Is it wrong to lose your virginity to a prostitute?

[Sparkly Eyes]

I don't believe in "waiting for the right one" as in, waiting to have sex with the one person you plan to be with forever. I don't believe in soulmates either.

 

I believe in having sex when you want to have sex. For me, that means waiting for mutual trust and respect. For others, it's sooner or later. Just do what's right by you. You'll be waiting a long time if you're depending on that 'one'.

 

I'm sure MD and the hooker really trust and respect each other, so there wouldn't be a problem.

[randomgirl59]

WOMEN HAVE THE DEVIL IN THEM AND THEY IN GENERAL ARE STUCK UP, IF EVERY GUY IN THIS WORLD COULD STOP SUCKING UP ON WOMEN AND GIVEN WOMEN ATTENTION THEN WOMEN WOULD BE MISERABLE AND HOPING FOR SOME GUY TO TALK TO THEM AND THEY WOULD ACTUALLY BE CHASING AFTER US INSTEAD OF US IDIOTS CHASING AFTER THEM.....The sad part is that many men are so dense that they don't see the reality of the situation. They don't realise that women are taking them for a ride.

 

The best way to impress women is by ignoring them...

 

LOL! there! doesn't that feel so much better? THAT is why you aren't getting women, because THIS SHOWS. Just like it showed at that party were everyone was having fun and you screamed "boring" Women..no...HUMANS dont like to be around angry and miserable people. Does it seriously surprise you?

 

God, I dont understand why people still bother. I dont even know why I bothered! Curse my darn optimism in thinking that you'd have at least considered ANY of the many pieces of advice you've been given on ENA. You are so committed to blaming the rest of the rest of the world. Do you actually approach women, like actually make a consistent effort to get to know them, or do you spend all your time on ENA lamenting your virginity? Do you go out? do you go to singles events? Have you even moved out of your small town yet? How is it that there are MILLIONS of guys out there, normal, average guys with nothing particularly special about them with girlfriends, or who have at least had sex? who are you going to blame to answer that question?

 

By all means dont chase after women. But dont be surprised if they dont chase after you either. With your attitude it shouldn't be surprising.

 

The sad thing is, you CAN change your attitude if you really wanted to, you can change your outlook, and you could attract women if you let go of all this...I dont even know what to call it anymore. Bitter isn't even a strong enough word. People can change, but many dont because its so much easier to blame and hate.

[Fudgie]

Yeah, when I say "waiting" i meant like, when you feel it's right. Doesn't have to be for marriage or whatnot.

 

And actually, I like virgins. I'd take a virgin guy over a prostitute-visiting guy ANYDAY. I'm sure most women will agree with me.

 

Seriously, sex is just an act. It's not a coming of age thing, it doesn't make you any more of a man, and anyone who gives you crap about how little experience you have isn't worth your time anyway.

[Fudgie]

I'm sure MD and the hooker really trust and respect each other, so there wouldn't be a problem.

 

Unless it's "I RESPECT you're a bit of a hussy and I TRUST that you won't give me an STD."

[Cognitive_Canine]

As I said before, I don't find anything morally wrong with it as long as the person is of age and consenting.

 

But, I don't think it'll make a guy feel any better. He'll go from "a virgin' to 'a guy that had sex once and had to pay for it'. It's just another thing to be self conscious about.

[Sparkly Eyes]

As I said before, I don't find anything morally wrong with it as long as the person is of age and consenting.

 

But, I don't think it'll make a guy feel any better. He'll go from "a virgin' to 'a guy that had sex once and had to pay for it'. It's just another thing to be self conscious about.

 

I think it highly depends, by paying for prostitutes you could be supporting sex slavery. Do you know how many women around the world are getting trapped in this lifestyle at a very young age? It's horrifying. To me, it's like saying you don't find anything morally wrong with being a drug dealer, the person who buys the drug is consenting and old enough to decide.

