Is it wrong to lose your virginity to a prostitute?

[Shepard]

Mate, you are obsessing too much about women. Despite what they might want you to believe, women are not the be-all and end-all of human life. There is so much more to life than women. You are focusing too much on this one topic. You are giving women unwarranted power over you. Your proper attitude towards women should be one not of hate or anger but one of utter and absolute indifference. Achieve this and many other things will follow...the less you care, the easier it will become. Women are not important enough to warrant your loathing or your frustration; they warrant only utter apathy.

[Fudgie]

Despite what they might want you to believe, women are not the be-all and end-all of human life. There is so much more to life than women.

 

As a woman, I'm insulted! I am the center of the universe! *kidding*

 

MD,

 

I've seen a lot of your posts/threads here and I do think Shepard has a point. You're obsessing. It isn't doing you any good. Just get out and live life a little and you'll feel better.

[Wayfara]

I think I have probably one of the best personalities anyone could have, I have a lot of qualities and yet I'm always being over looked by someone else who's lesser of a man who plays games or a person who just has more money than I do. I'm sick and tired of it, I'm sick of the game playing and excuses. I quit trying to even date and now I just don't care. I think whatever I do both good or bad won't make any different in my life because I'm not perfect like women want me to be.

 

I think your anger is fuelled by the wrong things.

 

Rejection isn't a personal insult, it's merely stating that you and her aren't a match. Maybe she's not attracted to you, we can't be attracted to everyone. Or maybe she thinks you're just too angry and bitter, and then she's merely looking out for herself, being smart. Just because she makes a dumb choice later by dating a jerk, it doesn't make her decision to not date you wrong. If attraction isn't there rejection can never be wrong and it doesn't matter how great, good looking, rich, understanding, nice the other one is. Without mutual attraction a relationship is doomed to be unhappy.

 

And if a woman is so dumb she only wants to date people who abuse and cheat on her, why is that your problem? She's not making that decision unpunished, she's going to get abused and cheated on. And if she specifically wants an abuser she must be a doormat or a evil lover, is that the type woman you want?

 

I don't know why you think your bitterness can't be a problem to women. I am a woman and I wouldn't date someone who resented women. You're a man, would you date an angry bitter man-hater? You say women can tell that you're a virgin but you don't think they can tell you're angry and bitter at them? If a women can tell you're not very experienced then they definitely can tell you're bitter too.

 

You seem to have a lot of things going for you, you seem ambitious and you're not afraid of asking girls out. It would be sad if the only thing blocking your luck with women was your own desperation and resentful attitude toward women. Resentment and desperation are major deal breakers, but it's something that could be dealt with if you recognize your problems and work on them.

 

I can't tell if you have other problems as well that keep girls at distance. But it's beyond obvious that you have one major problem you just don't want to work on, your bitterness. And that problem on itself makes you automatically undateable to about 99,9% of the quality women. You're like a guy trying to walk with broken legs. Before telling yourself you're beyond hope, why not bandage your legs and let them heal? Then you can try again to see if you're really crippled. Maybe you are crippled, I don't know, but you can't know until you let your legs heal and I think you should at least try that before amputating them. You have all the time in the world to see a prostitute so why don't you let yourself heal from the bitterness and see if maybe that was all that you needed to do to make yourself dateable before you do something that will make you unattractive to most women.

 

Sure, you might not tell your future girlfriend about your encounters with the prostitute but it would be dishonest in my opinion. Your future girlfriend might not want to date a man with those values, and she should have the option not to. And there is always the possibility that she'll find out.

 

You have a choice to what kind of women you want to attract. Doormats and bad girls wants an abuser and quality women want someone with their things together. While you're angry and bitter you don't have your things together, so as long you hold on to your bitterness your chances with the quality girls is close to zero. If you become a jerk and sleep with prostitutes you increase your chances with the bad girls and the doormats that don't think they deserve any better, but you're chances with the quality girls is now even worse than before. Or you can drop your bitterness and increase your chances with the quality women. Maybe not every quality woman will be attracted to you but now you actually have a chance with them.

[jonny15]

Plus, if he DOES end up finding someone, he gets to live with the fact that he could have waited for her but chose not to.

 

And there is a possiblity he never finds someone.

 

Atleast he can know what sex was like.

[Cognitive_Canine]

And there is a possiblity he never finds someone.

 

Atleast he can know what sex was like.

 

Well, he'd know what one kind of sex with one kind of woman was like. And, he may end up disliking that kind of sex with that kind of woman.

