Can someone please explain why she is doing this to me???

[skinsfan]

Hello all,

 

Idk if you've read the previous posts, but I'm going on week three of a terrible breakup.

 

Long story short, My girlfriend of two years went to study abroad in Greece in January. She begged me for a month straight to come out so I did... worst mistake ever. You could tell things had changed a little. The second day after returning home from my trip she called and dumped me... told me shes changed and all that crap. Yeah I can respect that and understand her feelings and I know that I have to just let her go and move on BUT:

 

I literally gave her the world. In fact, I traveled across the world just to see her.

 

And 1 week after dumping me she immediately started to posts TONS of pictures of her and her new Greek "friend." The guy who I met over there and knew that I smelled a rat the second I saw him. This story is really like one of those from the movies and its killing me.

 

She tried texting me a week into no contact, and I semi-lost it. She said she cared about me so much and wanted to know how I was doing and that she thinks of me often. I said "If you cared about me you wouldn't post that garbage." She sent a big text saying how we'd meet up when she gets back and that its only a friend and that she owes so much to me.... I cut it off after that. Deleted everything... her number, and everything on social networking.

 

She knew that I hated this dude. She begged me to travel to see her. I saw her. Before her trip I was the best boyfriend ever to her. During the trip I was the best boyfriend ever to her.

 

Now I know feelings change and I can't change how she feels... But why would she post all of these pictures knowing so well that its like repeatedly jabbing a knife into my heart? I did nothing but good to her... and I respected the fact that she wasn't feeling it anymore... But whats motivating her to post all of these hurtful pictures??? She is not a huge Facebook poster in general... and shes probably posted more pictures of her and this guy in a week than she posted of me and her in a year. It totally sucks. And even though I just took the first step to deleting everything... I can't help but to constantly be haunted by the pics I already saw. And most importantly, wonder WHY SHE IS DOING THIS!? Its also so embarrassing for me! everyone online saw the photos of the two of us in Greece, then all of a sudden her whole feed is filled with this bs! All of my friends have seen... Everyone who knows us and that we've been together have seen! So now I don't even want so show myself in public! Its not fair at all.

 

Can someone please give me a logical explanation of why she is doing this??? Why she has turned so ice cold in a matter of days??? Before I got to Greece, We talked every single day on skype and text, she made time for me every single day. And I understand she wants freedom now or her feelings have changed or whatever... BUT WHY IS SHE DELIBERATELY POSTING THESE HURTFUL PICTURES?

[reinventmyself]

There are countless posts of those who have been left behind that want to get inside the ex's head to decode their behavior. I've done it. I guess it an attempt to make sense of the insensible.

 

But in the bigger picture, it doesn't matter what they are thinking, feeling and what their actions mean.

I think it's an attempt on your part to continue to stay attached in an indirect way.

 

It's far better to use all the energy on yourself at this time.

It's valuable time and energy wasted on them.

 

So catch yourself when you are spiraling into the why's and what if's.

Put some blinders on, turn off social media and use this energy on taking care of yourself and detaching.

It's a tough time. . Hang in there

[adviceplease2]

Sounds like she's probably wrapped up in the exotic fun of being abroad....having met a native man....and getting laid by a native man. If she dumped you that quick after you got back home, I'd bet it was so she wouldn't feel guilty being with him.

 

Why is she posting the pics.....who knows....just from reading your post all I can gather is she wrapped up and having fun abroad and doesn't really care about anything else.

 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with the emotions you're having....but deleting her and not checking her facebook stuff is best.

[Wiseman2]

It's your perception that she is doing this to hurt you. It's her social media so she can post whatever she wants for her friends, family etc. to see. Creeping her social media is what's causing this. She is just living her life.

My girlfriend of two years went to study abroad in Greece in January. Now I know feelings change and I can't change how she feels... But why would she post all of these pictures.Can someone please give me a logical explanation of why she is doing this?

[Hollyj]

She has made herself look the the jerk she is. Go out with your head held high.

 

I hope that you have blocked this girl, and are no longer responding to her?

[bulletproof]

Its also so embarrassing for me! everyone online saw the photos of the two of us in Greece, then all of a sudden her whole feed is filled with this bs! All of my friends have seen... Everyone who knows us and that we've been together have seen! So now I don't even want so show myself in public!

 

I think you're going a little over the top here. While this is very big in your world, chances are your friends and other people who know you two don't think too much about it one way or the other. And if they do, they'd probably think less of her than of you.

