Empathy

I also want to make it clear that I DO NOT love him. lol. I said that I had feelings that presage love. Meaning I have the foundation; that love will be possible in the future. Bestrongbehappy, everything you're saying expresses other underlying feelings concerning this situation. Especially this I've actually asked him if that might be a possibility and, of course, he denies it. Its still a fear of mine. I appreciate ALL of your responses. I guess I just need to see it as a little "tough love."

I'm not blaming him for anything. I never gave any indication that I thought he was at fault for any part of this. If anything, I appreciate his honesty. I also didn't go into this relationship expecting him to be the "antidote." It just happened. I'm sure that none of you intend to come off as being harsh, but I sort of feel as though I'm being attacked here. I know that my feelings are not rational. But I can't change the way I feel. If that were easy for anyone to do, then 95% of us wouldn't be here.

I understand that its only been 2 months but there is a reason why I've found myself caring so much for him in such a short period of time. He's the first person that has made me forget about the pain of losing my ex in 2 years. I went 2 years of agony and when I found him he was like the antidote. No one has been able to do that and I don't want to lose it. I suppose I put him on a pedestal because of it. But its hard to bring him back down. He's done more for me than most people can realize. Thats where my feelings come from. He's changed my life and made it lighter...until now of course.

It doesn't really make sense... Can you be more explicit, please?

This is a conversation I just had with a friend of mine. I'm in black he's in blue. I figured you could get most of the whole picture better this way. 2 months into a relationship, when a guy tells you that they don't care for you as much as you care for them and they don't see themselves ever reaching your level, does that usually mean there is no chance they ever will? Can guys gauge their feelings like that so soon? of course sorry i was away No, its fine. He gave me the option to stay with him on the small chance that his feelings might increase. not likely. Or to sever it now so that the pain won't be prolonged. I didn't have the will power to take the latter. its a better choice [and you know it] But after we had our talk, and I was delirious from lack of sleep, I asked him if we'd gotten anywhere.Hhe kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "we made progress." What did that mean? i dont know babe What does it sound like? could mean a few things. could mean he likes you more. could mean that yall have made progress in that yall are communicating now I actually made him cry last night. Something he never does. I keep thinking that maybe he cares for me more than he realizes. But is it more likely that I'm just deluding myself? it is possible you are seeing only what you want to see I just care so much for him already and I don't want to let go. I've always been one to hold on to that miniscule chance. you said the same thing 2 days after you met him No, I didn't. may i be a bit harsh? Go for it. i think you have been very lonely and by yourself so long, that you have latched onto the first guy thats paid you attention. HAHAHA! Are you serious? luckily, hes a pretty nice guy Do you know how many guys have paid me attention over the past 2 years? no He's the only one that has caught MY attention. I had so many to choose from, but I chose him. No one else did it for me. well, guess ill get rid of that theory then So, he'll probably never feel strongly for me then? i cant honestly say. but i will say that if hes told you this directly, then yes. a guy would never let down an emotional barrier like that unless he was very serious So...since I chose to stay, that means I'm in for a whole world of hurt in the end...right? quite possibly. the thought that the entire time you were wasting your life with someone that didnt want you. okay, im sorry, that sounded REALLY harsh didnt mean it to No, it didn't. ive ended a few of my relationships on happy notes. in fact, the last 4. This wouldn't be on a happy note. I'd be torn up about it for a looooong time. i meant happy between you and him I already have the feelings that presage love. i can tell And they're real. I think these feelings are more real than I've ever experienced. Because in my last relationship with "jack", I had lust confused with love. aye, that can happen The more sexual we were, the more I "loved" him. But with "bob", we don't have sex often at all, and I can feel my feelings for him getting stronger. Although, I do know that in the end, with "jack", I truly did love him. hes a good guy. a bit of the "inside" type, but i approve of him. Right now, it feels as if I want him more than anyone I've ever wanted in my life. i know that feeling is there a deep-rooted thought that its not going to work, that its a bad idea, that sort of thing? Of course. At this point I know that it won't work more than I feel it could. never ignore those deep feelings I'm not ignoring them. I just want him too much to act on them.

