Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Robin2904]

I'm happy for the first time in a long time. I think I'm over you. I met someone I really like. He's great and wonderfully different from anyone I've ever known. I don't know where it's gonna go with him, but I want to find out. I don't miss you and I'm realizing how there as such better people then you out there in this world. It feels great.

[mrb]

you could be happy, and i wont know

[Roka]

ive been here before. why r u on my mind all day again suddenly. Why am i calling you talk? youve made it very clear... we've danced this dance for years

wash and repeat, i suppose you have had enough. I love you, happy mother's day, i will take care of our son this weekend. I see you in him, I see us in him,

that is one of the reasons i love him so much. hope you are well, .....

[Alone Now]

I will be with NG this weekend, or at least for part of it. and I will probably be intimate with him. I will do it because of my womanly needs but I will mainly do it to spite you. Right now I hate you more than words can say. I profess that I am over you but I clearly am not because I return here to write about you. Will you be with your wife tonight while I'm with NG? I don't know. What I fear is that I will be thinking of you when I am with NG, but I suppose that is to be expected since I'm really not over you. I like NG but I love you. I will use NG the same way that you used me.

 

The only real emotion that I feel is for GF. Where did he disappear to? Did he find some one else to hang around with? I wondered today what it would be like to have GF completely out of my life and it made me terribly sad.

 

MW you ruined the friendship with GF because you once told me that he was beneath me. You couldn't have been more wrong! GF is kind and gentle and thoughtful and fun. You are the opposite, but I listened to you and got rid of him for our sake. What our? There never was an our. I hate you for having such control over me and if I never talk to GF again I will be able to place the blame directly on my own soul. You are the devil MW, you really are.

[Alone Now]

I lied to NG by saying I needed to check something online for work just so I could write to you MW. I HATE you for loving you so much! I know what the night holds for me, sex with NG. It doesn't matter whether it is good or great because you were the best I ever had. But I also know that when we are done my thoughts will turn to GF. I want to hold GF and be held by him. When GF hugs me I can feel my heartbeat which is something you were never able to do. And do you know why? Because GF really does love me and cares about me and my little man. MW you bought presents to get in good with me. GF bought gifts for my little man because he loves him. I threw the friendship with GF away because of YOU! DAMN you MW! I should have never answered your phone call six weeks ago! This is all so confusing especially since I haven't heard from GF today despite a couple of text messages just to say hello. Have I lost GF forever? Today made me wonder what it would be like if GF were to walk out of my life forever.

 

MW: You are a selfish spoiled little man. Manipulative to the highest degree because you know I am still wondering and worrying about you, but I have to break your spell over me even if it means using NG. I like NG OK, but he is not the love of my life as you once were and he is not fun and spontaneous and such a pleasure to hold in my arms like GF. What am I suppose to do? Do I follow my heart and try to explain to GF just what he means to me or do I find the attentiveness of NG enough for the time being?

[jaded123]

Looks like a full moon tonight. Wonder if you saw it too. The two of us, separated forever, never to meet again, looking up at the same moon.

[xancrish]

I hate you for doing this to me. May be I wasn't the one meant for you, but you could have put it in a better manner. You had to drag me through mud to make me realize it. You said you did this for me, you did that for me - well I didn't ask you do anything for me! I never asked you to love, you loved me because you loved me. Don't make me the villain of your stupid sob story you insecure bastard. I was always myself. I never lied to you, I showed you how I felt, I showed you what I thought. And you? You were so bent on making it one perfect little love story, you forgot that I am a real person with plus sides and down sides. You might think you won this, or that you are righteous in what you did. But what you are, is just a coward hiding behind his pride and anger.

[periwinkle00]

You never were. We have nothing in common. We never did.

You have your family, and a couple friends.

My family and I don't get along.

I don't really have any friends.

 

I think it would be wise for me to make room for new people, friends, or otherwise, and to become more accepting of myself.

 

You are on such a high pedestal for me. I don't hold that importance for you. Well, I'm doing everything I can to improve my life.

