Online dating pet peeves

[deejay74]

I agree with you.

 

It's not sad that you feel that way. Online dating can be exhausting. I kind of equate it to looking for a job and sending out resumes.

 

I'm right there with you. I think I may take myself off the dating sites this weekend. I'm also not really ready to date either. I was kidding myself.

[John John]

I agree with you.

 

It's not sad that you feel that way. Online dating can be exhausting. I kind of equate it to looking for a job and sending out resumes.

 

I'm right there with you. I think I may take myself off the dating sites this weekend. I'm also not really ready to date either. I was kidding myself.

 

Yeah man, take it from me...you're not ready to date. Hell, it's been over a year for me, and even though I've kept up strict NC for over a year now (go MCJD!), I'm still not entirely sure I'm ready to date. I don't know if it's me not being entirely over my ex, or if I just haven't met my match yet.

 

I do know that I'm burnt out from online dating. The mere thought of going on another date kinda nauseates me.

[quirky]

I will join the quitting wagon soon too. I am talking with one guy at the moment and will see him if he asks but if not then I am outta there.

 

I don't think my prerequisites have become stricter, actually quite the opposite for me o_O I have become more flexible and realistic. But also a bit sad as to how difficult it is to find that conection on a few levels. Physical/emotional/intellectual. I am not very active and maybe that's why I am not jaded. I don't juggle many messages and whatnot, tends to be few but nicer ones. But I do feel a bit disappointed at the moment too.

[John John]

I don't think my prerequisites have become stricter, actually quite the opposite for me o_O I have become more flexible and realistic. But also a bit sad as to how difficult it is to find that conection on a few levels. Physical/emotional/intellectual. I am not very active and maybe that's why I am not jaded. I don't juggle many messages and whatnot, tends to be few but nicer ones. But I do feel a bit disappointed at the moment too.

 

Yeah I know what you mean. I don't actively try to juggle a lot of messages either...I mean, I've done that in the past...but right now, I'm all about finding a connection with someone special. But sometimes, I just feel like it's not gonna happen with online dating. It's too superficial, too competitive, too much of a fantasy world, and too skewed in womens' favor. I'm tired of having to deal with all of it. I'm about ready to throw my hands up and walk away.

[happpybear]

all of you guys need to just stop, it isn't fun anymore and you risk having those negative feelings/energy come accross on your dates too. Seriously, try link removed. JUST for the social stuff, just to get yourself out there--don't think about finding a date--just to meet new people. Who knows who you may meet, you could meet someone to date, or you could make some new friends who could set you up with someone that becomes your next SO. None of the pressure and weirdness on OLD. You never know what could happen.

[John John]

you're right, happpybear. I've been meaning to try meetup. I've just been stubborn, and I kept thinking "well, OLD worked for me in the past, and I have no trouble getting dates, it's only a matter of time before I meet someone I like who likes me back." But yeah, I'm burnt out. It's just akin to a horrible chore at this point.

[quirky]

You are right about meetup but to be honest I don't particularly want to meet lots new people as such at the moment. You just don't know whether someone is single even. And most things I am interested in are women's interests. I have been to meetups and noone is there to flirt, I have gone to intellectual discussion meetups, a social one in my area, one for Europeans and a group for Humanists too. Noone is there to flirt. And I find it hard meeting a million new people all the time, I need to be in the mood cos I prefer one to one..though I am good socially and an extrovert. I now see meetup more as networking, joinging groups that are about my work. I do see your point though.

[fifregister]

Oh stop being so defeatist all y'all. While NYC (and Washington, DC) are urined-filled dating pools of treachery and misery, there is STILL TIME to meet someone special/adequate/available/on parole in time for Valentine's Day.

 

Just relax, give yourself sometime to wallow, and date when you're ready. Don't force yourself to date when you're miserable and expect a crappy out come.

 

And even the best outcome is: you meet your soulmate, you marry, live happily ever after, then one of you dies and the other wills himself to stop breathing out of defeat and boredom. Fairy tales can happen to you!

[happpybear]

Oh stop being so defeatist all y'all. While NYC (and Washington, DC) are urined-filled dating pools of treachery and misery, there is STILL TIME to meet someone special/adequate/available/on parole in time for Valentine's Day.

 

Just relax, give yourself sometime to wallow, and date when you're ready. Don't force yourself to date when you're miserable and expect a crappy out come.

 

And even the best outcome is: you meet your soulmate, you marry, live happily ever after, then one of you dies and the other wills himself to stop breathing out of defeat and boredom. Fairy tales can happen to you!

 

omg too funny

[deejay74]

Oh stop being so defeatist all y'all. While NYC (and Washington, DC) are urined-filled dating pools of treachery and misery, there is STILL TIME to meet someone special/adequate/available/on parole in time for Valentine's Day.

 

Just relax, give yourself sometime to wallow, and date when you're ready. Don't force yourself to date when you're miserable and expect a crappy out come.

