Ms Darcy Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 TC, maybe you should think about talking to her. I really do feel so much better having been honest. I like honesty too. That way if and when it doesn't work out, he doesn't feel completely blindsided. He'll still be hurt, but he knows you had been questioning things for a while and all wasn't perfect. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 Nothing new to report. We've seen each other 3 days this week, all in a row, and were supposed to go out to dinner last night, but he cancelled. He was going to go look at an apartment close to me, but they cancelled on him, so he just canceled the evening. I didn't mind, it's his first cancellation and I needed an evening to myself, anyway. I also forgot to mention that during our talk, I did ask that we go do more things as a couple out - dinners, movies, billiards, go to the beach, etc. Just fun stuff that gets us out together. I remember what was suggested about our dating life not being very exciting, so I brought it up to him. He agreed with me. Last time I went over to his place, I went over after dinnertime, but I hadn't eaten yet, so he took me out to grab something quick. I thought I was going to just take it back to his place to eat, but he surprised me and took me to the beach near his place so I could eat it there. There was a nice breeze and we sat there talking in the sand for a little while. It was spontaneous and romantic. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Went over to his place for dinner and to hang out. We haven't been intimate since the talk and he went out of his way to tell me we'd have the evening alone. Got there, things started getting heated, and (sorry for TMI) I went down on him - and after, he told me he didn't want to get too crazy tonight since he had to work later. I was annoyed and a little hurt, too. I've never had any issues doing oral on a partner, but it's the first time I felt like my love of it was taken advantage of. Especially since he specifically told me we'd be alone. I texted him after I left to tell him how I felt about it. He apologized, said he realized it and asked what he could do to make it up to me. All I said was I wanted to tell him because we won't see each other for a week and I didn't want it to fester. Not sure where to go from here. Link to comment
missmarple Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Got there, things started getting heated, and (sorry for TMI) I went down on him - and after, he told me he didn't want to get too crazy tonight since he had to work later. Ouch! I would be VERY annoyed if something like that had happened to me...and, especially, when you won't see each other for a week. You're very patient Link to comment
notalady Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Hmm that's a bit selfish of him, that he didn't even attempt to satisfy you / reciprocate... I guess you'd have to pay attention to future behaviours like this. When Z feels tired and doesn't want to go crazy (TMI alert) we'd do it for a while and he'd make sure I get off, and he just won't bother getting off. He's just like na it's alright, no big deal. I always look at him like he's crazy and go, are you sure?! Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Ouch! I would be VERY annoyed if something like that had happened to me...and, especially, when you won't see each other for a week. You're very patient I WAS very annoyed. I was quite angry once I left and stewed about it on the way home. And by the time I got home, I was just angry enough to text him about it. His tone via text seemed very apologetic and unhappy, like he knew he was very wrong. He asked how he can make it up to me, etc. but really, how can you "make it up" to someone after doing that? Next time, I'll wonder if he's doing -whatever- because he wants to or if he knows he owes me one. I don't know. I'm just confused and sort of put out about it. I'm just going to let it go and keep it in mind in case there's a next time. Link to comment
mhowe Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 He knew it was wrong but did it anyway! I call a strike on this one. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Yeah. I didn't text him good morning, nor did I receive one. He knows he's in the dog house. That's just something you don't do when you're pursuing a relationship with someone. I mean, this really doesn't seem like it should be such a big deal. I'm wondering why the bothering me so much. I think it's just because, for the first time, I felt really bad about my own sexual prowess. The whole thing made me feel just like a lot of women (unfortunately): that maybe I shouldn't be so free with sexual favors for my man. Leaves a foul taste in my mouth, really. (Not literally) Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 Of the handful of days that have passed, we've spoken sparingly. He is leaving today for our trip (solo); I have the wedding this weekend; therefore, we won't be seeing each other until next week at the earliest. If we can't overcome a small bump like this, I don't know if we'll work it out. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 I don't have one. I heard from him a fair bit today. He called me after he got there to chat for a couple minutes, then sent me a couple photos of something new that they just put in. He was full of excitement and has mentioned several times of a future trip he wants to plan for us together. At this point, I'm just letting it ride. I'll see how we are once I see him after this weekend. That's all I can really do. Link to comment
notalady Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Yea I think if it's a one-off and his initial intention was to reciprocate later but just got too tired, then I'd let it slide. If it happens more I wouldn't be ok with it. Link to comment
faraday Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 It's good to give the benefit of the doubt when you can. Hopefully he'll make you glad you gave it him. Link to comment
faraday Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I posted in your journal instead of mine Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Yea I think if it's a one-off and his initial intention was to reciprocate later but just got too tired, then I'd let it slide. If it happens more I wouldn't be ok with it. I'm sure it is a one-off - but it's gotten me sort of disinterested. I haven't thought much about him at all. I don't miss him. I don't think I'd be pining if I didn't hear from him for a day - which isn't the case, as he's texted me multiple times today and he called as well. Am I that shallow in that I can so easily consider ending a relationship based upon a small misunderstanding? Link to comment
missmarple Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Am I that shallow in that I can so easily consider ending a relationship based upon a small misunderstanding? No. It's not like you've been together for years, after all..and what happened wasn't a misunderstanding..it was him acting insensitive. Link to comment
faraday Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think in the beginning it's a really delicate dance...that can easily be swayed in either direction....and a lot of it by little interactions that create a lot of perceptions based on our past experiences. You were on the fence about him before...he's not really making much of a case for coming to his side. Link to comment
notalady Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think in the beginning it's a really delicate dance...that can easily be swayed in either direction....and a lot of it by little interactions that create a lot of perceptions based on our past experiences. You were on the fence about him before...he's not really making much of a case for coming to his side. Agree with this. Many little things had created doubt in my head before that later resolved or upon thinking isn't a big deal, I think it's natural to think about ending things this early on in the relationship if something causes you concern, whether for good reason or not. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 I am starting to miss him - but I'm not sure in what capacity. I miss hanging out with him, cuddling up against him. But I'm not sure if it's me missing spending time with someone, not necessarily him, or him in particular. Just have to get through this week and weekend. I think when I see him again, I'll know more about how I'm feeling. Link to comment
testcase Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Ug being unsure sucks!! It's like you're not 100% ready to end it... But you're not quite happy too. I know this all too well. Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 I'll see him today after work for the first time since last week. Link to comment
faraday Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Have you guys been talking much? Did you miss him on the weekend? Link to comment
WithLove Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Haven't talked a lot outside of just the usual pleasantries. I've been really busy with the wedding this weekend, and he's been busy cleaning (a family member moved out and that room needed to be emptied). I honestly don't know if I missed him, but I am looking forward to seeing him today. We'll see, I guess. I'm also looking forward to his kisses and cuddling. That's got to mean something, right? Link to comment
faraday Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 What are you guys doing tonight? Link to comment
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