 

I'm going to the gym, I'm attending a group on consciousness, I'm playing piano again, going for long walks..maybe I should go for one now, because I'm feeling really uptight in my heart centre. I also am feeling more confident in my own skin, day by day.

 

It hurts to wait by the phone, when you don't even care. You don't even like me that way, at least not enough..you are resolute that you don't want to restore the relationship.

 

I can't help it, I'm blue. It's healthy for me to express how I feel.

 

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you don't want me..

 

Not sure if I wrote this here..but you told me there was a place of deep pain within me, and that sometimes I scare you.

It wasn't until I spoke to you after the 6 weeks NC that you told me this. You always said that you were the problem. Finally, you told me it was me.

I thought you were waiting for me, in hopes that we'd get back together again, but no, you are open to a new relationship if one comes around.

 

Aching

[Alone Now]

MW: I hope you are having a good weekend. My NG is here and stayed the night last night and will again tonight. I figured out that he falls short in two categories. MW remains the best sex I have ever had, so he has ruined it for any future men I'm afraid. And GF is still the nicest, funniest, most noble guy I know. If only I could take the sex of MW and everything else with GF and mix them into one and I would have the perfect match! Is it possible for a girl to tell someone what pleases her sexually without insulting a man? Why can't guys ask that kind of question from the beginning?

 

As it stands though, I haven't heard a single word from GF this weekend and I miss talking to him. Is it possible to have a male friend that you can tell everything to and still know that he is the greatest person to have around? I'm just afraid I don't have him around any longer and that would break my heart not being able to catch up on daily activities and laughing about everything under the sun. Is it even possible that I messed up bad enough that I won't have GF around to talk to anymore? Not like he was in some car accident or anything, but that he has drifted away without my telling him the joy I find in his company. I can feel my heart when I'm with GF, I only feel my arousal with NG. MW continues to have my heart. Or at least most of it. GF staked a claim on a small part of my heart also.

 

The time I'm spending with NG is enjoyable but I have found my mind drifting to GF. Wondering what he is doing and if he would play off of comments that I make after something happens or seeing something funny. How do I handle all of this? Truth be told, NG isn't everything I made him out to be. But seeing NG is better than spending time at home alone.

 

What are your thoughts please.

[figmentations]

I got a job. I hope you're doing well.

[xancrish]

No use blaming you. You were doing your own gig. I just failed to realize what sort of person you were. You shouldn't expect everyone to be like yourself. When I was frank and honest about my feelings, I expected the same from you. But you were two-faced about it. You never told me half of things you were feeling. And you called ME two-faced, when I lied to make you feel better. I just can't do this anymore. It would never have worked out. Yeah, you are a great guy, for may be other guys. Relationship, you just suck. You don't understand woman, you don't understand 'feelings'. You speak the language of money, pride and dignity. You were never in love with me. You wanted to be my provider, you wanted to do this and that for me, you wanted to shower your 'love' onto me and get undivided devotion in return. But you spent too much time analyzing what I wanted, and how best you give me that, that you failed to realize you never loved 'Me'. I was just another investment you were hoping to get really great returns from. I wish you hadn't worked so hard. Because if you had truly loved me, then you wouldn't have let go of me. Not when I need you the most. And if you had truly loved me, you would have seen that whatever I did, was out of love for you, and out of care for you.

[xancrish]

You told me to die. You told me to go kill myself. You called me so many degrading things. I forgave you. You know why? Because I thought you were just angry, that sometimes when you get angry, you say things you don't mean. But I realize with you, its not like that. You keep in things, push it down yourself, those things you don't want to say, that it only comes out when you are very angry. So that means, all those things you told me when you were angry were all true. Wow. You are a very narrow minded person. Don't blame you for being that way. Cuz I know where you come from and stuff. But still. I thought better of you. I thought too highly of you. No more guys with trauma in the past. Seriously. Can't handle it.