 

And even the best outcome is: you meet your soulmate, you marry, live happily ever after, then one of you dies and the other wills himself to stop breathing out of defeat and boredom. Fairy tales can happen to you!

 

LOL!

 

I'm glad you included DC in your description.

 

And screw Valentine's Day! I hated that holiday even when in a relationship. It's the most fabricated "holiday" of the year. This is a topic for another thread.

 

Just relax, give yourself sometime to wallow, and date when you're ready. Don't force yourself to date when you're miserable and expect a crappy out come.

 

That's what I am trying to do. I'm not trying to be defeatist.

 

I'm actually a member of a few link removed groups. I really only consistently go to 1 of them, that's because it's very close to where I live. I go there for the company and to socialize, not to meet other single women, although if there was a cute one that is interested in me, I wouldn't turn her away.

[fifregister]

I love Valentine's Day. Godiva has a massive half-off sale the day after, during which I buy in bulk and give them to my single girl friends.

 

Of course I keep the largest box to myself and gorge while sobbing during "27 Dresses."

[John John]

Fifregister needs to do stand up. She is literally laugh out loud rolling on the floor funny.

[happpybear]

You are right about meetup but to be honest I don't particularly want to meet lots new people as such at the moment. You just don't know whether someone is single even. And most things I am interested in are women's interests. I have been to meetups and noone is there to flirt, I have gone to intellectual discussion meetups, a social one in my area, one for Europeans and a group for Humanists too. Noone is there to flirt. And I find it hard meeting a million new people all the time, I need to be in the mood cos I prefer one to one..though I am good socially and an extrovert. I now see meetup more as networking, joinging groups that are about my work. I do see your point though.

 

mmmmm, excuses! lol, just look to expand you horizons. Don't go looking for a flirt, and you don't have to go to every event, just once a week if you want or whenever you feel like it. I am an introvert and mostly a homebody but I still went to one each week. Pick gender neutral stuff like book clubs, or fun adventure groups, rather than the girly stuff. That's my issue too, all I want to do is join the arts n' crafts meet-ups.

[chr8st8na]

Online dating has made me very jaded, to be honest. Well, that and living in NYC with all the super witches that are around. I'm kind of done with it for a while, I just can't be bothered at the moment. A cute girl gave me her number, and I have no desire to call her. How sad is that?

 

HAHA we are in the same boat... cute guy gave me his number 2 days ago and I have yet to call. Label me jaded (with a capital J)

 

But also a bit sad as to how difficult it is to find that conection on a few levels. Physical/emotional/intellectual.

 

There's my problem... hard to find all three in one. And with online dating platform, think it's a lot harder.

 

Well I think I might keep my profile up but not use it. I kind of enjoy the attention and when I get bored I can look at my inbox and see my accomplishment setting up a profile with no pictures LOL. Who knows? Maybe when I am 50 and single, these men will still be on there to welcome me back

[John John]

HAHA we are in the same boat... cute guy gave me his number 2 days ago and I have yet to call. Label me jaded (with a capital J)

 

I got her number Friday evening...so I'm sure if I even called her now, she wouldn't return my message because I took too long to call. I think because I'm so jaded with dating/OLD, I will rule even cute girls out if their messages aren't up to par. I wrote her pretty nice notes that nice, to the point, and conveyed interest in her profile. She didn't really do that, and then asked my nationality, which is clearly said in my profile. Then she gave me her number, but after that and her sub-par grammar, I just wasn't really that interested.

[chr8st8na]

I got her number Friday evening...so I'm sure if I even called her now, she wouldn't return my message because I took too long to call. I think because I'm so jaded with dating/OLD, I will rule even cute girls out if their messages aren't up to par. I wrote her pretty nice notes that nice, to the point, and conveyed interest in her profile. She didn't really do that, and then asked my nationality, which is clearly said in my profile. Then she gave me her number, but after that and her sub-par grammar, I just wasn't really that interested.

 

Yea i can't stand it when guys ask for pictures and when they like the pictures, they still dont read my profile! I don't know if it's because they think they read it already or because they are just like everyone else, killing time and being lazy on there.

[Liraele]

I got her number Friday evening...so I'm sure if I even called her now, she wouldn't return my message because I took too long to call. I think because I'm so jaded with dating/OLD, I will rule even cute girls out if their messages aren't up to par. I wrote her pretty nice notes that nice, to the point, and conveyed interest in her profile. She didn't really do that, and then asked my nationality, which is clearly said in my profile. Then she gave me her number, but after that and her sub-par grammar, I just wasn't really that interested.

 

Funny that you mention grammar...I thought that was mainly a turn-off for women. Glad to see that men have text/message standards, too!

 

I think if you take a step back and take a breather... and there are several of you that need this...you'll have a better shot at finding the real deal. Once you've hit the point of jaded, you might miss a good thing just because you've become overly cynical about the whole process.

[HeartGoesOn]

Please stay on topic, and avoid personal arguments.

