How Do You Feel Today?

[coco28]

I am 6 months in to my BU. relationship of 6 years. The NC thing is easy for me now, I have no desire to contact him, however I stalk his fb page everyday (it's completely private), I also stalk his friends FB pages just to get a glimpse....I feel pathetic doing it, but it has become an obsession

 

even tho I am on NC, I feel like by checking up on him i've kept him in my life everyday and not really moved on.

 

I am currently without a job, which makes it all the more tempting to have a look

 

My ex and I did not have any closure, and it still makes me sad that after spending 6 years together there is just nothing left...like i've never existed

[klin]

I'm feeling tired. Keeping very busy with work, friends and family.

 

Trying to keep him out of my head.

I know deep down he doesn't deserve me but I still miss him.

 

Even if he ever wanted me back and thought this was all a mistake, he wouldn't have the balls to say so.

 

who wants a man with no balls?

 

not me

 

ha

 

Oh man. Totally how I have been thinking...but I do also want a man with no balls because he was my man with no balls and I still love him. What a cycle.

[Limiya]

I am 6 months in to my BU. relationship of 6 years. The NC thing is easy for me now, I have no desire to contact him, however I stalk his fb page everyday (it's completely private), I also stalk his friends FB pages just to get a glimpse....I feel pathetic doing it, but it has become an obsession

 

even tho I am on NC, I feel like by checking up on him i've kept him in my life everyday and not really moved on.

 

I am currently without a job, which makes it all the more tempting to have a look

 

My ex and I did not have any closure, and it still makes me sad that after spending 6 years together there is just nothing left...like i've never existed

 

Coco,

I understand you completely. My relationship was 6 years too. I had no closure at all either. I didn't even get told the truth as to why the breakup happened. I had to answer my own questions and find the truth out for myself. It wasn't pretty at all.

DON'T use Facebook to stalk your ex or his friends, it really won't help you. It will hinder your healing. TRUST ME!

I'm lucky my ex doesn't use Facebook, but his friends do, and i unfriended them immediately. Also his band has a page and post updated constantly with pictures, so i had to unlike that too. I keep as far away from any updates relating to him as possible, i can't deal with the stabbing pain when i even hear his name, so no way will i risk it.

Try deleting him, blocking him, whatever it takes. It's your benefit, not his. Think of yourself.

 

I know you don't have a job, but focus as much attention and energy on finding one. Make that your focus if you can, as much as possible. Join some clubs, do some classes, spend as much time out the house as you can, as it helps you move forward.

 

I feel like i never existed too. It's painful and just a very negative mindset and makes me feel worthless. However, we are not. Our exes were the ones that were cowards, we should try and be grateful every day that we don't have to put up with someone who does not value or respect us.

 

Limiya

[Ditta]

Today I'm feeling go f yourself to ex.

He's moving into his new flat which just makes it all more final.

He hasn't took a step back to think about anything and just rushed into a new place so soon.

 

so I feel sod him if he's going to be like that.

If he don't care about me, why should I care about him.

 

Its a good attitude. I just hope it sticks!

[chamachama]

I feel a tad frustrated after last nights stupidity fest 2012.

 

I would really like to find a proper fwb. I'm not ready for a serious relationship. So I want a strictly non committal fwb where we are both free to continue our search for "the one" while still satisfying the hunger to release our goods via means other than ourselves.

 

That is all.

 

Chama

[JohnGalt]

I feel like I am numb. I love my ex and want her back, but it is irrational. I actually don't feel any love toward her. Just resentment that she would end things after all we have been through. I guess that's her right,

 

Last night did you slay or did she cop feelings after?

[chamachama]

 

Last night did you slay or did she cop feelings after?

 

See my thread summing up last nights slaying

 

 

[JohnGalt]

Felt good last night. Hung out with another girl, had fun. Didn't think about my ex much. Slept like a baby throughout the night. Woke up this morning wanting my ex back. 1 step forward 2 steps backwards.

