a counselor instead. i'm sorry you are hurting but this will just be a problem with anyone you're dating until you've worked through your emotional problems.

[Betterwithout]

He finally called me back furious saying he never wanted to talk to me again, I begged for his friendship but he just told me to eff off.

 

Being told to eff off is not usually said in jest. It should tell you that you need to take the advice.

 

As others have already mentioned, Therapy can be really beneficial for you, there is no stigma and nothing to be ashamed of.

Once you have worked through these emotions, you will be ready to date again.

[ParisPaulette]

You block and delete them and work on why you got so attached to someone you became unhinged a bit in the first place. I know, I've been there, trust me when I say its' the only thing that works.

 

In fact, you can take this as a major sign that this is a bad relationship for you. He has already clearly expressed he wants no contact. Now honor him on that and do it. And never contact him again. You've already pushed to far to recover anything.

 

So work on recovering your self and your own self-respect. Therapy is a very good idea, so is learning how to be independent enough that while you might love someone you don't expect them to be your sole source of happiness and entertainment. Because no one should be that but you.

[Matt3939]

Sounds to me like it's over. My ex would do some of the same things. I'd get mad leave. Things would get better id return. A change was never made. Even if it was I was still looking for the same behavior. It was a huge cycle. Like others have said work on yourself.

[Applewhite]

While your behavior wasn't good I don't think it came out of nowhere like you seem to think. He sounds shady not wanting others to know he's in a relationship etc. It would make anyone insecure and suspicious.