My 32 year old boyfriend is addicted to porn...TEEN PORN!!!!

[beautiful1]

Ok-This disturbs me WAY more than the porn. I used to work at a video store, and we had plenty of movies that featured young looking girls, but we made sure that they were all over 18.

 

But letting a 16 year old sleep over at his house? Giving her money? Combined with a love of "teen" porn? Creepy! Is he related to her? I would have some serious questions about his "friendship" with this girl!

Thank you. I think it goes way beyond the teen porn also. Chatting about it has led me to decide to just end this relationship. I think he really needs help. I do love him and would like to help him but I don't want to go crazy in the process. Having been a victim of child molestation, this disturbs me!!

[beautiful1]

oh yeah. the porn + this friendship isn't a pretty picture.

See...I'm not crazy!!

[Vince99]

He says he watches porn to curb his sexual appetite so that he won't cheat

 

That alone is reason enough to leave.

[annie24]

and YOU were a victim of child molestation?? wow, i don't know what's going on here, but maybe he is attracted to these child-like types? i don't know. very strange coincidences. breaking up now might be better rather than finding out several years from now that he really prefers underage women or something.

 

of course, i don't know him or what is going on in his head. but if your gut tells you that something isn't right, you should listen to it.

[beautiful1]

and YOU were a victim of child molestation?? wow, i don't know what's going on here, but maybe he is attracted to these child-like types? i don't know. very strange coincidences. breaking up now might be better rather than finding out several years from now that he really prefers underage women or something.

 

of course, i don't know him or what is going on in his head. but if your gut tells you that something isn't right, you should listen to it.

And my gut says....ROLL OUT!!!

 

Still, I'm a little amazed at how many people think nothing of this type of behavior.

[ItRainsItPours]

teen porn isnt something you should be concerned about. my brother is a lawyer and had to do some work involving that at one point and he assured me anyone taping 17 year old girls and under would get the axe thrown at them faster than you could blink. some guys just like younger looking girls in porn; porn is about fantasies not realistic desires. they might make him feel that age again.

 

but his friendship with a 16 year old should raise some serious red flags. Im 25 and I seldom talk to girls in undergrad still and have no desire to. a grown man being friends with a 16 year old and letting her sleep over his house is just plain wrong. how do they know each other? I think that should be what youre worried about, not his porn.

[annie24]

even though people insist that the girls are 18 (and some likely are!) there is still a lot of porn out there that's either shot in other countries where the age limit isn't strictly enforced, or perhaps some women are using fake IDs. or the producers don't care. i'm sure that not 100% of his porn is of women of legal age.

 

glad you are listening to your gut!!

[Ms Darcy]

Thank you. I think it goes way beyond the teen porn also. Chatting about it has led me to decide to just end this relationship. I think he really needs help. I do love him and would like to help him but I don't want to go crazy in the process. Having been a victim of child molestation, this disturbs me!!

 

Interesting. I would hate to see you marry this guy and end up in a situation where he was abusing some kid in the future. It sounds like he is sexually attracted to young girls.

[beautiful1]

teen porn isnt something you should be concerned about. my brother is a lawyer and had to do some work involving that at one point and he assured me anyone taping 17 year old girls and under would get the axe thrown at them faster than you could blink. some guys just like younger looking girls in porn; porn is about fantasies not realistic desires. they might make him feel that age again.

 

but his friendship with a 16 year old should raise some serious red flags. Im 25 and I seldom talk to girls in undergrad still and have no desire to. a grown man being friends with a 16 year old and letting her sleep over his house is just plain wrong. how do they know each other? I think that should be what youre worried about, not his porn.

They worked together. They were both servers at the time that they met. He knew her before he knew me and he always talked about how wild she was and how he wanted me to talk to her because he thought I'd be a great influence blah blah blah...she and I never met. I only saw pictures of her and heard phone conversations which were very brief when I was around. Also, he sent me a text that he intended to send her at 2am once. He was trying to talk her out of doing something stupid. The mere fact that it was her and such an inappropriate time pissed me way off....

