aseeker

Wow, thanks loads for sending me that drawing I made for you (which didn't actually take that much work and was so much better than all the crap you gave me sometimes) all torn and ripped in little pieces. I took the time to send yours in perfect condition, because that's what a normal person does, but you actually wanted to hurt me. Guess what, I wasn't hurt, I've moved on. I was just shocked at how low you have stooped and how much energy you still spend trying to hurt me. It's pretty pathetic. Be sure to go to a psychologist because you're acting like a mental person. If you don't want me, that's fine. I don't want you either. We're on the same page. So why won't you leave me alone? Why wouldn't you block me yourself, or stop talking to me? Why would you want to torture me? You are a monster and I should have taken your advice and never trusted you/loved you. I just got hurt. You're not good, to anyone, not even yourself. Go ahead and badmouth me to all your/our friends and family. You're making a fool out of yourself for all the childish things you're doing. I blocked you on facebook at last, not out of spite but because there's no point in having you there anymore. I don't really care if you've moved on or not, to me you don't exist anymore. You're an evil person and I'm glad you let me go because I would have suffered so much with you. Could never be myself around you, now I can and I intend to find myself again. Thanks for all the bad moments I had to go through; they make me appreciate the good ones when I experience them now. I'm doing everything differently from what I did with you in my new relationship. I realize I made a lot of mistakes, and yet I don't think I deserve what you did to me. I don't deserve that much hate. I'm just a human being, like you. I forgave you and all your crap, you should be able to find it in yourself to do the same with me. I feel sorry for you, because you have reverted back to stage zero while I'm trying to better myself and be a good person. I forgot about that while I was with you, because you only brought out the worst in me. Thanks for being a jack***, moody, an idiot all the time for no actual reason. Thanks for never being able to accept my personality. Thanks for always managing to make me feel so bad, so guilty, so torn. Thanks for never really caring, I guess. Thanks for making me believe in everything I had already sheltered myself against. Thanks for bringing all my walls down so I could spend an eternity rebuilding them in tears. Thanks for deceiving me. Thanks for taking my heart and trampling it. Thanks for making me feel like I was to blame for everything. Thanks for calling me fake, cold, and unfeeling. I wish I'd been more, so I wouldn't be hurting so much now.

I wish you would stop contacting me. You said we shouldn't talk and yet you've done 3 times already! Do you miss me or are you messing with my head?? Do you even want me back or are you just keeping me on the side to feel better about yourself?? Stop playing these games! Can't you see I'm still not over you? What do you think, that I forgot already? We can't be friends like this! You act like nothing ever happened, that you didn't hurt me and I didn't hurt you! I've acknowledged my faults, I can't take back what I did! But you treat me like you don't feel anything for me anymore and I don't know if I can keep up this make-believe much longer. I can't be your friend if you don't want to talk to me, I can't be "okay" about everything, I can't pretend you didn't destroy me. Should I forgive you? Am I making a fool out of myself? Do you enjoy it? I just want us to be ok and I don't even know if that is possible anymore. How will I ever be able to be around you, around your future girlfriends, and smile? I don't know if I can. I don't know anything anymore... I want you to let me be, and yet I don't. All I know is that I don't want crumbs. I deserve something more. If not with you, then with someone else. But you can't keep playing with me. You have no respect for me, do you? All we've been through doesn't concern you anymore, was meaningless. All the mistakes are present, all the good times are lost. You don't want to try anymore and maybe I don't either. What for? So you can leave me three months later? I don't want you to be with me for pity sake. I want you to want to be with me. But you don't. You just don't want me to be with anyone else. Like I'm your property. You'll keep hurting me as much as you can; at least until I let you. When I'm no longer interested in you, when I'm happy again, will you come back to shatter that too? What is your purpose? Why can't you be straight with me? You're a coward, A ******* COWARD!! I hate you SO MUCH! I spent 2 weeks miserable and you didn't care. I bet you were just fine. I bet those were the best days of your life. I hope you never find anyone else, I hope I never see you again. I'm tired of pining over someone who doesn't know what they want, who made empty promises and always held it against me when I didn't do the same. Because I was rational, I knew things could go wrong. But you thought I was the bad guy. I didn't love you and didn't want to be with you. Well, it seems like I did. You just didn't understand me enough or loved me enough. You wanted a plaything and when you didn't get it fully, you let it go. Too much hassle. Well, no longer. I just wish I could hate you more. Sometimes I don't even feel anything, just emptiness. Thanks for making me believe again and be happy for a while, just to lay me down on the dirt. I was so careful and you made me open up to you like no one else. It was so heartwarming, it felt like sunshine. But you couldn't even break up with me to my face. I didn't even deserve that from you. It wasn't so it was easier for us, it was so it was easy for you, because if I cried you would have felt terrible. But I did cry. I cry all the time, right? Maybe because you make me cry. You were just like my dad and I couldn't even see it. The times you spoke about him and his ways like he was a monster. YOU are the monster!! You did exactly what you said you despised, YOU ****** HYPOCRITE! I can't even begin to say how much I wish you were gone forever...