My girlfriend is an ex <> slept with 15 guys

[shikashika]

Yeah... I guess. I just don't think I can handle another broken heart...

 

well no one wants one... but at 18 you're still pretty young. Not to sound like a downer, but everyone thinks like that after a broken heart... it can't happne, it can't happen, but there are people who have been married for 40 years who one day their partner just says, "don't love you anymore. bye bye."

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah... I guess. I just don't think I can handle another broken heart...

 

Not having sex with them won't make breaking up any easier.

 

I've been through breakups where we weren't physical and ones where we were. It hurts just the same.

 

And nothing in your breakups were wasted on your ex. Despite the experiences being good or bad to you, you still learned something very valuable about yourself and what you need and it will be useful in your next relationship.

 

Learn all you can from your failures and apply it to your next endeavor. Life is a learning experience.

[vertigoxo]

well no one wants one... but at 18 you're still pretty young. Not to sound like a downer, but everyone thinks like that after a broken heart... it can't happne, it can't happen, but there are people who have been married for 40 years who one day their partner just says, "don't love you anymore. bye bye."

 

I don't know why but this post makes me really upset all of a sudden. Like, I'm seriously on the verge of crying right now...

 

Does love exist anymore?

[shikashika]

Not having sex with them won't make breaking up any easier.

 

I've been through breakups where we weren't physical and ones where we were. It hurts just the same.

 

And nothing in your breakups were wasted on your ex. Despite the experiences being good or bad to you, you still learned something very valuable about yourself and what you need and it will be useful in your next relationship.

 

Learn all you can from your failures and apply it to your next endeavor. Life is a learning experience.

 

this is true, one of the people i found the hardest to get over was someone who i hadn't slept with.... someone I didn't even date!!

[shikashika]

I don't know why but this post makes me really upset all of a sudden. Like, I'm seriously on the verge of crying right now...

 

Does love exist anymore?

 

don't cry over that....you are very sensitive... work on that and maybe it will help with future relationships.

[Cognitive_Canine]

this is true, one of the people i found the hardest to get over was someone who i hadn't slept with.... someone I didn't even date!!

 

 

Me too. He was the hardest to break up with because I was so young then. I had became dependent on him and let his little snarks get the better of me. He really damaged my self esteem. Yet we only ever kissed.

 

Never date a bipolar person who refuses to take meds.

[vertigoxo]

don't cry over that....you are very sensitive... work on that and maybe it will help with future relationships.

 

Yeah... I'm a girl with moderate depression and anxiety who thinks about suicide since the age of 13 and is now cutting herself compulsively...

 

Of course I'm sensitive.

[shikashika]

Me too. He was the hardest to break up with because I was so young then. I had became dependent on him and let his little snarks get the better of me. He really damaged my self esteem. Yet we only ever kissed.

 

Never date a bipolar person who refuses to take meds.

 

I dated someone who was bipolar who said he would never resort to taking meds, so I see where you're coming from.

 

This isn't the same person i was talking about above, but yea, it's brutal!!

[shikashika]

Yeah... I'm a girl with moderate depression and anxiety who thinks about suicide since the age of 13 and is now cutting herself compulsively...

 

Of course I'm sensitive.

 

is this just to get attention.. there are other ways of doing it.

 

You have your troubles, which I hope you get help for, but please don't play a victim role here.

 

Get help, not off ENA either!

[vertigoxo]

Me too. He was the hardest to break up with because I was so young then. I had became dependent on him and let his little snarks get the better of me. He really damaged my self esteem. Yet we only ever kissed.

 

Never date a bipolar person who refuses to take meds.

 

My ex boyfriend and my ex best friend were both bipolar. Horrible experiences with both of them.

 

Tell me about what happened between you and him? What did he do to ruin your self-esteem?

[vertigoxo]

is this just to get attention.. there are other ways of doing it.

 

You have your troubles, which I hope you get help for, but please don't play a victim role here.

 

Get help, not off ENA either!

 

I don't cut myself for attention! I do it because it helps me calm down and to take away all of my emotional pain and mental anguish. You have no idea how it feels like to be someone who has depression and all these mental disorders that nobody understands.

