Is it wrong to lose your virginity to a prostitute?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Personality seems to not matter with women.

 

I've been overtaken many times for a robot that makes more than I do. It happens to me quite frequently actually.

 

The ones who have girlfriends are those who make good money or look good themselves.

 

My boyfriend doesn't have a job (full time student) and is unconventionally attractive. He's gotten attractive over time as I'm sure I have to him. Not a playboy looker though.

[Shepard]

Personality seems to not matter with women.

 

I've been overtaken many times for a robot that makes more than I do. It happens to me quite frequently actually.

 

The ones who have girlfriends are those who make good money or look good themselves.

 

Well, this will certainly ruffle some feathers here but I would suggest that you look outside the USA. You will find women who care about you for who you are and not what you can do for them.

[Longblackhair]

MD theist we are around the same age, so you are still young so I wouldn't panick just yet. If by the time you are around 28, and you still are in the same position you are in now, still a virgin, no potential girlfriend in sight..I think it wouldnt sound bad to try to have a girl who is a good and caring friend sleep with you to get the experience. If not, then a prostitute IMO would not be bad.

 

I feel that if you are someone who is well into your 20s and 30s and beyond & you are still a virgin not by choice, a prostitute is not a bad idea at all. Everyone who is telling you not to do it are obviously people who had have sex and had many opportunities to do so, or the rest are virgins by choice (mostly women). so you all cant really relate to him.

 

I notice that the men who are virgins past a certain age tend to become so depressed, unhappy and unfulfilled with thier lives. telling him not to seek a prostitute and just wait even longer is being narrowminded. i know seeking a prostitute is not the most conventional and ideal thing to do but in cases like this I do think its justified.

i watch the documentary and history channel and not all prostitutes are like the ones you see on the street corner all strung out. he can get a decent average to good looking escort who can make his first time an enjoyable expeirence. i feel like at a certain point what does he have to lose? he is already a virgin well past the average age, and most ppl dont lose thier virginity in the most ideal way. all types of adults have admitted to losing their virginity to ppl they didn't love in the backseat of a car, train, empty vacant houses, I've heard it all, and they turn out just fine and still get married and manage to have normal relationships

 

sleeping with a prostitute wont solve all your problems but it will be a nice experience for you cause i know how guys love sex so much. at least the anxiety and frustration about sex wont be as bad. i just dont think its good for anybody to wait too long. i know if i had a guy friend going through this i would have sex with him and be his first in a case like this.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well, this will certainly ruffle some feathers here but I would suggest that you look outside the USA. You will find women who care about you for who you are and not what you can do for them.

 

Wouldn't there be many women who just want a greencard or money?

 

USA women are not inherently more greedy or selfish.

[Fudgie]

Well, this will certainly ruffle some feathers here but I would suggest that you look outside the USA. You will find women who care about you for who you are and not what you can do for them.

 

That's an option for him but I disagree with the last part because of 2 words: green card.

 

It's as good as gold in some countries. That's why you have to be really careful when you date outside the US.

[MD Geist]

Well, this will certainly ruffle some feathers here but I would suggest that you look outside the USA. You will find women who care about you for who you are and not what you can do for them.

 

Where I live at its all about what you can do for them. Seriously!. I won't even get into the details because its so F-ed up how things work here. Its very rare that see a true loving relationship thats legit the rest its all about what can you do for them. I won't live outside the US because I haven't lived anywere else besides my current place, I would like to give it a try somewere else but with how things are going in my life at the moment I'm basically stuck for now.

 

I do want to be moved out of this hell hole by no later than 2012.

[Fudgie]

MD,

 

I really think it's time for you to move elsewhere then and see what happens. That may be part of the problem. The rest of the problem is your 'tude.

[Shepard]

Wouldn't there be many women who just want a greencard or money?

 

USA women are not inherently more greedy or selfish.

 

We who were raised in the West suffer from many issues that people in the East do not suffer from. I wasn't telling him to get a foreigner to come to him; I was telling him to go out into the world and discover a foregin girl, so the green card issue is irrelevant.

[MD Geist]

Very well put.

 

It won't solve all my problems(as it shouldn't) But it would solve a lot of them. Your right though a lot of the people who lose their virginity, most people will have had sex by now with their partners from the past and to me I just don't see much of a difference anyways other than the fact that you are paying for it. As far as meeting someone special like Jonny15 mentioned what if you don't?. Some of us won't.

