Life-is Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 You are continually getting rejected this year because all this year you have been needy. That negates the total package effect. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Gosh, that was harsh! haha. Have I been REALLY really needy? So maybe if I had acted differently things might have worked out with J??? How could I have acted differently? I had such a nice day today. Seriously, the day in my home town was BEAUTIFUL. Spring just started in the south but it was just like a january summer day. No clouds on the sky, the ocean was SO warm... it was just so great to be in the pier of my building, with my family, friends, cousins... I really did keep thinking about J though and how I wanted to share all the with him. I really did fall really hard for this guy. I was talking to my cousin and I'm actually thinking of still trying to be with him in the future. Of course I need NC first, but I dunno, is it crazy that I still want to be with him? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 bg, what a nice photo! you look great. look, i don't know if you acted differently if you would have 'kept' J. Truthfully, once i have had some time to think about some relationships, i realize that no matter what i did, it wouldn't have worked because THOSE MEN just weren't in a place to be in something serious, for whatever reason. the one side of this story that we are missing is J's. I don't think he's told you 100% of what went through his mind. we really don't know what is going on there. i don't know. but if he says he's not interested in the type A MBA woman, then obviously, you are not the one for him, and whether you acted needy or totally aloof towards him, you two aren't a match. personally? i think you can do better. i'm not overly impressed with J. i think you should come to california. you will find more than enough blonde haired, educated american guys. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Cute photo. Next time hopefully you'll choose not to let yoursef get so emotionally attached in that short a time frame - take better care of yourself ok and I mean on the inside-- all that stress is going to show on the outside sooner or later and since you are concerned about your looks/figure maybe that will motivate you to work on your anxiety/intensity? Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 I've been eating NON-STOP since Sunday! It's really weird, I cannot stop eating! Normally when I'm really, really anxious/depressed I can't eat at all and I loose a lot of weight. However, this time is like, I can't STOP eating junk food! I'm not that worried about my looks/figure really. If I was with J, yes, I'd be. But now I'm just blah, whatever, who cares about freaking body or beauty or anything else if I'm needy and annoying and nerdy. Yeah, exactly we have NO idea what's going on in J's mind... I do think there is something about me he does like, or he wouldn't have hung out with me for over a month. I'm literally taking advice from my 14 (soon to be 15) year old sister... haha. She's so mature for her age! She says I should go after what I want and not let him go...! Is it a complete waste of time/energy if I contact J again in a few weeks? On better news, I talked to my family about my plans to start school in Jan, and they all support me 100%. I have to get my applications ready in the next 2 weeks and I'd be good to go. It's scary but you know... going. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I think it's great to go for what you want when what you want is healthy for you and in your best interest. Going for J by continuing to contact him is not healthy, will slow the healing process, and will at the very least irritate J pretty quickly. Yes, of course he found you attractive and likeable - we all said that many times. That doesn't mean he wanted a romantic relationship with you. I mean, didn't you break up with your bf despite being with him long term and being attracted to him and liking him? Your little sister sounds completely adorable by the way! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 i think if you want J back, you could probably get him back. as long you don't mind him dating other women behind your back.... Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 I'm thinking about contacting him in 2 weeks... Not now... in a few weeks! But yeah, hopefully by then, I'll understand the best thing is to let him go. I still have no idea what the heck was going through my mind when I broke up with my ex. I didn't enjoy spending time with him anymore, wasn't attracted to him anymore, all the spark had gone. I still thought he was a great guy, but I wasn't attracted/romanticly interested in him anymore. It was definetly temporary insanity or something close to that. Link to comment
-Worried- Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 BG! I wanted to see how you were doing, and this isn't good at all. When/if you go overseas, you should stop thinking about men for now and try to let yourself fully heal from the last few. G, A, and J have all happened in the span of seven months... that would be overwhelming for anyone! Have you thought that you may be subconsciously still trying to replace your ex? You're falling for guy after guy, but you've also said that you tend to be incredibly picky. It makes me think that the reason these guys seem so amazing is that they could possibly replace what you had with G. Link to comment
-Worried- Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 I don't think you should pursue J. You're already doubting yourself because of his words, and I think that even if he did come back the relationship wouldn't go very well because of the rocky beginning. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 I am going to cry. Seriously. J unfriended me on facebook. I mean, why is he doing this to me? That's just hurtful and rude! I feel like e-mailing him and asking why... but I know I shouldn't. What do I do? I'm SO mad/sad. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 I need urgent input because I'm about to e-mail this guy. I'm SO mad. What the hell!! Please help guys, this shouldn't matter, but it really does. Why would he do that?? Link to comment
