itsallgrand Posted September 27, 2017 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 We are going to try. Link to comment
quirky Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 That is great news, have a great vacation! You deserve it and you have been so resilient, hope you decompress and feel close to nature and yourself. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 30, 2017 Author Share Posted September 30, 2017 Thanks both of you! It's a strange but exciting new path. Strange because, I've spent so long doing everything in my power to not get pregnant. Now I'm actively trying, and it's bizarre to me and almost feels counter intuitive. We've had so many talks. We always did though, as we got together both in our thirties and neither of us with children. So those talks have a very real sense early. We both want a family with child(ren) and we both wanted it only within a loving, long term relationship. He told me early on that he wanted it within a marriage. Marriage is not as important to me, but it makes total sense to me when adding child(ren). So we have talked a lot about that too. I've already cut out all alcohol and gone on a strict organic diet . Started taking vitamins, doing research. The vacations will help take down stress. I'm excited. If it doesn't happen, ok. We are both very open to adoption. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 Exciting news and may the process be joyful and easy for you. I've benefited from your wisdom and grace on here so much through the years - your child will be so lucky to have you as a mother! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 30, 2017 Share Posted September 30, 2017 It is an exciting journey. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 1, 2017 Author Share Posted October 1, 2017 That is so sweet! Thank you! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 I'm in the middle of deep cleaning pre-vacation. I really, really dislike cleaning. He does a lot, but of course I can't expect him to do everything. I blast country music and he's off doing something fun. Good! It's better he's not here for my intense cleaning mode. ( and for some r a son the country music only comes out when I'm really digging through stuff, like with season end cleaning!). I'm seriously considering taking my friend up on her offer to do all the real yucky stuff when it's needed , as a cleaning gig. She used to work cleaning rooms in camps, and I've seen her place - always spotless! I trust her and would feel no pain at all paying her way above her rate as I know she works like a real pro. Bless you people who LIKE cleaning!! I do not comprehend lol. She says "it's relaxing, I miss it!" .... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 14, 2017 Author Share Posted November 14, 2017 [video=youtube;bORW_YEmHwY] By coincidence to my last post on my journal. Maybe, or maybe not. Wouldnt mind a maid. My favorite Neil Young song. Always somehow thought of it as a Christmas song. Maybe because its about love, and loneliness, and human need. Anyways, its beautiful. Im missing mom so much. Trying to make sense. Sometimes its better to not try and talk about my feelings. Sometimes its better to feel them and ...doesnt have to be a conversation. Been doing a lot of that lately. And its good for me. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 29, 2017 Author Share Posted November 29, 2017 It's confirmed .. I'm definitely pregnant ! Even though we were trying , I've been in shock about it and am still processing it. I'm surprised how emotional I feel about it. I'm happy, I'm excited, I'm a little bit scared, and I'm a little bit sad - only because I right away thought of mom and how amazing it would be to share this with her. Did I mention we are engaged?! 😀 When we saw the pregnancy test practically flashing "you are SO pregnant" , I started crying like a baby. The bf was running around excited and with a huge smile on his face "we are having a baby!" and then held me in a huge embrace for a long time. It was a special moment I'll never forget. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Awww I am so damned excited for you!!! Link to comment
sophie274 Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Wow congratulations on the baby and the engagement! I hope the pregnancy goes very smoothly. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 That’s really nice Congratulations! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Congratulations! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted November 30, 2017 Author Share Posted November 30, 2017 Thank you so much !! Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 3, 2017 Author Share Posted December 3, 2017 Warning, I'm going to write about something that ties in to politics. And it's about specific Canadian politics, so you've been warned if you don't want to read. My partner has a different status than me under the law due to ethnicity. He didn't have a say in it. As soon as he was born, he was registered as a 'status Indian'. We have had many discussions about the topic, not only because it comes up in every day life, but because we want to be a legal family. Marrying and having a child both are tied in to this. When we sent an email away to his band inquiring, we received forms in the mail within the week. One was a registration form for our marriage to be , one was a registration form for our child to be. Ok, so after further research, we were faced with certain info. And choices, a concensus to be reached. Info: under the law, if we are to marry, I would be eligible to be a 'status Indian' . Our child, would be eligible to be recognized as a 'status Indian' as well. This drove a lot of conversation between us. And a lot of dry reading on our parts too. I wanted to