[Sparkly Eyes]

We who were raised in the West suffer from many issues that people in the East do not suffer from. I wasn't telling him to get a foreigner to come to him; I was telling him to go out into the world and discover a foregin girl, so the green card issue is irrelevant.

 

I'm not from west myself...The only reason that women from east are more submissive is that they were raised like that. They were raised to accept gender differences and not have a say of their own. Thankfully, things are changing even in east and women are realizing that they are worth more than that.

[Shepard]

Very well put.

 

It won't solve all my problems(as it shouldn't) But it would solve a lot of them. Your right though a lot of the people who lose their virginity, most people will have had sex by now with their partners from the past and to me I just don't see much of a difference anyways other than the fact that you are paying for it. As far as meeting someone special like Jonny15 mentioned what if you don't?. Some of us won't.

 

I say go for it. Why hesitate? No one on this forum knows you or knows what is best for you, other than you, so go for it.

[Shepard]

I'm not from west myself...The only reason that women from east are more submissive is that they were raised like that. They were raised to accept gender differences and not have a say of their own. Thankfully, things are changing even in east and women are realizing that they are worth more than that.

 

That is not what I am talking about. I referring to their lack of feeling 'that they are missing out' on something, which is the reason why so many people jump from one relationship to the next, always thinking they can find something 'better'. My gf is not submissive BUT she is loyal and can see he found something good in me instead of just thinking...well, I can find even better!

[Longblackhair]

Why? Just to get your jollies off? Is it worth it? If you did at any age, most women will never date you once it's over with.

 

I hate how people make it sound like sex is some right of passage and that you HAVE TO HAVE it soon, no matter what. Ridiculous.

 

ANY guy who has sex with a hooker obviously doesn't hold sex in high regard, so I would never want to be with him. Period. There is no excuse.

 

How is there anyway for a woman to know if the person she is dating has been with a hooker? Do you think a guy is going to tell you if he has? lol

 

If he does sleep with one its only his business, and if he happens to meet the right girl, then he doesn't have to tell her. The past is the past. All she needs to know is that he is clean and will be faithful and commit to her.

 

I just wouldn't condemn the guys who are in situations like this at all. He's single, and not in a relationship with anybody, so no other parties feelings is gonna get hurt. Its not like he is the avg guy who have had plenty of opportunities to have sex but choose to sleep with prostitutes just because.

 

and to those who are telling men who are still virgins in their 40s to wait even longer because there 'may be hope' is just not realistic and closeminded advice. Perhaps that advice will apply to a guy, who has experienced love, sex marriage and relationships before--but they alll unfortunately just didn't work---yeah he can wait he's lived a bit--but defintely not to a 40 yr old who has never had sex, never found love, or anything like that, I just think that at least getting that sexual experience can do a little to some of these older guy's self esteem. it may not cure or solve thier problems but at least they wont be in total anguish

[Sparkly Eyes]

That is not what I am talking about. I referring to their lack of feeling 'that they are missing out' on something, which is the reason why so many people jump from one relationship to the next, always thinking they can find something 'better'. My gf is not submissive BUT she is loyal and can see he found something good in me instead of just thinking...well, I can find even better!

 

Actually, lack of greed is one of the signs of being submissive. You basically easily accept what life throws at you and don't go look for a better, more compatible version. Not sure if it is a bad or good thing tho. In some cases it's bad, in some cases it's more realistic.

 

Also, Give it some time. You are in honeymoon stage now, soon your true colors will be shown and then you'll see if it lasts or not.

[Shepard]

Actually, lack of greed is one of the signs of being submissive. You basically easily accept what life throws at you and don't go look for a better, more compatible version. Not sure if it is a bad or good thing tho. In some cases it's bad, in some cases it's more realistic.

 

Also, Give it some time. You are in honeymoon stage now, soon your true colors will be shown and then you'll see if it lasts or not.

 

Uhuh. My true colours, yes, I am secretly a cross between a vampire and a werewolf, through and through a monster. Very insulting. Fortunately I do not need to insult you back. Always looking for something better, more compatible and never finding it...yeah, well I am sure that is a great thing.

 

Would you mind revealing what country you are from?

[Longblackhair]

Very well put.

 

It won't solve all my problems(as it shouldn't) But it would solve a lot of them. Your right though a lot of the people who lose their virginity, most people will have had sex by now with their partners from the past and to me I just don't see much of a difference anyways other than the fact that you are paying for it. As far as meeting someone special like Jonny15 mentioned what if you don't?. Some of us won't.