orchidrose Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 You do nothing. You're not friends any longer, so it makes sense. I agree that it is a bit rude, especially since he had originally expressed an interest in maintaining a friendship, but honestly I doubt he ever really meant that. Asking him why will get you nowhere. He will give you another BS response that will just make you feel more horrible. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 It makes sense???? What? Nobody has ever done this... I've been with A, my ex, other guys... our thing or whatever have ended but it doesn't mean we delete eachother from facebook? What type of message is he trying to send along with the "I'd love to be friends"? Ughhhh.... This hurts SO much! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Why do people keep kicking me when I'm down? Seriously, I've been so nice to this guy, I gave him much more than I ever should have... and why the heck is he doing this to me? Go on my facebook and delete me ? It makes NO sense to me at all... I'm asking him. I know it's ridiculous, I feel worse, but look, this was just really rude. Next thing you know he's going to get a restraining order against me. Link to comment
savagegirl Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Maybe he is dating that girl exclusively now and she told him to delete you? Who knows, whatever the case may be I would totally leave it alone, and leave him alone. Move on, you so deserve someone who appreciates you for YOU. Trust me on this! I would not give him the satisfaction of even asking him why! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 savagegirl - I'm pretty sure that's the reason. It's the ONLY reason I can think of. But really, what is wrong with people? Do they need to rub it in and make me feel worse? Why would she want to do that, it doesn't mean anything you know? It's just hurtful. Of course I should just leave it alone, but I cannot do that. I just cannot. I'm just so hurt it's hard to explain how hurt I am. A simple act but that really just hurts a whole lot. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 He replied already. I wrote: "Hey, so why did you unfriend me on facebook? I mean... I'm just curious? I suppose that means we are not friends? I don't know, that was just a little weird" He replied and I cannot bring myself to open it. My heart is already breaking if I read what he has to say. "Leave me alone" or "The artist told me to"... I just cannot open this e-mail. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 What the heck is wrong with this guy? look at his ridiculous reply: "Look, it's not that we aren't friends but i think it would be good if we just take some time to se livrar um pouco. Facebook doesn’t mean anything to me, it doesn’t define who is or isn’t my friend. * I have people who are acquaintances on there and very close friends who aren’t there. * I have had a lot of bad experiences on Facebook so that doesn’t help either and have thought about canceling it except that my mba friends use it. I hope we can remain friends…" I don't even know what to say/think. Link to comment
orchidrose Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Can you translate "se livrar um pouco?" If it means what I think it means - some time apart, some time not talking - you need to leave this guy alone. PLEASE. He owes you nothing and you need to start working on healing. This guy treats you like crap and you just keep coming back for more! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Look, he e-mailed me Friday asking how I was and saying he'd love to be friends. He deleted me from facebook for no reason after telling me to please keep in touch. He owes me NOTHING, I know that, but it hurts me. It really does. People cannot just keep treating people like this. I don't want to be friends with him. I don't want to hear from him ever again. "se livrar" means "get away from this for a little while"... Link to comment
AmandaB Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 Can you translate "se livrar um pouco?" If it means what I think it means - some time apart, some time not talking - you need to leave this guy alone. PLEASE. He owes you nothing and you need to start working on healing. This guy treats you like crap and you just keep coming back for more! I agree with the above. Leave him alone. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 I am leaving him alone forever. Seriously, after this one... He's so selfish and only cares about himself. I have nothing left to say to him. I just want to start healing. Why did he do this to me? It REALLY makes me feel like the worse person on the universe! And why does he still sugarcoat/bull * * * * his attitudes? Screw you J. I noticed he unfriended his ex as well. This guy has issues. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 hey bg. i'm sorry to hear this, but i think it is for the best. i think, and i'm just speculating, he might not have appreciated your communications with the artist on facebook. but more importantly, i think he sensed that you were more interested in him than he was in you, and he thinks that deleting you from facebook for a while will help you out. ie, so you're not seeing photos of him and other women, you're not seeing flirty wall posts, etc.... so, actually, i do think it's for the best that he unfriended you. it's going to help you heal. but i definitely think it sends the message that he does NOT want you to pursue him! Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 Annie - Yeah, I guess this cultural thing is very weird. It's really rude to delete people on facebook here! Extremely rude, like, nobody does that! As for me communicating with the artist, well the artist communicated with me, she e-mailed my friends, she e-mail me, she called me. I doubt he did this looking out for my best interests. He's a selfish, self-absorbed loser. We are still in the same network so I can still see ALL of his photos, wall posts, etc... which makes this all just more random and weird. So what if he's hot? He's not the good guy I thought he was. Link to comment
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