Would you consider a 25 year old girl who has been with 20-25 guys a ???

[The Archer]

I don’t think having 25 partners by the age of 25 is necessarily anything to be worried about.

 

I had a friend that had had 18 sexual partners by the time he was 18! That’s 18 partners in two years. As far as I know he is now happily married.

[jengh]

It wouldn't bother me at all. My boyfriend has been with a LOT of women and I don't care at all. As long as he's clean (he is) and faithful (he'd better be), that's all that matters. I, myself, have been with quite a few people as well though so I don't know if that makes a difference. It shouldn't.

[Sparkly Eyes]

It wouldn't bother me at all. My boyfriend has been with a LOT of women and I don't care at all. As long as he's clean (he is) and faithful (he'd better be), that's all that matters. I, myself, have been with quite a few people as well though so I don't know if that makes a difference. It shouldn't.

 

It actually does for most people I know. The ones I know who have been with less people also wants someone who has been with a few people.

[greywolf]

It actually does for most people I know. The ones I know who have been with less people also wants someone who has been with a few people.

 

I think that has more to do with security issues.

[uncomfynumb]

My current BF was in a traveling band in the 80's when sex, drugs, and rock n roll ran rampent! I know he was a * * * * but he hasn't admitted it fully. I've been around the block a time or two myself but I think he has been around more than me so I like to tease him about it.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Think of it like this... In ten years, will you care the same?

[Sparkly Eyes]

I think that has more to do with security issues.

 

Not necessarily. You can relate so many things to insecurity if that is the case. We are all insecure then if we can't be in a polygamous relationship.

 

For me, it's just that I want someone who is as picky as me. Just like anything else, I want someone who can be a match for me. If you wanna bang anything that moves, you're not the right guy for me.

 

I think you can't just go tell people they are insecure if they have some standards, just like you can't go and say skank or say they have family issues to anyone who has different standards.

[LonelyPast]

I have to agree with what worriedgirl just said.

 

As a side note: Somebody could just as easily be called insecure for worrying about being judged for their number in the first place!

[Sparkly Eyes]

I have to agree with what worriedgirl just said.

 

As a side note: Somebody could just as easily be called insecure for worrying about being judged for their number in the first place!

 

The thing is, insecurity does apply to some people, or the fact that they are jealous that they could not sleep with as many people. But I'm not sure if it can apply to most women. If a reasonably attractive woman just has sex as a goal, she can sleep with many guys, hot ones at that too. I think this also holds true for many good looking men. Some of my friends who did online dating slept with A LOT of guys during a few years. It's not really a hard thing to do if you really want to.

[noneStar]

I'm not sure.

 

If you don't "judge" people by what they've done.....then what can you judge them by?

 

How do you assess a person's character without historical information? Maybe how many people you sleep with isn't relevant, maybe it is. I don't know.

 

I wouldn't call this woman anything but at least honest.

[lostnscared]

Honestly 25 sexual partners is a TON to me. And I would say something else-but don't want my post to get deleted. Let's just say I can't fathom having sex with that many different people--I wouldn't feel that great about myself if that were the case.

I would not date someone seriously that had been with that many people by the time they were 25 either... I've only been with one partner because of my views regarding sex, and I would not be with someone who had different values.

[lostnscared]

I've only ever had one sex partner.

 

I think 25 is a * * * * load for being 25 years old.

 

I think so too, and I'm surprised that other people think "25" is not that much. I don't have any female friends that have been with that many people, most have been with 10 at the most... And we're all in our early-mid twenties. I find it courageous that this girl admitted that--because I probably wouldn't have. I would honestly be embarrassed to admit for fear of being called a s***.

[greywolf]

I'm not sure.

 

If you don't "judge" people by what they've done.....then what can you judge them by?

 

How do you assess a person's character without historical information? Maybe how many people you sleep with isn't relevant, maybe it is. I don't know.

 

I wouldn't call this woman anything but at least honest.

 

I guess that I just don't believe that the amount of people someone has slept with is really a good judge of character.

[LightbulbSun]

I'd be worried about her being much more sexually experienced than me. I'd rather date someone who's more on my level of inexperience.

[dragon lady]

Hey thanks for that link! I also raise an eyebrow when I hear of studies showing men have more sexual partners than women.

Assuming (for arguments sake) that a man only ever sleeps with a woman and a woman only ever sleeps with a man then from a mathematical point of view it’s not possible for the average number of partners to be different between the sex’s.

