Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LonelyGirl10]

I miss you. You cheated on me repeatedly. You lied about who you were, and you lied about everything. And I still miss you. I miss the way you smell. I miss your touch. I miss your freckles. Sometimes I have fantasies of just ignoring everything that happened, and being with you. I love your laugh. And your smile. And the way you slouch.

 

But it was all a lie. You had sex with a prostitute. You called me a ***** for giving a guy a blowjob while I was single, and you paid for a prostitute.

 

You had sex with two girls while you were with me. Two girls. How do you love someone and do that?

 

I thought you were better. I thought you were the one. How am I ever going to get over you?

[Seff]

You said I was a keeper. You said you'd never leave me but you did. Get out of my head you lying, fat fingered, guppy face. (Yes I'm calling you childish names now - it helps.)

[Alone Now]

ITIC, please see below

[Alone Now]

ITIC, are you sure you are over this MW and ready to start something new with possible new guy? PLEASE give serious consideration to this. It sounds as though you are cheating yourself the opportunity to grieve the loss of this MW even if he is MW and what disservice are you subjecting yourself and quite possibly the new guy to? Jumping from MW to the new guy only spells disaster for both of you. You may not agree with me but I know what I am talking about. You may think that you are completely over MW right now but how could you be? It has only been a few weeks and you have picked up with someone new. MW has obviously hurt you a great deal and beginning a new relationship with new guy would be a big mistake in my opinion because it is clear that you still care a great deal for MW. Regardless of whether you think you are done with MW and are completely over MW, you should take quite a few months to be on your own because jumping from one to another to another just for companionship is very dangerous for all concerned. What if MW does change, even though you don't think he will, what happens with new guy? Does new guy deserve this flip flop? Do you deserve to get lost in someone else when you are still having thoughts and dreams of MW?

 

In reading your blogs, which I have enjoyed and learned so much from, I see a pattern developing. You were with MW and then the quasi-man, then MW and now new guy. Why would you subject yourself to this heartache? And why would you allow yourself the possibility of hurting someone new while you carry a large amount of concern for MW? It really doesn't see fair to all parties.

 

Take it with a grain of salt, but I think you are doing yourself, MW, the quasi-man and the new guy a GREAT disservice and I feel bad for all of you. Especially the potential new guy. PLEASE reconsider starting something new while still obviously loving and caring about MW. He might not be great, but he still is a huge part of your heart and your life. You need to mourn the loss, be it in terms of months or years and not by starting a new relationship with a new guy. If new guy is meant to be then he will understand and possibly appreciate your need to be on your own for a couple of months. If he is to be the new guy, he will wait for you and if not and if he is pushing for a relationship so darned close to the break up with MW, what does that say about him also? Rushing into a new relationship with new guy? Who would benefit from this? No one I'm afraid.

 

I'm so sorry for being so blunt but I think I have made a few valid points for you to consider.

 

AN

[kz91]

All the stuff you got me, I put it all in a big bag and put it in my other room in the new house, at least that way I don't have to see it and resist temptation. I think it shows that I'm ready to move on now, I accept what's happened. I'm too tired, I'm exhausted.

 

I hope you're happy.

[Bunney]

It has been three days since you are out of my life. I didn't expect it, I wasn't prepared, not ready to lose you. I'm still having a hard time understanding what happened and how your love for me could subside when not too long ago, it was so strong. I thought strong enough to accept my flaws and have faith in that I will work on them so that my issues wouldn't cause problems for us in the future. I don't know if you're going through some inner conflicts or something else that I don't know about, and if that's the case then I wish you would've opened up to me the same way you always wished I open up to you.

It all doesn't make very much sense to me - the feeling of emptiness is starting to feel like it's slowly killing me, and even though I have wonderful friends and family that make it all seem just a little bit brighter, I can't help but having to face this void that you left in my heart when I'm alone at home. It is strange not talking to you after doing that literally every day for nearly half a year - I keep trying to make sense of how we went from such a happy, amazing couple to being strangers again.

 

 

As much as I try to convince myself that it was for the best, I just can't see it. I somehow believed that we were invincible, that two people with as strong of a connection as you and I had just belong together. Not in a million years did I think that you would break it off after all these promises about how you would never leave me, never hurt me and never give up on us - how could you go from loving me so much to 'not wanting a future with me'? After all the late-night conversations about our future together, how much we look forward to it, and that you even told your mother that you can actually see yourself marrying me and starting a family with me? After telling me that I am the first girl ever that you can see yourself end up with?

