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Philos

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  • Birthday 05/15/1987

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  1. Brie - still miss and love you close to 2 years later. It's a different love though. The love that will never be rekindled again, and it only hurts when I think about the lost opportunities. I am sorry. Anne - I am sorry for leaving you. I just can't deal with that emotional stuff. Future - I hope I meet a nice girl sometime when the time is right.
  2. Theres no reason for any of it. I'm still not convinced that things are better off for you or for me. I have a strange feeling I'm going to look back, 20 years from now, and not wonder if it wasn't just better that we kept together and fulfilled the role of loved one in each other's lives, just been done with the search and the lonliness. But... things are never easy. You played the hand you had and I lost all my chips. Where you are now, I know not. I don't know where I am now either. Maybe in a few years I can look back and link this period of my life up in a chain of forward progress, or things will be better or alright. I'll never understand until I get into a relationship that I end up breaking off myself. I just want someone to love. I loved you. I don't know what you wanted.
  3. This ones for you, Briessa. Hard to believe... Coming on what... 160 days? Sigh... I should have stayed off this site..... first time I've cried in a couple weeks. I miss you a lot... I'm still angry and sad and emotionaly at what you did. Sigh... Life just seems so stupid at times and so pointless.... Wake up, walk on a treadmill shower, go to my internship because school has let out... come home. Play games. Watch a T.V Show or something... goto bed. Do it again. And again. I can only guess what your life is like right now... Wake up, get ready, goto work, get off, go see your new love... Thats one of the things that stings the most... I remember playing skipbo with you on the futon at, retrospectively, the highest point of our union.... Now it pains me to know that I'll never play skipbo with you again... but that you could have played it with someone else already... Or 2 guys, who knows.
  4. Another day here. Soon to be another day gone. Another day without you here, soon to be another day with you gone. You've left me but still I haven't left you. Sigh. When that day comes... I'll be happy again. But... today I am sad.
  5. This ones for you. Tough... been almost 5 months... I'm starting to heal and move on now but. Still think about ya. Just tough... I used to love you... I still do a little bit. I value myself now more than I did the first 4 months. I think you missed out on me. I stayed with you and protected and comforted you. Ahhh... Maybe you won't regret it. Who knows. What is done is done. I just have a whole slew of days before meeting the next woman of my dreams.... how many days... who knows. I hope you get help for your problems, briessa. I've gotten help for mine. I'm going to rock the * * * * out of my next relationship. Then I'll look back, think about you... and then hug the beautiful woman sleeping next to me and remember to thank her for loving me and then tell her how much she means to me. My experience with you will help in the next relationship, and I thank you for that. Hard to believe we'll never speak to each other or see each other again... I miss going over to your place... Bleh. * * * * this edit, I don't want to miss it.
  6. The Three Musketeers is an excellent adventure book, I plan on buying it and rereading it sometime soon since its been about 7! years. I'm starting on John Adams (David McCullough) now, with a Wittgenstein intro book and an Abraham Lincoln biography both in the wings.
  7. You quit on us. You replaced me. I loved you. Hope you're happier.
  8. YOU abandoned me and the relationship and didn't ever try to work anything out. You never told me you were unhappy, you never tried to work anything out. The relationship was a vehicle for something beautiful and YOU totaled it and then hitched a new ride. I am deeply emotionally scarred now. I have no wish to ever talk to you again. Have a nice life.
  9. One day you're going to hurt like I have, not just from a breakup but probably from a lot of life-changing events that occur near each other like in my case. And why? Its sad. Now I feel I know the relationship story and who did what wrong and why.... but it doesn't matter now. It wouldn't have probably mattered the day you broke up with me. I wish you would have picked fights with me or been more assertive earlier on about not feeling understood or what you wanted in the relationship. We had a beautiful relationship once, and as we changed... I liked what we had and you didn't, but you never broke out of our routine to tell me. Our communication broke down, you became frustrated and then dumped me. Theres no * * * * ing reason for any of it. Theres no reason why you should be fat and happy, ignorant in the mistakes you made in the relationship and feeling vindicated... and that I should be in ruins right now. I feel good that I'm learning all the things I have about relationships and communication and life in general, but it is so painful.... maybe one day you'll understand about our relationship, maybe, but whats the point. We'll never see each other again, and we had such a beautiful thing that we * * * * ed up because I neglected it and you grew frustrated and never told me until the day you broke up with me. Our lives are no longer connected in anything except memories. Our lives will never reconnect. It is so. It is sad. There is no reason for it.
  10. It's been almost 10 weeks, and I still think about you and miss you. * * * * you. You dump me abruptly, never communicated * * * * to me the entire relationship. I get screwed because you can't communicate. And then you tell me you're seeing someone already only a few weeks later. Why do I still care about you, what you're doing, and what you've done? It would have been easier on me if you had died rather than dump me. At least it would have been a clean cut. I need to get past you. I need to meet some new people. I need to forget you. You'll go on and * * * * up new relationships just like you screwed ours, because you couldn't communicate what you wanted and then blamed it on me not knowing or being able to give you what I didn't know you want. You kicked me out of your life 66 days ago. I want to kick you out of my life now.
  11. Briessa, I can't love you. You don't love me. I'm sorry I pushed you away like that. I wish you had told me =/ I hope you're happy in your new relationship. I need to move on. You want me to, I know, and I want to too... I promise I'm changing. The next girl won't suffer like you did by my neglect.
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