[CupidMissedMe]

Victorious! Went out with the girls for the weekend... had oodles of fun, feeling like a girl again with cute guys checking us out! Your loss!

[C_Unknown2005]

Blocked my ex on gmail and facebook. Saw a pic by accident of her and hernew boyfriend and that pretty much flip the switch. It sucks but I have been here before... I know what I must do and I will continue to keep moving alone.

 

Grrr

 

End of vent.

[chamachama]

Defriend ex

[maggieMAE]

Blocked my ex on gmail and facebook. Saw a pic by accident of her and hernew boyfriend and that pretty much flip the switch. It sucks but I have been here before... I know what I must do and I will continue to keep moving alone.

 

Oy, no good. Hang in there.

 

 

Today, I feel torn. I'm doing good and feeling happy, but there's this ever-present feeling of dread as well. I've been ignoring it for the most part, but I just miss her. I keep seeing hilarious things we'd laugh about, or something that'll remind me of an inside joke. I miss her as a person and friend, and I know no matter what I'll never see the person again because she doesn't exist. Oh well. Took the dog for a long walk and finished up a ton of homework. Now it's beer time. I just wish I had someone to laugh with as much as I did with her.

[zep]

I feel sad. I went on a date last night with the guy I met on Halloween and was not into him at all. He was boring, he was too grabby and forward, and by the end I just wasn't attracted at all. I miss my old life. I know in my heart he was not a good match for me, that him and I aren't on the same timeline, and that I will find someone new and better for me. I just want to fast forward through this time. I just wish I had kept up with the NC so I wouldn't be back to day 1. It's been 6 weeks since our breakup. Imagine if I had been good about not contacting him I could feel better by now! I will not contact him until after new years, and I will start 2013 feeling good. That is what is going to happen.

 

I left work early today to go to the Dr. and have had way to much time to think. Note: Get back on my "keeping super busy" schedule.

[coco28]

Hi Limiya,

 

Thank you so much for your reply. I forgot to say that a few weeks ago his younger sister (she is 13) send me a friend request. She had send one 2 month prior to that one and back then i didn't accept. This time I felt guilty, I was close with his parents and never said goodbey to them. with his sister I was really close, I was like her idol, so I felt guilty and accepted her this time. after a few days she send me a pm saying: that she has not seen me in a really long time and if we could go shopping one time......

 

 

I replied saying it was very nice hearing from her, and that i was busy coming weeks, but it would be great to go shopping (i actually hoped she would forget about it after a few weeks)

 

She then send me another message asking for my number. for me that was a bit too much, so i didn't respond. after this i kept having a look at her page, along with my exe's and his friends.

 

yesterday I thought to myself what the hell am I doing? I am only hurting my self, every time i click on his page and the page is loading my heart skips a beat, afraid of seeing his profile pic...with a girl....

 

 

as of yesterday I have deleted his sister and blocked her and him and deactivated my account....I think this is for the best. Today I feel a bit restless.....

 

 

I guess i'm still sad, he was my first love, and the lack of respect I got in the end still hurts

[Guitarguy_82]

Not feeling all that great...or proud.

 

Yesterday was the ex's birthday. We've been broken up for almost a year and barely dated for more than 3 months...so I know I've still got issues with being hung up on her...

 

Anyway, her birthday last year was a great day, and there were many good memories attached to it..

 

 

And they today...I sink a little bit and start looking her up. Passively, at least. I didn't directly contact her (not that I would) but I was getting close to "finding" her on FB and whatnot...

 

Just feel like crap again.

 

And I'm going back home here in a few weeks after being gone for 4 months and I'm sure the feelings of "revisiting the scene of the crime" of our breakup will come flooding back.

 

Blah

[Tom1990]

Interesting thought about "revisiting the scene of the crime." I left work due to performance issues, exacerbated by working with an ex who insisted on no contact.