 

I don't think there are many women who would have just loved to be prostitutes! It happened to them perhaps because of poverty, emotional or physical abuse at their homes, or they were forced into it. It's kind of a grey area, but I personally think it's morally wrong to support such industry.

[Fudgie]

Yeah, considering the abuse, I think it's morally wrong to have sex with a prostitutes considering all the pimps/children involved. BUT...if it were legal, so it's regulated, so...no kids, no pimps, nothing, is it still wrong? At that point, well, I can't make a moral judgment. All I can say is that I think it's gross and I'd never be involved with someone who did that, legal or not, because it shows their lack of respect for sexual acts and they have reduced it down to a mere physical reaction between 2 strangers without any intimacy or emotion at all. Yuck. I don't ever want someone who thinks like that.

[jonny15]

Why? Just to get your jollies off? Is it worth it? If you did at any age, most women will never date you once it's over with.

 

I hate how people make it sound like sex is some right of passage and that you HAVE TO HAVE it soon, no matter what. Ridiculous.

 

ANY guy who has sex with a hooker obviously doesn't hold sex in high regard, so I would never want to be with him. Period. There is no excuse.

 

If i'm a virgin in my 40's, that probably indicates that i'm never gonna get laid via any other way than a hooker.

[jonny15]

Frankly, I think you guys should be more worried about getting dates and finding great girls than having sex. Sort of putting the cart before the horse.

 

Your correct on that part....but they all seem far away and almost unrealistic in anything other than a fantasy right now.

[MD Geist]

You really think its all about attitude and the fact is that it does play a role to some degree but I can tell you this If I was to round up 100 guys and 1 of them was a millionaire and then I allowed women to basically pick and choose I gurantee they will all be seeking after that 1%er cause everyone else doesn't measure up. But the moment that guy dumps her than all the sudden the forgotten become good enough when she's got bills to pay and needs a father for her child. Then a guy who's not perfect becomes good enough.

 

How do I know this? Well from experience. I see it often, girls that otherwise didn't give a crap about me 10 years ago will find their way back into my life then they have a child and got out of a divorce and then they see a guy like me who has his S**t together and its like then they wanna give me the time of day. Why couldn't they have given me that shot 10 years ago when they had no kids and were debt free? It makes me question a lot with women. I used to think that being a nice guy and doing the right thing will land me a girlfriend and from what i've experienced its the total opposite. The stories of women dating guys with deep pockets or chasing after bad boys is very true and being a stuck up ^^^^^^ on top of that . Your post really justfiys my thoughts.

 

The sad part is that I want to believe differently but everytime I seek the truth thats what i commonly find. Everytime I see a guy thats 20+ and have not had a girlfriend I can't help but think he's tried his hardest probably but girls keep doing him wrong and its almost like a guy has to go through a form of manipulation in order for her to date him. There's a reason why nice guys finish last because they sure as hell don't finish first.

 

You should go out there and look at it from an inexperienced guys perspective. But I'm sure you don't struggle from the same things as I do. I'm sure there's plenty of men that you can choose from.

[Fudgie]

If i'm a virgin in my 40's, that probably indicates that i'm never gonna get laid via any other way than a hooker.

 

Why do you say that? Actually, a lot of people find love in their 40s. People get re-married all of the time. Why are you putting so much value on JUST having sex? Does it really make you better as a person? No. I agree with CC, concentrate on finding a relationship first, then worry about sex.

 

Your correct on that part....but they all seem far away and almost unrealistic in anything other than a fantasy right now.

 

If you get out and improve your confidence, it won't seem that way. Indulging in fantasies all the time isn't going to make you feel better. You need to go out and make it happen.

 

 

How do I know this? Well from experience. I see it often, girls that otherwise didn't give a crap about me 10 years ago will find their way back into my life then they have a child and got out of a divorce and then they see a guy like me who has his S**t together and its like then they wanna give me the time of day. Why couldn't they have given me that shot 10 years ago when they had no kids and were debt free? It makes me question a lot with women. I used to think that being a nice guy and doing the right thing will land me a girlfriend and from what i've experienced its the total opposite. The stories of women dating guys with deep pockets or chasing after bad boys is very true and being a stuck up ^^^^^^ on top of that . Your post really justfiys my thoughts.