Right. I do feel that if you do seek an escort I think it would benefit you to also get a therapist as well. You can do both.

 

But just from reading a lot of love/advice forums that have guys who are virgins well past their teens years, waiting longer until they find the one just does not ever get any better for them. They seem to get even more and more depressed and disconnected from their peers as they get older. You start to feel more isolated. I think at least having sex will help you feel like you can connect with other ppl in some way

 

 

so MD, do you have any male friends who know about your current situation? Perhaps they can help you out and give you a little push..maybe it can develop into a relaitonship or you might just end up having a great sexual experience.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Uhuh. My true colours, yes, I am secretly a cross between a vampire and a werewolf, through and through a monster. Very insulting. Fortunately I do not need to insult you back. Always looking for something better, more compatible and never finding it...yeah, well I am sure that is a great thing.

 

Would you mind revealing what country you are from?

 

Why did you take that as an insult? I didn't mean only you, but you and your girlfriend's...it happens in all relationships.

 

Sometimes it IS a great thing. Because you don't tie yourself to a bad relationship thinking you can't do any better.

 

Sorry, I don't say it here for privacy reasons.

 

MD,

 

Why do you think having sex with a hooker make things any better for you? it's just a one time sex...then again you'll have to be back in the dating game trying to get a girl. Or maybe you become a hooker addict! Do you really want to be that guy? Yes now you can claim your penis has been in a vagina before, but I doubt you can ever say to people whose vagina...and you still won't have any relationship experience nor any experience to actually please girls. You won't suddenly become a prize to girls once you try your chances with STDs.

 

It's really up to you to decide what to do. Just know that once you do it, you can't take it back.

[Fudgie]

Before I get into a sexual relationship with someone, I want to know the guy's sexual history. It may not be my business if we are just friends or something, but if I'm going to bed him, then YES, it is my business. Any guy who feels threatened and says that it is not my business is not worth my time.

 

It's not just about safety, I think the fact that a guy slept with a prostitute reveals a lot about how he actually feels about sex and I just don't agree with that attitude.

 

And I disagree with the self esteem thing. We had a poster a while back who decided to pay someone to lose his virginity and he regretted it. Everyone knows that prostitutes don't care about you or your sex, they are just making money. They will just say and do whatever.

 

At the end of the day, the guy remembers that he had to PAY a hooker just to get his jollies off. He's not going to feel good about it at all.

[Longblackhair]

Not very many people are going to be honest with you about their sexual history. Just realize that. And if a guy had sex with a hooker he is not going to tell you. The only thing you can hope is that he doesn't continue to sleep with them while he is with you and that he is STD-free. If I meet a guy, I really dont expect him to tell me each and every woman he has been with if at all. I didnt even think ppl honestly asked others to honestly tell them how many ppl they have been with, like they are going to get a truthful answer.

 

I have never heard of a guy getting all bent out of shape for paying for a hooker. Men are programmed differently when it comes to sex so I would think that he would have thicker skin than to get all emotional and bent out of shape about it. when you go to a prostitute right off the bat you know you are paying for a service and what you are there for, there is no miscommunication. i dont know why he expected things to be different

[Fudgie]

Well, I can only hope that they are honest. I really only date people who are more on the "loner" side and haven't had many encounters at all. That's how I do things. I am completely open and honest about my sexual past and I expect the same of the guy too. I watch carefully and if he hesitates/corrects himself/or is iffy about telling me, then I'm not going to sleep with him. The guys I have been with all have had under 4 partners total (and they are older) and usually have some sort of sexual dysfunction problem, so they aren't normal to begin with.

 

And yes, I think being clean is very important. I made my first boyfriend go to the clinic and get tested and show me the papers before I got into bed with him. I didn't do that with my current boyfriend because it had been 20 years since he had sex and he was tested after the last time...again, I saw the papers.

 

the guy got bent out of shape not so much because of the emotional aspect, but the self esteem issue. After it's all said and done, he looks and thinks "Wow...I had to PAY to lose my virginity" and he'll have to live with that forever. Plus, if he DOES end up finding someone, he gets to live with the fact that he could have waited for her but chose not to.

 

Like I said before, it's up to the guy. I still think it's gross and I'd never go anywhere near someone who takes part in that culture.

[The Wire]

You posted a response so you care to a degree.

 

Why should I be one of those "Some" that will end up going through life without sex? Thats some of us going to live in the ghetto for life, F that, I have my choice even if its the wrong one.

