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itsallgrand
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Thank you! I got a few hours in the morning. Hopefully tonight is better. Going to try all the old tricks!

We went to view a property today. Excellent price for three acres. Turned out to be much further away than we thought, and they didn't list how it is directly beside a little cemetery! Also the building was much more than a fixer upper, it is a literal shack with no running water and you'd have to build from scratch. Loved the property though, with a pond and dock and perfect for a hobby farm.

It was fun, I enjoyed going to see. Keeping my eyes peeled because who knows, if there is a good opportunity, I'm open.

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Wow, that's a good price for 200 acres!

Yeah, it's exciting thinking of possibilities.

Batya, that's really neat how your friend has lived such different experiences in her life.

 

I slept last night! So here's hoping for tonight again. Oddly, talking about it here helps. I don't want to harp on it but just organizing what's happening helps I guess, and having people relate without judgement.

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I'm noticing a pattern now. A night of poor sleep followed by a good sleep followed by a poor one again. Last night was 4 hrs sleep and so maybe tonight will be a good one?! I was busy all day so hopefully.

 

Yes -that pattern happens to me, too! Are you having more vivid dreams? I am because of the pandemic and the unrest/protests.

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Yes, I am. Same. The odd nightmare and random bouts of anxiety as well.

It did start up because of the pandemic, and it got worse during the protests/riots. Its everything going on, the general sense of upheaval and uncertainty, contributing.

I'm trying to focus on positives, and to continue to do things which are important to me. I'm trying to keep up with exercise and eating well, as we know how important that is for managing stress. It's just an odd time and we are all trying our best.

The Uni I've been taking classes through is officially staying strictly online through fall at least. On the one hand, it makes a lot of sense and I'm relieved. On the other, it was neat for me getting that uni experience in person. But the important thing is I'm actually doing it. Something I always wanted to do, completing a degree and continuing a more formal education.

I'd often thought over the years, if things had been different and I'd have chosen differently, I could have advanced so far by now in schooling. It's something that has bothered me. I love studying and it comes naturally to me. I'm a voracious reader and learner by nature, so there is this part of me that regrets not directing it into a degree sooner. But I can't go back, and most of that was due to circumstances and struggles with my mental health. So there's no point beating myself up, though honestly at times I do.

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The Uni I've been taking classes through is officially staying strictly online through fall at least. On the one hand, it makes a lot of sense and I'm relieved. On the other, it was neat for me getting that uni experience in person. But the important thing is I'm actually doing it. Something I always wanted to do, completing a degree and continuing a more formal education.

 

I think it's awesome that you are pursuing this goal! Good work.

 

Frustrating about everything going online... I've always preferred in-person learning, too. For me, it seems to be more effective to have the teacher present, interactive, and immediately accessible. But they are probably making some important forward strides in the online learning formats now that mandatory distance-learning is so wide-spread. I've heard interesting bits of info from the moms I know. More minds on the problem...

 

Hope you find improvement with your insomnia. I've suffered from it in the past, along with midnight dreads. It was awful. But it's been gone now for years and years. All I can think is that something was out of alignment in my life when I suffered from it. That was about 15 years ago, and I was just passing out of my mid-20s into real adulthood, reckoning with my lingering childish beliefs. It was a stressful time, but it passed for me and I think it will for you, too.

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Jibralta wrote everything I feel and yes!! I understand about the regrets with the degrees. I hope you find forgiveness -that you were doing your best at the time. My dear friend's daughter has wanted to do graduate work for years -she is in her late 20s and got her college degree a bit late. But the last couple of years she's been off track and kind of self-sabotaging and it's frustrating for me to watch especially since part of it has to do with really bad choices in men to the point where she is now being sued by one -frivolous but still. But I won't say anything to her -it won't help. At all. She has to come to the decision and motivation herself.

 

I'm glad you're doing this and yes I totally agree with Jibralta about the downsides of virtual learning. My son starts a not inexpensive virtual minecraft camp today -at least it's technology so it lends itself more to virtual but I've seen the downsides in his school online learning and now camp.