I contracted molluscum contagiosum 2 years ago. I honestly don't know how I got it (unless I got it from a towel while I was staying in the nasty barracks while visiting my boyfriend at the time). For most people it does go away. Unfortunately, for a few, the virus is relentless and never goes away. What I did was use a needle, some iodine, (dip the needle in iodine and puncture the lesion and then cover the lesions in iodine) and I took 800mg of cimetidine (over the counter heart burn medication that has been found to boost the immune system and work as an antiviral) for a couple of months. The problem with this infection isn't that it hurts or anything, its just annoying. They're painless but not pretty and they spread like wild fire! And yes, they are relentless. But if your immune system is healthy enough they will go away. How long has he had this? It usually takes up to 2 years at the MOST to clear up. Anyway...I've been in a sexual relationship with someone for a month now and if he shows no sign of having it now, I doubt he ever will. I suspect I've kicked that nasty little virus. Good luck to you!

I actually have said, "Good night, Sweety." To which he responded, "Later." Haha. We've only been seeing each other for a month. I just don't like it...it makes me feel like he thinks he's talking to a friend. I certainly hope he doesn't kiss all of his other friends...

Is it wrong for me to be irked when the person I'm seeing right now responds to my "Byes" and my "Good night and sweet dreams" with "Peace" or "Later?" It just seems so darn impersonal and it more than rubs me the wrong way. Whats the deal here? [Edit] I just wanted to also add that I'm afraid to mention this to him because I don't want to come off as nagging. I've made little "jokes" about it to him, hoping that he'll at least take the hint but nothing has changed.

I've never had a job before. This was only my second interview EVER. lol. Ha! None taken. Its a compliment. =P

Or have they ever worked for Victoria's Secret? I went for a job interview today and was told that in order to be "part of the team" I need to successfully complete a 10-15 minute telephone assessment. I'm extremely nervous about this assessment because its all automated and I only have one chance to do it. For example, if I mess up one number while typing in my social security number I don't get the job. My question here is, for those of you who work for them or have worked for them in the past, what kind of questions should I be expecting on the assessment so I don't screw up? The only thing they tell you is to have the social security number ready. I tried googling this inquiry to no avail. Although I know coming here is a stretch, it was the only other thing I could think of. Hope you guys can help!

I did but now I can't afford him anymore. Besides he didn't really help me at all. We usually ended up talking about books. Was a waste of money.

You're probably right, Reluctant. But some say that "the best way to get over an old guy is to get under a new one." And in my case I don't mean that LITERALLY. I don't think that to get over someone you need to just sleep around. Its just a funny way of saying that some people can't move on until they find someone else. After 2 years of trying to pick up the pieces on my own I've figured out that I'm just one of those people. I need to be shown that there IS something better out there than what I had with my ex and in order for that to happen someone better needs to enter my life. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Thanks for your kind words, need2bme. But I'm thinking the optimistic perspective just isn't in me anymore. I find that I was actually happier when I had my guard up and believed that there was no hope. I let my guard down and I become prey to illusions. I don't think I'll ever be good enough for the ones that can make me forget about my ex.

...after my ground shattering break-up I've met only 2 people that have made me forget about that insensitive loser and both of them have sweet talked me, lead me on, and in the end ultimately decided that I'm just not good enough. And its always after I've let my guard down. This guy recently...I really thought I had him. I really thought he was going to be the end of all this bs. But, yet again, I was sorely mistaken. Ding! Ding! Ding! Let round three of pain begin!

Well, it looks like I'm left with exercises. Which I can't do since I haven't had ANY energy. I'll have to get started on my BOOB exercises as soon as I get better. lol

Scout, you're MY hero.

Do any of you ladies have any tips for drooping breasts? I'll admit I don't wear a bras NEAR as much as I should. Lately almost never. So I've noticed that they're starting to look rather unattractive. Have any ideas other than a breast lift and push-ups? You think if I start wearing a bras they might go back up a little bit? Thanks guys.

You don't know him like I do. You don't know what he put me through. And obviously I could have said worse. And of course I wanted him to know I still hurt. As I said in my original post I was not thinking clearly. Besides I wanted him to know that I'm still hurt and pi**ed and I wanted him to leave me alone. He got the message. He didn't write back. Even if he did get a little satisfaction out of it at least I know I got a little too.

