Online dating pet peeves

[Lonewing]

The weight difference we're talking about here is not the 5-20 lbs people always ring up, that's a manageable deficit. We're talking 30-50, where it's becoming obvious that something needs to be done differnetly. Everything over that...I don't even know where to begin. I just don't.

[Mb1212]

Okay I see what you're saying but its also important to note that I think the reason most woman FIRST start hitting the gym is to lose weight and then over time they do it because they enjoy it as well. But I also think its really dumb for people to get a gym membership, lose ten pounds then cancel the membership I do think that is just plain stupid.

[Thorshammer]

Hahaha I don't think I would feel comfortable checking a box that days "goddess" either!!

 

Oooo ok.. so then DONT!

[Mb1212]

Oooo ok.. so then DONT!

 

I don't use online dating sites so I don't have to worry about this issue

[Realitynut]

hmmmmm.....on OKC there's a an option for 'used up'....that's what i have!

 

What do ya think that tells ya????

[Thorshammer]

I don't use online dating sites so I don't have to worry about this issue

 

Lol, good, but to me- you will always have goddess checked

[Lonewing]

Okay I see what you're saying but its also important to note that I think the reason most woman FIRST start hitting the gym is to lose weight and then over time they do it because they enjoy it as well. But I also think its really dumb for people to get a gym membership, lose ten pounds then cancel the membership I do think that is just plain stupid.

 

It's a mindset I'd hate to be married too!

 

Some women do learn to like going to the gym, but then again it may just be for the attention. And those who go all the time, let's be honest their best match is a reflection of themselves, because that's what they both value.

 

When I have my PT season [twice a year for the three months before my PT tests] I don't lose weight and I don't gain weight. I'm at a 24.5 on the BMI at my worse, I drop down to a 23.5 on a light week. As soon as my weight starts edging toward 185, I call a "knock it off" and cut my meals in proportion.

 

So that's what I look for - someone who has learned to manage without jumping on the "We have to exercise more!" bandwagon. Exercise is one of the worst political science arenas of all, there's so little numbers to support one part one way or another.

[Lonewing]

I don't use online dating sites so I don't have to worry about this issue

 

You meet the same people in person who are on the dating sites. They're no different in person than they are online when you get right down to it. Online may actually dissuade you from dating some of them in person, only because you get to see so much before you get attached.

[Realitynut]

Also, it's a known fact that women just NORMALLY have more fat cells then men. I think i read somewhere that we have an added layer...i dunno...i read it a LOOOONG time ago.

 

Add that to the fact we have BABIES...and i had mine in my late 30's...and were almost 10 pounders and i'm 5'3" sigh....You never see women putting on there profiles...must be slender and fit. At least i don't...but then again, i've never looked.

 

Ohhhh....but i do see athletic on a guys profile, and he has a big beer gut!!!!

[Mb1212]

Lol, good, but to me- you will always have goddess checked

 

You're too sweet thorshammer, I like you

[Mb1212]

Also, it's a known fact that women just NORMALLY have more fat cells then men. I think i read somewhere that we have an added layer...i dunno...i read it a LOOOONG time ago.

 

Add that to the fact we have BABIES...and i had mine in my late 30's...and were almost 10 pounders and i'm 5'3" sigh....You never see women putting on there profiles...must be slender and fit. At least i don't...but then again, i've never looked.

 

Ohhhh....but i do see athletic on a guys profile, and he has a big beer gut!!!!

 

If I were to have a dating profile I would actually put fit or athletic for what I'm looking for lol. I personally couldn't date someone who didn't work out just because exercise is something I value.

[potd2009]

You never see women putting on there profiles...must be slender and fit. At least i don't...but then again, i've never looked.

 

I wouldn't put this on my profile, but slender or athletic build is a must for me, and as a toned size...somewhere between 0 and 2, I'm not asking for anything I can't reciprocate. I'm extremely active (10-14 workouts/week), and I'm looking for someone with whom I can share one or more of my several exercise/training interests. It's not quite coincidence that the people who are serious about hardcore physical activity tend to be in good shape. The last guy I dated was a half/full marathon runner; current guy is an avid hiker and backpacker. I'm also aware that people who are naturally passionate about working out are much more likely to remain in shape over time (something I'd definitely prefer in a partner and will be able to offer a partner myself) than guys who just happen to be reasonably fit because of a high metabolism in their 20s but who will develop a paunch over time because they're not active.

