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Everything posted by Guitarguy_82

  1. Thanks for the input everyone. As much as I dislike my current role, I will stick it out as long as I can. I'm looking at junior dev roles in the area and see quite a few that align with what I'm already learning..so that gives me some hope. Thanks again.
  2. Hi all, Title basically sums it up. I am currently working as a Software QA at a company I've been at for 3+ years. In my spare time, I've been doing a bunch of online study with respect to full-stack (MERN) which I feel is good as far as what is in demand lately. I had thought about attending a part-time coding bootcamp but ultimately decided it would be too expensive (with either loans or ISA) and I feel like I can cover a lot on my own as I am fairly focused on this path. Recently, my current job put me on a new team after our company got bought out by a bigger, nationally re
  3. Thanks everyone for the replies thus far. Really helped me open my eyes to the reality of what we're dealing with. As for enabling, I would unfortunately have to agree that I'm guilty of that somewhat. I think when we had to scramble and downsize from the house to this current rental, I knew I was going to have to help them out for that transition. Storage units, moving cots, as well as the actual physical move, etc. Those were individual events which I thought were needed at the time. As for the monthly rent and bills, up until sister 2 lost her job, it was just her and Mom paying for
  4. So, I'll try to get right to it. Currently I (oldest sibling) am helping my Mom (In her 60's) and my 3 younger siblings with a housing situation in which they are renting a 3 bedroom house. Mom and I are the primary co-signers on the lease, with my credit and financial history being the main reason they were able to get the rental. I have my own apartment across town, and am able to suppprt myself for now with my job in the software realm. Mom has had issues with bankruptcies in the past with her late husband (my step-dad who passed about 3 years ago), and they ultimately lost their ho
  5. Hi all, So basically my question boils down to how I can be more focused when it comes to my studies. I guess this could apply to anyone who deals with the internet and the vast amount of information and click bait out there. I'm trying to put in the time to become a software developer and I find that I am highly distracted by all the info out there. One minute I'm trying to work on my javascript algorithms course (which is probably my main focus, or rather, should be), and the next minute I'm falling down the wikipedia rabbit hole on the history of linux. Or maybe I see a neat article
  6. Hey thanks for the replies so far, I guess I should expand on the situation a bit more just for context. Apologies for the long reply: Ok good question, so basically neither was thrown out necessarily. Military friend was only in town for a short period of time to begin with. Brother, when he saw the kissing incident, I guess had a bad reaction to it all. I guess it was something he was suspicious of for a while ever since military friend came into town. For some context, the military friend is someone he's known for a long time...and seeing this guy try to kiss our sister...well I can
  7. So, long story short, Me, oldest of 5, living on my own, might be hosting my younger brother (22) who was living with our mom. Middle (28) and youngest sister (17) also lives there with mom. There was an incident the other weekend with one of his friends who is in the military and was visiting. Military friend was caught trying to kiss our youngest sister and when brother saw this he flipped out (which I can't say I necessarily blame him for). Things got heated, words were said (by all parties), and point is that there was an environment where he felt that the best decision was to leave th
  8. Saw an old photo of you ever so briefly after finding an old camera in a box I was moving around. Looked for a fraction of a second and it immediately took me back to that place. Things were so good back in that moment in time when that picture was taken. It was all new, fresh, fun. I immediately turned the camera off, removed the batteries, and stuffed it in a drawer. Maybe I'll find it again in a year...but hopefully not repeat that mistake. For a moment, I cringed and wanted to reach out. It's been 8+ months since we last spoke. Obviously I miss you. Clearly I still have deep feelings for y
  9. Can't sleep at all (mind is going a million miles an hour) so I might as well do something productive. Don't really have any main issue or topic for this post, just wanted to write a bit. I had a bit of an epiphany recently and it helped remind me that there are twists and turns on the road of recovery. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes at some point. To err is human, right? So, I had an incredibly embarrassing event happen this last weekend at my family's house and it put me in such a mental tailspin that I think it was just the motivation I needed to get back on track and stay f
  10. Hey all, sorry for the delay on this but work and life has taken up most if not all my time. A few updates though. Her car is a 2015 (valued at ~$5-6k in normal condition), note is $9k, she's paid $1k to date, she does not have GAP insurance, and she is 100% sure her insurance will total the car according to her. She pays ~$190/mo on the note. $60/mo for basic liability. So far we have decided that buying a beater is a good path, and she's found a few on FB marketplace so far in the $500 to $1000 range. Still looking for the best deal, and we want to have it taken to a mechanic & t
  11. Good Idea. Hadn't thought of that either. Will research and see what I can find. I know there's a few places that will sell cars like that around town. All good questions, and I need to find out the answers to them first. Not precisely sure what her insurance situation is regarding this or if an adjuster has seen it yet. The car is relatively new, I would say less than 3 or 4 years old, and she's been paying on it for the last 2 years I would say. Hmm I will need to do some more research and see what we can work out. I text her last night saying we should talk first and she has ye
  12. Right I'm trying to be cautious here. The first thing I would need to do is have a heart to heart about finances and where she's at and how committed she is to this idea. She has helped out our parents in the past and she says that that is what hurt her credit. I did the opposite throughout the years and tried to have as little tied to my family financially as possible aside from straight cash to help with bills, etc. My parents weren't exactly good stewards of long term monies, but that is beside the point right now. Hadn't thought of the rental idea yet. I have the cushion for my own repair,
  13. Been a while since I've been on here but this is the only forum I ever really frequent so I'll just get to it. My sister recently had an incident with her vehicle where apparently she was driving at night in a dimly lit part of the highway and ran over some concrete from some type of construction nearby. The front end of her little Fiat 500 was badly damaged and the car is undrivable now. Estimates so far have been in the $2-2.5k region from 2 different places according to her. She basically is asking me to help her cosign a loan with the mechanic's shop (which she says is common for them) and
