Would you consider a 25 year old girl who has been with 20-25 guys a ???

[AlwayzRight]

Kind of like this girl...been sort of seeing her and she told me this last night. She has had 2 long relationships..one a year and one for two years. She also told me she has had 2 three-somes. One with her best friend and another guy friend and one with 2 guys when she was in college. The majority of her partners was when she was in college. She tells me she is not like that any more and she is not proud of her past. I kind of dig the girl but cant get the visions out of my head of her past. I slept with the girl the first night that I met her. I kind of have trust issues as it is and she has more guy friends than girl friends. Would you consider this girl a ? I am considering moving on just cause I cant stop thinking about it.

[Puddincup]

I can't read the word you're using but no, she's not a "bad girl". The older you get the more people you're with. You're not in high school anymore so get over the labels. If you like her, then keep seeing her. Stop judging her.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I wouldn't label her anything.

 

I'd worry about the person she is now.

 

As long as a guy is clean, I don't care what he did in his past. It's all about his present behaviour.

[Cheetarah]

The past is not a necessary indicator of the future. If the price for her being honest with you about what's in her past is grounds for you to pass judgment, then yeah. Leave her be, she can find someone that will accept her. I'm sure you've got some things you're not so proud of lurking in the past. Worry about who she is NOW, the behaviors she's exhibiting in the present. Not who she was then.

[FathomFear]

You likely wouldn't lose respect for a male friend who slept with 25 people by the age of 25. This, like always, is just a sexist double-standard. There's nothing wrong with being a woman who likes sex, nor does it mean she is any less capable of monogamy.

 

And I'm not sure if you ever went to college or not, but it's not uncommon for these to be rather sexually active years. Not shocking considering colleges are full of hot/smart people of both sexes.

[RelaxByWater84]

We all make decisions that we are not proud of. It seems to me that she is trying to be honest with you. She may have told you those things so that if something came up in the future you wouldn't be floored. And also she may have told you so you would know her history and if you had a problem with it your time and her time wouldn't be wasted on a relationship that you both would get only pain and heartbreak.

[Distant]

If you feel like maybe things will work then go for it. Otherwise let her go. If her past really bugs you then dont be with her. If she isnt proud of it then she isnt. Otherwise she is with you and only you if you 2 decide to go further.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I don't think you should judge her for it or call her labels. But if her values are different from yours, then you can move on, just don't be a hypocrite!

[HeartGoesOn]

You certainly seem to be judging this girl quite harshly, yet you had no problem sleeping with her on the first night that you met her.

[Empathy]

I think there is one key piece of info you guys are missing. She slept with him the first night they met. Maybe that part of her really isn't just a part of the past after all....

 

Don't get me wrong. I used to be a bit of a floozy myself and I'm not proud of it. But my fiance and I didn't sleep together the first night we met and I made sure of that to prove to myself that I am not who I once was.

 

If she's not proud of her past casual sex life, then why is she still sleeping with people she's just met that night?

[Empathy]

You certainly seem to be judging this girl quite harshly, yet you had no problem sleeping with her on the first night that you met her.

 

This is a good point as well...

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You certainly seem to be judging this girl quite harshly, yet you had no problem sleeping with her on the first night that you met her.

 

Bingo! This is what jumped out at me as well.

[jimthzz]

You both are people who will sleep with someone on a first date and she has told you of her large number of sex partners.

 

The thing about women is that they treat admissions of "the number" like how much of an iceberg is visible. About 10 percent is visible.

 

Why is this?

 

Because men judge them for it.

[AndiD]

I don't know any women who do that, personally.

[heaven_apart]

I don't know any women who do that, personally.

 

Admit their number?

[AndiD]

No, lie about their number.

[vertigoxo]

The past is the past. What I am concerned just how quick she was in getting you in bed with her. Makes me feel iffy about her, to be honest. I'd move on if I were you.

[Cognitive_Canine]

No, lie about their number.

 

If they do lie, it's to avoid situations like these.

Unfortunately, there is a bad double standard about these things.

 

I wouldn't lie about my number either. When it comes to my sexual past, I thankfully have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

But, a lot of guys will call a woman bad names and completely dismiss her because of hers, even if it's buried history. Ashamed or unashamed, they will be judged unfairly. I understand the lying, but I don't condone it.

[caveman91]

If she is STD free and your read is that she is capable of commitment then what's the difference?

[AndiD]

But, a lot of guys will call a woman bad names and completely dismiss her because of hers, even if it's buried history.

 

So they can lie to be with a nasty guy like that, and then later wonder why they're unhappy in their relationship. Awesome.

 

I know you're right, some people must do that. It just seems like a really dumb thing to do.

[Cognitive_Canine]

So they can lie to be with a nasty guy like that, and then later wonder why they're unhappy in their relationship. Awesome.

 

I know you're right, some people must do that. It just seems like a really dumb thing to do.

 

Oh, I agree. I would never want to be with a guy like that and I'd be upfront with a guy to weed the bad ones out.

 

I was just saying that I understand why some women do this and I sympathize. Perhaps they feel that all men will judge them and it's their only way to get a guy to stick.

[Philos]

The highest the number sounds to me, the more and more I see myself just as kind of a 'notch' on the list.

 

I wouldn't consider her for sex because 25 people is a huge STD flag, and I wouldn't consider her for a relationship because 25 people is well, 25 people. I don't think they were all flings. If someone told me that had been through 10 long term relationships I don't think I'd enter one with them.

[Clarity]

I just wouldn't see myself being compatible with someone who takes intimacy that lightly.

[maddyfaye]

The past does reflect her character and I would definitely not commit to her or consider her a serious long term keeper. I am surprised she admitted it as most gals never would. ( the one thing almost all lie about)

[Empathy]

The past does reflect her character and I would definitely not commit to her or consider her a serious long term keeper. I am surprised she admitted it as most gals never would. ( the one thing almost all lie about)

 

Some people really do change though. I just don't think this one really has.