 

ETA In case this makes me sound *too* high-maintenance, I should add that beyond slender/athletic build, I have absolutely no hard physical requirements and very few preferences. (If you lined up the guys I've dated, they'd look almost comically different from each other and it would be clear that I don't have any particular type beyond "fit.") I'm fine with short and tall guys (seriously...5'0 is fine, 6'5 is fine, anything else is fine), any ethnicity, any hair/eye color, etc. I can work with hair loss, too. Just be in shape.

[LoveSoDeep]

I missed a bunch today so some of these are form way back.

 

 

 

I totally agree there are so many guys on there (and maybe gals too I haven't looked)that are....not so desirable....that you don't have to be amazing to get noticed and the longer you're on there the less attention you get. It's actually not a bad idea to close out every couple weeks. I haven;t tried that but I do update my profile often and it shows up as new when you do that.

 

 

 

Good point. Personally I do read the profile if a guy marks that he wants a girl 5'5" or taller I don;t message him b/c I'm 5'1" now if they say 5'2 or 3 I might give it a shot. lol

 

You have to know this goes both ways though right? Because if I were to say something equally as shallow like not to message me if you're 5'8" or shorter. Actually I do mark that in my search preferences I just don't spell it out in the text portion... and I still get tons of messages from short guys. That's easy though just ignore.

 

What I don't appreciate though is guys who embellish or use really old pics. Don't say you are average weight if you're 50 pounds overweight. Don't use pics from 5 years ago. If I can't pick you out the second you look my way at the cafe or where ever.....then that's uncool b/c my pics are me dead on and every guy I've met knows exactly who they are meeting. Even if some of them are a few years old if it didn't look like me I wouldn't use it.

 

I wonder if guys assume my pics are fake or old b/c I really do look almost 10 years younger than I really am...always have.

 

 

 

Very good point!

[Lonewing]

Also, it's a known fact that women just NORMALLY have more fat cells then men. I think i read somewhere that we have an added layer...i dunno...i read it a LOOOONG time ago.

 

Add that to the fact we have BABIES...and i had mine in my late 30's...and were almost 10 pounders and i'm 5'3" sigh....You never see women putting on there profiles...must be slender and fit. At least i don't...but then again, i've never looked.

 

Ohhhh....but i do see athletic on a guys profile, and he has a big beer gut!!!!

 

You cannot fool me on the difference...when the tire has Dunloped over, that's not "because I'm a woman and women are different." Men Dunlop over too.

 

Having babies accounts for 18 months per child. Before and after that 18 months, well, I don't see an excuse...

 

And a word on that...The extra weight may be a way to add a half size or a size to your boobs, but in proportion they'll look no bigger than they did before. You may be adding ten points to your boobs, but it's subtracting 20 points from, well everywhere else.

 

I hate to dwell on it like this, but it's how it goes.

 

And I have seen women who state they're looking for a guy who's not overweight.

[LoveSoDeep]

The other type of guy I hate to see online:

 

My Brother - Seriously my brother lives in my city and is single and 2 years older than me so it's logical that we would end up in each other's pool of available singles POF doesn't know he's my brother....but man there is nothing more horrifying than seeing a tiny pic and thinking "that looks familiar" and clicking on it only to find ITS YOUR BROTHER! EEEK and now he knows you looked at his profile! Double EEEEKKKK! Yep it's kinda icky. I had to block him. LOL

[John John]

Lol, good, but to me- you will always have goddess checked

 

Took the words right out of my mouth. Goddess mode = activated

[Lonewing]

The other type of guy I hate to see online:

 

My Brother - Seriously my brother lives in my city and is single and 2 years older than me so it's logical that we would end up in each other's pool of available singles POF doesn't know he's my brother....but man there is nothing more horrifying than seeing a tiny pic and thinking "that looks familiar" and clicking on it only to find ITS YOUR BROTHER! EEEK and now he knows you looked at his profile! Double EEEEKKKK! Yep it's kinda icky. I had to block him. LOL

 

What kind of sister are you? Family's suppose to help each other out!

[LoveSoDeep]

What kind of sister are you? Family's suppose to help each other out!

