Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[BlackStar]

I could never repay you for what you've given me. Also, I can never forgive you for the pain you've caused me.

 

You made me trust you and melt into you like I had with no one else before. You said you would never let me go, that I would have to be the one to leave you. You told me that constantly. I believed you with all my heart.

 

I told you I was scared, last year. That I was making a mistake getting close with you. I knew it then. But you made me feel safe. I relaxed and trusted.

 

Now my worst fears are coming true. The pain is overwhelming, crippling. I can't be soothed.

 

Another sleepless night. Tears sliding from the corners of my eyes. I won't reach out, I know it makes you sick.

[kz91]

I miss you alot.

[kz91]

"Looks like a full moon tonight. Wonder if you saw it too. The two of us, separated forever, never to meet again, looking up at the same moon."

[Alone Now]

Is it at all possible to break up with a male best friend? Mine has seemed to fall off the face of the earth. We are supposed to travel up north for a concert tomorrow night. We are to leave the land of Disney this afternoon. And not a single word from him. GF knows that I found momentary pleasure in NG but that it was a mistake to be told so I don't think that is what is bothering him. I know he likes the band. I just don't know.

 

My PM buddy here on enot appears to have a similar friend BB who cheers her on and cheers her up. I hope she doesn't make the same mistake I have. Oh, to be able to talk to GF!

[Roka]

Hey, thanks so much for yesterday. I never loved anyone more than you. Whatever happens, I wish you bliss. I am always here for you, whenever or whatever you need.

 

Sorry for dudjing. If dating is what you need , than heal with that.

 

All my love to you . . .

[swans]

I want you to know that even though we are not together, we won't be together, you were my everything. My love for you keeps on growing. I will never talk to you again, I may love again, I may be happy. But you were the love of my life. I wish you nothing but the best. I now see that we both did our best.

[figmentations]

I miss you a lot today. I wonder what you're up to. It's a rainy, cloudy day and it's Friday. I wish you'd get out of my head. Or talk to me.

[mdavidohoh]

I'm still hurting but I know you're fine and you don't care.

[mdavidohoh]

Also, you took my towel.

 

That was a part of a set, a**hole. I want it back.

[BlackStar]

You scare me now, your quick anger, impatience, sneering. When we keep in touch, I put on my happy face, so I won't dampen the mood. This bothers you. I know because you jab me with old mistakes I've made, to bring me down. My happy mood upsets you and my sad mood upsets you. You are never satisfied. I disgust you, no matter what.

 

But you keep writing and keep in touch with me. When I reply back to you, you give me short, closed ended replies in return. I ask you questions because I care about you. You ask me nothing. You make me carry the conversation, struggle and work for it. You exhaust me.

 

After we chat, I always feel worse than I did before you contacted me. But I'm afraid not to answer you and leave you hanging. I'm afraid you'll go back to her, trash me to her. I am not strong enough to handle that. Three more months and you'll be too busy for any of this - you know why. I can carry our conversations until then. I see a dot of light at the end of this tunnel.

[todayisrough]

It's only two hours and 20minutes from your birthday right now! I wish I was there! You are probably getting ready to go out with friends, having a drink and having a laugh! I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself! I miss you right now! I've managed 31 Days of NC since you broke it off with me and you haven't talked to me once. Tomorrow will be the hardest day of it all. Wish I could hear your voice and hug you

[Sophia1975]

I wanted so badly to contact you. I wanted to say I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and that this year is filled with blessings and happiness. I wish I were still a part of it. But I accept that you don't, and I wish you all the best.

[quirky]

I missed you tonight. I missed what we had. I didn't think I was shallow but truth is very few guys are attractive compared to you. I can't connect with anyone..I don't know why. Often I feel like I am not there. Maybe I'm in my own world too much. How do you get on..? It must be so easy for you. There are more sophisticated attractive women than men..wish I was gay.

[beaton]

You know, I think we both had codependency issues. I know outwardly it probably looked like I depended on you a lot (and I did, too much) but looking back, you were always so eager to offer advice, and throw yourself into helping even when I really didn't want or ask for it,, even when I questioned you because didn't you have enough on your plate?

"No, no I can handle it, I can handle your problems, and his problems, and her problems, and this other couples problems etc etc" you were ALWAYS so involved in everyones problems. I never really saw that as a red flag before.

 

I became your project to fix. That is also an issue of dependency-- needing to be needed. It was a perfect storm because you made it so easy for me to sink into the comfort of knowing how happy helping seemed to make you, so I let you and then I started to forget how to trust myself. And started to demand your support, and then it all fell apart. I see that now. I don't blame you-- I'm just as at fault. I enabled you by accepting your help just as you enabled me by being so eager to help. We pulled eachother down.