 

You think that's true just for guys? It happens to girls too. Let's face it a lot (but not all) of young people (both male and female) are STUPID when it comes to relationships. I'm not being rude, that's the truth. Many are only looking at looks and will pass up anyone who doesn't make them feel all hot and bothered. It's about quantity, not quality. When you're young, not many people care if you're actually a good person, it's all about sex, sex, sex, exploration, and finding yourself.

 

The girls who are mature and have their crap together but weren't into "partying" will have their day come where they find a great guy. Same for guys too. People take time to mature. That's how it is.

 

You can either a) wait b) dumb down, look like a Jersey shore douche, be immature, and fit right in and get laid by the first who comes around c) be yourself and work hard to find someone NOW who fits you or d) date outside your age group and find people who appreciate you.

[Blue Spiral]

Well, go have sex with prostitutes if that is what you really strive for. Just know that most women would prefer a virgin to THAT type of guy. Good Luck!

 

You're absolutely right, they'd prefer a virgin to that type of guy. But they'd also prefer a sexually-experienced guy to a virgin, and there's no shortage of sexually-experienced men out there, so MD is out of luck. It's a straw-man argument--realistically speaking, a woman will never be in a situation where she has to choose between a guy that lost his virginity to a prostitute and a virgin. The real issue would be his lack of experience, and he's thinking outside-the-box to find a way to deal with it, as normal methods haven't worked thus far.

 

That said: I'm surprised you can't see the logic on this, MD! You should know from reading ENA that women like confidence, they don't want a guy to be a doormat...unless he's complaining about women, in which case he absolutely has to be a doormat, passive, etc. Men and women both struggle with double-standards when it comes to standing up for ourselves. Women that stand up for themselves in the "wrong" circumstances or the "wrong" way can be unfairly maligned as the b-word, just as men that do the same can be maligned for hating women.

 

MD is in an unfortunate and unusual situation in which the other gender has treated him fairly poorly (for his entire life, thus far). I recommend cutting him some slack, just as we'd do for a woman complaining about men after they treated her poorly (for her entire life, thus far).

 

With all due respect, MD...I realize you're dealing with unfair circumstances that you can't entirely control, but I do believe that you're hurting yourself with your extremely traditional views. The odds are already stacked against you, and you're kind of making them worse. But beliefs are beliefs, so if you tell me to forget it, I'll understand.

[jonny15]

Why do you say that? Actually, a lot of people find love in their 40s. People get re-married all of the time. Why are you putting so much value on JUST having sex? Does it really make you better as a person? No. I agree with CC, concentrate on finding a relationship first, then worry about sex.

 

How many of them get remarried to someone who's never so much as held hands before?

 

My relashionship experience doesn't go past masturbation.

 

 

If you get out and improve your confidence, it won't seem that way. Indulging in fantasies all the time isn't going to make you feel better. You need to go out and make it happen.

 

That is all easier said than done.

 

Improving my confidence might take a decade or two.

[Fudgie]

True, maybe women like a sexually-experienced man (personally, I don't care) but it's not like they are going to go "HMMM!!! Well now, I have 2 men I'm interested in. Johnny is 24 and he's still a virgin. He's really funny and awesome and cool but GAH why date a virgin when I can have Jimmy, who has had 10 women by now. Bye Johhny!"

 

They aren't going to rule him out on a single factor like that. Most likely, he'll get interested in the girl and get to know her, and her him, and they get into each other, and then she finds out. Unless he is wearing a sign that says "I'M AN UNHAPPY VIRGIN PLEASE DO ME" she's not going to know. And by then, she'll probably be attracted and interested in him and if she's worth her salt, she's going to be okay. It's not like he has AIDS or something.