 

Haha! Well my older brother and I are not close. I don't want to know about his love life. I know the feeling is mutual there. lol My younger brother.... on the other hand....we're much closer and I'd help him in a heartbeat.

[Realitynut]

Lonewing...you're only 31....i looked pretty HOT at 31 too!! Got married at 32. And believe me...my stomach NEVER looked the same after my 10 pound baby! Plus i had 2 cesareans....I think if half these guys had babies...you'd feel a little different!

 

Plus, we weren't all fitness crazy 30+ years ago...like you kids on here are....

[Realitynut]

eh....ex husband and i kept getting 'matched'. What's even worse, he met a woman in those 3 months and was married 8 months later.

 

Oh yeah. Tonite i was out with a group of women. A meetup group called 50+. lol

 

Anyway, i was talking about ex-husband and had pic of him and my 2 kids from 2008. This one girl said, what's his name, i think i went out on one date with him. I said, YOU DATED HIM? She said NO....ONE date. He showed up with flowers and i could tell he was going to come on strong! lol It was him. He kept emailing her, but she said NOPE.

 

Too funny. She was cute.

[Lonewing]

Lonewing...you're only 31....i looked pretty HOT at 31 too!! Got married at 32. And believe me...my stomach NEVER looked the same after my 10 pound baby! Plus i had 2 cesareans....I think if half these guys had babies...you'd feel a little different!

 

Plus, we weren't all fitness crazy 30+ years ago...like you kids on here are....

 

I hate PT. If it weren't for my job, I wouldn't touch it.

 

I'm simply saying that there's a distinct difference between managing weight and obesity. My mom decided she didn't want to be fat anymore, and between memorial day and labor day last year she lost 50 lbs. All she did was cut her portion size in half. And she definitely got her baby fix, all 7 of them...2 Cs in all.

 

You may not have abs, but a tummy or chubs is a bit different versus, well...let's just say that BMI think isn't as far fetched as people like to claim...

[Mb1212]

You meet the same people in person who are on the dating sites. They're no different in person than they are online when you get right down to it. Online may actually dissuade you from dating some of them in person, only because you get to see so much before you get attached.

 

I'm not knocking online dating its just not something I'm personally interested in.

[quirky]

I am getting super paranoid about the curvy bit How many lbs over would you say is more than curvy? What is the lady here in the pic?

 

 

 

Also I thought curvy was also defined by the chest, waist, bum ration that it's good if it's 7 or below or something.

[hodgeheg]

Slight detraction from the original idea of this thread but this is quite interesting. I'd say that in this picture:

 

 

 

1. Thin

2. Average

3. Curvy. She is definitely not fat.

 

Although an average woman in the UK is a size 16 and number 2 is definitely smaller than that and probably number 3 also.

I have the delightful paradox of being a mixture of number 1 on the top and number 3 on the bottom! I put my body as "average" on PoF because I think "thin" would make a guy think "skinny", which I'm not, and although I go to the gym I'm not toned so I don't think my body would class as "athletic".

[Thorshammer]

 

You have to know this goes both ways though right? Because if I were to say something equally as shallow like not to message me if you're 5'8" or shorter. Actually I do mark that in my search preferences I just don't spell it out in the text portion... and I still get tons of messages from short guys. That's easy though just ignore.

 

 

Yes, i wrote that on my follow up post. I am a dude, im pretty confident, feed my ego a bit i wont lie and say i might get arrogant - but i dont have a set to lie about something online - i would get super embarrassed and nervous to show up with something off in my height or weight. But people do do this- and if it happens again and the difference is huge- hate me if you want-i will say something and leave. That happened to a coworker of mines, he walked up to the car, saw her size- noticed she lied about her weight, then walked right back into his car mumbling.

 

I have had women actually expect me to be a huge guy like vin diesal, thats actually who i remind them of (which i hate, because to me he looks ugly), except a different face- i dont have his nose or lips - i always get the, I was expecting you to be over 6 feet tall, huh? My stats are on my profile, lol. Though thats never held me back, last girl i dated was 3 - 4 inches taller than me, tall women stare at me all the time- but again- my stats were real.

 

I also went from bulked up muscle to leaned out ripped - and i changed my profile accordingly.

 

My friend is actually very curvy, but shes too curvy, and with certain clothes she looks big. Her waist is super-small. I will admit that i would be confused and wrong, if i met a girl like that, because some clothes will make her look round all around.