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Guitarguy_82

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About Guitarguy_82

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    Bronze Member
  • Birthday 02/02/1982
  1. Thanks everyone for the replies thus far. Really helped me open my eyes to the reality of what we're dealing with. As for enabling, I would unfortunately have to agree that I'm guilty of that somewhat. I think when we had to scramble and downsize from the house to this current rental, I knew I was going to have to help them out for that transition. Storage units, moving cots, as well as the actual physical move, etc. Those were individual events which I thought were needed at the time. As for the monthly rent and bills, up until sister 2 lost her job, it was just her and Mom paying for
  2. So, I'll try to get right to it. Currently I (oldest sibling) am helping my Mom (In her 60's) and my 3 younger siblings with a housing situation in which they are renting a 3 bedroom house. Mom and I are the primary co-signers on the lease, with my credit and financial history being the main reason they were able to get the rental. I have my own apartment across town, and am able to suppprt myself for now with my job in the software realm. Mom has had issues with bankruptcies in the past with her late husband (my step-dad who passed about 3 years ago), and they ultimately lost their ho
  3. Hi all, So basically my question boils down to how I can be more focused when it comes to my studies. I guess this could apply to anyone who deals with the internet and the vast amount of information and click bait out there. I'm trying to put in the time to become a software developer and I find that I am highly distracted by all the info out there. One minute I'm trying to work on my javascript algorithms course (which is probably my main focus, or rather, should be), and the next minute I'm falling down the wikipedia rabbit hole on the history of linux. Or maybe I see a neat article
  4. Hey thanks for the replies so far, I guess I should expand on the situation a bit more just for context. Apologies for the long reply: Ok good question, so basically neither was thrown out necessarily. Military friend was only in town for a short period of time to begin with. Brother, when he saw the kissing incident, I guess had a bad reaction to it all. I guess it was something he was suspicious of for a while ever since military friend came into town. For some context, the military friend is someone he's known for a long time...and seeing this guy try to kiss our sister...well I can
  5. So, long story short, Me, oldest of 5, living on my own, might be hosting my younger brother (22) who was living with our mom. Middle (28) and youngest sister (17) also lives there with mom. There was an incident the other weekend with one of his friends who is in the military and was visiting. Military friend was caught trying to kiss our youngest sister and when brother saw this he flipped out (which I can't say I necessarily blame him for). Things got heated, words were said (by all parties), and point is that there was an environment where he felt that the best decision was to leave th
  6. Saw an old photo of you ever so briefly after finding an old camera in a box I was moving around. Looked for a fraction of a second and it immediately took me back to that place. Things were so good back in that moment in time when that picture was taken. It was all new, fresh, fun. I immediately turned the camera off, removed the batteries, and stuffed it in a drawer. Maybe I'll find it again in a year...but hopefully not repeat that mistake. For a moment, I cringed and wanted to reach out. It's been 8+ months since we last spoke. Obviously I miss you. Clearly I still have deep feelings for y
  7. Can't sleep at all (mind is going a million miles an hour) so I might as well do something productive. Don't really have any main issue or topic for this post, just wanted to write a bit. I had a bit of an epiphany recently and it helped remind me that there are twists and turns on the road of recovery. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes at some point. To err is human, right? So, I had an incredibly embarrassing event happen this last weekend at my family's house and it put me in such a mental tailspin that I think it was just the motivation I needed to get back on track and stay f
  8. Hey all, sorry for the delay on this but work and life has taken up most if not all my time. A few updates though. Her car is a 2015 (valued at ~$5-6k in normal condition), note is $9k, she's paid $1k to date, she does not have GAP insurance, and she is 100% sure her insurance will total the car according to her. She pays ~$190/mo on the note. $60/mo for basic liability. So far we have decided that buying a beater is a good path, and she's found a few on FB marketplace so far in the $500 to $1000 range. Still looking for the best deal, and we want to have it taken to a mechanic & t
  9. Good Idea. Hadn't thought of that either. Will research and see what I can find. I know there's a few places that will sell cars like that around town. All good questions, and I need to find out the answers to them first. Not precisely sure what her insurance situation is regarding this or if an adjuster has seen it yet. The car is relatively new, I would say less than 3 or 4 years old, and she's been paying on it for the last 2 years I would say. Hmm I will need to do some more research and see what we can work out. I text her last night saying we should talk first and she has ye
  10. Right I'm trying to be cautious here. The first thing I would need to do is have a heart to heart about finances and where she's at and how committed she is to this idea. She has helped out our parents in the past and she says that that is what hurt her credit. I did the opposite throughout the years and tried to have as little tied to my family financially as possible aside from straight cash to help with bills, etc. My parents weren't exactly good stewards of long term monies, but that is beside the point right now. Hadn't thought of the rental idea yet. I have the cushion for my own repair,
  11. Been a while since I've been on here but this is the only forum I ever really frequent so I'll just get to it. My sister recently had an incident with her vehicle where apparently she was driving at night in a dimly lit part of the highway and ran over some concrete from some type of construction nearby. The front end of her little Fiat 500 was badly damaged and the car is undrivable now. Estimates so far have been in the $2-2.5k region from 2 different places according to her. She basically is asking me to help her cosign a loan with the mechanic's shop (which she says is common for them) and
  12. She wanted to be in a non-monogamous relationship. I was not interested in that. The particular kink being discussed doesn't necessarily involve sex, but can at times. I wasn't specifically seeking multiple sexual partners with the intent of having group sex at all. The way she approached it in that group chat (which I have left) indicated she was trying to manufacture sexual partners into it as well as the non-sexual part. I see what you are saying though. On one hand is the remnants of the relationship, and her subsequent telling me how she missed me, and on the other hand is the kink an
  13. Perhaps cake isn't the right analogy. My bad on that. I guess the only difference was I wasn't running to her to tell her how much I missed her and was wanting her in my life with tears in my eyes. We had decided to split, so at that point we are free to pursue our own interests. She voluntarily asked me to see her so that she could tell me these things. I feel like that implies there's some emotion there. So to use that emotion on one hand and then do this feels like a contradictory thing I suppose. I don't know, maybe I'm not approaching this (whatever this is) correctly. Sure, I was ex
  14. Surprised, no. I sort of knew she was involved with a poly couple. We dated for 2 years, and then off an on for a year. We had been back and forth these last few weeks with waning interest from both parties, but we would still talk and get together now and then. We were just trying to be comfortable being friends. We broke up initially because we wanted different things. As I mentioned yes in the right capacity and context this would have been an activity I would have wanted to do with her. So yeah as her former love interest there's absolutely some jealousy involved. I feel that's only na
  15. Right, I'm trying to avoid all that. Like I mentioned this was really a "wrong place at the right time" type situation. I hadn't been in the chat long, and didn't plan to stay, but then I see her and what happened...and it was just a bit surreal. I don't know if I'm being a creepy stalker, I just happened to see what I saw at the time. It was a whirlwind of activity in a short time span. I don't plan on confronting her in the sense of "Why are you doing this to me and you are a horrible person because of it". That wouldn't make sense. As stated we have the same kink so its not like this is
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