 

A girl isn't going to dump a guy cold turkey if she's attracted to him JUST because she found out he was a virgin.

[Fudgie]

How many of them get remarried to someone who's never so much as held hands before?

 

My relashionship experience doesn't go past masturbation.

 

That is all easier said than done.

 

Improving my confidence might take a decade or two.

 

But why? I don't get it.

 

I used to have crippling social anxiety but I sought help (anxiety meds/therapy) and I'm much better now.

 

There are too many resources out there to help you for you to be miserable. Really, if you don't want to be alone, you don't have to be.

[jonny15]

You'd be surprised by how some people are today.

 

Some are very scared that a virgin would get attached to them, and think they are more trouble than they are worth.

 

And more females are into guys with experience, since it seems that some think that every guy should be some sort of sexual master and know exactly what he's doing without even having to be told.

[Blue Spiral]

True, maybe women like a sexually-experienced man (personally, I don't care)

 

With all due respect, isn't your boyfriend around 50 or so? I'm assuming that the "lack of experience" issue never came up with him.

[jonny15]

But why? I don't get it.

 

I used to have crippling social anxiety but I sought help (anxiety meds/therapy) and I'm much better now.

 

There are too many resources out there to help you for you to be miserable. Really, if you don't want to be alone, you don't have to be.

 

I don't have social anxiety.

 

I do get nervous and blush, but i'm nervous all the time anyways.

 

But that might just be the crazy in my talking about the last part. LOL

 

I know that I need confidence, but i've never had anyone or anything to help me boost it.

 

I don't believe that I can just make myself confident like some think.

[randomgirl59]

And your post justifies to me that no matter how much I dont want believe it, there are still a huge amount of men out there who view women as nothing but objects of pleasure. Then when they dont get this sex that they feel so entitled to, they hate women for it. If you and these types of men actually liked and respected women as human beings, you wouldn't be so quick to write them all off as manipulative gold digging * * * * * es.

 

I'm a woman. I'm average. I also dont have much experienced. I've never loved or been loved back. I've had one or two men interested in me, but I didn't reciprocate. The same way that you and every other person on the planet has at one point or another. I'm also no younger than you. As a woman, my time is limited because once I hit the evil age of 30, I'm considered old. As a man, you dont have a limit, maybe when you hit 50 or 60. I also had a bad boy type try to talk me into sleeping with him. But guess what...better prepare for it- I NEVER SLEPT WITH HIM OR SPOKE TO HIM AGAIN. Because I'm one of the many women out there who can make good decisions for myself. Men dont give me the time of day. So no, dont pretend like you know me or my situation.

 

I can easily make a thread stating men are all pigs who only have interest in petite, skinny, shallow bimbo women. I can blame men for having their priorities all wrong, blame the women for being stupid, blame blame blame, hate hate hate. I'll argue that from my experience, that's all they want. Because its true, that is my experience with most men my age. Then the other posters would say the same things I'm telling you. That I'm generalizing, being bitter, and am a man hater. If I can so easily write off all men just from what I've experienced with some of them, then what? logically I cant expect men to find me appealing since I'm being bitter and dont even appear to like men anyway. Why SHOULD they want to be with me? I do get bitter over this sometimes, so I can definitely sympathize in that aspect, however I dont let it drive me insane.

 

You have 2 options. You either change your attitude, move to a city, and find a childless woman. The other option is you continue living your life more and more miserable.

 

And you disregarded something else I mentioned. How come there are average, decent, non rich, non bad boys with girlfriends? Do you logically expect me and everyone else to believe that EVERY SINGLE MAN that has or had a girlfriend or sexual relationship is or was a bad boy?

 

I'm not denying that there are women out there who make bad decisions when it comes to men, but honestly, between a bad boy and a person that sits on a message board complaining about the evil wimmins who wont sleep with him...well, I dont see a difference between the two.

 

And do you honestly think that if I round up 100 women and 1 was a millionaire, guys wouldn't choose her? I'm sure they'd be thinking either two things: 1. Hey great now I dont have to worry about golddiggers! 2. Sweet, sugar mama!