[xancrish]

How different are you from my father, you *******? Not very. You are open-minded? You were sooo narrow in your thoughts, you wouldn't believe that I loved you. That I gave up everything for you. You are the reason my family is in tatters, you are the reason I lost all my dignity in workplace. While you maintained everything, I ruined my whole life because of you. If I hadn't met you, I'd have gained a whole bunch of new friends, good work experience and stable family life. I was up late night talking nonsense to you. I used to spend so much time thinking about you, talking to you. Lost touch with many of my friends because of you. Will never do that again. Never. I don't deserve you, you bastard? You don't deserve me. You self-consumed narcissist! You are a narcissist. You are incapable of loving anyone but yourself. Get that.

[xancrish]

How could you leave me like this? I loved you so much! I gave my everything for you! I gave up my family, my friends everything for you. How could you leave me? Why are you so merciless? Why are you so blind? I love you even now, you know? I love you so freaking much, it hurts so bad. How could you leave me? When did you stop loving me? When did you stop? Why did you pretend when you didn't love me? Answer me!

[aseeker]

I wish you would stop contacting me. You said we shouldn't talk and yet you've done 3 times already! Do you miss me or are you messing with my head?? Do you even want me back or are you just keeping me on the side to feel better about yourself?? Stop playing these games! Can't you see I'm still not over you? What do you think, that I forgot already? We can't be friends like this! You act like nothing ever happened, that you didn't hurt me and I didn't hurt you! I've acknowledged my faults, I can't take back what I did! But you treat me like you don't feel anything for me anymore and I don't know if I can keep up this make-believe much longer. I can't be your friend if you don't want to talk to me, I can't be "okay" about everything, I can't pretend you didn't destroy me. Should I forgive you? Am I making a fool out of myself? Do you enjoy it? I just want us to be ok and I don't even know if that is possible anymore. How will I ever be able to be around you, around your future girlfriends, and smile? I don't know if I can. I don't know anything anymore... I want you to let me be, and yet I don't. All I know is that I don't want crumbs. I deserve something more. If not with you, then with someone else. But you can't keep playing with me. You have no respect for me, do you? All we've been through doesn't concern you anymore, was meaningless. All the mistakes are present, all the good times are lost. You don't want to try anymore and maybe I don't either. What for? So you can leave me three months later? I don't want you to be with me for pity sake. I want you to want to be with me. But you don't. You just don't want me to be with anyone else. Like I'm your property. You'll keep hurting me as much as you can; at least until I let you. When I'm no longer interested in you, when I'm happy again, will you come back to shatter that too? What is your purpose? Why can't you be straight with me? You're a coward, A ******* COWARD!! I hate you SO MUCH! I spent 2 weeks miserable and you didn't care. I bet you were just fine. I bet those were the best days of your life. I hope you never find anyone else, I hope I never see you again. I'm tired of pining over someone who doesn't know what they want, who made empty promises and always held it against me when I didn't do the same. Because I was rational, I knew things could go wrong. But you thought I was the bad guy. I didn't love you and didn't want to be with you. Well, it seems like I did. You just didn't understand me enough or loved me enough. You wanted a plaything and when you didn't get it fully, you let it go. Too much hassle. Well, no longer. I just wish I could hate you more. Sometimes I don't even feel anything, just emptiness. Thanks for making me believe again and be happy for a while, just to lay me down on the dirt. I was so careful and you made me open up to you like no one else. It was so heartwarming, it felt like sunshine. But you couldn't even break up with me to my face. I didn't even deserve that from you. It wasn't so it was easier for us, it was so it was easy for you, because if I cried you would have felt terrible. But I did cry. I cry all the time, right? Maybe because you make me cry. You were just like my dad and I couldn't even see it. The times you spoke about him and his ways like he was a monster. YOU are the monster!! You did exactly what you said you despised, YOU ****** HYPOCRITE! I can't even begin to say how much I wish you were gone forever...

[dreamstate83]

How should I put this...

