ivinsjames Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 This is so ignorant but it's gut-busting laugh-funny for the same reason at the same time. Ok smarty what should I have said she used to sleep around alot? What the hells the difference? Link to comment
ohemgee Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 You're assuming she has changed who she was. Shes the same person as before. The more you think theres a difference the more you're going to feel the need for making this a problem Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 What don't you guys understand about "ex ho" Im not saying she is one now.EX means was,or used to be and is now not. come on guys I know you understand better then this. Why do you want to be in a relationship with someone you don't respect? Sorry, if you were my bf and you called me that, even with the word "ex" in front, our relationship would be over. Link to comment
russ978 Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 You shouldn't have asked if you couldn't handle the truth. Either get over it or get out of the fire....and calling your 'girlfriend' a 'ho' is a low blow. Learn some tact. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I love how everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the OP's choice of words instead of helping him feel better about it like he asked. You DO all know what he meant. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Were the 5 women you slept with 5 actual relationships you had or was it casual sex. Link to comment
diabolik Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Agree with the others and learn from this....in the future, don't talk about "numbers." There really is no point, and regardless of the answer, you won't like it. True, though some answers are easier to digest than others. Would he have reacted this way if she had 3 prior partners? What if it was 50? OP, as long as none of it is on video floating around the internet, don't drive yourself crazy. Think about it this way - you like everything else about her, so if you can't see past this, you're going to break up with her, and then what? Find a girl who matches her in every respect except for having fewer partners? What if the next girl has more? Or if she lies? The reality is that you will never know for certain how many men a woman has been with. Women are notorious for underestimating this figure, whether it's intentional or not (sometimes, certain hookups won't count - it's female logic that guys will never understand). Link to comment
ivinsjames Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 You're assuming she has changed who she was. Shes the same person as before. The more you think theres a difference the more you're going to feel the need for making this a problem Youre just 22 but you seem to be actually trying to help thank you.Also thanks for not just criticizing my words. Link to comment
ivinsjames Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 I love how everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the OP's choice of words instead of helping him feel better about it like he asked. You DO all know what he meant. Thank you I appreciate that Im really not trying to be mean I just need advice. Link to comment
Catdancer Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Can you tell us how old you both are? Link to comment
ivinsjames Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 Were the 5 women you slept with 5 actual relationships you had or was it casual sex. Actual relationships, not once with a random girl. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I already asked this, but just in case... What in particular bothers you about the 15? Is it just kind of an "ick factor", or are you worried about something else (performance, cheating, I don't know)? If it's mainly an ick factor, I think if you've decided that you will decide to live with it it's a feeling that will just fade over time. I found out some fairly shocking (to me) things about my last boyfriend while we were dating, and at first my heart sank and I felt absolutely incredulous that he could do something like that, and then I decided to "forgive" him, and eventually those feelings sort of faded away. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I love how everyone gets their panties in a bunch over the OP's choice of words instead of helping him feel better about it like he asked. You DO all know what he meant. Maybe, but it is still incredibly disrespectful and unneccessary. He could have phrased it as "My GF slept with 15 guys in the past and I can't get over it." He purposly used the term "ex-ho" Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 What don't you guys understand about "ex ho" Im not saying she is one now.EX means was,or used to be and is now not. come on guys I know you understand better then this. The problem with you referring to her as a "Ho, ex ho" or whatever is that you are judging her as a " * * * * * " based on how many guys she's been with. (EDIT: Why's "ho" not blocked but " * * * * * " is?) It depends on the context she had these partners under. If it was 15 guys she had a real relationship with, that's different that 15 guys she took home for the night, which in my eyes wouldn't really spell out "responsibility" in my eyes. But it all depends on what standards and values you have. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I said "ex ho" because that's what she was. Awfully big on the judgments for someone you supposedly care about, brah. Link to comment
ohemgee Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Youre just 22 but you seem to be actually trying to help thank you.Also thanks for not just criticizing my words. I've been where you are man...I've let that destroy relationships before. I'm trying to not let you make the same mistakes I did. I know the get over it advice isn't what you want to hear. I didn't want to hear it either. But you got to. If this is otherwise a good relationship you have to set your insecurities aside. It, afterall, is just sex. But please do yourself a favor and not ask these questions. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 My boyfriend is unfairly judgmental! My boyfriend judges me because I slept with 15 guys in the past. I'm desperately trying to look past his total disrespect of our relationship and myself because he calls me a sl$t but it's a very hard pill to swallow even though I really love him can someone please help me? BTW he's only slept with 5 girls so I think he's insecure that I have more experience than he does. Please help. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 You're assuming she has changed who she was. Shes the same person as before. The more you think theres a difference the more you're going to feel the need for making this a problem I think herein lies the reason it's problematic to term her as an 'ex-ho.' All of her experiences make up who she is. She may or may not feel like what she did was wrong. But trying to put a negative label on her past is segmenting what she did back then as if it's a different person. It is the same person who perhaps makes different choices. I don't think having 15 partners makes someone a 'ho.' Perhaps there were issues that lead her to make those choices and maybe she's grown from them. It's important to point out behavior versus pointing out a supposed character trait that may lead to a behavior. Link to comment
Mauxly Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Wait, do you mean that she was actually a professional prostitute? Did she get money for sex? If not, then really you need to see "Chasing Amy" asap. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 My boyfriend is unfairly judgmental! My boyfriend judges me because I slept with 15 guys in the past. I'm desperately trying to look past his total disrespect of our relationship and myself because he calls me a sl$t but it's a very hard pill to swallow even though I really love him can someone please help me? BTW he's only slept with 5 girls so I think he's insecure that I have more experience than he does. Please help. I like the way you think. Link to comment
ivinsjames Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 The problem with you referring to her as a "Ho, ex ho" or whatever is that you are judging her as a " * * * * * " based on how many guys she's been with. (EDIT: Why's "ho" not blocked but " * * * * * " is?) It depends on the context she had these partners under. If it was 15 guys she had a real relationship with, that's different that 15 guys she took home for the night, which in my eyes wouldn't really spell out "responsibility" in my eyes. But it all depends on what standards and values you have. Yeah now that is funny that they did not block ho out.I dont know why but I guess yeah it was rude.I just have a hard time expressing myself sometimes. Link to comment
turnaroundmyway Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 She can't change her past. She is who she is today because of it. We've all made mistakes and bad choices. Don't judge her for her past, but love her for who she is today. It may be she choses to be with you because she learned what she didn't want from her past experiences. Link to comment
diabolik Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 If not, then really you need to see "Chasing Amy" asap. Ummm, OP, do yourself a favor - don't ask her if she's had threesomes. Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 My boyfriend is unfairly judgmental! My boyfriend judges me because I slept with 15 guys in the past. I'm desperately trying to look past his total disrespect of our relationship and myself because he calls me a sl$t but it's a very hard pill to swallow even though I really love him can someone please help me? BTW he's only slept with 5 girls so I think he's insecure that I have more experience than he does. Please help. Very good point. It's not like she cheated on you with 15 guys or anything :s I don't really see what the problem with her is. She hasn't done anything wrong, big deal if they were one night stands or not. You need to look up some stuff on the net about getting over insecurity, just google it. You will see little exercises and stuff you can do to put insecurities out of your mind. I feel sorry for her having to be with a guy who calls her names and is so very judgemental. I would NEVER stay with someone who called me an ex ho. And yeah I've had my share of guys. Link to comment
Seymore Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Ummm, OP, do yourself a favor - don't ask her if she's had threesomes. And do NOT watch "Clerks"! Damn Kevin Smith really messed with my head... Link to comment
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