Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Alone Now]

I want to tell you what to do.I want to encourage you to look inside yourself. see how much you avoid. but you didn't ask.

 

Offer your strong counsel to those who would accept it and apply it. Don't waste it on others. You can tell him anything you want, but unless he is ready to make changes for the better, it will go in one ear and out the other. There are those who will accept you kind encouragement and will become more insightful. And then there are those who fail to see a problem and bait you all over again. See the strength in those who take your advice and improve over those who will not. It seperates men from boys.

[Alone Now]

I had a thought today. I remember how, more often than not, you would do better than me in exams. How would you act? Embarrassed? Humble? No. You would show me and I would be proud of you but also a little jealous (we were in the same career after all). Then you'd laugh at me for being jealous. I always felt so wrong for being jealous of you. But I was proud of you and always told you so. Jealously is a natural reaction. It shows us what we want. I wish you hadn't laughed at me & belittled me. When I did better than you...you always had an excuse...I had better exam technique. I wanted you to be proud of me but you never were.

 

Chalk:

 

It is so easy to point fingers when you (not you specifically) are convinced that you are better than anyone else. It is belittling. It's a bully on the playground punching someone who is better at kickball. It is a man bully who threatens to beat someone up just because he is threatened by a new male friend. It is a little boy who ignores your successes and only makes excuses

[Alone Now]

"Looks like a full moon tonight. Wonder if you saw it too. The two of us, separated forever, never to meet again, looking up at the same moon."

 

What a wonderful sentiment kz. This is the exact reason one should never take someone else for granted. Cherish each day aand night!

[Alone Now]

MW. HOW DARE YOU!!!????[/B] You have stalked me to Athens, GA in hopes of a confrontation with J, my GF. Who do you think you are? I came to Athens with a friend to see a band that I have loved and admired for the past 30 years! Are you afraid I'm going to run off with J? Are you trying to scope out NG? NG is pretty much history!

 

Gratefully, the concert is sold-out so in order for you to get in, you will have to pay top dollar to see me. Haha! The only person you are helping is the band by giving them more money!

 

You really are pathetic! I am here with a friend for a concert! Nothing more, nothing less. But you want to stalk me and whoever I am with at any given time and try to figure out a way to bait me back into your web of dillusion and maniplulation. I will never get over you granted, but you are like a fly constantly buzzing in my ear. I came to Athens because I had such a great time New Years Eve seeing them. You remember New Years Eve when you were at a party with your significant other? The band played a song that I hope they play again tonight that poses the question "do you think about me the way I think about you". I know who that song was written for and who wrote it! And the amazing thing is MW? THEY ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS! Nothing more and nothing less. But the guy who wrote that song is unafraid to show his feelings. He is emotional and is not ashamed to show it. And trust me MW, he is all man! HE isn't on this tour for whatever reason, but if he was I would thank him on behalf of women everywhere how are taken for granted.

 

It seems even with NG, he got too comfortable too quickly and that was partially my fault. But NG is not interested in being emotional nor in a relationship. He is a drop dead beautiful man, but not willing to show interest in little more than his muscles and he knows it. My son likes both you and NG but he asks about J the GF a lot and for me that speaks volumes.

 

I'm walking to the venue now to have dinner with J. I'll be the one wearing the MF shirt walking in the rain with a friend and seemingly without a care in the world. Except you will be in the back of my mind.

 

"Do you think about me"

[periwinkle00]

I want to contact you. You sent me a message on facebook, and I left you hanging. I didn't know how to respond. God knows, you've done that to me so many times. I'm so surprised you even sent me a message on Facebook. You NEVER do.

Today has been a lazy day for me, and so my mind is sometimes getting the best of me. I don't know. I guess there's only so much music and writing can take part in..but if I call you, what is it gonna be? More complaining from you probably..life sucks this and life sucks that. Whatever, I guess. I don't even know if you're awake. You probably pulled an all nighter again.

 

You told me you were watching a show and something reminded me of you..that's what the facebook message was about..well, you know, if you like me so much, why don't you get it out some other way. Write in a diary, for God's sake. Don't tell me this stuff. You complain to me, and then the next day, you tell me you are reminiscing about me..boy, you can't play with a woman like that. It's not fair. You better you make up your mind.

 

Friends..we're friends, right? Go keep your options open for new life opportunities and new people if we're gonna be friends. Yeah, that will hurt if you find someone new, but then the friendship label would make more sense to me at least. Tell it to a diary, that's all I'm sayin'..and a forum. Don't involve me if you intend to play me like a yo yo.

[RougeQueen]

I miss you today. I miss talking to you. I won't reach out to you, though. As much as I miss you in this moment I know it would be worse in the long run if I broke NC. I'm sure you're having better conversations with your new girlfriend anyway. I wish I could stop picturing you together. I wish you would just disappear off the planet. I wish you would feel the same pain for me as I feel for you. I try to keep you out of my head but you sneak past my guards. It isn't your fault, I know. It's my lack of mental discipline. I never want to see you again. I never want to hear your voice. I don't ever want to catch a whiff of your scent. I want to be totally healed and completely whole.

