chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Yet another example of "I should have de-friended her/him first". Sorry C. Next time though.....Facebook? CLICK! defriend. Then no bump in the road... Now at least you wont be bothered to think about her as much. More healing for you! Link to comment
Ditta Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'm feeling tired. Keeping very busy with work, friends and family. Trying to keep him out of my head. I know deep down he doesn't deserve me but I still miss him. Even if he ever wanted me back and thought this was all a mistake, he wouldn't have the balls to say so. who wants a man with no balls? not me ha Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I feel like a chamachama Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Feeling Good! This baaaaddddd girl just expressed some interest in me. Too soon, but damn. My ex was on fire in the looks department and this girl is too. It just feels good knowing that other beautiful woman (not to sound like a male dog, but 8's 9s) are out there and interested. The one thing that keeps going through my mind is how beautiful my ex is, but this girl will make me forget about my ex quick. This other girl also has it going on in all different departments. I mean for real, I might have to say screw the healing and get to know this girl . . . we'll see. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Haha nice John!!! Feels good doesn't it? Look, its NOT going to wipe away the breakup blues but it WILL help you build back up some of that pride and self worth. Just try not to take it too seriously and have fun with her that's all. Get to know her??? Hmmmm in certain FUN ways? YES! Just have fun. That's the key word. And DO NOT mention your ex to her too many times. Its a mistake we all make and its a sure fire way to put a stop fun dead in its tracks. See?! There IS life after BU! Really great to read that man=) Link to comment
Slow Club Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Just exchanged a few a more texts with my ex. She still doesn't want to be friends again. It's annoying that I need that confirmation every so often, I know I need to get to a point where I don't need that confirmation. She said she has a new 'man'. I think she said that to try and hurt me but I just laughed. And then I got a bit emotional and sent a really long text back saying that I don't understand how she could leave all by myself and not care. I'm better now but I think it might be time a get another girl so she can distract my stupid little head. Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 So much effort just to get outta bed. I need me a new distraction, in the form of a hot man haha. But I know how it'd end up going. I'd be cuddling them n feeling like sh. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 --------------------------- I need me a new distraction, in the form of a hot man haha. Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Isnt that what you advocate after all? Fake it until ya make it . Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Haha I was just implying that you got my attention posting such things=P Link to comment
littleworld Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I still feel down about being left. He text me today... my stomach fluttered as soon as I knew it was him. He apologised for leaving... I thought this ment he was going to take me back. Instead he asked if we could stay friends. I stupidly thought about it... and now all I can think is would u keep a pet dog if it died??? Ermmm no. I'm hurting yes. Not as bad as yesterday but it's still very raw. I'm determined to get better but it's extremely hard. Im going to be unbreakable one day. And I can assure you I won't ever let anyone into my life like I let him. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Sorry littleworld, try to do new healthy activities to get your mind off things. Go to the gym, indoor rock climbing, see if there are any group hikes going on.....Also go no contact, de-friend him, delete all messages, get rid of all photos...you will then be on your way to being unbreakable Link to comment
MasterPo Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I am tired. Haven't slept well, some kind of stress I gather. Grabbing sleep every so often, 30 minutes seems to be the maximum but not quite enough. Not thinking of her. A good thing or if I do, a strange sense of loathing comes over me. I hope that is healing in progress. Blew a major job opportunity. Happy and sad. Could've used the money but I don't want to move. Go figure. Have my list. Gonna knock it out and go visit the cute clerk down the road. Why not eh? Ugh I'm tired. Link to comment
Limiya Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Feeling tired today. Went dancing last night until late with friends. Saw some friends i haven't seen in many months. Was really good to see them. Barely thought of my ex all evening. I got home and was so tired i passed out quite quickly. This morning he was on my mind again when i woke up, then when i got into work too. Mornings seem to be worse for me. I'm ok though. Not as bad to the extent i want to cry, but i still feel than sting on and off throughout the day. Limiya Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Glad you had a nice night out dancing Limiya=) Mornings...yup she was on my mind for a moment or two. But since I've erased her reminders from my life she is not as vivid. Actually, my first thoughts of her this morning were more like a quick daydream of her suddenly texting me and me replying "unlike you, ill have the decency to reply to your text by simply saying..No. Go away. I've been kicked around enough in my life and I don't need anymore pain. Thanks though. Enjoy your life." But that's about it. I'm so sore from last nights workout that its hard to think about anything else but my bruises anyway lol Link to comment