Screw this guy. Don't ever talk to him again. If he treated you that way he deserves to stew in his own guilt if only for a little while. He made his hell so let him burn in it until you're ready to forgive. And you don't even have to forgive. Just listen to your intuition. Remember, a woman's intuition rarely fails.

Thanks for all the support and laughs guys. You just made my day a little bit better. As far as him missing me? No way. I know he doesn't miss me. As a matter of fact, the first thing I did was check his myspace to see if he had broken up with that hussy and he hadn't. He's still madly in love with her. I think I have a feeling as to why he messaged me and I'm pretty darn sure my intuition is right. It usually is. And my instinct is telling me that he wants to suck me back into his life so that he can let me know how great it is. Like the time he IMed me a loooong time ago so he could intentionally and subtly make it known to me that his girl friend is Russian. So not only is she better than me (according to you) but she's exotic? NICE. Yeah. It was CLASSIC and very, very hurtful. He knew exactly what it would do to me so he did it. I don't know for sure. But I do know that he is not coming back into my life to be nice or because he misses me. Something is up. And if you guys have any ideas as to what else it could be feel free to let me know.

Alright first I just have to apologize for even bringing myspace into this. I HATE it when I come here and see myspace thrown into a post. No offense to anyone here. Sorry. Anyway, I posted a blog on myspace that simply stated that I got into a nursing program. Well, I honestly had NO IDEA that my ex was reading my blogs. Last time I talked to him he treated me like I was scum of the earth and wanted nothing to do with me. Ever since we broke up (he left me for someone else over a year and a half ago) he's NEVER contacted me first. If there ever was any contact I was the one who initiated it. Well, you can imagine my shock and absolute HORROR to find a message from him in my inbox today. My heart rate dropped and then shot up! His message was as follows: "Hey you. Just read that you're going to nursing school. Just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you. I hope that you find something that makes you happy. Haven't talked to in a while either=P.Hope everything is fine and going well. Send me a message sometime. I miss talking to you about random stuff. Take care of yourself!" To which I replied (remember I wasn't thinking clearly. All the blood was in my feet!): "Are you drunk? Look. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to protect myself. Don't ever message me again. I'm glad to know that things are going well for you. Glad to know that you're alive and all that goodness. But you just completely ruined my day. Take care of yourself." I miss talking to you about random stuff? * * *? The last time I talked him (about a year ago. I was trying to get something worked out with him) he was short and rude and then ignored me. And if that message that I sent back wasn't bad enough I'm trying SOOOOOO hard not to send something else. I've built up a dam to keep my emotions from him and then he sends me that message and knocks it down. I'm trying so hard to divert the waters from him. Jeeze! Talk about ripping a wound wide open! I'm so MAD because I still love him too much. What an ***. I don't know. Something just seems fishy to me.

I don't have his snail-mail address. I'm pretty sure he got his own apartment with that Russian hussy.

Actually, he really doesn't have many good memories of his father which is the main reason I want to send them. But, yeah, you're right. There is that part of me that sees it as an excuse to contact him. Even though I DO NOT want a response from him. He's VERY capable of being cold. And he dislikes me immensely. I'd expect a negative response from him more than I would a positive one. But I know that he would appreciate it later.

Well, I've been resisting this strange urge to let him know how much I still love him which is a definite no no. I'm afraid that if I open the door enough to send those emails to him I'll end up uncontrollably busting it wide open and professing my still undying love for him. Pathetic, eh?

Hey guys. I'll be direct. I've been broken up with my ex for the past year and a half. I've been engaging in strict NC ever since (of course I had my slip ups but don't we all). He went into the military while we were dating and then his father passed away about a year later. While he was in boot camp his father and I emailed eachother a few times. Well, I thought they'd been deleted...until I was going through my incoming/saved mail. I had NO idea that aol had been saving all of my previously read emails since 2003! Well, I found the emails from his father and was wondering if maybe I should send them to my ex as a way to give him something more of his father. They were short and sweet emails but all of them gave mention of my ex. I'm still not over him. Nowhere near it. And when I discovered those emails I was floored and hurt all over again. I'm so torn up by those emails now that I can't study, which was what I had intended to do when I got online. So Should I? Or shouldn't I?