[benjii]

You have destroyed me I have nothing left in life to live for Iv lost my car my flat and you. 5 months on and I'm struggling while your so happy and moved on and not hurting. I can't deal with this pain and deppresion much more ill doubt ill be around much longer as I have nothing left everything what truly made me happy has been taken from me. I have admit defeat with my life I can't carry on crying everyday on my own while the only thing I can stop the pain is knocking my self out with tablets. If you wanted to hurt me and destroy me you truly have seeing you with gavin after everything you two put me trough last time and you calling the police over has brought me to breaking point sorry I was a rubbish boyfriend obversious I didn't mean anything

[w3002665]

It's crazy how I never quite stop missing you....how you are still here with me even after all this time. I still miss you. I still think about you. I mean I'm doing fine....but then there is the end of the day, when everything gets still and quiet. It doesn't matter how busy I manage to keep myself, how many different things I've got going on....it's inevitable that it will come. I don't cry all the time anymore and haven't for a while. I don't feel like I'm literally coming apart from the inside out. But it is still there....the memories and the missing you. I still wonder if you ever think of me. If I even rate a thought in your mind anymore. I spend time with my married friends...watch them together, watch them with their children....at this point I barely know anyone who doesn't have those things. So I sit there alone....smiling....friendly....carefree. But still quietly aware that I am alone. And I can still remember what it was like when you were there with me, there next to me. And I ache for it. I ache for it tonight.

[IAmFCA]

tell me please why I had to choose to let someone so incredibly avoidant as you provide me with so much. the irony is that someone avant provided me with so much that the next guy has enormous shoes to fill. avoidant does should be ready to fill. just show up. but not yours. I would almost rather have not known, so shallow is my faith that I will find it again. but I will be... faithful?

 

I want to write to you about you. it's none of business and I won't. it's really distracting.

 

if I trust in the future, it will show me what I need to know.

[IAmFCA]

tell me please why I had to choose to let someone so incredibly avoidant as you provide me with so much. the irony is that someone like you provided me with so much that the next guy has enormous shoes to fill. avoidant shoes should be ready to fill. just show up. but not yours. I would almost rather have not known, so shallow is my faith that I will find it again. but I will be... faithful?

 

if I trust in the future, it will show me what I need to know.

[anotherlove]

Thank you so much for the kind words anotherlove! I needed to hear that! x

 

Anytime! I hope you managed to slip through the night. I realize in this journey, each day only makes us more stronger and happier than the previous day. Have a great week end!

[todayisrough]

Anytime! I hope you managed to slip through the night. I realize in this journey, each day only makes us more stronger and happier than the previous day. Have a great week end!

 

I managed not to text him Day 33 for me now! Every weekend I get sad there isn't a drunk text from him on my phone.. But really. What good would it do ! x

[todayisrough]

Wonderfully written! I could've said this myself! We will be ok! We are strong and will be happy again with and find someone who loves us the way we deserve x

[Alone Now]

tell me please why I had to choose to let someone so incredibly avoidant as you provide me with so much. the irony is that someone avant provided me with so much that the next guy has enormous shoes to fill. avoidant does should be ready to fill. just show up. but not yours. I would almost rather have not known, so shallow is my faith that I will find it again. but I will be... faithful?

 

I want to write to you about you. it's none of business and I won't. it's really distracting.

 

if I trust in the future, it will show me what I need to know.

 

STAY STRONG ITIC! I think you can too! Do you really want to take a step backwards? Is companionship worth suffering over? He obviously has a pattern of which you fall prey to each and every time it seems. You cannot fix what doesn't want to be repaired! He seems to like this holding pattern he has with you. And then what? Three months from now you are right back where you started from.

 

Writing to him opens up a door that you created and are expecting him to walk through again and again. That is not fair to you or your family. It's too confusing to explain his return and then sudden departure I think.

 

Faith is important. Even if you claim no religion, pray on it. Let God lead you in the direction you are suppose to follow when it comes to men. Is B a man of faith? If you are a woman of faith and he is not then what foundation is there? I know you aren't talking in terms of "faith" in the religious sense, but it can't hurt to try and find a man of faith. The stronger the faith, the better the man!

 

But what matters most right now is that you have faith in yourself and you are able to see what matters and what (and who) doesn't. It's difficult I understand, but I have faith in you! You are strong, your are caring, you have responsibilities and you have friends. Are you really willing to toss them all aside for this one guy?

 

STAY STRONG darn it! We support each other, you have taught me that and right now I am trying to support you but nothing good can possibly come from returning to old habits. A thirty day chip means nothing as you walk into a bar!