Limiya Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Chamachama - You're right about the visions not being as vivid as they were at first. And my low points are not as low or as sharp. Removing myself from that inner circle of people and reminders does help. I don't even want to tell him how i am, or what i'm doing or how i feel about his betrayal. I don't see the point. And that mindset helps me too. Trying to look on the bright side of things. Doing new things and trying new experiences. I'm glad you worked out good and proper. The bruises and muscles hurt, but it's a GOOD hurt. I'll be feeling that tomorrow as i'll be working out tonight (abs and legs) and i'll be horse riding on Saturday (first time in 3 years) so i'm looking forward to that physical pain Limiya Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Wow Limiya, you really sound like you're handling this BU superbly=) Of course there is always pain and we miss them but the trajectory we choose from here is up to us. And doing new things and meeting new people is a great path to take. Also, helping people is a great way to help fill the void that was left behind by our ex's as well. I've been sort of going back and forth with a friend of mine who works to help homeless veterans in the area. But the hours seem to not jive with my schedule. So I just got some info on mentoring or helping out with inner city kids so I'll be seeing if that fits a bit better. But I think just the simple act of looking around and checking these ways of helping others out actually helps me out as well. For instance, the above paragraph has little to do with her, everything to do with me and my present life....not my past with her... I haven't rode a horse in ages. But you would be surprised! This NYC boy (from around there originally) can ride like the wind haha.....My good friend was equine studies in my undergrad school and she would take us riding on our own all the time. I was like freaking young guns on those things!=P Sounds like fun!=) Also, picturing you riding a horse now.... That's right!.... I have a healthy male mind and I am not afraid to use it. Chama Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 I had a good time last night watching basketball with friends. But last night was the worst. I had several dreams about my ex -- vivid ones where we were back together. This is day 5 of no contact for me. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Hang in there John! You can do this man. So what's the deal with the new girl?? Any news? Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Nah, no news as of yet. I don't feel i'm quite ready to go back to slaying dragons. How long are you into the breakup process, chamachama? I'm in the middle of week 2 right now. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I'm at about 3.5 months or so since BU I think? Or close to that. But I stupidly postponed some of my healing process by keeping her friended on a smart phone game app that we both played. It had a profile pic of her and allowed me to know when she was online or not. And believe it or not, that was enough to slow down my healing process considerably. Ever since I de-friended her on that app and blocked her, I have been healing at a much faster pace (I think). I also deleted all her text messages and emails etc... It helped so much. I have a dragon coming over for the first time tonight actually. And this dragon knows exactly what my intentions are. Should be fun and a much needed release for me. Can't wait. I am curious to see if I will go through with it or not. It may end up being me not attracted to her like the others. We'll see though! Link to comment
JohnGalt Posted October 31, 2012 Author Share Posted October 31, 2012 Do you think posting at enotalone helps healing or delays it? I come here when I'm feeling particularly anxious and want to reach out to my ex. It helps to calm me down, but I find that I spend a couple of hours on here each day. I don't know if that's healthy. Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Do you think posting at enotalone helps healing or delays it? I come here when I'm feeling particularly anxious and want to reach out to my ex. It helps to calm me down, but I find that I spend a couple of hours on here each day. I don't know if that's healthy. YES it is very helpful to post your feelings and thoughts on here. You get to vent about things and talk about your BU and get real feedback that is apart from family and friends which can actually be sort of bias since they want more than anything for you to be happy.....sometimes that works against you and simply is not reality. Here you will get straight up in your face feedback that is coming from people who have been there or are there themselves. Also you get to return the favor by helping others on here get through their stuff which helps a lot as well (at least with me it does). Another thing this helps is your relationships with your RL friends. There is only so much gloom and doom people can take even from friends. Here you can gloom and doom it right up and you don't risk your friends feeling the effects.... Its is all good here. I see nothing at all bad about it. Link to comment
Limiya Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Cool, a fellow rider. Impressed, and from the city too. Even better. Yeah it's been a while for me so i'll be a bit rusty, but you never forget once you know. Like riding a bike (not quite) i guess. You think about it as much as you like. Nothing wrong with a healthy male mind. USE IT I think voluntary work is brilliant. I did some voluntary singing in a theatre play the past 3 weeks and i enjoyed it so much. It really did help take my mind off things. All these activities we do helps immensely. Yes i still think of my ex every single day, i still miss him, it still hurts, however i refuse to sit in the apartment all day and night crying over him. He doesn't deserve it. I deserve fun now, and so do you. Limiya Link to comment
chamachama Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 Nothing wrong with a healthy male mind. USE IT Careful now...it's a small pond=P Yes i still think of my ex every single day, i still miss him, it still hurts, however i refuse to sit in the apartment all day and night crying over him. He doesn't deserve it. I deserve fun now, and so do you. Limiya THIS ^^ is how you start healing from a BU folks. Right on Limiya=) You sing??? Chama Link to comment
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