 

The whys don't matter. Just focus on yourself.

[Clinton]

Exes usually don't go out of their way to cause us pain. It's we who cause ourselves the pain by trying to keep track of our exes life.

 

People change their minds all the time about relationships. Whether or not you knew it, she's been contemplating leaving for a long time before the breakup. She may have some lingering feelings for you or it could just be guilt. Either way the outcomes the same and you need to move on.

[Robin2904]

She's not posting these things directly to upset you, she's enjoying her 'fun filled' life abroad and basking in it and wants to share it. People change, feelings change in the blink of an eye. She probably realized she was missing out on all this potential fun living abroad by being tied down to a long distance boyfriend and cut you off so she could explore and have fun. Is it crappy? Yeah, but people do crappy things sometimes especially if you're young and caught up in the excitement of a situation like this.

 

Don't be surprised if when she returns home she tried to talk to you again and wants to get back together. That's why she mentioned meeting up when she was back, she thought she could keep you there until after she was done having fun. Don't let her do that, block her and let her know you're moving on without her.

[Billie28]

As someone else mentioned it's not embarrassing. Anyone seeing her pics of this guy will simply think you two might have split but that's it.

People see it all the time on fb.

But I doubt her intentions are to hurt you. Perhaps if the break up was your idea yes but since it was hers no.

I get that it might make you uncomfortable in a social setting where people have learnt of your break up through fb rather than from you.

But really you have nothing to be embarrassed about!

[dave_1966]

She (and most likely you) are of College age, and these things are par for the course as you explore new experiences. It's a big learning curve, and it's not very nice sometimes. The best thing you can do is block her on social media, your phone, and your life. This way you will heal quicker and be ready for the next great love of your life, and you really don't want to miss that opportunity because you're still crying in to your beer.

[Ms Darcy]

My guess is that she was not even thinking about you when she posted .... but just posting her fun times in a foreign country.

 

Stay away from social media.

[mmendes]

Because she doesnt care about you. And no, that's not acceptable. She is being an *sshole for hurting someone who dares about her.

But theres nothing u can do. Just block her and keep her away from u. She doesnt deserve your love anyway.

[Densel]

It happens to women in their 30s too.

My ex was posting pics of us today, and next day plaster so many pics of she and the man she left me for.

U need to leave facebook alone. It will only do you more harm.

Ignore her all the way.

[TMifune]

Sorry, this sucks.

 

My take is that she was cheating on you in Greece before you ever got there. She thought that was fine because she's out of country. Some weird kind of "what happens in Greece stays in Greece" thing. Then you came to visit and that made her face the reality that it's still cheating if it happens in another country. So shed tried to alleviate her guilt by breaking up with you with the lame excuse that she "just changed". She changed boy toys. She's still the same kind of person underneath....I person who would cheat as long as she can get away with it and then make excuses for it.

 

Facebook is basically validation porn for women and girls. Slap something inane on there and get a whole bunch of likes and you can believe you're worthwhile for another day. Take away the likes for a single day and those same girls will start cracking like crazy. She's not putting all that stuff on there for you or to upset you. It's on there for her. Because each and every person that says something positive or clicks "like" on a photo of her and the new guy allows her more room to rationalize why her behavior was acceptable and not somewhat deplorable as she really knows it was on some level.

 

It's all a game to soothe her ego.....as much as this hurts I doubt she even thinks about how you'd feel before she posts it.

[TMifune]

She tried texting me a week into no contact, and I semi-lost it. She said she cared about me so much and wanted to know how I was doing and that she thinks of me often. I said "If you cared about me you wouldn't post that garbage." She sent a big text saying how we'd meet up when she gets back and that its only a friend and that she owes so much to me.... I cut it off after that. Deleted everything... her number, and everything on social networking.

 

Don't fall for this crap. She's telling you this because she knows that her Greek chew toy is just a fling. She's not going to maintain a long distance relationship with him when she returns and she wants to set the stage for you to still be available when she comes back. Remember if she does, that she was more than willing to put you through what you're going through right now just so she could get her rocks off with someone new. There's 0 love in that.

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

I can't add much more because the posts here are spot on. Just realize this is not someone you can trust when your back is turned, ever. It hurts like hell, but you've done everything correctly. If you don't ignore her, it will only let her feel as though she can jerk you around and has complete control. Good job to you and good riddance to her.