So I suppose it's good that we are no longer together. That was not healthy.

 

I miss you though. I often wonder if, at the end of the year, how much will we have changed? Will our paths cross ever again?

[Roka]

Hey, I wish you peace,love,and joy. luv u! goodnight!

[periwinkle00]

I realized all you ever did in our phone conversations was complain complain comp lain. Yes, I have talked to you the other day, and that's what it was. I told you to write it in a journal. Get it out some other way. Tell the person who's bugging you. It's too much to bear your problems when I have my own..after I said that, you said "I'm gonna let you go", well, yes, that was appropriate.

 

So I use this forum as an outlet because I don't call you anymore. You called me the last two times. I realized this is a pretty effective method. It sucks though, because I see through the bull****. I see the man with hopes and dreams, the man with motivation, the man who believes in himself, but sadly, he is being overshadowed by the man who is selfish, the man who takes and takes, never to give, the man who complains to his friends, rather than celebrate shared visions.

 

The sad thing is, once you realize you are more than this, it will attract others with that sort of vibe..that's when it will be more of a possibility for you to find someone new..but, in all fairness, I am keeping an eye out for myself.

 

Friends are meant to enjoy one another's company, not bring each other down.

[todayisrough]

Today is your birthday! I went to bed with the thought of you and woke up with it again! This is torture

[IAmFCA]

I want to tell you what to do.I want to encourage you to look inside yourself. see how much you avoid. but you didn't ask.

[anotherlove]

I feel numb. I was stronger infront of you yesterday. As much as I would not have answered your call, I was hoping you would call. That would just make me feel better that I was in your thoughts. But apparently, you decided not to. Or no body would have pissed you today so you need'nt have to have me to say, its going to be ok like I always have to assuage you. The feeling that I am drifting away is sinking in me. That does not make me feel good. Folks at home, keep asking me why I look so dull. I dont have an answer. They are trying their best to cheer me, but little do they know what could actually bring a smile. I feel bad for them. But they try something you never did. Why did I never see that. How could I have been so blind.

[Eve123]

I feel pity for you. You are so alone, no friends, not anyone anymore and you dare insulting me even still now.

 

You think I am not responsible but you've done worst.

I truly wish I had never met you.

 

All you could do was hurt me and you still try today.

You are such a miserable bastard.

Look at you. You are worth nothing.

 

Go seek professional advice.

You are borderline or bipolar and all your misery, your hatred towards women you have put it on me.

 

I was too good to you.

 

I really hate you.

[Eve123]

I feel pity for you. You are so alone, no friends, not anyone anymore and you dare insulting me even still now.

 

You think I am not responsible but you've done worst.

I truly wish I had never met you.

 

All you could do was hurt me and you still try today.

You are such a miserable bastard.

Look at you. You are worth nothing.

 

Go seek professional advice.

You are borderline or bipolar and all your misery, your hatred towards women you have put it on me.

 

I was too good to you.

 

I really hate you.

 

I feel silly saying that and it's not helping either

[todayisrough]

I haven't text him Happy Bday .. It is 6pm now and I don't think I am ready to face more rejection and pain! He told me to move on and said those things about his ex, I told him not to contact me again! Right now I am sticking to no I won't text him after 32 Days NC! I made it so far i don't want to go back to the pain!

I might crack tonight and text him but I am trying to stay strong

[anotherlove]

I haven't text him Happy Bday .. It is 6pm now and I don't think I am ready to face more rejection and pain! He told me to move on and said those things about his ex, I told him not to contact me again! Right now I am sticking to no I won't text him after 32 Days NC! I made it so far i don't want to go back to the pain!

I might crack tonight and text him but I am trying to stay strong

 

I know this thread is for us to vent our feelings. But considering, you are in a turmoil just wanted to take a moment to say, Hang in there. This too shall pass. You have been very brave this 32 days and believe me, you will feel much better tomorrow when you realize,you did not text. It is these small moments of weakness that gets us back to square one. If he truly loved you, I am sure he would know that you would think of him today. if not, the text would be another text in his inbox. So just stay strong and we all will find peace.

[todayisrough]

Thank you so much for the kind words anotherlove! I needed to hear that! x

[Chalk]

I had a thought today. I remember how, more often than not, you would do better than me in exams. How would you act? Embarrassed? Humble? No. You would show me and I would be proud of you but also a little jealous (we were in the same career after all). Then you'd laugh at me for being jealous. I always felt so wrong for being jealous of you. But I was proud of you and always told you so. Jealously is a natural reaction. It shows us what we want. I wish you hadn't laughed at me & belittled me. When I did better than you...you always had an excuse...I had better exam technique. I wanted you to be proud of me but you never were.