  14. She wanted to be in a non-monogamous relationship. I was not interested in that. The particular kink being discussed doesn't necessarily involve sex, but can at times. I wasn't specifically seeking multiple sexual partners with the intent of having group sex at all. The way she approached it in that group chat (which I have left) indicated she was trying to manufacture sexual partners into it as well as the non-sexual part. I see what you are saying though. On one hand is the remnants of the relationship, and her subsequent telling me how she missed me, and on the other hand is the kink an
  15. Perhaps cake isn't the right analogy. My bad on that. I guess the only difference was I wasn't running to her to tell her how much I missed her and was wanting her in my life with tears in my eyes. We had decided to split, so at that point we are free to pursue our own interests. She voluntarily asked me to see her so that she could tell me these things. I feel like that implies there's some emotion there. So to use that emotion on one hand and then do this feels like a contradictory thing I suppose. I don't know, maybe I'm not approaching this (whatever this is) correctly. Sure, I was ex
  16. Surprised, no. I sort of knew she was involved with a poly couple. We dated for 2 years, and then off an on for a year. We had been back and forth these last few weeks with waning interest from both parties, but we would still talk and get together now and then. We were just trying to be comfortable being friends. We broke up initially because we wanted different things. As I mentioned yes in the right capacity and context this would have been an activity I would have wanted to do with her. So yeah as her former love interest there's absolutely some jealousy involved. I feel that's only na
  17. Right, I'm trying to avoid all that. Like I mentioned this was really a "wrong place at the right time" type situation. I hadn't been in the chat long, and didn't plan to stay, but then I see her and what happened...and it was just a bit surreal. I don't know if I'm being a creepy stalker, I just happened to see what I saw at the time. It was a whirlwind of activity in a short time span. I don't plan on confronting her in the sense of "Why are you doing this to me and you are a horrible person because of it". That wouldn't make sense. As stated we have the same kink so its not like this is
  18. Right I completely agree. We were both aware we were into it and correct I don't think she knows I was there. I guess its just an odd situation to consider. I don't know if I should have introduced myself in the group chat and said "Oh hey yeah remember me we were in a serious relationship for years but let's also do kinky activity XYZ with these strangers" I guess I'm just acknowledging the ridiculousness of it. You are right, she is free to do what she wants in whatever capacity. I just feel uncomfortable knowing this happened and I am also somewhat concerned about her safety. I know she
  19. I'll try to keep this brief. Ran into the ex on a kik group chat. She doesn't (at least I'm assuming) doesn't know I was in the same group with her, since my profile is somewhat vague, yet hers is clearly her with profile picture and everything. Anyway the chat was of the fetish variety, and regional, so its not totally unlikely that I would have ran into her in that capacity as we were both into the same thing. Originally I had joined the chat just out of curiosity, see whats going on, etc... Then I see that she joins, and is instantly the center of attention, and is immediatel
  20. First just let me say I miss you and hope you are ok. I know its only been a week or so...but I feel like time is precious. I feel bad how our last conversation went. Obviously I didn't expect you to say that you wanted to be alone...but I understand. I know I didn't answer your question the way you wanted me to. It's a question I still don't know how to answer. I love you...(at least I think I do. I am not sure if I its just a word we got comfortable saying and never truly realized what it meant)...I know how happy you have made me in the past and how much fun we can have together. You took m
  21. I'm missing you so much today. It's always when I let my mind wander too much and think about the what ifs. You change and contort in my head as I remember things that did happen, and things that I think are going to happen, and of course all the things that I could have done differently. Some days I feel good about where I'm at, and confident in my path, and to a large degree I'm still optimistic. And of course on the other end I feel loss, confusion, doubt. I miss all those good happy times. All the nights of just us doing our thing. Sharing that special part of our lives that only we go
  22. Funny how I've ended up on this thread again. I guess that is just a testament to its usefulness. I miss you, and I miss the way you made me laugh. I miss the way you made me think and how you supported me and wanted me to succeed. I know you still do, and I know I can reach out to you whenever I want. For now, I can't. At least not right now. You messed up, and I caught you. I messed up too, and you caught me before. Does that make us even? Was it all a lie? What part of it was ever the truth or were we just playing each other the whole time? We had good moments, and lots of b
  23. This is looking like it could be a disaster waiting to happen. YOU told me that you wanted to be friends. I accepted, probably naively, because I thought it could work. Silly me. Lying and manipulating and petty jabs...is that what you think friends do? Oh and let's not forget to include a wink with every F**king text you send. Really?? Are you 13?? To be brutally honest, its no wonder your "best" friend deserted you. It's no wonder your family doesn't talk to you. It's no wonder you crawl back to your old ex's and your precious "community" of losers for safety and comfort.
  24. I've been so so for the last 24 hours...but i'm starting to get those same feelings of panic coming up every now and then. I really want to reach out to you and tell you how sorry I am. But what will that accomplish? I know how you work. You will use it against me and tell me how its not fair that I could send a text so nasty, and then a few days later turn around and I'm basically on my knees begging for forgiveness. What kind of message does that send? My options are to either do nothing, wait a little longer and then maybe contact you, or contact you now and risk putting the nail in
  25. I've been very confused the last few days. It is not a fun feeling for me. I go back and forth between hating your guts and wishing you were right here in front of me. What you said to me hurt me. A lot. That kind of insult just threw me over the edge, whereas if it was any other normal conversation, I would have been able to brush it off. Then again that's the kind of person you are, aren't you? You enjoy getting under my skin. You've said on numerous occasions that you laugh whenever I get mad. You feed off of people getting upset when you end up with the upperhand. Basically you're
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