My girlfriend is an ex <> slept with 15 guys

[shikashika]

i think i disagree with you there. Unless you are getting an STD test from all of them (and you can get certain STDs while using a condom!!) I think just looking at it from a simple statistics/numbers game, the more people you sleep with, the higher the chance that you will pick the wrong person. It's not 100%. it doesn't mean that the 50th person you sleep with will give you an STD. some people get an STD with the first. I'm just looking at it from a simple High School Statistics class perspective.

 

Yes, but you can also look at the world around you and who does and doesn't get STDs, it's not always people who have numerous partners. I don't think that if you were to take a survey of everyone who has ever gotten an STD, it would be full of people who'd slept with with 89 people. You could get a whole range in there.

 

You've been around ENA a lot and I'm sure you've seen the countless posts that as soon as someone says their partner has slept with more than a handful, people are on STD alert!

 

 

I can read all the statistics i want, but I also look at the world around me, and the # one thing is getting tested/ using protection.

[shikashika]

I guess maybe I read your post wrong. I just got the impression in general that many in the thread were saying that it's necessarily wrong to have any sort of opinion about the number of sex partners has had - that is, that it's something that shouldn't matter at all. That's what I disagree with.

 

I agree with you, there is judgment on both sides and it's unfortunate because it's so much easier to say no thanks.

 

And, holding protection as a constant, higher number of sex partners does translate into higher risk of STDs. Obviously whether or not you use protection is an extremely important factor as well. But as I said before, given how accurate STD tests are now, this probably isn't really a factor for most people.

 

Yes, that's what i was trying to say, maybe not very well though... haha!

[greywolf]

i think i disagree with you there. Unless you are getting an STD test from all of them (and you can get certain STDs while using a condom!!) I think just looking at it from a simple statistics/numbers game, the more people you sleep with, the higher the chance that you will pick the wrong person. It's not 100%. it doesn't mean that the 50th person you sleep with will give you an STD. some people get an STD with the first. I'm just looking at it from a simple High School Statistics class perspective.

 

While I somewhat agree, there are many things that this could depend on. I could sleep with only one person in my whole entire life, not use a condom or demand an STD test, and end up with an STD, or I could sleep with 10 people and have demanded an STD test and sex with condoms with each one. So I think general precautions is more of an indicator rather than numbers.

[diabolik]

and no, it is absolutely NOT true that the more people you sleep with the more chance you will get an STD.

 

I don't know why people keep saying that!

Because it's true. Every study I've seen on the subject finds that # of partners is a significant factor in STD infection.

It all depends on your attitude towards protecting yourself.

Obviously protection helps. But if you take 2 people, both using condoms, and Person A sleeps with 5 people, and Person B sleeps with 50, Person B is at higher risk for acquiring an STD.

[diabolik]

I can read all the statistics i want, but I also look at the world around me, and the # one thing is getting tested/ using protection.

There is a big difference between looking at statistics and understanding them.

Yes, but you can also look at the world around you and who does and doesn't get STDs, it's not always people who have numerous partners. I don't think that if you were to take a survey of everyone who has ever gotten an STD, it would be full of people who'd slept with with 89 people. You could get a whole range in there.

A basics statistics course would clear up so many misconceptions related to probability that constantly pop up on internet forums.

[shikashika]

There is a big difference between looking at statistics and understanding them.

 

A basics statistics course would clear up so many misconceptions related to probability that constantly pop up on internet forums.

 

No need to patronise!

 

I always wonder where people get all their "studies" from.

 

You can find a 'study' to prove anything. I saw a 'study' once that proved that 'married christian women have the most orgasms"

 

I'm not talking about internet forums.

[vertigoxo]

The point is, you think they've made a mistake and 'are still people'. That's a little patronizing. It's like saying, "I will forgive you" and the other person says, "but i didn't do anything wrong"

 

Maybe the don't think they've made any mistakes!