[beautiful1]

even though people insist that the girls are 18 (and some likely are!) there is still a lot of porn out there that's either shot in other countries where the age limit isn't strictly enforced, or perhaps some women are using fake IDs. or the producers don't care. i'm sure that not 100% of his porn is of women of legal age.

 

glad you are listening to your gut!!

Seriously...I wish I could send you the links. There's no way these girls are really 18. When I was 18, I looked young but you could tell that I was at least 18 or close to it. The girls that he's looking at seriously look like they're no older than 13.

[fantastic]

May I ask what race these girls are? Many Asian girls in their 20's can look about 13 or 14, especially in a schoolgirl outfit. Many Asian women have small breasts.

[vertigoxo]

Everyone... Do you think maybe the OP's boyfriend is checking out "teen porn" that look like a bunch of 12 year old school girls because he KNOWS that if he checked out the younger pr0n, he would get arrested?

 

I don't know OP. This guy sounds like he's not into women his age. I see many red flags.

[FathomFear]

Seriously...I wish I could send you the links. There's no way these girls are really 18. When I was 18, I looked young but you could tell that I was at least 18 or close to it. The girls that he's looking at seriously look like they're no older than 13.

 

Be careful what you claim here. You're essentially saying that you think your boyfriend has child porn on his computer.

 

Don't worry about it. Straight guys love teenage women (or "girls" as they affectionately call them). It's just one of those creepy things you need to adjust to. This brand of pornography tries to make 18 year old women look as young as possible. They aren't supposed to look like what you did at 18.

[Calvin68]

umm, they're smoking hot, not a blemish on their bodies or an ounce of fat to be found.

[vertigoxo]

umm, they're smoking hot, not a blemish on their bodies or an ounce of fat to be found.

 

Doing coke and applying pounds of body makeup sure does work, don't they?

[Night Pumpkin]

OK, let's define something for what it is:

 

It is not "teen porn." When a man rapes a woman and takes pictures, that is not pornography - that is a visual record of an illegal and degrading sex act. A teenager can't give consent. Therefore the sexual exploitation of a teenager is an act of rape. Teen porn should be called what it is - A visual record of an illegal and degrading sex act.

 

Again, why is he will this 16 year old? If these teen has problems, refer to an appropriate government agency.

[LightbulbSun]

I agree, dressing an 18 year up in pigtails to look like she's 12 is not teen porn, or child pornography. It's sick and depraved, but it's not underage porn.

 

I'd worry more about how he only seems to be able to get off on 'young looking' girls. I look at porn, but some of my porn is of 18 year old girls, some is of women my own age, and some is of women in their 30s and 40s. I find some 40 year olds as attractive as the 18 year old, so something is not right with this guy. He's getting off on the idea of it being 'illegal', like teenagers having sex, and a 32 year old man has been out of high school for 14 years!

 

Plus, he has you. This guy needs to grow up.

[beautiful1]

May I ask what race these girls are? Many Asian girls in their 20's can look about 13 or 14, especially in a schoolgirl outfit. Many Asian women have small breasts.

Black, white, some bi-racial....

[beautiful1]

Be careful what you claim here. You're essentially saying that you think your boyfriend has child porn on his computer.

 

Don't worry about it. Straight guys love teenage women (or "girls" as they affectionately call them). It's just one of those creepy things you need to adjust to. This brand of pornography tries to make 18 year old women look as young as possible. They aren't supposed to look like what you did at 18.

It's just one of those creepy things that I need to adjust to?? Seriously...are you also attracted to women that look like they're preteens?? I think that brand of porn is sick. If you sit and fantasize about boning a child you're sick PERIOD!!!

[beautiful1]

umm, they're smoking hot, not a blemish on their bodies or an ounce of fat to be found.

Yeah and believe it or not...some are actually 12.

[vertigoxo]

Yeah and believe it or not...some are actually 12.