 

No one can really understand all the possibilities of sex.

[jonny15]

Well, he'd know what one kind of sex with one kind of woman was like. And, he may end up disliking that kind of sex with that kind of woman.

 

No one can really understand all the possibilities of sex.

 

As I said.....he'd atleast know what sex was like.

 

Atleast a type of sex.

 

And if he can't get any othr type of sex, then he might have to start liking it.

[Cognitive_Canine]

As I said.....he'd atleast know what sex was like.

 

Atleast a type of sex.

 

And if he can't get any othr type of sex, then he might have to start liking it.

 

But, that's the problem. He doesn't have to learn to like something or settle. There is nothing wrong with him.

 

Yeah, he could lose weight and work on social skills. We all could.

 

He's not damaged or some repellent to women. He can get women but it's going to be hard. Change always is. But, hope is not lost. You guys have this defeatist attitude and it becomes a vicious cycle. You have a bad experience with women...it fuels the attitude...the attitude sours the next interaction...repeat.

 

But, it does not have to be like that.

[Shepard]

Believe me, the solution is simple. You are obsessing about something that is unworthy of your obsession. Women are only as important as you choose to make them. Do something else, something productive. All this obsessing is just building up your anger and resentment even more. There are more important things in the world than women. Do you have any hobbies? Friends? Anything? These are the things you could and should concentrate on...

[Sparkly Eyes]

Believe me, the solution is simple. You are obsessing about something that is unworthy of your obsession. Women are only as important as you choose to make them. Do something else, something productive. All this obsessing is just building up your anger and resentment even more. There are more important things in the world than women. Do you have any hobbies? Friends? Anything? These are the things you could and should concentrate on...

 

I have to agree. The obsession you have is not healthy...Do you have everything else in your life in order? Are women really the only problem in your life? Most probably not. Your obsession about dating can prevent you from being productive in other areas of your life. Trust me, it happened to me before...I was too occupied with the idea of having a relationship that I stopped doing the things I should have done at that point and I regret it now.

[Fudgie]

As I said.....he'd atleast know what sex was like.

 

Atleast a type of sex.

 

And if he can't get any othr type of sex, then he might have to start liking it.

 

I imagine sex with a prostitute would be basically like screwing a blow-up doll with lube. And the doll makes the normal "noises". Not to say that the prostitute isn't human (she is) but there is NO intimacy and there never will be. You may as well use your hand because it's safer, cheaper, and honestly, not that emotionally different.

 

I'm sorry, it's hard to explain, but the kind of sex you get with being with someone you care about can't be compared.

 

If you really place THAT much importance on the sole physical act and don't care about the future, then by all means, go to a prostitute. But have fun finding someone to date later and dealing with the possible regret/shame/embarrassment or criminal charges.

 

For crying out loud, stop putting such importance on the act itself. Really, once you have it, you'll see it's not a big deal.

 

Think about having a relationship instead. If you spend all your time thinking about sex sex sex, no girl is going to want to go out with you.

 

And no, when I was virgin, I didn't spend my days obsessing about how to find someone. My life is NO different now that I've had sex versus when I didn't have sex. Honestly, the only thing that's changed is my hairstyle and I"m a little heavier.

 

Just live your life and the women will come on their own.

[MD Geist]

Believe me, the solution is simple. You are obsessing about something that is unworthy of your obsession. Women are only as important as you choose to make them. Do something else, something productive. All this obsessing is just building up your anger and resentment even more. There are more important things in the world than women. Do you have any hobbies? Friends? Anything? These are the things you could and should concentrate on...

 

What upsets me is you guys act like I don't have hobbies, Friends or anything else in life. I have all of those things!. My opinion anyone who doesn't even have friends should not even attempt to be in a relationship b/c it will exhaust their partner greatly. But it is kind of hard to concentrate on other things that do involve people when they are all in relationships except you.

 

Throughout the summer I was the only single guy. Talk about being a blacksheep.

[Sparkly Eyes]

What upsets me is you guys act like I don't have hobbies, Friends or anything else in life. I have all of those things!. My opinion anyone who doesn't even have friends should not even attempt to be in a relationship b/c it will exhaust their partner greatly. But it is kind of hard to concentrate on other things that do involve people when they are all in relationships except you.

 

Throughout the summer I was the only single guy. Talk about being a blacksheep.

