Throwaway999 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Funny that you mention grammar...I thought that was mainly a turn-off for women. Glad to see that men have text/message standards, too! Yes, it is a turnoff for me, too, and I'm a dude. I just think the amount of care you put into how you present yourself with text in some ways reflects the amount of thought or care you would put into your real-life interactions. As well as your general intelligence level. Link to comment
quirky Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Ugh, tell me about it. My most recent date, she was SO SMART and we connected on an intellectual level, and she was even kinda cute, but on the second date she showed up kind of... disheveled? I mean, not like she looked like a bag lady, but she just looked kind of frumpy. I was like, "She seems so smart, I don't want to be shallow" but then I was like, "It's not shallow to want a woman who knows how to put herself together a little." Especially if it is only the 2nd date. If you can't even put forth the effort for two dates, what happens later? By the 5th date is it Crocs and sweatpants? I mean, if I'm the better dressed person in a couple, we got problems! I looked good, I want somebody who is at least going to match my effort. Yeah..hmm..The other night when I went out with this guy I am on/off, the guy with the issues if you remember, I had this great dress on, lovely and feminine, showing some cleavage too which I rarely do, had my nails done, waxed in the morning, I looked the part and felt it! We went to the theatre and then for a coctail and the dinner and were having a gret time. I gave him compliments as usual, he did too. When we went back to mine we spent some time together then I was giving him the looks, lit up some candles...nothing. I thought I'll give this 10 min. Eventually I said I'll wear my nighty and we can watch telly and I was seriously turned off and we fell out too. It was around 11pm. And we hadn't had sex in a while. I honestly feel like making less effort now. I usually dress nice anyway but I just won't go the extra mile. Link to comment
Throwaway999 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 That's because most people are accessing the site through their phone which is why you probably see text style communication. I am one of the few people on this planet who access dating sites on my laptop. I even use complete words and sentences in my text messages, but I'm a wierdo. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 That's because most people are accessing the site through their phone which is why you probably see text style communication. I am one of the few people on this planet who access dating sites on my laptop. I really don't care too much about grammar and spelling itself, what I look at is content and the quality of response. I also look at language style, more than correct mechanics. Nobody edits on the internet... Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Yes, it is a turnoff for me, too, and I'm a dude. I just think the amount of care you put into how you present yourself with text in some ways reflects the amount of thought or care you would put into your real-life interactions. As well as your general intelligence level. Totes McGotes. Link to comment
milly007 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I even use complete words and sentences in my text messages, but I'm a wierdo. Lol - I do this too, and I get teased and accused of writing novels! I wouldn't have it any other way, though. I've tried short form, but it just doesn't feel right. The way a guy expresses himself in an email/text message can either increase or decrease my level of attraction towards him(since messages can reveal a lot about someone's personality). If a guy can write and banter with me back-and-forth = Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 That may have been a smart move on his part if he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know what he's doing. Being on the same page is important... Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 That may have been a smart move on his part I wish I could negative-rep that a million times. quirky should run screaming in the opposite direction. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I wish I could negative-rep that a million times. quirky should run screaming in the opposite direction. Oh, but I fully agree with you! That being said, we don't know who the on-again/off-again component is in this relationship. My general feelings about On-again/off-again is that the two people aren't quite compatible enough to get over their differences, and yet, not quite incompatible with each other to leave each other alone. Maybe Quirky just wanted a nice night that included the movies, dinner, drinks, and a nice sexual evening when they got to her place, but she doesn't exactly want a full relationship with him - that's perfectly acceptable!! If I was great friends with someone and we weren't long term compatible but we were great for each other short term, and we both had nobody else, I see nothing wrong with "well, we don't have anybody else so let's do it" sort of situations - I suppose you could call it mutual masturbation, because you're both getting and giving what each other wants, but you're just not having a full blown relationship. If Quirky is in that place with him, I wouldn't hate her for it for a second. Or if he's in that place with her. What I will say, though, is that if he recognizes he's just playing, or recognizes their reasons for not being a couple, and doesn't want to be a couple, but enjoys her company, not having sex with her was a very wise move on his part. They're on-again/off-again; having sex with such a person is not necessarily the best idea! Link to comment
Liraele Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I even use complete words and sentences in my text messages, but I'm a wierdo. Me too! I've typed super long emails on my phone, and while it's a pain in the butt...using a bunch of text speak would drive me crazier than the time spent typing an actual email that way would. Link to comment
John John Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hazlewood and Liraele, I'm the same way. My communication in online dating is always spot on. I try to make sure my grammar is perfect, I don't use "text lingo," and I also try to convey interest in some of the things they said in their profile. I'm another guy who is very much turned off by women who can't spell properly, who email me winners like "hi!" or who write messages that show they didn't even read my profile. Link to comment
missmarple Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Hazlewood and Liraele, I'm the same way. My communication in online dating is always spot on. I try to make sure my grammer is perfect, I don't use "text lingo," and I also try to convey interest in some of the things they said in their profile. I'm another guy who is very much turned off by women who can't spell properly In that case, make sure you spell grammar correctly Link to comment
John John Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 In that case, make sure you spell grammar correctly LOL I hate my work computer...my iMac at home autocorrects for me, and then I manually make sure everything is spelled correctly. That's what I get for not proofreading my post. OF COURSE I know how to spell "grammar" properly. Fixed! Link to comment
John John Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Here I am digging up this classic thread (I miss Thors - I need to text him lol) once again... because everyone on here knows how much MCJD just LOVES OLD 8) I can't stand it when someone messages you (more than once), and they seem super excited about you and wanting to meet up. This girl sends me a super genuine note, and based on her profile, we had a lot in common (both wanted something serious, both love animals, both are very family-oriented, etc.). I call her up and leave her a nice voicemail...and (as George Costanza says on "Seinfeld") bupkiss. What can ya do? I think a few others on here have said that OLD has sort of become a "virtual bar scene." It's completely lost its cool and novelty factors, and is now so much the norm that it's just very mundane (just like the bar/club scene). Maybe OLD will become so terrible that everyone will be forced to become a productive member of society by getting more involved their community/hobbies in the hopes that they'll also meet people? Then, maybe I can say that OLD isn't so bad after all! lol (Come to think of it, maybe I shouldn't have dug this thread up, as I'm probably due for another "You're doing it wrong" or "You need a new attitude/new values" attack. MCJD hides behind flame shield). Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Holy thread revival, batman!! Link to comment
Jeffbobo Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I broke up with the girl I'd been seeing for four months a couple weeks ago. Shortly after, I enabled my OLD profile again. I went through that for a couple days, recIeving/sending/replying to messages until on the second day I stepped back and said, what the heck am I doing? I then deleted my profile and said, screw OLD, at least for a while. I'm jumping back into the real life thing... I had another one of those grocery store incidents the other day where I'm kicking myself thinking, why didn't I pursue that a little further? I'm also in a lake swim group where we swim twice a week. There is a new girl in the group who has taken interest, making it a point to talk with me, wishing me luck in my upcoming events, etc. I say screw OLD, real life is much more fun! Link to comment
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