[Eve123]

I don't miss you. How can I miss someone who has hurt me ??

 

There were good moments in the beginning, but I don't miss that, because I had good moments with all my previous relationships.

 

I have thoough missed my peace of mind.

The one you took from me.

[IAmFCA]

thanks AN.

 

no I will not be contacting him.

 

I have been in this emotional space before, and it's been decades since the last time. it's that feeling of something out there. the trick is make it through the summer. in the fall, he will have made some significant life choices. I will have made it through my time of greatest availability, without him. then our daughters might end up in the same lacrosse club, different teams. and so our next meeting would be on the sidelines. this has happened before. he broke nc knowing we'd see each other.

 

even my gf is preparing me for it to take months to get rid of him, and that his shoes will be hard to fill.

.......

 

b

 

what is your darkness and how long do you intend to be stuck in it? have you been stuck for the years since moving to our city? Or is this new? if you were in a relationship, would you know how to share your darkness and recover together? can you be responsible?

I get that you are not suitable for me. I also get that you are, if it weren't for your crazy emotional issues.

 

can't you just fix that stuff???

[Alone Now]

thanks AN.

 

 

 

I have been in this emotional space before, and it's been decades since the last time. it's that feeling of something out there. the trick is make it through the summer. in the fall, he will have made some significant life choices. I will have made it through my time of greatest availability, without him. then our daughters might end up in the same lacrosse club, different teams. and so our next meeting would be on the sidelines. this has happened before. he broke nc knowing we'd see each other.

 

even my gf is preparing me for it to take months to get rid of him, and that his shoes will be hard to fill.

.......

 

 

You have a GF too? As if I'm the only one with a great friend who happens to be a guy. Good for you! You'll get over B in the course of time. He is holding you back from being happy. You already know what I hope for you and what I think you should do so I won't repeat myself. Find a beach, find BB and turn the music up LOUD!

[todayisrough]

I just messaged him a Happy Birthday! That is all! Back to Day 1 NC

[Alone Now]

MW: You were so out of your element last night at the concert. Why did you drive the 450 miles? To check up on me and GF? You embarrassed yourself greatly by giving the white guitar player the finger the entire time during his solo on Mickey's Monkey. People were staring more at you than at the musician. Yes, I know, in your own mind you are a much better guitarist than he is. Then why haven't you been in a band for the past 40 years? How many gold and platinum albums do you have hanging in your house. At last count, the members of MF have three gold albums and 2 platinum albums. Did you really think you would go unnoticed? It looked like the bass player wanted to drop you if you had given him or the lead singer any lip.

 

These guys are professionals, you played in a garage band. Have you ever written a song? Probably so. But has it gotten airplay? No. I have a pm buddy here who has had two songs written for her by a member of MF. And according to her, her friend thinks nothing about it, like it is just something he does. According to her, he is actually a little weird about having people know about his God given talent. Giving the guitar player and the world for that matter the finger is just something you do.

 

I really think you get off on being noticed as an angry guy. You claim to have had a tough life. Have you had cancer like D has? No, and even when she was dying from the cancer she kept her head held high and remained strong for her friends. It was an honor to have known D. Were you ever shot during your military career? No. Don't get me wrong, it's honorable that you served your country and I thank you for it. But you cannot honestly blame your negative sad sack attitide on things that you saw in the Gulf region. If that were the case there would be lots of men and women with chips on their shoulders.

 

You were messed up long before you and I began what we had. You were miserable from the beginning and you used it to your advantage every way possible because you said all the right things to draw me in. You said I was the only one who you could find peace with. I'm sure your wife has heard that before. You said you love my son like he was your own. Yet you rarely make mention of your own child. You are a f*cked up mess and you have so many tangled webs of issues that the harder I tried to be there for you, the more involved I got in that web and the deeper I thought I could cure you. Only you can cure you and you have decided that you aren't worthy. BU!!*****! You know you could change if you wanted to. That's why they have mental health professionals. And there is no shame in seeking help MW. But there is shame in ignoring the issues and continually using every reason under the sun for why you are the way you are. BE A MAN and go talk to a professional and not your golf pals or your facebook friends! The smartest thing, no the healthiest thing I did was to take you off my friends list. I used to stalk you and wonder if you knew. Well, I don't stalk you anymore and I don't care if you are wondering why.

 

Last night you demonstrated your classic behavior. People all around you were dancing and hooting and hollaring and having a great time and you distanced yourself from them as if you were either too good for them or that you didn't think you were worthy. You want people to think that you are this fairly good looking shy guy but in reality you are self-loathing. You try to show off as a big man, but you are, in reality, lacking any self esteem. AND I BOUGHT INTO IT! You used your self-loathing to bait me and I took the hook each and every time! I can't cure you and you refuse to help yourself, so I am all but done with you.