 

the funny thing in this whole thread, is that I don't even have a high number, in my opinion. And, I would never judge someone's date-a-bility by it! or say things like "You've made your mistakes, but oh no, I don't judge"

 

That would be so insulting if someone ever said that.

 

I never said people who make mistakes are still "people in my eyes". If you don't regret what you've did, that's good. I'm talking about people who regret what they did in the past in the sexual department. People who are okay with their numbers, awesome, kudos to them. I'm not bitter at all, and I hate how you think people like me or other people like me are a bunch of jealous, sex-deprived people when that's far from the truth. Trust me when I say, I can go outside right now, offer my vajayjay to people in the city where I live near in, and have a long line of guys wanting to participate. I'm attractive and I've been told so by so many people, and I'm not tooting my own horn, it's just the truth.

 

But in the end, I choose not to do it. I want to try and live as long as possible without dying from an STD or AIDS or having pregnancy complications.

 

Don't know if this is going to offend you if I ask, but here goes... What's your number?

[greywolf]

I don't think anyone here has implied that. =/ In fact, your number is higher than mine.

[vertigoxo]

I don't think anyone here has implied that. =/ In fact, your number is higher than mine.

 

I've had 2. The first one meant everything to me, while the second one can go to Hell for all I care.

[shikashika]

you're being pretty presumptuous here...I've never said that. Why do so many posts of yours begin with "You think this of me " or "You think that"?

 

You don't need to reiterate that you're attractive if so many people have already told you so.

 

I'm not offended at all, but I haven't even discussed that question with the last few relationships I've had, so I don't need to discuss it with people on an internet forum. I've said before that I don't think it's that high at all.

 

however, I do understand, when I was your age, I thought it was so important for some reason.

[greywolf]

I've had 2. The first one meant everything to me, while the second one can go to Hell for all I care.

 

I know. You mentioned it in your other posts.

[vertigoxo]

you're being pretty presumptuous here...I've never said that. Why do so many posts of yours begin with "You think this of me " or "You think that"?

 

You don't need to reiterate that you're attractive if so many people have already told you so.

 

I'm not offended at all, but I haven't even discussed that question with the last few relationships I've had, so I don't need to discuss it with people on an internet forum. I've said before that I don't think it's that high at all.

 

however, I do understand, when I was your age, I thought it was so important for some reason.

 

It's just how your posts indicates that people like me are like... Rejects or weird or whatever, and that's not true at all. Some of us decides not to have many sexual partners, while others never got the chance to sleep with a lot of people.

 

So you don't feel comfortable telling us your number? I understand. I know I'm young but I've experienced a lot for my age so while I do understand why you're saying, "I know how you feel about this", you also have to realize that I have experienced young people telling me their sexual histories and how they sometimes regret what they've done and it makes me feel a bit sad when I hear them say that.

[vertigoxo]

I know. You mentioned it in your other posts.

 

Just saying.

[shikashika]

It's just how your posts indicates that people like me are like... Rejects or weird or whatever, and that's not true at all. Some of us decides not to have many sexual partners, while others never got the chance to sleep with a lot of people.

 

So you don't feel comfortable telling us your number? I understand. I know I'm young but I've experienced a lot for my age so while I do understand why you're saying, "I know how you feel about this", you also have to realize that I have experienced young people telling me their sexual histories and how they sometimes regret what they've done and it makes me feel a bit sad when I hear them say that.

 

I've never said you were a weirdo reject. My posts don't indicate that.

 

I doubt you'd find many people my age telling you their number. It's nothing to do with feeling uncomfortable, I just don't see what the point is.

[greywolf]

It's just how your posts indicates that people like me are like... Rejects or weird or whatever, and that's not true at all. Some of us decides not to have many sexual partners, while others never got the chance to sleep with a lot of people.

 

vertigoxo, what I'm trying to tell you is that no one is judging your number and trying to call you weird or a reject. What right would I have to say that when my number is lower? And if someone here was implying that, then they'd also be calling me weird or a reject.

