Lonewing Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 My first ex had a picture of her mother on her wall, it was a big deal to her. I feel these sort of things you just have to understand and support. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I can understand THAT...but put on a dating site? I have a pic of me and my dad just days before he died. He was buying my house back (for me) that i lost thru a divorce..then ex was foreclosing on it! But i certainly wouldn't put THAT pic on a dating site! YIKES! Link to comment
Natasha24 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I was seeing a guy for about a month. We went out about 7 times, had a lot of fun, lots of laughs, etc. We had plans for one Saturday night, and he texted me saying that he couldn't make it because he was called in to work. I said no problem about the Saturday night, we should reschedule. I didn't hear anything for a while so I texted "Hey, is everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a week". I never heard from him again! It's been almost 3 weeks. I understand if he met someone else or lost interest in me or whatever - but at least tell me. Hell, even after ONE date with a guy, I let him know if I don't want to see him again. Ignoring someone is just so weird and immature. This guy is 35! What the hell? I'm tempted to call him and leave him a "What the f? Man up!" message on his machine but I don't want to waste any more time on him. (I suppose this isn't an "online dating" problem, but I did meet him through POF) Link to comment
potd2009 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 As we discussed a few days ago, different people have different opinions whether the "fadeout" is impolite after just one date, but after 7 dates/1 month, it is blindingly rude to vanish without a trace. Definitely agree with your weird and immature assessment. Sorry you had to deal with that. Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Yeah the fade out is pretty common, I'd say around half of guys do this if they lose interest during dating. The trick is to recognise when it's happening and not become desperately interested and clingy. Not that this gets them back! It just saves you expending anymore energy on someone who isn't interested. The ego guy - "I promise my pics are real ladies!" The irony is when the guy isn't even that attractive. Edit to add - Women may fade out too, I just don't have experience of that, I wasn't meaning to pick on the guys! Link to comment
happpybear Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 This has been a hugely entertaining read for me thanks all! I have never online dated so I can't share anything personally. Though a friend of mine did have an account where she got a message from this guy who looked like he was on steroids, holding a bunch of pink balloons. He said that he was "the balloon guy" and wanted to take her on a date and get balloons because he loved balloons (wha??). Another guy messaged her and his profile pic was of him and his mother, he sent her a rose and told her he wanted to marry her. She never responded and he kept messaging her despite that, for weeks. Hahaha so funny! Link to comment
happpybear Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 And to add, I don't think I could handle someone that lies about weight or height, or anything for that matter, in a profile. It just reeks of insecurity and lack of confidence, which I think is the real issue at the heart of it (attraction and values aside), the fact that they felt they had to lie which is really sad because they don't accept themselves. I really believe that there is someone out there for everything, regardless of your shape and color. I just wish everyone could learn to value themselves for who they are, and realize that who they are, at their core, is *enough*, and they don't have to focus so hard on changing themselves to fit into some ideal that is shaped by weird societal ideas of what is attractive. What constitutes attraction is so personal and different for everyone, there really is no ideal, when you really think about it. I have a friend is really large, she is super healthy though, just bad genes, she really struggled with accepting herself as a bigger girl until she went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Apparently, men down there like big booty, and she came back from that trip a changed woman. She always thought she had to look like me to get attention (I have a body like #1 in that pic a few pages bacK...the "stick figure" that some of you snerked about). Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 (I have a body like #1 in that pic a few pages bacK...the "stick figure" that some of you snerked about). Yeah, Yeah happybear...we know you're just braggin'!!! Link to comment
happpybear Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Yeah, Yeah happybear...we know you're just braggin'!!! Lol, ya it's hard...looking like a ballerina...*sigh* You know, its funny because, I think many woman erroneously think they have to look like that, because it's what men want, but in reality many people think that body type is too skinny. Believe me, thin-shaming is alive and well. I think as long as you are taking care of yourself and being healthy, then your body is what it is. You can't negotiate bone structure, or whether you are ecto/meso/endo-morph, anymore than you can negotiate your height. Just accept it, don't lie about it on a profile. i dunno. I'm kinda glad I don't online date...based on what i read here and what friends have told me, it kinda brings out the most uncouth sort of behaviour. Link to comment
happpybear Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I can understand THAT...but put on a dating site? I have a pic of me and my dad just days before he died. He was buying my house back (for me) that i lost thru a divorce..then ex was foreclosing on it! But i certainly wouldn't put THAT pic on a dating site! YIKES! ya I agree, that you should not have pics of the 'rents on your profile. Sweet Jesus...why do that lol? Just why? Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Yeah after a date or two if a guys just stops responding it's just a fade out and I move on after 2 months and 7 dates....that's just rude! I think I'm being stood up as I type. This nice guy lived in my city for a long time but moved out of town but comes back often. We were going to meet up on Saturday but he flaked on that. "SO SORRY!" right. Said he would call me tonight...and nothing. I'm guessing he's actually married. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 I think reading this thread brings out the weirdos form my inbox: "So I read ur profile and u seem very sweet... I will just get to the point. I will marry u....u will divorce me (not sure why since Im freaking awesome)....you will get everything (including ny heart)....but I want the english bulldog that we bought for the kids and named Thor! Hope we can chat." Not sure if I should laugh or be creeped out. "I will marry u" that's a little too much. lol Link to comment
