Would you consider a 25 year old girl who has been with 20-25 guys a ???

[Sparkly Eyes]

The past does reflect her character and I would definitely not commit to her or consider her a serious long term keeper. I am surprised she admitted it as most gals never would. ( the one thing almost all lie about)

 

I actually think it's a good thing that she admitted it, shows courage and self esteem. I'd respect her for that.

[Philos]

I actually think it's a good thing that she admitted it, shows courage and self esteem. I'd respect her for that.

 

Ya, you can respect her for her honesty, but what else?

 

It's not like she copes to past drug abuse or something that isn't directly related to her track record with sleeping around and/or relationships. Hell, she slept with you the first night she met you. If someone does something to you, or with you, then they'd do something to or with someone else.

 

Believing that you're going to be the one to settle her down is unneccesarily abstract thinking and will get you burned. There are plenty of other girls out there.

[hexaemeron]

Ya, you can respect her for her honesty, but what else?

 

It's not like she copes to past drug abuse or something that isn't directly related to her track record with sleeping around and/or relationships. Hell, she slept with you the first night she met you. If someone does something to you, or with you, then they'd do something to or with someone else.

 

Believing that you're going to be the one to settle her down is unneccesarily abstract thinking and will get you burned. There are plenty of other girls out there.

 

People are ridiculous. Let's take her to task, because clearly she was the only one involved in the sexual act, right? Double standards just amaze me.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ya, you can respect her for her honesty, but what else?

 

It's not like she copes to past drug abuse or something that isn't directly related to her track record with sleeping around and/or relationships. Hell, she slept with you the first night she met you. If someone does something to you, or with you, then they'd do something to or with someone else.

 

Believing that you're going to be the one to settle her down is unneccesarily abstract thinking and will get you burned. There are plenty of other girls out there.

 

He slept with her the first night. Therefore, he'd do something to or with someone else?

 

This doesn't go one way.

[RedDress]

I don't think you should be calling her names or anything... but what I think that you CAN glean from it is that she does not see sex as something special and intimate between two people. But you knew that when you slept with her the first night. Right?

 

To some people, sex is primarily a physical act that may or may not have emotions attached to it.

To some people, sex is an expression of an emotional state.

 

She's the first type. Clearly.

 

What type are you? Are you compatible in your views?

 

THAT'S what matters. But seeing as you slept with her on the first night? You kinda sound like the first type too. Sooo... no problem, right?

[LonelyPast]

I can't even fathom how somebody could have that many sexual opportunities, let alone follow through on them! She'd have to have come from such a completely different social world than the one I live in that I'm not sure if we'd even be able to relate.

 

I'm not judging mind you, and in fact I'm a little jealous since my own life has been quite barren and sexless. I'm just not sure I'd be able to handle the differences between a girl like her and myself.

 

If you're at least somewhat sexually experienced then I guess it could work out, but if you were, say, a virgin then it'd probably mix like oil and water.

[Philos]

It's not a double standard, it applies to him too. He's the one though that's asking for advice, and I'm giving it to him.

 

And yes, he may go off and sleep with other people too. Theres a combination in her of sleeping with so many people AND sleeping with him the first night. For all I know he's slept with 2 girls.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's not a double standard, it applies to him too. He's the one though that's asking for advice, and I'm giving it to him.

 

And yes, he may go off and sleep with other people too. Theres a combination in her of sleeping with so many people AND sleeping with him the first night. For all I know he's slept with 2 girls.

 

It is a double standard if people are telling him to leave her because she slept with him on the first night.

 

So, he should leave her because she did exactly what he did?

[Philos]

It is a double standard if people are telling him to leave her because she slept with him on the first night.

 

So, he should leave her because she did exactly what he did?

 

He can do whatever he wants. I comprehended his post as saying, "I want to be in a relationship with her, but I don't know if I should because she might do something crazy cause she's slept with so many freaking people".

 

Theres a difference between sleeping with one person the night you meet them, and sleeping with multitudes of people in the same fashion over years.

 

The latter one I think is the one he's worried about, and I think that's the one to be worried about.

[Sparkly Eyes]

That's one reason for why I like to know someone's attitude towards sex and all that before I sleep with them, I don't wanna be judged and then left! And I guess that explains my ridiculously low number, lol.

