Hit my lover for cheating and lying

[Jlee]

I slapped my lover twice and punched him in the face when I found out he cheated and lied to me for past 2 years. He said he was divorced and his ex wife left. But I found out otherwise. Now he stopped contact. Was I wrong? Will he come back? Is he totally.over and done with me? We have a 1 yo child together. He has 2 kids with his wife.

[jmann45]

No you werent wrong at all. But why would you want him back? so he can continue lying to you?

[boltnrun]

I hope you got a DNA test so you can insist he pay child support.

[Clio]

Hitting someone is wrong. Period. However, two wrongs do not make a right. What he did to you was still awful and low. If you indeed did not know anything about all this, and it is not something you have ever done before, one can probably understand why you reacted this way. What is even more problematic though is asking for him to come back after betraying you like this and reaching you to this point. The man cannot be trusted, you lost your control and he sounds like a very poor role model for your child. You need to set your priorities straight. A healthy environment for you and your child should be your priority. Let some time for things to cool down and then then on keep your communication to him only about his father responsibilities. Other than that, it sounds best to move on without him. He cannot be trusted.

[Krankor]

It was wrong for you to resort to violence. That's not OK. But, I forgive you.

 

Knowing what you know, what do you care if he comes back? Get your child support and kick this guy to the curb. Easier said than done, I know, but do you really think this man is worthy of being in a relationship with you?

[Seraphim]

Absolutely you were wrong. He should have called the police.

[Seraphim]

Just because you're a woman doesn't make it right to slap and punch someone . If he had punched you in the face you would've called the cops . You need to cool your heels in a jail cell .

[dave_1966]

I hope you got a DNA test so you can insist he pay child support.

 

If I was him, so would I.

[leseine7]

I slapped my lover twice and punched him in the face when I found out he cheated and lied to me for past 2 years. He said he was divorced and his ex wife left. But I found out otherwise. Now he stopped contact. Was I wrong? Will he come back? Is he totally.over and done with me? We have a 1 yo child together. He has 2 kids with his wife.

 

Yes, In my opinion, you were wrong - physical violence is NEVER not wrong. You were angry, fine, but this response = physical abuse no matter what he did. The only time I would say it's okay is if someone is attacking you physically and you have to defend yourself physically in order to get away.

 

He is right to stop contact. You need to as well. No contact between you two until you know what your next step is. You cannot trust your own reactions, and that is clear. He is also untrustworthy here (obviously) and you need to figure out what to do about custody while you separate.

 

In terms of his cheating with his ex wife and lying to you, my condolences but it is good you know this now. You need to seek therapy to handle this info, and a lawyer to help deal with the situation with your child.

 

And for the 'will he come back' - You desperately need help for wanting him to. This is a volatile, horrible situation for you and ESPECIALLY for your 1 year old.

[Snny]

Absolutely you were wrong. He should have called the police.

If he contacts the police and pressed assault charges, his wife will find out about the affair. Not saying the OP was right, but clearly this guy doesn't want to be exposed.

[Knot2loud]

Yes. You were wrong, but WTH... Do you think he got the message? A lot of people think you should end the relationship. I beg to defer... If he's willing to correct his behavior and you're willing to forgive and not punch him out anymore... Then I wish your relationship the best.

[SooSad33]

Was I wrong? Will he come back?

- WHY would you want the bugger back? YOu nailed him for a reason...

[Jlee]

Actual fact is his wife called me and the 3 if us met. I admit that hitting him was wrong and never done so before. I couldnt control my anger when he told his wife that the baby is not his and that I slept around hence dont know who the baby father is. His name is on the child birth registration which he acknowledged and signed the form when we register our baby birth. I am very hurt and felt betrayed by his words and action. 2.5 years of being lied to is pure torture. Not that I want him back but I dont think he will be paying child support anymore. In my country when the father defaults payment, the court will not do anything. He did mentioned that I cant force him to pay child maintenance as he will tell the court he doesnt have money.

[cupcake22]

Yes violence is wrong, but in matters of the heart, we've all been there. IMHO, good riddance of that guy! Don't invite him back into your life. Imagine your child knowing you put up with a lying and cheating man. That's not a good lesson to send a child.

[Wiseman2]

File for child support anyway. Since he is legally married their assets are joint assets and the wife could actually end up having to pay them. Maybe then she'll be the one punching him in the face?

he told his wife that the baby is not his.He did mentioned that I cant force him to pay child maintenance as he will tell the court he doesnt have money.