[todayisrough]

Getting drunk now cause i sent you a Happy Birthday.. Feeling lonely

[Alone Now]

Getting drunk now cause i sent you a Happy Birthday.. Feeling lonely

 

I have made the same mistake in the past with birthday greetings and hoping for a responce that might never come. Just be prepared for that and hang on. You can manage through this!

[todayisrough]

I have made the same mistake in the past with birthday greetings and hoping for a responce that might never come. Just be prepared for that and hang on. You can manage through this!

 

Thank you hun! Just feeling sorry for myself and I can not wait to feel so exhausted to just fall asleep.. We all know the feeling .. Big hugs xx

[Alone Now]

Dear NG:

 

I am taking a page from someone else and am giving serious consideration to ending things with you. You are a sweet guy and have an amazing body, but we lack a basic connection. Even when we were together, we were apart. We were two people hanging out but doing our own thing. I'm not saying independence is bad.

 

When I got home from Athens, my little man immediately asked about GF and then you. Not a word about MW. That isn't to say he doesn't like you but I think it speaks volumes of introducing him to you too fast, because now there is confusion in his mind. It was a terrible mistake on my part and I am sorry for having done it. I admit I used you for sex and because you are so darned cute, but I would rather hold off on having sex and instead have a great time with my GF.

 

I took things entirely too fast with you NG. I felt the need to have a boyfriend; to be in a committed relationship and was willing to look anywhere for it. And for this, I am sorry. I am glad to be rid of you in that way. I am looking forward to having space for me and my son and when I want to hang out and laugh and be silly, I know GF will fit the bill. I don't feel like I'm using GF. We like each other and probably love each other as friends. And my son likes him without being forced to. It was expected that he like you and MW because of the way I presented you both.

 

I would never compare you to MW because that would be insulting to you. MW will forever be lost, confused, angry and bitter. And will never ever do anything about it. He enjoys it I think. It makes him seem like he needs me and for the longest time, and probably even now, I feel like he needs me as well. But it is unhealthy for me. Both you and MW are wrong right now.

 

Where does GF fit into this you ask? He will be my friend. He and I will go to the beach and play in the surf and sand. We will hold hands and probably share a non-sexual bed on occasion. He is a stand up guy NG. I think you would like him. He has faults like anyone else, but the difference from MW is that he knows these faults and works towards being a better man. He will be great as a friend and he will tell me things that I often will not want to hear, but that is how a friendship works.

 

NG, I knew things were done the last couple of times we talked. What was once so much fun and lasted for hours became strained and hard. We may as well have been talking about the weather. And to be perfectly honest with you, I was thinking about MW and GF most of the time that we talked lately. It is my character flaw, not yours.

 

I wish you the best NG, there is going to be a wonderful woman out there for you. I'm just not her.

[stalumfi]

I'm not quite sure if you're looking for something from me, so I'll stay quiet. If there are things you have to decide on, don't hurry; I'm in the midst of all sorts of changes and I don't know how things will go ultimately. I do hope at the least that we don't disappear from each other's lives entirely.

[IAmFCA]

B

 

This forum is the only place I will say this.

 

I posted a picture today. It is my favorite picture anyone has ever taken of me and the girls. I like it so well that I want it on my wall. I posted it where you and I have a long history of keeping track of each other. Last week, you wrote me a Its Not You Its Me letter, and never a truer word was spoken. You said your time with us offered you the few moments of light in your time of darkness. Then you posted a pic of you shirtless. Yeah yeah, its in keeping with your tri theme. I know. Well, I posted one with so much joy and light in it that I think someone would buy it even if they didnt know us.

 

I hope it hurts like hell.

 

My letter to you ends there. Punctual, cutting, targeted. You are an axs for letting me slip through your fingers and you know it and I know you know it.

 

This part is my whine.

 

I can bring to mind, B, as I know you can too, things that I wont write about here. I can do this while buying cheese, while driving on the beltway, I can do this instantaneously and scandalously, anywhere, anytime, at will.

I can drive with my hand on your leg, I can pass a look while you back me up to my kids. I can read a book. The fact is, you make no damx sense because there is not a thing that you seemed to miss, except for the feeling of suddenly having something to lose.

 

 

If I ever, and I may never, write to you again - actually I never have - , perhaps I will simply say that one day, you will discover something so important to you, that it is more important to have it, than to be free of the fear of losing it. On that day, B, you will grow a centuries' worth of depth, because when you make that discovery, you will know it and it will have meaning for you. I wish that discovery upon you.

 

Meanwhile danx you, because I know what we would be doing right now, and it would be so fun we would be surprised at our own good fortune. And that is BEFORE we retire for the night.

 

The best I got? An opportunity to focus on my stuff cus I know what I want and I know where it is and I dont have it. V did this, and 5 years later, R figured it out. Do I have that here? I dont know.