[vertigoxo]

I've never said you were a weirdo reject. My posts don't indicate that.

 

I doubt you'd find many people my age telling you their number. It's nothing to do with feeling uncomfortable, I just don't see what the point is.

 

Okay... Is it in the 20 range? I'm sorry if I'm getting nosey or whatever, but I'm like that, I get very very curious when somebody hides something from me, hahaha.

 

I mean, this is going to make me sound like the biggest hypocrite in the world, but... I really wish a guy would walk in right now asking for sex. *hides face in shame*

[vertigoxo]

vertigoxo, what I'm trying to tell you is that no one is judging your number and trying to call you weird or a reject. What right would I have to say that when my number is lower? And if someone here was implying that, then they'd also be calling me weird or a reject.

 

Yeah, I understand. I just hate feeling left out, I guess. :S I feel like the whole world is having a huge party and I'm not invited to them. If a person has a lot of partners in their life, it's like, "Oh cool, they must know a lot about sex, they're hot, let's hang out with them, etc etc."

[shikashika]

Okay... Is it in the 20 range? I'm sorry if I'm getting nosey or whatever, but I'm like that, I get very very curious when somebody hides something from me, hahaha.

 

I mean, this is going to make me sound like the biggest hypocrite in the world, but... I really wish a guy would walk in right now asking for sex. *hides face in shame*

 

You're not getting anything honey!

 

I don't think it will improve your life dramatically if you know my number!

[greywolf]

Yeah, I understand. I just hate feeling left out, I guess. :S I feel like the whole world is having a huge party and I'm not invited to them. If a person has a lot of partners in their life, it's like, "Oh cool, they must know a lot about sex, they're hot, let's hang out with them, etc etc."

 

A higher number doesn't necessarily mean someone is more sexually experienced. My number could be 20, but I slept with each of them only once, while someone with a significantly lower number, but in a long-term relationship would have had sex more times.

[vertigoxo]

You're not getting anything honey!

 

I don't think it will improve your life dramatically if you know my number!

 

I HATE YOU! Nah, I'm kidding.

 

Just out of curiousty... Have you ever asked your partners how many partners they have had? Do you date people who have high numbers like you? Or do you not care?

 

A higher number doesn't necessarily mean someone is more sexually experienced. My number could be 20, but I slept with each of them only once, while someone with a significantly lower number, but in a long-term relationship would have had sex more times.

 

Yeah, my first one, we had sex twice a week for over a year. I've learned a lot thanks to him. Then the second one lasted just a few months. Very sporadic and just stupid.

 

Now, if you were to ask my kissing/making out history... Oh wow. I have quite the high number.

[vertigoxo]

Oh, and here is one thing I read that kinda concerned me; Studies shown that people with a high sexual partner count are more likely to have cervical cancer (for women) and prostate cancer (for men).

[shikashika]

 

Just out of curiousty... Have you ever asked your partners how many partners they have had? Do you date people who have high numbers like you? Or do you not care?

 

 

the last time I asked was when I was 19. Like I said, I for some reason thought it was important at that age. So, no, i have not asked since then. I had one guy tell me, but other than him, I have no clue.

 

Also,in previous posts I said my # is not that high!

[vertigoxo]

the last time I asked was when I was 19. Like I said, I for some reason thought it was important at that age. So, no, i have not asked since then. I had one guy tell me, but other than him, I have no clue.

 

Also,in previous posts I said my # is not that high!

 

Ahh, I see... Is the number about the same or less amount than one hand?

[Cognitive_Canine]

 

Just out of curiousty... Have you ever asked your partners how many partners they have had? Do you date people who have high numbers like you? Or do you not care?

 

 

I have only had one sexual partner and I honestly wouldn't be bothered at all by a guy who had theirs in the 50's or 60's or what-have-you.

[shikashika]

Ahh, I see... Is the number about the same or less amount than one hand?

 

You're persistent, but I won't give!