 

OP - Nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first night. I wouldn’t see this as any indication that a person does not want a committed relationship. I tend to look at this with a fairly neutral point of view.

You might just have to get to know her a bit more to find out if you are wanting similar things from a relationship.

 

 

No problem. I think there's a lot of "I'm not going to count those one-night-stands" for the women and "well, it nearly went in, so I'll count it" for the men. In the end it averages out to the same number and it's very unfortunate that women have to bear the labels. People are so stubborn in holding onto these false beliefs.

 

As for whether or not 25 is a big number, I'd say it's quite high, but not extraordinary. Most of my female friends have had about that or more. I've had significantly less, though that's most likely because I've spent so many years in LTRs. I haven't had the opportunity to accumulate them like they have.

 

I agree with the person above who said the only thing he'd call her is honest. It beats lying about the number. Not that I'd advocate even bringing it up in the first place...

[Sparkly Eyes]

link removed

 

I'll just leave that there.

 

Well yes, in the case you ask all women and men in the world, averages should be the same. But the surveys ask from a sample of people. The results could be explained in this way for example: There are a few woman who have very high numbers and those up the average for women. It's possible that not an enough percentage of those women are included in the survey.

 

Not saying this is necessarily the case. But the math could add up.

[Flywest29]

YES 25 partners by 25 is a lot. And YES sexual history matters to a lot of men. And NO its not about insecurity. Its about wanting someone values themselves and their sexuality. Most men will not want a partner who has been around the block a few dozen times.

 

Is it a double standard? Yes. Is it reality? Yes.

[FathomFear]

YES 25 partners by 25 is a lot. And YES sexual history matters to a lot of men. And NO its not about insecurity. Its about wanting someone values themselves and their sexuality. Most men will not want a partner who has been around the block a few dozen times.

 

Is it a double standard? Yes. Is it reality? Yes.

 

Straight guys with this infantile hang-up are, well, infantile. There's no way around it. Saying the double-standard exists does not justify the double-standard in any way.

 

A straight woman who enjoys sex and has a lot of it in no way values herself or sexuality any less than a guy who does the same thing. It really is that simple.

[FathomFear]

And again, the OP made it clear that the sexual partners were wracked up during college. I don't know about anyone else, but when I was at university I had a ton of friends who would go to bars/clubs every weekend and practically hook up with someone different. And this went on for years until they settled down and started serious dating.

[15 Storeys High]

I guess that I just don't believe that the amount of people someone has slept with is really a good judge of character.

 

Straight guys with this infantile hang-up are, well, infantile. There's no way around it. Saying the double-standard exists does not justify the double-standard in any way.

 

A straight woman who enjoys sex and has a lot of it in no way values herself or sexuality any less than a guy who does the same thing. It really is that simple.

 

Totally agreed.

 

God forbid a woman should enjoy sex and want to experience the pleasure of sex. It's not the woman that's the problem....it's the attitude towards them. Sex is not a sin and nor is having it, for pleasure or creating life. The number of people a person chooses to have sex with has nothing to do with anyone else. I wouldn't laugh at or call someone who had never had sex names. Why do it to someone who has?

 

OP, if she floats your boat, get to know her as she is now rather than focusing on her past.

[alcide]

Most likly she will cheat on you , move on, trust me i've been here

[goodfoot]

If a key opens lots of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a bad lock.

[Philos]

Meh, I guess people can believe and think what they want.

 

All I know is 25 is a ton to me, and I wouldn't want to date anyone who had slept with that many people unless I was 40 or something. I'd always feel like their feelings were nothing but casual for me regardless of what their actions in the relationship was. Being 26th is being 26th.

[Sparkly Eyes]

If a key opens lots of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a bad lock.

 

I'm sure if getting unlocked felt that damn good for locks, they would wanna be unlocked by multiple keys multiple times a day.

[FathomFear]

If a key opens lots of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a bad lock.

 

That analogy is born from the twisted mindset. That women "hold" sex and men either "get in" or "don't get in". When you stop seeing sex this way--and instead see it as an activity equally enjoyed by both parties--that attitude disappears.

 

As a gay guy this hang-up by straight guys never ceases to annoy me, and I'm always surprised by how many straight women contintue to fall prey to it.

[Fudgie]

If a key opens lots of locks, it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a bad lock.

 

So you're basically saying that if a guy taps a lot of women, it's a good thing, but if a women has had sex with a lot of men, she's damaged goods.

 

Fail. What a double standard.