John John Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Lol, ya it's hard...looking like a ballerina...*sigh* You know, its funny because, I think many woman erroneously think they have to look like that, because it's what men want, but in reality many people think that body type is too skinny. Believe me, thin-shaming is alive and well. I think as long as you are taking care of yourself and being healthy, then your body is what it is. You can't negotiate bone structure, or whether you are ecto/meso/endo-morph, anymore than you can negotiate your height. Just accept it, don't lie about it on a profile. i dunno. I'm kinda glad I don't online date...based on what i read here and what friends have told me, it kinda brings out the most uncouth sort of behaviour. You're not missing anything good, I will say. Online dating blows. But then again, I personally think dating blows in general. It's all games, you really can't be yourself early on. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Happybear...you and i realize that bodies come in all shapes and sizes...unfortunately, the guys think we should all come in YOUR shape and size! (you know...i just love these icons! Actually LoveSoDeep...i find his msg funny! I'm all about humor and of course he is kidding about Marriage! Just not the bulldog part! So do me a favor and email him back! He sounds fun. Heck, i emailed Sportster that we were gonna get married! I think he thought it was a little fast...since it was my first msg. But oh well....when ya know...ya just know...and love at first sight...and....OMG...it must be F-A-T-E Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Actually LoveSoDeep...i find his msg funny! I'm all about humor and of course he is kidding about Marriage! Just not the bulldog part! So do me a favor and email him back! He sounds fun. Heck, i emailed Sportster that we were gonna get married! I think he thought it was a little fast...since it was my first msg. But oh well....when ya know...ya just know...and love at first sight...and....OMG...it must be F-A-T-E If he didn't use u and ur as if they were actual words and his profile wasn't filled with other typos and terrible grammar....I might reply. I know from experience guys who don't want to bother to spell check aren't going to like me. Lol Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 "So I read ur profile and u seem very sweet... And you reply, "Can't stand a man who uses UR for you are......and U for you. Spelling and grammar is very important to me...blah, blah, blah..... He responds: O.K. scratch that. UR NOT VERY SWEET! lol (and we R NOT getting MARRIED! Edit: Is that, "IS important, or ARE important" ?? Apparently grammar isn't all that important to me! teehee Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 If he didn't use u and ur as if they were actual words and his profile wasn't filled with other typos and terrible grammar....I might reply. I know from experience guys who don't want to bother to spell check aren't going to like me. Lol Oh I totally hear ya on that one, I don't care if something is misspelled but I do care if a guy doesn't put effort in, he can at least capitalize, use commas, periods, question marks, and right click on words to spell check them, if he misses something, no big deal, but a complete lack of effort shows me that he's really not all that interested in putting effort into getting to know me. When I get a message that is full of typos, I normally picture the guy on the other end with his pants hanging down to his knees and his boxers hanging out, and I imagine future conversations with him not being very intelligent. Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 The ego guy - "I promise my pics are real ladies!" The irony is when the guy isn't even that attractive. Haha the ego guys crack me up! The one I see the most common is when they label their profile "The best you'll ever have!" and I'm thinking to myself, if your the best, why are you single? I also see "want to make your friends jealous? I'm your guy!" hahahaha, love it. Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 When I get a message that is full of typos, I normally picture the guy on the other end with his pants hanging down to his knees and his boxers hanging out This is brilliant! Haha! I'm going to end up doing this now. Link to comment
John John Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Haha the ego guys crack me up! The one I see the most common is when they label their profile "The best you'll ever have!" and I'm thinking to myself, if your the best, why are you single? I also see "want to make your friends jealous? I'm your guy!" hahahaha, love it. I will admit to sometimes using headlines similar to "best you'll ever get"...it's not so much that we have egos, but we're just trying to grab your attention. Have to stand out from the crowd Link to comment
Jennifer89 Posted August 12, 2013 Author Share Posted August 12, 2013 I will admit to sometimes using headlines similar to "best you'll ever get"...it's not so much that we have egos, but we're just trying to grab your attention. Have to stand out from the crowd Haha, I hate the headlines, I don't even remember what mine is... but FYI that doesn't really stand out, because so many guys put it as their headline! Link to comment
John John Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Yeah I suppose you're right about that! I have much more creative ones up now, obviously I won't reveal them here. I too hate the headlines field! It actually depends on the site I'm on. POF, to me, is a hookup sight, so my headline is something to the effect of "best you'll ever have," but more creative. For Match (which I use for legit dating), I use something more genuine and quirky. You have to know your target audience! Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 Match and pof had the exact same people in my area! In fact, i had WAAAY more scammers on Match than on pof. Towards the end of my 3 months on Match...that's what i did for entertainment...turned in the scammers! lol They were all the same....would take a woman up to age 60 ( and NO one in their 50's does that! ) Widowed. And made $150,000 +. I'd write to them and say, "you guys are all the same, can't you get creative?", then turn them in. Before i was able to spot them a mile away, I'd think, 'YAY a good-looking man.' Then i found out the truth! ugh Link to comment
Realitynut Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 POF is NOT a hookup site in my area, but then again, guys my age are all used up and are unable to 'hook' up!!! Link to comment
Lonewing Posted August 12, 2013 Share Posted August 12, 2013 They're all hookup sites depending on your area. It all goes back to that simple rule, "the problem is not the site, the problem is people." Link to comment
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