sensitivegal Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Doing better. I jump to conclusions and freak out when I get scared. I know I can't have contact for a while, and I just have to learn to cope in healthier ways.... I went for a 7 mile hike yesterday, going to make that a weekly thing besides gym time. I have to keep focusing on me and where I want to be in life, instead of worrying about someone all day. I know if it's meant to be it will happen, and if not I will have to keep moving on. I miss him every day. What he's dealing with in his life is NOT about ME. I am awesome and we are not together because of what he has to deal with. I have no reason not to believe him. so much better to vent on here than obsess over it... Link to comment
Mike80 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 Not so bad! yeah. Same. Still a bit lonely. But I just made a delicious protein shake and now Im off to the gym to burn another 500+ calories today. If theres one bright side to being single, its definitely being able to focus squarely on yourself and the ability to regain your confidence once you get out of the doldrums. Im think Im gonna hit up the strip club tonight and enjoy being an eligible bachelor for once! Link to comment
Mike80 Posted March 1, 2013 Share Posted March 1, 2013 I check out his instagram I just have to stay strong and continue to have no contact. Checking any social media site to light-stalk an ex is violating the NC rule, doll. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook....they are pure evil. Personally when my ex called it quits to be with another man, I made a conscious decision to stay away from all those sites. Checking up on them just makes the breakup even more difficult and it prolongs the agony. Stay strong hon. And try to stay away from InstaSatangram! Link to comment
einsteins_girl Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I'm so frustrated. I hurt my back, so I can't go to the gym like I normally would, and it's just pissing me off. Probably more than it should. But it's my outlet, and I can't go, and UGH. /rant Link to comment
Heartbreakcity Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Feeling good today! It doesn't seem to hurt so much today, I know another wave of sadness will hit me soon but for now I am enjoying the good days while they are here Link to comment
gardnergirl2 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Feeling better today. Have little things that happen tht bring it back. Have moments in every day tht I hurt. Link to comment
gardnergirl2 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Not good, I keep thinking about her and him together and I feel so ****ing sick. Can anyone tell me how to stop these thoughts? Sometimes, they stop and then other times I can't stop. But a good thing is that it doesn't hurt as much as it did a few days ago. I keep thinking how easy it has been for her, it's not fair. The only thing I can tell you is the thought of him and her together hurts less with time. Now, I know that my ex is seeing her bad side too and maybe, just maybe thinking....well, I didn't have it as bad as I thought. .,... Maybe not. But it does get better with Time. Link to comment
The Bozz Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 Hey guys, it's been a while. I've been going through a rough spot, so I decided to come here and vent out a bit. So, it's been more than 4 months since my breakup, about 2 and a half of total NC. There's been a lot of changes in my life recently: my sisters moved in with me, so I'm not longer alone; I quit my job to concentrate on my last semester of uni; we got a cat to keep us company; I've managed to keep busy by starting some personal projects. Things are looking up. Except I feel like crap anyway. With time, I've come to realize that my ex was a terrible girlfriend, and an even worse friend, at that... but she never did me harm on purpose. It was just immaturity on her part, with some pride on the side. She wanted to be right, she was afraid of facing the truth even though all the signs were there. She was afraid of telling *me* the truth. She ran away after we fought because she couldn't face herself, she invented excuses to break up to try and make us both feel better, but that only made things worse for me. She tried to fix things later on, but her selfishness and shortsightedness botched that attempt by making her unable to see how I felt and why I was so angry in the first place. I won't lie, I'm still angry at her because her selfishness and immaturity hurt me a lot. She did some awful things to me, some of them haunt me until today and I even get nightmares from time to time... but those feelings of anger and entitlement are fading away by the second and I just feel sad. I can't stay angry at someone who didn't know any better. It may sound corny, but I feel like there's a hole in my heart that only she can fill. After all this time, after feeling so betrayed and hurt, I still miss her so bad. I can't even look at other girls, because I don't want them. I want *her*, I'm not over our relationship yet. I've even thought about calling her. I won't do it, I know it's a terrible idea. I don't even know how I would react... there are days where I would break down and cry and beg her to come back, in others I would yell at her, berate her and humiliate her in public. That's assuming she would even listen to me, I don't even know how she would feel about talking to me. She's made no attempts at contacting me, but the last time we talked I made it very clear that talking to her was only doing me harm, and that I needed her to stop. I feel like I closed and locked the door between us, my brain tells me it was the right thing to do but my heart wants to get a crowbar and break the lock, although I'm not sure it's for the right reasons. In the end, there's one thing I know for certain: I couldn't stand being hurt like that by her again. Even if it wasn't on purpose, it was too much for me. I need her to mature, to understand how a relationship or friendship or whatever implies a responsibility to the other part because you have power over their feelings. TL;DR: after 4 months I miss my ex like crazy, but I'm not sure if what I want is vindication for my anger or if I really want her back. It's really frustrating and scary. Link to comment
sensitivegal Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 I think I needed to see something to make me stop thinking about him so much. I put him on a pedestal because he gave me all the attention I had been wanting, and had to find a reason to knock him off. I found a reason. I got back my book he had yesterday. Had him meet me so I could give him back some stuff, because I think of him when I see it. It was a good meeting, I'm doing really well, working out a lot and feeling good and he noticed. Him, not so much. Now I need to go full no contact, no looking for him or the girl I know he's talking to on the internet (or InstaSatanGram...lol). Back to no texting. On my way to moving on....hopefully. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.