 

I think only OP knows if this girl is good for her or not, any judgment that we make here is not necessarily correct. Sleeping with someone on the first night shouldn't be judged as a horrible thing, it depends how it happened. Many couples have long lasting relationships after it.

[greywolf]

If you slept with her on the first date, I don't see how it makes you any different than her.

[greywolf]

He can do whatever he wants. I comprehended his post as saying, "I want to be in a relationship with her, but I don't know if I should because she might do something crazy cause she's slept with so many freaking people".

 

Theres a difference between sleeping with one person the night you meet them, and sleeping with multitudes of people in the same fashion over years.

 

The latter one I think is the one he's worried about, and I think that's the one to be worried about.

 

I would assume that if he slept with her on the first night that he is not opposed to sleeping with other girls on the first night, and that it has most likely happened in the past.

[BellaStranger]

I am female. I am 25. I have slept with 25-30 people. I am very different to this now, but I am not in anyway ashamed of my past, I was emotionally connected to every guy I slept with in one way or another, regardless of how long the relationship lasted- be it one night, or 3 years. I know all of their names.

 

Any guy who did try to make me feel ashamed of this, I would consider myself incompatable with, and he could move on. Specially if he consided sleeping with me on the first date okay for him, but in the negative column for me! Double standards drive me mad.

[Bunney]

25 sexual partners by the age of 25 is not that incredibly much IMO. It doesn't have to make a person incapable of being faithful, or make them "easy", and especially it doesn't mean that intimacy means nothing to them or that they take it lightly.

 

So she's had a lot of sex when she was younger, so what? Lots of people do. It's just sexual exploring, hormones, just being teenagers. Sex is fun, it feels good, a lot of young people want to have that nice feeling so they look for it. It is natural and there's nothing wrong with it. As they get older, they will look for more serious things and stop taking sex so lightly.

 

Again, 25 is not that much. Maybe one weekend was really crazy and she felt horny and had 3 guys within 3 nights. Then the next 6-12 months were nothing. Then 2 guys again. It just depends how the opportunities come. It doesn't matter, it doesn't mean she had sex with 3 different guys every weekend. When not in serious relationships - couple of sexual partners per year is normal, no need to be prudish about this or make any harsh judgments.

 

Oh, and I agree with the double-standard thing. You had sex with her too on your first date. So you are not any better than her.

[nutz76]

Pump & dump material IMO. Seems she wised up to the fact and is trying to reframe her past, so maybe there's potential there if she keeps her numbers low over the next decade. Then again she slept with you on teh first date, so I have to say look at her actions and not her words. It's a fact that women who have a lot of partners have a harder time settling down with one guy for the long term and are less satisfied in monogomous relationships when they're older.

 

My advice is to keep her around for casual sex and maybe a date once a week, but keep her at arm's length and don't get emotionally invested. She'll bring the sex to you and if you play your cards right when she gets an itch you could have 3somes with her and her friends.

 

 

 

 

Yes it is. If she didn't become sexually active until 18 that averages out to 4 a year. The average self-reported amount of parners women have their entire lives is 3. She's over that per year!

 

 

 

 

When she was younger? That'd be what...a year or 2 ago? It's not like she's 45 and she's talking about a rebellious youth where she made tons of mistakes she regrets and had to live with and learnd from.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Pump & dump material IMO. Seems she wised up to the fact and is trying to reframe her past, so maybe there's potential there if she keeps her numbers low over the next decade. Then again she slept with you on teh first date, so I have to say look at her actions and not her words. It's a fact that women who have a lot of partners have a harder time settling down with one guy for the long term and are less satisfied in monogomous relationships when they're older.

 

My advice is to keep her around for casual sex and maybe a date once a week, but keep her at arm's length and don't get emotionally invested. She'll bring the sex to you and if you play your cards right when she gets an itch you could have 3somes with her and her friends.

 

Are you advising the OP to use her?

[DrKitten]

The average self-reported amount of parners women have their entire lives is 3

I don't believe that for a second.

 

It's a fact that women who have a lot of partners have a harder time settling down with one guy for the long term and are less satisfied in monogomous relationships when they're older

Nor do I believe this.