 

I'm a girl and I was single most of my life, when all of my friends had boyfriends. I wasn't happy with it but was logical enough to not bash men for it.

[MD Geist]

I'm a girl and I was single most of my life, when all of my friends had boyfriends. I wasn't happy with it but was logical enough to not bash men for it.

 

But did men do terrible things to you when you tried to date them? How about their intentions? Like they wouldn't date you now but over a period of time they come back when they have problems for you to slove them?

[Cognitive_Canine]

But did men do terrible things to you when you tried to date them? How about their intentions? Like they wouldn't date you now but over a period of time they come back when they have problems for you to slove them?

 

Until I was 18 I didn't have a single boyfriend. My friends were always in relationships. I was often the 7th or 9th wheel at get together's and cartrips.

 

Yes, I've been treated badly before by men. In middle school a guy said "eww" to me when I asked him out. I got tricked by 8th grade boys pretending to like me but laughing about me behind their backs. I got bullied a lot by these two popular redheads. I asked a guy friend to dance once and he ignored me for weeks after that.

 

I changed a lot the summer before high school and became a cheerleader. Lost a lot of weight, got my jaw and teeth fixed, stopped wearing glasses, cut my butt length hair off, and started caring more about makeup and clothing.

 

Honestly, I'd consider myself very attractive and get male attention all the time. I'm not jaded at all about what happened to me when I was very young. The same guy that said 'eww" to me ended up asking me out at the end of high school. I turned him down though. Not out of bitterness, but I just wasn't into him.

[Sparkly Eyes]

But did men do terrible things to you when you tried to date them? How about their intentions? Like they wouldn't date you now but over a period of time they come back when they have problems for you to slove them?

 

I had a few stalkers and it was terrible...One of them "fell in love" with me according to himself without even knowing me. Seriously, we never even talked once beforehand. He basically told me he has money, looks and intelligence so I should just love to go out with him, he thought he was just entitled to having me. His attitude turned me off big time. When I said no to him he got very bothered and started harassing me...telling horrible (HORRIBLE) things to me, threatening me, preventing guys from asking me out. He caused me so much misery and I had to talk with his parents and tell them I would tell police if they don't stop their son. There were also other guys who couldn't take a "no" and talked behind my back...The one guy that I kinda asked out also was not nice to me. Another guy again really liked me but had a gf (we were just classmates)...when he figured I wouldn't be "romantic" with him, he screwed me over in my course since he was my TA. Oh and another guy again asked me out just for me to figure he was my old friend's boyfriend! Obviously I told her and they broke up...

 

Honestly, now that I think about it, most of the problems I had with guys was related to their sense of entitlement. Most of them didn't even know me well, yet they would get so pissed if they got rejected. And I see the same attitude in you here....

[Cognitive_Canine]

I had a stalker in early college too, worriedgirl. He'd call me at all hours of the night and tell me to come to his bed. He'd call my boyfriend and hang up on him. He'd text me 4+ times a day and tell me to break up with my boyfriend. I stopped answering my phone and blocked him on everything, he'd call me from a friend's phone and started making fake facebook pages and trying to friend me.

 

Luckily, it never escalated too badly as one of my guy friends yelled at him and scared him off (big guy, football player).

 

I've also been grabbed numerous times by men. Typically while at concerts. I've been in a lot of very threatening situations involving men actually. I'm a small girl so I get easily spooked. And, some of these guys can be really spooky.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Oh yeah. I've definitely been grabbed quite a few times. Once my boyfriend at the time was right in front of me when the guy grabbed me from behind.

 

My stalkers were all hard to deal with and I needed other people's help to get rid of them.

[greywolf]

My first boyfriend cheated on me. Then a couple of months later he begged me to take him back. I said I wasn't sure, and that I'd have to think about it. A couple nights later we ended up making out and doing some other stuff, and the next day I asked if he still wanted to get back together and he said no. lol

 

I'm not angry at him for that. I did what I did because I wanted to, but it would have been nice if he would've told me he was just after sexual stuff.

[Fudgie]

MD,

 

There's nothing wrong with being single. I was single for years as my friends were off having wild sex, I just stayed home.

 

Staying single when others are with others is only an issue if YOU make it one. Simple as that.

 

If you constantly think of yourself as a minority, alone, and woe is me, it's not going to feel good. But it doesn't have to be this way. Just change your attitude.

[jonny15]

Yeah, he could lose weight and work on social skills. We all could.

 

I am in the process of trying to lose weight.