 

Do you have some sort of proof that they are? I understand why you're feeling distressed, but again, I've seen "teen porn" sites with friends before for giggles and saw how "young" they looked but I could tell that they are 18-19.

 

Some people actually look way younger than their age, as well.

[beautiful1]

Do you have some sort of proof that they are? I understand why you're feeling distressed, but again, I've seen "teen porn" sites with friends before for giggles and saw how "young" they looked but I could tell that they are 18-19.

 

Some people actually look way younger than their age, as well.

No proof. Mainly an assumption based on the way the world is. It's definitely out there. In foreign countries this type of thing isn't news so you have to expect it to somehow get leaked into the US. Regardless, the issue is the fact that he's attracted to these girls that look like kids from a playground. They look like that chick off of that movie "Orphan". They may very well be 18 but to look for women who look like a kid is disturbing to me. Not to mention, some of the sites that he has gone to are similar to youtube. Anyone can put in a random age and post themselves. Who's going to verify it??

[No1]

And my gut says....ROLL OUT!!!

 

Still, I'm a little amazed at how many people think nothing of this type of behavior.

 

I think a lot of people are getting off the subject. The subject is not weather the girls are 18 or 12 or whatever age. The point is that he is watching it and it takes that to turn him on to be with this girl.

He needs someone who is also into that. He needs someone who has the same interests as him who will accept it.

Its ovious Ms Beautiful is not into it. I dont think you need to support it or accept it if its not you and I dont think it is you.

I bet you are beautiful, amazing and very hot in your own right. Just know its not your fault, nothing you could do to change anything. You are just being the best you can be. But he is not what you need, move on.

[FathomFear]

It's just one of those creepy things that I need to adjust to?? Seriously...are you also attracted to women that look like they're preteens?? I think that brand of porn is sick. If you sit and fantasize about boning a child you're sick PERIOD!!!

 

No, I'm not attracted to teen porn whatsoever. I tend to find myself to be most attracted to guys around my own age. Guys who are 18/19 look like boys to me. It's not appealing.

 

However, that doesn't mean I'm prudish. People get off on different things. Teenage women are very popular in straight porn. Many guys, for whatever reason, get off on it--and I suspect a vast majority of these guys would not download pics/videos if they consciously knew that the models were underage.

[treeclimb]

I watch porn sometimes. I've also been to 'teen porn' sites. They are not underage porn sites but '18+' sites. From what I've heard you can't find child porn on mainstream sites that are 'teen porn' sites. So they would be legal sites without underage models.

 

I agree that they present the models to look very young, and when done to look extreme I personally find it unattractive and stupid looking. And I avoid such stuff. However, a lot of the time it's just that they are young looking women like 18-25. Sometimes what they claim is 'teen porn' is clearly models in their late 20s and 30s.

 

If he was solely choosing models that were dressed to look like 12 or under or something, I think that would deserve some questioning or confrontation. As you might want to check what his thoughts and feelings were.

 

Other than that, it's pretty obvious what his thoughts and feelings are - he likes porn, he likes the idea of young women sometimes in his mind, and its unlikely he's doing anything illegal (and you have no evidence that he is or is likely to be doing so - your imagination and emotions have got carried away here).

 

It's very easy to surf porn quickly and for your pc to save heaps quickly. Partly because you can't see a lot of it till you've already downloaded it. And if you don't like it or it does nothing for you you move onto something else quickly. Do this a few times, you get faster and faster and you've soon dumped a heap of porn - lots you don't even like on you pc. You don't have to delete it as storage is so cheap these days. Seeing some video clips are about 4 seconds, its not enough to really get you going. So you try another one.

 

Just telling him to stop it probably won't solve the problem. You have to decide if you want to stay with him while he does it, not stay with him or negotiate some progression toward change. However, the last option would take the most commitment from both parties, and remember that you can't always change people. You did say that you didn't mind him looking at porn at the start of the relationship? Well, I'd be a bit confused maybe if I was him. However, the quantity of time he spends doing it, and when he does it is something you might be able to negotiate.