 

 

I miss you - I miss us, how we were, how we spent our time together, having fun no matter what we did. Even being bored together was fun. I miss your smile, perhaps the most gorgeous smile I've ever laid my eyes on. Your generosity, how you took care of me... I've probably failed to tell you how much I appreciated that. I miss cuddling and falling asleep together on Skype, our playful banters and teasing eachother, running into your arms at the airport. Yes, we argued a lot, probably stemming from us both having strong personalities and being stubborn. But I loved how we both were always willing to admit when we were wrong and apologize, and somehow those fights brought us closer together. I realize that a lot of them have been caused by me, and I regret that so much. I know that if we were to give it another shot, I would work so hard on all my issues and never let them cause tension and trouble between us - instead, I would be so much more relaxed and easy-going, and accepting of things. I probably took you for granted sometimes and that too is something I would never do again. It is really the hardest part of it all - blaming myself and wondering if you'd still be here if I hadn't or had done certain things. As you know, I have difficulties letting someone get close to me, and somehow after letting my guard down and actually opening the door to someone, it makes me act in ways I usually don't. It is almost like it freaks me out so much that I act in destructive ways to sabotage the relationship. But I thought that we would be going to stay together long enough for me to overcome these feelings and go back to my normal, bubbly, free-spirited and confident self. I'm having such a hard time accepting that with my occasional stupidity and probably even craziness, I may have pushed you away and made your feelings subside. I somehow believed you would stick with me through good and not only bad, but also the worst, but it was unfair to expect you to deal with the same things over and over again. In the back of my mind I probably justified it with the saying, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".

 

 

I know that there is nothing I can do, except for promising with all my heart that I wouldn't do the same mistakes again a second time around. And I know it's never just one person's fault - so whether I acted jealous a lot of the time or not would maybe not have made a difference in the outcome of everything. I can only assume. And sure, you had flaws as well, a lot of them probably. But I never expected perfection from you, and adored you as you are. I've stopped having the belief that there is "the one", some person that is exactly right for you - that person doesn't exist, and I hope that isn't why you decided to leave me. No person in this world fits you to a hundred percent, mainly because we are all so different, with different upbringings. We all have our own issues that result from our past and they will clash in any relationship, but if the bond is strong enough you somehow make it work and help eachother deal with them.

 

I don't know where exactly we went wrong and at what point - all I know is that I saw a wonderful future for us, a lot of potential that has just gone to waste now. I accept that this is how it is now, and I'm going to move on, but I will keep our memories close to my heart and probably always wonder 'what if'. I don't expect you to come back, and I'm not sure I even want that because it would be so hard to trust you again.

 

Listening to this cover helps in a way - it makes me think of us, our situation and wish that that's the things we would be saying right now instead of it being over.

(Boyce Avenue - For the first time)

 

Love,

 

L.

[Robin2904]

I'm so sick over these bombings, I can't even put it into words. I really do pray you and your family are okay. Maybe I should lay my pride down and contact one of you but I just can't bring myself to. I'm sure you're fine...but its still really shaking me hearing about all of this. I'm sick over it.

[Alone Now]

I talked to GF today for a couple of minutes and it didn't go as well as I had hoped. He seemed distant and detached from the conversation even though we weren't talking about anything in particular. I asked him if he wanted to go and drive to Athens to see a band I know he likes play next month and he was very noncommittal about it. Yes we would stay over night in Georgia. Yes we would probably share the same room but we have shared the same bed non-sexually many times before. So I'm not sure what I should do.

 

I also heard from MW again today and he said he wanted to see me next weekend when his wife is away on business. The offer is tempting but I don't think I can do it. There is a possible new gentleman in the mix now and I need to take my own advice that I gave ITIC and completely just be this guys friend. Jumping from one MW to a new possible guy would be tragic to say the least. I told ITIC that she needed time to focus on herself and I need to do the same thing. A few months of being on my own and possibly seeing what happens with GF only makes sense to me right now. Jumping into a new thing sounds inviting but I need to be able to stand on my own two feet so I think the new guy will have to be put on a back burner for a while. Maybe come fall season.