 

He's not damaged or some repellent to women. He can get women but it's going to be hard. Change always is. But, hope is not lost. You guys have this defeatist attitude and it becomes a vicious cycle. You have a bad experience with women...it fuels the attitude...the attitude sours the next interaction...repeat.

 

But, it does not have to be like that.

 

Sorry, but I have that attitude, because i've never had success.

 

Not everyone can brush all the negative things off like they are nothing.

 

No two people have the same personality.

[jonny15]

I imagine sex with a prostitute would be basically like screwing a blow-up doll with lube. And the doll makes the normal "noises".

 

The doll doesn't make any sexay sounds tho. LOL

 

That and it wouldn't be as soft.

 

 

Think about having a relationship instead. If you spend all your time thinking about sex sex sex, no girl is going to want to go out with you.

 

I do think about having a relashionship.

 

And no, when I was virgin, I didn't spend my days obsessing about how to find someone. My life is NO different now that I've had sex versus when I didn't have sex. Honestly, the only thing that's changed is my hairstyle and I"m a little heavier.

 

Maybe it's different with you being a female, but males think about sex from the moment we hit puberty.

 

And that's before we know exactly know what sex is. And we keep thinking about it constantly.

[Sparkly Eyes]

 

Maybe it's different with you being a female, but males think about sex from the moment we hit puberty.

 

And that's before we know exactly know what sex is. And we keep thinking about it constantly.

 

Many females are exactly the same. In fact, most of us started masturbating way before hitting puberty.

[greywolf]

 

Maybe it's different with you being a female, but males think about sex from the moment we hit puberty.

 

And that's before we know exactly know what sex is. And we keep thinking about it constantly.

 

It's not different. I thought about sex before I hit puberty. I started masturbating long before puberty.

[Fudgie]

The doll doesn't make any sexay sounds tho. LOL

 

That and it wouldn't be as soft.

 

 

I do think about having a relashionship.

 

 

Maybe it's different with you being a female, but males think about sex from the moment we hit puberty.

 

And that's before we know exactly know what sex is. And we keep thinking about it constantly.

 

 

1) Then you can find something softer. There are lots of toys for men too.

 

2) JUST concentrate on getting into a relationship. Don't put the cart before the horse here.

 

3) Not true. TONS of girls think about sex a LOT. I've known girls hornier than most men, lol. It happens.

Also, not all guys JUST think about sex. It may be of extreme interest to them, but many aren't going to whine and moan and waste their life if they don't have something to bone. If they do, they need to get a grip, honestly.

 

The reason why YOU are obsessing about the sex/virgin issue is that you're putting too much emphasis on the physical act itself. Really, it's not a big deal. Once you have it, you'll think "oh this is it?". You'll have fun, but it's not full of fireworks, ok? What matters is the RELATIONSHIP, that is where all the emotions come from. You're also placing too much importance on the act, like somehow you've "failed" because you're a certain age and haven't managed to bone a girl (or anything) yet. Look, sex has NO bearing on who you are as a person. don't act like it does.

 

Your obsession has nothing to do with the fact that you're male.

[jonny15]

1) Then you can find something softer. There are lots of toys for men too.

 

I doubt toys could match the real thing.

 

That and i'd be worried it would hurt my junk.

 

Mines sensitive. LOL

 

 

 

3) Not true. TONS of girls think about sex a LOT. I've known girls hornier than most men, lol. It happens.

 

I'd like to meet one of those types of girls.

 

Also, not all guys JUST think about sex. It may be of extreme interest to them, but many aren't going to whine and moan and waste their life if they don't have something to bone. If they do, they need to get a grip, honestly.

 

Most probably do think about it all the time.

 

It's the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep at night.

 

It's a 24/7 thing.

 

The reason why YOU are obsessing about the sex/virgin issue is that you're putting too much emphasis on the physical act itself. Really, it's not a big deal. Once you have it, you'll think "oh this is it?". You'll have fun, but it's not full of fireworks, ok? What matters is the RELATIONSHIP, that is where all the emotions come from. You're also placing too much importance on the act, like somehow you've "failed" because you're a certain age and haven't managed to bone a girl (or anything) yet. Look, sex has NO bearing on who you are as a person. don't act like it does.

 

It is a very big deal.

 

It's a normal thing to do that I am not getting.

 

It's very big to me.

 

And it isn't just about the sex, it's everything that goes with the sex.

 

Kissing, touching, actually seeing a girl naked in person.

 

All of that goes into it too.