 

Good luck!!

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That's a good point about strides being made with online learning during this time. That's a positive thing. Opening up new avenues for people to learn, which is always a good thing.

 

Minecraft camp...the video game? If so, that's really cool! My husband's nephew is obsessed with Minecraft. He would love a camp like that!

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That's a good point about strides being made with online learning during this time. That's a positive thing. Opening up new avenues for people to learn, which is always a good thing.

 

Minecraft camp...the video game? If so, that's really cool! My husband's nephew is obsessed with Minecraft. He would love a camp like that!

 

Well so far it was a huge disappointment because the download didn't function -but they're going to try to work with us- my son loves Minecraft too!!

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That's a good point about strides being made with online learning during this time. That's a positive thing. Opening up new avenues for people to learn, which is always a good thing.

 

Minecraft camp...the video game? If so, that's really cool! My husband's nephew is obsessed with Minecraft. He would love a camp like that!

 

Omg I loooove minecraft but my son won’t play it anymore.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Happy to report I've been getting better sleeps.

One night I was so desperate, I put on these great big ear muffs that are meant for working around loud noise. I went into our guest bedroom where it's easier to make it dark as can be, and slept hard.

Since then, I forced myself onto a strict routine. Of course routines got buggered up with the pandemic, and with changes that had to be made. Changes and adjustments still happening but I've created very structured days for myself for now. It's just what I need at this time.

I've been missing swimming so much. I go for walks, and do a little basic strength training at home , but my god I miss swimming!!

Still not comfortable going to the pools, and the lakes have been packed so I've avoided that. Plus issues with the water in some places unfortunately, so kinda leery as of now.

I'm seriously considering just one of those above ground little pools. Can't do laps or anything, but therapeutic to be able to go out any time in the back yard and move around in the water. I'm mostly scared of other people, so it would solve that.

Looking for more secluded spots to camp for a bit, just want some the away, but been super busy too now with other things. I think it's important though not to miss out on all the things I'd usually do for fun in summer.

Well that's quite a long one. Now for bed!

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Thanks, how are you doing?

 

Thanks for asking! OKkk just still in limbo about whether schools will reopen. Which is stressful. I've made a concerted effort to read (even) more and reduce screen time more - my local library reopened for curbside pickup so i retrieved a number of books I'd had on hold.

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That would be stressful. Hopefully you know what is happening one way or another soon. What grade will your son be going in now?

Oh that's great about the library doing curbside pickup. I've been actually reading a lot of cookbooks lately, and using them. I need some new books though to read as I've gone through mine over during lockdown.

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That would be stressful. Hopefully you know what is happening one way or another soon. What grade will your son be going in now?

Oh that's great about the library doing curbside pickup. I've been actually reading a lot of cookbooks lately, and using them. I need some new books though to read as I've gone through mine over during lockdown.

 

Cookbooks are probably calming, yes? 6th grade -brand new renovated middle school. Received his supply box and apparently there's a small canister of wipes in it. Pre-pandemic I would have wanted to open the box if there were let's say M&Ms -now those wipes are sooooo tempting (luckily my grocery store had some in stock the other day for the first time since February or so!)

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It's wild that I remember you first mentioning here that you were a new mom, and now he's in grade 6!

Lol that's funny about the wipes. I haven't seen many around yet , but I'm stocked up on bleach.

 

Ohhhh bleach!!! I don't use it but I have a small stash of bleach wipes should I ever need it. I know grade 6. Ridiculous. It feels like yesterday, not 8 years ago when at preschool library story time he exclaimed pointing at the big clock on the wall "oh a big clock!!" except he said clock without the L sound. Can you imagine kids actually used to sit close together on rugs together and sing and dance and listen to stories? While the grownups were able to chat maybe a foot apart?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Spending the day super cleaning the house. I usually hate cleaning. I found a trick that works for me finally. It's all in my head but whatever works!!

I imagine I'll be like a guest coming into a hotel. What would be awesome to walk into? Kinda fun playing this game. I've even been coming up with themes. Today is "white day". Lol.

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