 

Hope you find everything you lost when you walked away from me

[Alone Now]

MW: I'm now officially on Day 2 of NC and it is a little more difficult than I thought it would be. But then I think of the way you used me for your own pleasure. This might explain why I slept with NG Friday night and again last night. Do I feel guilty about it? A little, but it was nice to know that in some form or fashion I was hurting you. Do I thnk I could love NG? I don't know right now, I like him I guess but the word love scares the hell out of me because I loved you once and see how that turned out. Will I see NG again? Probably because we did have fun yesterday at the pool and rollerblading around Epcot. ng is attentive and says the things that any girl wants to hear and the conversations are so easy. But after about three hours my mind turns to you MW. Don't be so proud because my mind also goes to GF, who I have decided that he is actually my best friend.

 

MW you made me dump my best friend because you said he wasn't good enough for me. Who are you to say that? You threatened him all the time and mocked him for being a sensitive, nobal, spirited and of good character. Things you never were and never will possess. You and your buddies telling filthy jokes in a bar and I had to sit through it. Did those jokes make you feel like a man?

 

The few friends who I have bothered to introduce NG to like him. But they absolutely LOVE BF (as mentioned, he has gone from GF to BF in quick order. All of my friends who were subject to you hate you because you are stand offish, self centered and always talking about yourself and what a bad ass you are. Maybe my friends to whom I speak about BF find him refreshing because he is quite opposite from you. He has accomplished much, but doesn't brag and offers no long stories of his accomplishments. And his accomplishments are many. But, thanks to you MW and your power over me I was never really able to digest his goodness until he went away for a couple of days and I haven't been able to talk to him. Even with NG being around all the time this weekend, I wonder how BF is doing, is he thinking about me like i'm thinking of him, or however that song from New Years Eve went.

 

Speaking of, I played Mother's Finest for NG. He tried to understand it but was bored by the second song I played which is one of my personal favorites. I was dancing all over the driver seat while NG sat with his hands folded over his knees. Yes NG, I know you are built like a bodybuilder, but how about relaxing and just feeling the music. At least I know BF and I will have fun at the MF show in Athens this coming weekend, assuming BF decides to get in touch with me. Could it be that BF has dumped me?

[Moontiger]

I know I promised to stop writing about you. But I just have to make this one final post.

 

You are a great person. One day you will find an awesome woman who understands your taste in music and your sense of humor. Trust me when I say a guy like you wont be single for long. I hope that job works out for you and you can be happy with it.

 

Please take care of yourself. And thank you for making this as easy as it could be for both of us.

[periwinkle00]

I have so much anger toward you. I just watched a youtube video about expressing emotions. I was in denial about all this anger I hold toward you. The second I get angry with you, you close off, so I will express it here.

I hate that you don't answer my calls right away.

I hate that you stopped coming over here.

It makes me so mad that you told me you were the problem, and not me. You didn't give me a straight answer.

How could you decide to keep the friendship, but not the relationship? How the hell do you think that's fair to my emotions?

How dare you send me mixed signals. Calling with a tone in your voice like you want a relationship, but you say you don't want one.

You are a son of a ****** for opening a plentyoffish account and putting that you're single. How long have we been apart? Officially, 6 months, but with all the phone calls in between as friends, it feels like much less.

I thought you were waiting for me. You are such a jerk for letting me believe you wanted to be with me.

You are such a jerk for not having the balls to tell me it wasn't working, instead dodging my calls, and waiting for me to say it isn't working.

You are such a coward.

[IAmFCA]

this is not about you.

 

this is about me. I want to tell mm that I am looking to create an attachment, to create an intimate relationship. I don't know if I want it with you or not. if I don't know, then I would leave this alone and just see what develops?

[IAmFCA]

this is not about you.

 

this is about me. and to mm. I want to tell mm that I am looking to create an attachment, to create an intimate relationship. I don't know if I want it with you or not. if I don't know, then I would leave this alone and just see what develops?

 

is this just me going through the hormone shift. ahhh rats.

 

obsessing tonight. maybe tomorrow will be better.