 

I don't know what is wrong with me thinking that I have to be in a relationship all the time. It doesn't define who I am or what I have to offer someone else. It is as though I need to find a guy right now to find my place on the earth and nothing could be further from the truth. Going from one relationship to another only sounds good in my head. When I think about it I get the feeling that it really speaks volumes of my own needs and that I am ill prepared to be in a relationship with any man right now. A man doesn't complete me.

[IAmFCA]

Hey. I forgot to write on here today about you. Now that its late and I have two computers running, I thought of you.

 

And that's it. I told someone at work that i dumped you today. And in the telling, I was so over it. There is just no part of me that tweaks. So, yeah, its sticking. I suppose I will see you, but in fact I dont think I will. Its weird. Before, I knew I would but I didnt know when. This time, its so over I don't expect I will ever see you again, except for eventually, like months / years from now. I mean, I am just so done, you know how done I am, its just so obvious how done I am. Maybe I will see you in a random airport. Maybe I will say hi. Maybe I wont even. Done. Glad I had you when I was swimming in the ocean, freshly born into a world of sharks and without a safety net for the first time--- ever? I am ready now. I got my learnin'. I dont even feel pain, I dont feel numb, I feel ready for my life and joy as I watch it unfold. I have left you and the part of me that wanted and needed you the way I have left my footie pajamas to Goodwill. Just done left you for good my man, and I ain't missin ya neither.

 

Oh, yeah, pardon my manners. I hope all is well with you.

[IAmFCA]

AN

 

Respectfully suggest that GF might = new man in terms of your emotional landscape. If your goal is to be relationship free, then think of GF as a GF and give TONS of space and put that leftover energy into a project, an achievement, something that will affirm your own effectiveness.

[Alone Now]

AN

 

Respectfully suggest that GF might = new man in terms of your emotional landscape. If your goal is to be relationship free, then think of GF as a GF and give TONS of space and put that leftover energy into a project, an achievement, something that will affirm your own effectiveness.

 

ITIC

 

I would suggest and hope that you allow yourself the same!

[IAmFCA]

ITIC

 

I would suggest and hope that you allow yourself the same!

 

Yes I know you do, AN. Thank you for looking out for me.

[Alone Now]

Against my better judgement I have decided to have a dinner date with a new guy. Those who have followed me know that I may be making a big mistake because I just reengaged with me GF. What happens to GF if I don't like the new guy? And where does the MW fit in to all of this?

 

Advice please?

 

I feel like I should take a break from dating anyone right now and should take the time to figure out who I am. MW left the scene about a month ago and I feel like I am rushing into something new because I need to be involved with someone all the time. Please fellow enots, give me some advice as to whether I am making a huge mistake by taking up with a new gentleman too soon!

[Alone Now]

I had a dinner date with a new guy and what I think I found out is that I'm not ready for new guy. The new guy is really really hot and charming but I found myself thinking about GF the entire time we were together. Did I date too soon? I foolishly made plans to go out tomorrow after I teach my class with the new gentleman but I know what is going to happen then as well. Yup, I'm going to be thinking about the GF even as hard as I might try not to.

 

Why did I decide seeing a new guy so soon after MW was a good idea? Do I need companionship? Do I have a school girl need to be in a relationship and feel like someone likes me more than anyone else? I just don't know what I should do.

[aw1992]

I'm not sure if whatever happened at yours meant anything to you or not...Was it just an urge, impulse and meaningless? I just hope it wasn't out of pity. I hope it meant that on some level you want us back, even if it's not now. I love you and I want you back sweetheart. Kissing you again was the sweetest thing.

[periwinkle00]

I had another dream about you. I remember you said this other woman and yourself had had a relationship, but you dismissed our's (maybe because I mistook it for a relationship in the later days, when really it was only a friendship) You had lost a bit of wait, and your hair was long, like when I met you. It hurt that you were dismissive.

 

Now, after having a dream about you, I want to contact you again, and so I'm writing here. I wonder how you're dealing with all this?

 

Every night before bed, I think of you hugging me. I like to think that you're still in my life, just not physically. It's as if you've died, and I'm mourning, keeping you by my side.

[Av8torwillieb]

Why did you drive by my house the other night? Were you bored? Curious if I was out or if another woman was over? Considering stopping by to tell me something? I may never know and it doesn't matter anyway.

[periwinkle00]

It would be so easy to unblock you from Facebook and check you out.

The impulse..so easy..

But I can't help but think "What about after that"?