 

Victim role? What are you talking about? I'm not trying to pick a fight here, because I'm way over being a high schooler, but seriously... that is really uncalled for.

[Cognitive_Canine]

My ex boyfriend and my ex best friend were both bipolar. Horrible experiences with both of them.

 

Tell me about what happened between you and him? What did he do to ruin your self-esteem?

 

Well, it started off fairly normal. He was very nice albeit moody. He was an artist (and I'm not saying that sarcastically). He was quite good at many instruments and was a singer as well. He is moderately accomplished photographer today.

 

It started off with little things like him not putting me at a very high priority. He seemed to get a kick out of saying things to me that didn't make very much sense and made me second guess myself and then never really explaining them. He also started becoming distant a few months in. He'd stop answering me when I directly was talking to him. He'd change plans and then not tell me. I can't tell you how many times I would come to his house to pick him up to be told that he had already left with a friend. If I asked him if something was wrong, he'd get defensive and make a snide comment about what I was doing wrong. Basically, whenever he was in a bad mood, he blamed it on me.

 

I was very young back then and it was one of my first relationships. Now-a-days, I wouldn't hesitate to dump a guy on his rump if he did things like this. It was, very much, a learning experience and I'm glad I had it.

 

We're actually pretty good friends still. Although, he still doesn't take his meds.

[shikashika]

I don't cut myself for attention! I do it because it helps me calm down and to take away all of my emotional pain and mental anguish. You have no idea how it feels like to be someone who has depression and all these mental disorders that nobody understands.

 

Victim role? What are you talking about? I'm not trying to pick a fight here, because I'm way over being a high schooler, but seriously... that is really uncalled for.

 

 

How do you know I have no idea? You're not the only one with problems.

 

That is being a victim, when you think it's 'only you'

[vertigoxo]

Ugh! Oh my God, my ex is the exact same way as your ex! He is also my first serious boyfriend too! I can't tell you how many nights in our past relationship he had made me cry and suffer. He really made me feel like crap about myself.

[vertigoxo]

How do you know I have no idea? You're not the only one with problems.

 

That is being a victim, when you think it's 'only you'

 

It's obvious that you truly do believe the awful stigmas against self-injury and mental illnesses. I don't cut to fit in, to look cool, or to get attention. I tell everyone here on ENA I do this because I hope that someday someone can relate and feel that they really aren't alone after all.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Ugh! Oh my God, my ex is the exact same way as your ex! He is also my first serious boyfriend too! I can't tell you how many nights in our past relationship he had made me cry and suffer. He really made me feel like crap about myself.

 

Oddly enough, although our relationship was quite short (although, at 17/18, 6 months feels like forever) it was probably the hardest breakup.

 

You feel like you've lost your only chance. You feel like damaged goods. You feel like something must be wrong with you.

 

However, I can assure you that most people say their first real relationship is the hardest to get over. And, it definitely does not mean that something is wrong with you.

 

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. I may not be a cutter, but I did experience severe depression and suicidal thoughts through my teen years. I still have some trouble with it today, even though I am much happier, but I've learned to manage it.

[shikashika]

It's obvious that you truly do believe the awful stigmas against self-injury and mental illnesses. I don't cut to fit in, to look cool, or to get attention. I tell everyone here on ENA I do this because I hope that someday someone can relate and feel that they really aren't alone after all.

 

That's not true. Lots of people relate and you're not the only one with depression.

[vertigoxo]

Oddly enough, although our relationship was quite short (although, at 17/18, 6 months feels like forever) it was probably the hardest breakup.

 

You feel like you've lost your only chance. You feel like damaged goods. You feel like something must be wrong with you.

 

However, I can assure you that most people say their first real relationship is the hardest to get over. And, it definitely does not mean that something is wrong with you.

 

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. I may not be a cutter, but I did experience severe depression and suicidal thoughts through my teen years. I still have some trouble with it today, even though I am much happier, but I've learned to manage it.

 

Thank you, hun, and I will PM you if I need anything. I'm so sorry about your depression and I do hope that someday you will overcome it. I hope I will as well.

 

That's not true. Lots of people relate and you're not the only one with depression.