 

I agree with you, it doesn't all come down to attitude. Luck, location, attraction etc plays a part. But your attitude is still very important.

 

And I hate to break it to you MD, but you dont exactly come off as a nice guy. I have never heard one nice thing in your posts. All I hear is your contempt for women, and anger at other men for having what you dont. And that post you made where you yelled "boring" at a party. Not nice. At all. And the rest of these self proclaimed nice guys, they aren't nice either. They just choose to take a quiet and manipulative approach. They dont actually like women, or care about being their friend, they're only acting "nice" to get the same thing bad boys want. Sex.

 

Nice people dont sit around talking about how nice they are. Nice people dont do nice things to get something in return, they do nice things because they want to be kind.

 

I am so sick of this nice guy/bad boy BS. How about just be confident and happy with yourself instead of throwing men into these labels and dwelling over it. Bad boys, nice guys....BOTH of them suck in my opinion, and if I meet any guy that proclaims he is one of these, he is immediately being written off.

 

As for the prostitution thing, do whatever you want. Deal with the possibility that you may get an STD. Deal with the consequence of possibly being caught by an undercover cop. Deal with the emptiness and guilt you'll most likely feel for being that guy. Deal with the possibility that the prostitute you are having sex with is being abused, is a drug addict or was sold into sexual slavery.

 

I'm done here.

[Cognitive_Canine]

But you're mad that these girls didn't date you when you were 14? Yes, they were immature at 14. They picked bad boys. That's part of being 14; immature, stupid, and taking everything as a learning experience.

 

You say you know from experience but you don't have much experience. You observe relationships which means you truly know nothing about the relationship, not like the two people involved do.

 

And, in my experience, my life and relationships have been nothing like posted here. I don't get asked out a lot. I don't have a ton of options. I have picked great guys. Only one of them wasn't a virgin too. And, he only had one partner before me. Sure as hell none of them were rich.

 

And, I'm not the exception. I'm the rule. Most women are like me. Most men are like me. Women and men aren't that much different when it comes to relationship. There are a lot of variences in individuals but no noticeable differences between the sexes. We, as humans, all want basically the same thing: security, acceptance, and respect.

[randomgirl59]

I've not seen one post on this board where a woman said men have the devil in them and accused them of the same things in every single thread they made.

 

I'm also willing to bet any woman that says similar things that MD does and on a consistent basis, she'd get even more flack than he does. I've already heard guys on here say to women "well enjoy being single and lonely" when she made a post with dating requirements.

 

This is typical "boys will be boys" mentality. Lots of people had it bad but dont say the things he does. Many people have tried being supportive and given him lots of great advice on how to improve his situation but he still refuses to take it. Do you know how annoying it is to come one here and read the same crap over and oven about how all women are golddiggers, bad boy chasers, shallow, etc. The worst is hearing that ALL women have it easier. No. Not at all. Or I'd be out with a boyfriend rather than hanging out a message board

 

The reason you guys might not understand where I'm coming from is because women rarely make posts that outright bash men. They usually just outline their problem and that's that. By all means though, prove me wrong and I'll take back what I said.

[Fudgie]

You'd be surprised by how some people are today.

 

Some are very scared that a virgin would get attached to them, and think they are more trouble than they are worth.

 

And more females are into guys with experience, since it seems that some think that every guy should be some sort of sexual master and know exactly what he's doing without even having to be told.

 

Remember what I posted above...you don't have to go around telling girls you're a virgin. It's not like you have an STD that you must disclose. It's not a deal breaker for MOST women. Really, I think if you get TO KNOW the woman first and you both get attracted to her, she's not going to dump over that. don't treat virginity like a freaking STD because it's really not. It's not as half as bad as you think it is.