thoroughly understand the fine print of the law. I walked away with the conclusion that my original stance on it stood. You can not 'opt out'. However, you can fail to register. No one can legally FORCE you to register anymore. There may be pressure , sure, but The Indian Act was actually created with the intention in mind of fewer and fewer qualifying. Amendments have boosted numbers, but it remains that you can no longer be forced like in the very beginning days. The more I learn about it ( and I've always had an interest in this aspect of the country's history and roots), the more strongly I feel about how I do not want my child to go through that. Learn about history, culture, etc absolutely. Be proud of every part of themselves, absolutely. He and I agree - whichever way you fall, that card doesn't define a person. It doesn't define who you are, where you come from, what you will be. HOWEVER. It is a sensitive subject with strong feelings many different ways in this country. We are just going to do what is consistent with our values, and what we feel is best for us. I just really wonder, and I sincerely hope so, will things be different by the time a child of ours grows up? We had hoped it would have been more of a change from when we were little until now. And it's not. It's eerily so much the same issues. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 10, 2017 Author Share Posted December 10, 2017 I wish mom was here to talk to. I miss her, and, I really could use her wisdom and guidance right now. I'm so scared of something going wrong with this pregnancy. I know the risks are higher because of my age, and miscarriages aren't that uncommon even if I were younger. I've never been pregnant. All the things going on with my body are totally new to me. I love this baby so much already, and it's only a tiny little bean. I do have others to talk to , and I'm grateful, but it's not the same. I feel sad that mom and I missed out on sharing this together. I'm baby crazy right now. And that's not me. I didn't think I'd be one of those women who is constantly thinking of baby stuff because I'm pregnant, and yet here I am. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 10, 2017 Share Posted December 10, 2017 I wish mom was here to talk to. I miss her, and, I really could use her wisdom and guidance right now. I'm so scared of something going wrong with this pregnancy. I know the risks are higher because of my age, and miscarriages aren't that uncommon even if I were younger. I've never been pregnant. All the things going on with my body are totally new to me. I love this baby so much already, and it's only a tiny little bean. I do have others to talk to , and I'm grateful, but it's not the same. I feel sad that mom and I missed out on sharing this together. I'm baby crazy right now. And that's not me. I didn't think I'd be one of those women who is constantly thinking of baby stuff because I'm pregnant, and yet here I am. People are often surprised at how they change when they become pregnant. When it's YOUR child it's completely different. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 You are right about that, S. I experimented with holiday vegan baking this evening, for my sweetie. I'm very happy with how my vegan imperial cookies turned out. I made this batch with a sugar cookie dough. The vegan shortbread though, it's waa waa waa. I'll try again, I'm really not pleased. It's the one treat he asked for, as he can rarely get it. And I see why. It's a challenge . It's all about butter! Though there are good tasting vegan baking butter alternatives, the texture doesn't come out right. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I would die for some short bread right about now. How is the pregnancy going? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 Honestly? I am loving being pregnant. I've got the usual morning sickness, heartburn, and the like... but I am so happy. I'm just trying to resist the urge to start buying stuff. Until a bit later. but at this point, I mean as soon as I knew, I fell in love, so I'm letting myself be happy. If something does happen, I'll deal with it. Right now, I'm enjoying and being as stress free as possible. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Honestly? I am loving being pregnant. I've got the usual morning sickness, heartburn, and the like... but I am so happy. I'm just trying to resist the urge to start buying stuff. Until a bit later. but at this point, I mean as soon as I knew, I fell in love, so I'm letting myself be happy. If something does happen, I'll deal with it. Right now, I'm enjoying and being as stress free as possible. I loved being pregnant too, no matter how sick I was . How far along are you? I know many women have had kids when a bit older . My grand-mère was 40 when she had my mom and 42 when she had my mom’s brother. Had my uterus been normal I am sure I would have been fine when I got pregnant at 40. I think you are below 40 though. My MIL also had my husband I think at 36 ish and his sister at 37 ish . They are about 20 months apart or something. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 Seven weeks or so. And I'm under 40 , yeah. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I will keep everything crossed for you! Once you reach 14 weeks the chances of miscarriage reduce dramatically. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 Thank you. I'm pretty lucky in that my brother is a nurse, and he has worked for a time with expectant and new moms. So I've got a nurse on call, in a way, to ask questions and get support from. Isn't it funny all the seasons of life we get to see longer term members on the board go through. I'm grateful for this place. Link to comment
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