[Lonewing]

I honestly believe in what I see, not what I hear. Yes, they may say they're stricter with online dating than in person, but I believe the reality is, they are indeed as strict in person as they are online but they're just not willing to admit it...yet. To admit it would be to admit to qualities we all fear recognizing in ourselves.

[Lonewing]

all of you guys need to just stop, it isn't fun anymore and you risk having those negative feelings/energy come accross on your dates too. Seriously, try link removed. JUST for the social stuff, just to get yourself out there--don't think about finding a date--just to meet new people. Who knows who you may meet, you could meet someone to date, or you could make some new friends who could set you up with someone that becomes your next SO. None of the pressure and weirdness on OLD. You never know what could happen.

 

Online dating does not create either the weirdness or the pressure. This is entirely a product of the people using it, which means regardless of where or how you meet, that pressure and weirdness will not be going away. Unless you're talking about those "found" relationships that happen when a girl just wakes up one day and realizes she likes the person she's been hanging out with for weeks and months at a time. Sorry, count me out of that one too. I want a girl who knows what she's getting into, what she wants, and what she's looking for without the "Surprise" relationship quality.

[chr8st8na]

I honestly believe in what I see, not what I hear. Yes, they may say they're stricter with online dating than in person, but I believe the reality is, they are indeed as strict in person as they are online but they're just not willing to admit it...yet. To admit it would be to admit to qualities we all fear recognizing in ourselves.

 

Not necessarily true... Looking back on sum of my exes who were not that goodlooking- and knowing they were bad in pics too, i wouldn't have prob given them the time if it was online.

 

In person, you can gradually fall for them esp if they have a great personality.

[Throwaway999]

I hadn't checked this thread for a while... I see it has turned from a "online dating pet peeves" thread to a "I'm sick of online dating" thread. Wow, glad I'm not the only one. I feel like I could have written half of these responses.

 

Online dating has made me very jaded, to be honest. Well, that and living in NYC with all the super witches that are around. I'm kind of done with it for a while, I just can't be bothered at the moment. A cute girl gave me her number, and I have no desire to call her. How sad is that?

 

Same here! I was just sitting there, thinking "I should call her" then a day goes by and if another day goes by it will be "too late" to call, and I'm thinking "If I really wanted to call her, it probably would have happened by now."

 

I was pretty picky, only messaged a handful of women and actually got responses from a few that were high on my list. But then after exchanging a few messages with them or meeting them, they just ain't it. And I'm thinking, "These were like my top choices"

 

But also a bit sad as to how difficult it is to find that conection on a few levels. Physical/emotional/intellectual.

 

Ugh, tell me about it. My most recent date, she was SO SMART and we connected on an intellectual level, and she was even kinda cute, but on the second date she showed up kind of... disheveled? I mean, not like she looked like a bag lady, but she just looked kind of frumpy. I was like, "She seems so smart, I don't want to be shallow" but then I was like, "It's not shallow to want a woman who knows how to put herself together a little." Especially if it is only the 2nd date. If you can't even put forth the effort for two dates, what happens later? By the 5th date is it Crocs and sweatpants? I mean, if I'm the better dressed person in a couple, we got problems! I looked good, I want somebody who is at least going to match my effort.

 

all of you guys need to just stop, it isn't fun anymore and you risk having those negative feelings/energy come accross on your dates too.

 

But yeah, I'm burnt out. It's just akin to a horrible chore at this point.

 

Yes and yes.

 

Oh stop being so defeatist all y'all. While NYC (and Washington, DC) are urined-filled dating pools of treachery and misery, there is STILL TIME to meet someone special/adequate/available/on parole in time for Valentine's Day.

 

Yeah, maybe it is Valentine's Day coming up that has upped the activity lately. But I turned off my profile. I have a bunch of stuff going on next weekend out in the real world, where I will either meet people in person, or not, but at least I'll be out doing stuff.

[reader]

all of you guys need to just stop, it isn't fun anymore and you risk having those negative feelings/energy come accross on your dates too. Seriously, try link removed. JUST for the social stuff, just to get yourself out there--don't think about finding a date--just to meet new people. Who knows who you may meet, you could meet someone to date, or you could make some new friends who could set you up with someone that becomes your next SO. None of the pressure and weirdness on OLD. You never know what could happen.

 

 

 

Plenty of Fish works very well for me

[reader]

Yea i can't stand it when guys ask for pictures and when they like the pictures, they still dont read my profile! I don't know if it's because they think they read it already or because they are just like everyone else, killing time and being lazy on there.

 

Women do the same thing. I have a list of goofy massage activities I like but most women only look at my picture and then when I say........."I hope my profile didn't turn you off" They don't send another message

[reader]

Funny that you mention grammar...I thought that was mainly a turn-off for women. Glad to see that men have text/message standards, too!

 

I think if you take a step back and take a breather... and there are several of you that need this...you'll have a better shot at finding the real deal. Once you've hit the point of jaded, you might miss a good thing just because you've become overly cynical about the whole process.

 

 

That's because most people are accessing the site through their phone which is why you probably see text style communication. I am one of the few people on this planet who access dating sites on my laptop.