 

Honestly, a lot of the virginity putting-down comes from other MEN. What do they know? Don't listen to them. They are just trying to puff their chests out like a little bird trying to look "bigger" than they really are. Remember, it's quality, not quantity. Girls worth your time won't write you off so quickly after they get to know you. If they do, well screw them, you dodged a bullet on that on, mister!

 

I don't have social anxiety.

 

I do get nervous and blush, but i'm nervous all the time anyways.

 

But that might just be the crazy in my talking about the last part. LOL

 

I know that I need confidence, but i've never had anyone or anything to help me boost it.

 

I don't believe that I can just make myself confident like some think.

 

See, I can read the insecurity right there. You don't BELIEVE in yourself. If you don't, who will? You need to take initiative now to improve yourself. And yes you CAN make yourself confident. In fact, only you can do that, no one else. People can make you feel good but true confidence comes from within, it comes from feeling secure with yourself as a person.

 

You don't have to be a supermodel to be confident by any means. I mean gosh, I'm an obese woman with acne on my face and a lot more hang-ups than most people. I'm by no means perfect or anything close to it. But you know what? I brushed myself off, got confident, and put myself out there. Took a while but I met a really great guy who loves me just as much as I love him. Despite my shortcomings, I KNOW that I am a good partner, and by that confidence, I work hard in a relationship and you know...I AM a good partner. I don't think my guy would like me if I had been so down on myself.

 

If you don't believe that you have anything to offer, who will? You are the most important person in your life, first and foremost. Work on yourself and improve and the girls WILL come, I promise you. But you'll need to get help. Find a therapist, or even someone to talk to. Join a social club, find friends (male or female) who stimulate you and encourage you to get out there, not sulk.

[greywolf]

WOMEN HAVE THE DEVIL IN THEM AND THEY IN GENERAL ARE STUCK UP, IF EVERY GUY IN THIS WORLD COULD STOP SUCKING UP ON WOMEN AND GIVEN WOMEN ATTENTION THEN WOMEN WOULD BE MISERABLE AND HOPING FOR SOME GUY TO TALK TO THEM AND THEY WOULD ACTUALLY BE CHASING AFTER US INSTEAD OF US IDIOTS CHASING AFTER THEM.....The sad part is that many men are so dense that they don't see the reality of the situation. They don't realise that women are taking them for a ride.

 

The best way to impress women is by ignoring them...

 

Let me ask you something, MD. What do you want from women? Your opinion of women is so low that I can't understand why you want anything to do with them. Why do you want to have sex with people who have the devil in them? Or have a relationship with people who are stuck up and only looking for attention? If women are that awful, then forget about them.

[bertdru]

I have a question - would you be ok with an arranged marriage? I know marriage is a big step and all but would you be open to an arranged marriage? Something is better than nothing right? I am in the same position as you and I feel I would rather wait for 2 more years and get married (when I would be twenty eight). Would you be open to that?

 

To be honest, regarding prostitutes, you should check out the high class ones. The high class girls are mostly from good families. For example, there are some women here who are from well to do families who do this job as a side thing. They charge very high amounts but they are supposedly worth it. I can't afford them btw.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I have a question - would you be ok with an arranged marriage? I know marriage is a big step and all but would you be open to an arranged marriage? Something is better than nothing right? I am in the same position as you and I feel I would rather wait for 2 more years and get married (when I would be twenty eight). Would you be open to that?

 

To be honest, regarding prostitutes, you should check out the high class ones. The high class girls are mostly from good families. For example, there are some women here who are from well to do families who do this job as a side thing. They charge very high amounts but they are supposedly worth it. I can't afford them btw.

 

Arranged marriage is typically something you're born into. MD can't arrange his own marriage, well, he could...but I don't think that counts. It's a cultural thing.

 

Even high class girls (which is honestly what I think of when I think of prostitute) and legal ones, probably won't give you the satisfaction you really want. It could be really disappointing and you could feel guilt or shame if you're doing this out of desperation rather than want. If someone really wants to go see a prostitute, they probably will find it an enjoyable experience if safe. But, it seems like these guys aren't too keen on it.