 

Then what are you waiting? Go pay for and get it over and done with if it's such an issue, it's not my money so it's no skin off my back.

[greywolf]

Personality seems to not matter with women.

 

I've been overtaken many times for a robot that makes more than I do. It happens to me quite frequently actually.

 

The ones who have girlfriends are those who make good money or look good themselves.

 

I would not be surprised if those women turned you down because of your personality and not how much money you make.

 

I think you really underestimate how important a good personality is.

[MD Geist]

I would not be surprised if those women turned you down because of your personality and not how much money you make.

 

I think you really underestimate how important a good personality is.

 

I really don't think some of you understand. I've seen girls date tools with zero personality and the only reason why they attempted to be with these idiots is because they would spoil them in someway.

 

You know what a lot of these other men usually have me beat in is the fact that they have a stable job with benefits. The guy can be a complete moron at the end of the day with zero personality.

 

Another thing as i've stated in the past women out here commonly go for military men, I won't bash them or go into detail cause some relationships are indeed legit and they do stay committed and faithful to each other but other times the guy can be controlling, aarogant, insecure, and yet women will just throw themselves at these guys. What can they offer that I can't? It falls under the two things I've mentioned before, good looks and good pay, its kind of hard to compete with that when there's an abudance of that out here and the women will always have more options to choose from. Further more my biggest pet peeve is when a guy gets deployed and his girlfriend or wife begins acting single again. I've seen it happen throughout my whole life while living here to friends and family.

 

I also know some bad boys with terrible personalitys yet they pull more women in than anyone who's honest? Is there a form of manipulation that i'm not getting here?

 

One in which I knew was a punk, very low self esteem, making up excuses not to step up and be a man, always negative. Yet he's got a girlfriend and his been with her for the last year. I don't understand.

 

I think I have probably one of the best personalities anyone could have, I have a lot of qualities and yet I'm always being over looked by someone else who's lesser of a man who plays games or a person who just has more money than I do. I'm sick and tired of it, I'm sick of the game playing and excuses. I quit trying to even date and now I just don't care. I think whatever I do both good or bad won't make any different in my life because I'm not perfect like women want me to be.

 

They say be honest and you do and yet women won't apprciate that instead they are more receptive to a guy who's clearly going to give them the run around and maybe manipulate them down the road into doing something they will regret for the rest of their lives. Then when that chapter is over in their lives and they are heart broken and lost and need help then all the sudden I'm good enough.

[greywolf]

 

I think I have probably one of the best personalities anyone could have, I have a lot of qualities and yet I'm always being over looked by someone else who's lesser of a man who plays games or a person who just has more money than I do. I'm sick and tired of it, I'm sick of the game playing and excuses. I quit trying to even date and now I just don't care. I think whatever I do both good or bad won't make any different in my life because I'm not perfect like women want me to be.

 

I'm sorry. I wish there was a more tactful way to word this, but I have to disagree. Your negative attitude is really unattractive, and your belief that women owe you something can really be a turn off.

 

Looks may interest a woman at first, but it is personality that makes her stay. And those women that you see with jerks are not the type of women you want to be with. If you want to be in a relationship with the type of woman who is attracted to a man with a good personality, then that's the type of guy you've got to be. And it may take longer to find that woman, but that's because it always takes longer to find something of quality.

 

I think my bf is the hottest guy in the world. Is he really? Of course not, and there are a lot of women who wouldn't find him very attractive. But because I love his personality so much, it affects the way I see him physically.

[Fudgie]

MD,

 

You will always see jerks with tons of money getting all the girls they want. This is a part of life. You can't change that. I can guarantee you though that their relationships probably aren't that healthy or even long-lasting. As soon as things get rocky, BOOM, the babes are gone. Is that the sort of relationship you actually want to be in?

 

I think the reason why you aren't getting girls has NOTHING to do with your looks or money. It's your personality. You're being very negative toward women and everything in general and it shows. You said before you were a nice guy. You're not. It sounds like you're being "nice" trying to get girls. Nice guys (true ones) aren't nice just to get women, they are nice because they like to be nice.

 

Stop thinking women owe you something because we don't. No one owes you anything. Life is what you make of it. Instead of being bitter, improve yourself and your personality and girls WILL come. Staying bitter and calling women "of the devil" is going to do you no good.

 

I don't understand your feeling of women "owing" you something. Where does that come from?