 

Whatever advice you choose to give, try to avoid painting your personal opinions under the guise of "facts".

[greywolf]

Pump & dump material IMO. Seems she wised up to the fact and is trying to reframe her past, so maybe there's potential there if she keeps her numbers low over the next decade. Then again she slept with you on teh first date, so I have to say look at her actions and not her words. It's a fact that women who have a lot of partners have a harder time settling down with one guy for the long term and are less satisfied in monogomous relationships when they're older.

 

My advice is to keep her around for casual sex and maybe a date once a week, but keep her at arm's length and don't get emotionally invested. She'll bring the sex to you and if you play your cards right when she gets an itch you could have 3somes with her and her friends.

 

So sleeping around is not ok, but it's ok for the OP to take advantage of her and use her for casual sex? Honestly, I'd rather be a skank than an ass.

[Sparkly Eyes]

So sleeping around is not ok, but it's ok for the OP to take advantage of her and use her for casual sex? Honestly, I'd rather be a skank than an ass.

 

Exactly.

 

ugh, his attitude literally makes me want to throw up. I guess I just have to accept not all people can have ethics. Some just stay in their animal self and don't move up.

[nutz76]

Are you advising the OP to use her?

 

I'm advising him to have his fun and be wary of emotionally investing in her her due to her track record with jumping into the sack with so many men.

 

I don't believe that for a second.

 

To be fair I don't believe the 3 partners figure either. Women have a tendency to only remember the relationships and recurring partners when it comes time to report on their numbers. All the FBs and one night stands suddenly seem to slip their mind at that point.

 

 

Nor do I believe this.

 

Whatever advice you choose to give, try to avoid painting your personal opinions under the guise of "facts".

 

Ah, I see, your're just ignorant of the research that's been done then. There's a ton of research and studies that have shown women who have lots of partners have relationship strife and are less satisfied with monogamous relationships. They've also shown men are affected in a similar manner, but not to the degree women are.

 

 

So sleeping around is not ok, but it's ok for the OP to take advantage of her and use her for casual sex? Honestly, I'd rather be a skank than an ass.

 

You're the first person who's even eluded to taking advantage of her. I said keep her at arms length, have your sexual fun, and see how things go. If she goes the route that the research suggests * * * * tier women are known to then no harm, no foul. If she lives up to her word then down the road they can get serious. Until that time comes he needs to play it safe. So long as they're both on the same page then it whatever they come up with shouldn't really matter. It comes down to managing expectations.

[LonelyPast]

I'd have to conjecture that the only people who think 25 sexual partners by age 25 is normal are people who, themselves, have had gratuitous amounts of sex. It certainly doesn't come that easily to the rest of us...

 

link removed

 

"The average number of female sexual partners for men was 6.8, said Kathryn Porter, a medical officer for the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics in Hyattsville, Maryland, and one of the study's co-authors. Women reported an average of 3.7 male sexual partners, she said."

[dragon lady]

link removed

 

I'll just leave that there.

[greywolf]

I'd have to conjecture that the only people who think 25 sexual partners by age 25 is normal are people who, themselves, have had gratuitous amounts of sex. It certainly doesn't come that easily to the rest of us...

 

link removed

 

"The average number of female sexual partners for men was 6.8, said Kathryn Porter, a medical officer for the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics in Hyattsville, Maryland, and one of the study's co-authors. Women reported an average of 3.7 male sexual partners, she said."

 

I've had 2 sexual partners. I still don't think 25 is a lot.

[Philos]

I've only ever had one sex partner.

 

I think 25 is a * * * * load for being 25 years old.

[The Archer]

link removed

 

I'll just leave that there.

 

Hey thanks for that link! I also raise an eyebrow when I hear of studies showing men have more sexual partners than women.

Assuming (for arguments sake) that a man only ever sleeps with a woman and a woman only ever sleeps with a man then from a mathematical point of view it’s not possible for the average number of partners to be different between the sex’s.

 

OP - Nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first night. I wouldn’t see this as any indication that a person does not want a committed relationship. I tend to look at this with a fairly neutral point of view.

You might just have to get to know her a bit more to find out if you are wanting similar things from a relationship.