 

It's been 6 weeks NC now..I keep writing "months" by mistake, and deleting it. It feels like it.

 

I miss your beautiful blue eyes, and your smile. Your nose..your height. You're just hot..to hot to handle, I guess.

 

I just wish things were like how they were before, but better. No waits between me calling you and you calling me back, more honest communication, and more honesty within our own lives. I've always been one to my own thing, and you do your's..but this just feels like too much sometimes.

 

I have my things I do to cope, mainly taking long walks, writing, and listening to music. You just started school. I wonder if you get distracted and think about me. Maybe your mind doesn't work that way so much. I wonder what you do to cope. I wonder how bearable it is for you.

[positivity16]

You're still on my mind every day! So much that I can't focus on anything else. I hate this, giving you space. Don't you see that I could help you get through this? Don't you think that maybe God brought us together in the first place so that you would have something positive to hold onto, a shoulder to cry on, while you're going through all of this? Instead, you pushed me away, and now you're just stringing me along. It's killing me that you're depressed and that you've shut me out and won't let me be there for you in the ways that I would like to be. You don't see it now, through your grief, but I know that my presence in your life would do you a great deal of good.

 

I've started praying for you on a daily basis, and it's funny because neither of us is very religious! I pray that you'll get through this tough time, and that you have found healthy ways to cope. I pray that you are taking care of yourself, because we both know how little you care about yourself when you would rather be helping others. I pray that you aren't ready to let me go for good. I pray that someday you will come back to me. I pray that I will have the strength, the patience, and the understanding to continue giving you the time that you need.

[periwinkle00]

I've reached a point where it is so painful..more painful than before. 6 weeks NC..isn't this the time when one or the other usually caves in? Oh my Gosh. I want to. I don't know...I may end up doing it.

[IAmFCA]

i've reached a point where it is so painful..more painful than before. 6 weeks nc..isn't this the time when one or the other usually caves in? Oh my gosh. I want to. I don't know...i may end up doing it.

 

tomorrow is another day! Take a nap! Go to the movies! Noooooooooooooooo coooooonnnnnnntaaaaaacccccttttt

 

 

[IAmFCA]

For someone like me who occasionally strays to needing nothing to go to waste, I find it funny that I would rather waste a ticket then go with you to the show tomorrow.

 

THAT has never happened before, not even when I was offended by you, hurting, righteous, or anything else. Now that I am at my most peaceful, I also can let the ticket go and spare myself the weirdness of dealing with your two-faced behavior.

 

So, um, yeah. I am going to the show. You are not. I might meet the guys before/after. Probably won't bother. I suppose you could go and bring your 14 year old? I wonder. Last time, you avoided going because you were pretty sure I would go to too. This time, I don't know if that would keep you away, make you show up, or even be a factor. This time, I think you are over me too. Even still, I am glad not to be bringing a date. Just in case. Not because I don't want you to see it. Rather, I would be uncomfortable, just paying attention to where you are, wondering if you were giving my man the hairy eyeball. How silly.

 

And of course, if for some reason you bring A, which you won't, I will be pleased to meet her. All hi, great show! What do I care? I got the better end of that deal.

[Alone Now]

ITIC, you really aren't over this guy. Sorry.

[IAmFCA]

No, of course not. But I am not in pain either. And I really really really truly would not take him back if he were begging at my front door. I am not even sure if he would still make me laugh. I may not have him out-of-my-system over, but I am so over him in terms of wanting him, missing him, comparing other men to him. He was the bookend on an era that opened up for me a few years ago, and he helped me close it. Feels really good.

[Alone Now]

No, of course not. But I am not in pain either. And I really really really truly would not take him back if he were begging at my front door. I am not even sure if he would still make me laugh. I may not have him out-of-my-system over, but I am so over him in terms of wanting him, missing him, comparing other men to him. He was the bookend on an era that opened up for me a few years ago, and he helped me close it. Feels really good.

 

I know I am singing the same song, but I would beg you to reconsider starting with new guy for a couple of months ITIC. Nothing good will come of it and like someone told me it would probably just push you back to the MW. You need to concentrate on you and your daughter and not some new guy. He won't validate who you are and I know how intoxicating the attention can be. But I think you are only setting yourself up for a disaster that will take you several steps back as well as introducing your daughter to disrupting behavior becuase she is still young enough to pick your habits up it seems.