 

I never said I was the only one with problems. I do know that there are plenty of other people out there who has the same problems as me, if not worse than my own, and I do have sympathy towards all of them.

[Happy Bunny]

I agree with a lot and disagree with a lot

 

15 is not that many. The people saying it is, have clearly been with a much lower number. If their "number" was higher they wouldn't be saying it, that's all it really is... a comparison to themselves.

Now, that certainly isn't true. I met my future husband at age 19. Before that, though, I'd been with 7 men in 2 years--and that was considered "experienced." And yet I'd consider 15 at age 18 a lot too. In fact, we had a word for people (of both sexes) like that in high school.

 

who cares about numbers?? (well the only people who care are those that have only been with a few people!) Whether or not someone has slept with 1 or 50 people does not indicate how faithful they are going to be in future relationships.

No, but it certainly increases your chances of getting some STD. The last thing I'd want is a guy who had slept with so many women he couldn't count them all. To me that's a huge turn off.

 

I don't know why in this day and age people still see sex as something 'disgusting' or that rubbing someone's genitals is something bad. Or if you sleep with a certain amount of people (which in this case 15 people is a very modest number IMO) you're going to be an STD ridden cheater.

Well, chances are you will be. Not to quote statistics at you, but 25% of girls between the ages of 15-24 have at least one STD. And 80% of those have more than one.

 

If the OP's girlfriend says she's been with 15 guys, you can bet the actual number is a lot more.

[SnowFox]

I just wanted to say to vertigo- I don't see anything wrong with your view about sex. I think its perfectly OK to consider it something special that you want to save for a loving relationship. Just because the trend in modern society is to emphasize sexuality and give the message that we should all be out there having constant sex doesn't mean that is true for everyone.

[Siriana]

all this thread has taught me is to never tell my 'number' to a potential mate. lol. the number of men i've had intercourse with is quite low (as in under 5!) but the number of men i've had oral sex with...... i've lost track. where does that put my number? I don't know. I feel like the girl from "Clerks!!!" lol.

 

 

I soo love you right now. You made me LOL

We should grab a coffee lol ;-)

Anyway, yeah, my number is not that high either (little bit above 5) but damn the oral....heh...slightly bigger number heh

 

I don't remember when was the last time I got asked about the number - I guess never. Never ended up with a guy who asked me the number. And if any guy did it would be well.... not cool. I don't ask guy's number so I don't want to be asked the same question.

[shikashika]

Now, that certainly isn't true. I met my future husband at age 19. Before that, though, I'd been with 7 men in 2 years--and that was considered "experienced." And yet I'd consider 15 at age 18 a lot too. In fact, we had a word for people (of both sexes) like that in high school.

 

 

No, but it certainly increases your chances of getting some STD. The last thing I'd want is a guy who had slept with so many women he couldn't count them all. To me that's a huge turn off.

 

 

Well, chances are you will be. Not to quote statistics at you, but 25% of girls between the ages of 15-24 have at least one STD. And 80% of those have more than one.

 

If the OP's girlfriend says she's been with 15 guys, you can bet the actual number is a lot more.

 

I don't think its is true.. I would never lie about my number... if asked.

 

sometimes i get so sick of reading silly generalisations on this board

 

"Men want sex, women want relationships"

 

"Men divide their number by 3.14 and women multilpy by 54378 fantazillion"

 

amongst other things.

 

It's because of ridiculous things like this that I've read so many men on this board say their girlfriend has been with 5 people and everyone is so sure she's been with 10 times as many.

 

Simply not true, same with "the more you sleep with the more stds you will catch"

 

That's like saying the more relationships you have, the higher chance you have of getting married.

[Miss Firecracker]

Never ended up with a guy who asked me the number. And if any guy did it would be well.... not cool. I don't ask guy's number so I don't want to be asked the same question.

 

I'd probably ask him what his mom's number is.

[annie24]

I'd probably ask him what his mom's number is.

 

lol, that's exactly what i'll say!!! thanks!!!

[Miss Firecracker]

lol, that's exactly what i'll say!!! thanks!!!

 

You're welcome, Annie.

 

I had to learn to take up for myself at a young age.