[Alone Now]

Where is my best friend? I want to talk to you BF. It was a decidedly harder weekend than I expected with NG. NG is hot, great body but he is just, oh, I don't know how to explain it. He and I just don't do as well in person as we do over the phone. It is as though we can find distractions like doing the dishes when NG and I talk on the phone, but in person it becomes somewhat strained and uncomfortable. And like I said in an earlier post, you don't begin to compare to MW in the sack. I definitely don't want to talk to MW right now because I am afraid I would be able to be talked into seeing you. And that is the last thing I want to do.

 

That is why I want my BF. We would laugh and kid around over a bottle of wine and some popcorn and prepare ourselves for a night of Film Noir on TV. Or not TV because we get so caught up in talking to each other that time just flies by. But I would like the option to decide with BF. But I haven't heard from you for the entire weekend and this causes me concern. Are you OK? Are you in some ditch on the side of the road? No, you are much too good of a driver for that to happen. But through the course of the weekend with NG, I really miss playing with you. No one plays as well as we do! Will you be backing out of the Mother's Finest show in Athens? And if you do will you at least tell me in advance?

 

Who would I take if you do decide you can't or won't go with me? Definitely not MW since the band has n-words in the group (How is it that we ever got together?) and I won't ask NG. NG would be a stick in the mud I think and would be bored and make me uncomfortable to the point of not being able to let my hair hang down and be myself. Yes, BF, the show at the Melting Point belongs to you because there is no one else I want to go with. We would have a blast and we both know it. Oh how I miss you BF! I miss you so much! Call me and talk to me about everything and anything! I need/ want/ desire having my BF around! Is that selfish of me? Don't care! I miss my BF more than words can say!

[Alone Now]

Day 3 of NC with MW. It's difficult but it is something that needs to be done. But it is more difficult not hearing from BF. I spent my morning wondering how his day is going at the police academy. Did he pass the test he was taking today. I really truly miss BF voice. He makes me think and ponder and laugh and yes, BF can make me cry. NG is leaving the picture. I received a courtesy call from him this morning but it seems as though he accomplished his mission of getting me in bed. Way to go AN! I should have taken my own advice and not get involved with someone new so soon.

[stalumfi]

Don't be depressed. Things will work out somehow.

[Sophia1975]

Hey you

 

I really wanted to play it cool, to simply do what it feels like you've done, what you're doing, which is moving on, letting go, maybe even forgetting everything that we had. Bu I really can't do that, it's not in my nature. And while I can promise you that I am moving on, I've accepted that this is real, and I am not trying to change your mind or win you back, it doesn't change the fact that we had something that mattered.

I'm going to be clear, this isn't a letter that asks anything in return, especially not a response, since I know exactly how comfortable emotions, writing, and especially emotional writing appeals to you . But since i may never see, hear, or have contact with you again, there are just a few things I wanted you to know.

 

1) I will always regret the way things ended. I'd always hoped we'd last, but the practical side of men hoped we'd at least part, not in anger, but with regret and understanding. If our paths weren't ones we could share, I wanted to be able to wish you the best.

2) I am thankful. I am thankful for the time we had. I love the memories of our early dating, making love, road trips, Duck Dynasty, not to mention, "Crazy Girl" "Booty Man" and "Sasquash." I loved talking with you, and can't thank you enough for getting me through the hard times with work, Anna's leaving, Irene, and my dad's health. I'm thankful for the times i was able to be there for you.

3) Last but not least, I love you. Again, I"m not trying to change the past. If this decision is what's best for you, if it's what makes you happy, then I would never want to change that. You've helped me to grow, helped me realize my strengths and my weaknesses, where I still need to grow and change, to let myself live and be loved. I'm sorry i let my self esteem get in the way of appreciating your love. But i will always love you, in a special Tigger Place in my heart. I am so happy I have that. And I hope if we do talk, see, meet up one day, it can be in a place of peace and relaxed enjoyment. I wish you nothing but joy.