 

I imagined myself on my last day, to revisit the site of me and her first kiss, but at the end of the day I was tired, my bag weighted down with personal items, and I just went home.

 

It's been two days. I'm still haunted by how she looked on my last day, so cute and dressed up. She always dressed so frumpy when she was with me. I feel terrible right now. But I also feel like we just finally broke up.

 

Fortunately I see my therapist today. It should be interesting.

[C_Unknown2005]

Been a rough week. I feel bent out of shape had a lady friend come over the other night and things got heated sexually. No sex (Even though it could have) and it just felt like it wasn't meant to be didn't feel right and now I'm keeping my distance from her.

 

Just very confused right now.

 

C

[JohnGalt]

I feel so weird today. Today is just going to be one of those days. Today would have been me and my ex's 2.5 year anniversary. Today is the day I had planned on proposing to her. We almost always did big things for the six month anniversary mark. I miss her terribly today.I thouhgt last night would be bad in terms of trying to sleep, but I slept like a baby. Unfortunately, this morning, I miss her and want to ask her to marry me. I won't. It will take all the resolve I have not to contact her today, but I wwon't.

 

I hope though that she is thinking about me. if there's any day where should would stop and reflect on what we had, it would be today. Perhaps she will come to her senses and reach out to me. Not likely, but a guy can hope.

[C_Unknown2005]

Going home to my old college grounds tonight. More than likely my ex will be at the bar we all used to hang out at with mutual friends. I can do this. The song that I describe myself right now is "smile" by Nat king Cole. Yes, I am old fashion and yes I am a romantic. At the end of the day it takes too much energy to hate / block / think about someone that wanted out of your life. Better to face the truth "With that's life" phrase and just be the person you are.

 

I've been in a very dark hole since I found out she left me for someone else... Been thinking about every emotion, every good memory, every bad memory, regrets, Past relationships.. And I have come to realized a lot of things.

 

This was the first relationship that felt "mature", it ended with the cord cut and only one phone call a month after the break up. It taught me that when you love someone and have up most respect for yourself and the relationship letting go and feeling the heart break is the best thing to do. Almost 3 months now and "if" she did come back I am not the same man she dated. I am not the same man that discovered love again with her. In fact It wouldn't work out if she did come back because I never took the time to see the red flags she was waving. Love is a funny thing if you allow it to block the logical parts.

 

 

How do I feel today? I feel proud of myself for being a great man to her. I feel proud that I will be a great man to someone else in the future.

 

 

C

[chamachama]

 

 

How do I feel today? I feel proud of myself for being a great man to her. I feel proud that I will be a great man to someone else in the future.

 

 

C

 

right on man

[coco28]

I feel stuck in the healing process. It's been 6 months now of absolutely NC. The last 3 months i've been stalking online everyday. I know it's not healthy and I deactivated my fb account yesterday.

 

I find it hard to shift my thoughts. I think of my life with him as a past life, but I still think of him everyday...sometimes I do wonder if I will ever overcome this. he was a huge part of my life and us not being together is probably the best thing for me but it doesn't always feel that way

[klin]

I'm feeling like I'm tired of this large boyfriend-shaped hole in my heart. I know it's over, but I don't want it to be. I miss him so much. I wish this made more sense and was easier to accept.

[JohnGalt]

I managed to go the entire day without contacting her. Hurt like hell. Even thought about her while watching James Bond.

[sublimek2]

I know know my emotions will probably keep changing as I move ahead, but as of now, I feel pretty good at this moment. Just saw "Skyfall" and now preoccupying my time with some study time.

[Casignal]

Determined to get out there and enjoy the day. I've spent all this year having my heart broken and enough is enough. This is the longest we've had no contact, and honestly, it's better this way. Each day it WILL get easier.

 

So I'm meeting friends for lunch, another friend for coffee, and planning on spending the afternoon taking photos. I want there to be some good memories from this year. And tomorrow, I will have hopefully let go a little more...

 

 

'Also, the sun rises'