Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[myheadvsheart]

Yes, I miss you too. I still don't want your friendship.

[GrowingIn]

I just want to know why?

 

The third time my ex wife disrespected me, gave me an ultimatum and threatened to leave.....I said go. It took a long time for me to get over her, went to the depths of hell and climbed out of the darkest hole I have ever been.

 

That was supposed to make me stronger.

 

The next fling I had, when things got bad I let it go....moved on and found someone else. And we both ended it maintaining our dignity and some self respect.

 

With this one I had a great relationship for awhile and cared for her a lot. In fact she may have been the one true girl I really cared for. And out of all the ones I dated, she deserved the help I gave her. I did a lot for her and got little in return, but she did make me feel loved. We only had a few fights in one year, and always maintained respect for one another.....but then began the drama. But even then we respected each other and we were PROUD of that fact. Once again, I forgave her once, I forgave her twice but when she betrayed me a third time and she wanted to leave I told her to go and never come back.

 

I stuck to my guns. I never contacted her again since that day. I thought I was even stronger. I thought I had learned how to respect myself and put an end to bad relationships when the time comes. I also thought I had learned how to deal with break ups since I did not fall down into a deep, dark hole again. I was down, but I kept my head high.

 

Then YOU came along. After all that learning. After all I have been through, WHY and HOW could have I possibly let you disrespect me and make me feel so low from the very beginning? Why did I even try with you? Why did I even allow it? Why did I play your stupid game and stooped to your level? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Why, instead of walking away did I began fighting and playing the emotional/abusive game? I KNEW what a good relationship feels like. I HAD it before. I tried to do that with you too. Why did you fight me so much on it? Why did you not WANT to get along? Because you only had bad ones and tried to do that with me, that's why? But why did I allow it? Why did I stick with you still hoping, when I KNEW, and I could see that you cared so little for me. That you had no long term intentions with me. Yeah you helped me with some money when I was in the dumps. You think that's what I needed? You think that means you are justified in your actions to use me as a stepping stone when I had real feelings for you? You think you can give me money in exchange for my feelings? I'm not a * * * * ing * * * * * . I am a guy. You just caught me in the worst period of my life. After I had lost everything. So you think that's who I am. I am not like your exes who were happily letting you take care of them. I FELT LIKE * * * * the whole time because I never had to depend on a woman before, and all I wanted was to give you what you said you never had: A guy that takes care of you for a change. That IS the kind of guy I am. I just wanted you to be patient and understand it's going to take some time for me to get back on my feet. Only you didn't believe in me. You thought I was like them? You have me wrong baby. You have me very, very wrong. Even though I had already achieved at 25 what you are still searching for, I let you act as if you were above me? Why did I just not put an end to it myself the many times I wanted to? Because I felt bad to leave you crying and alone. But you know what? I had been there. I KNEW what I had to do. I did it before. Why was I strong before to put a stop to relationships that were much better than what I had with you, that were much healthier, and much less one sided, yet with you I stayed and took all of your * * * * , hoping that one day we would end up together.

 

What was the point of all the previous suffering, and learning, and experience if I allowed you to treat me so damn bad. How could have I let myself be used like this? HOW COULD I? I never let anyone make me feel so low, and I just do not understand how I could let you. It's NEVER worth it even if we would have gotten married. What the hell was wrong with me?

 

You told me at the end you do not want the mess we had? HOW DARE YOU? DO YOU REALLY * * * * ING THINK I DID? Did you not see how much I tried changing and working on our issues and stopping that miserable way of communicating? If you truly did not want that, why did you never even make an attempt to work with me, to be a team, to make compromises and to change that mess and to be NICE to each other?

 

No....I think that is EXACTLY what you wanted. Because it gave you justification in staying while it was convenient and then leaving. You did NOT act like someone that wanted to make it work. You were USED to crap like that, could take it without a hitch, and could bounce out whenever you finally got what you wanted. You have been so beaten up that you no longer feel anything do you, and you think others should handle it just as well.

 

ME? I have never had such an abusive, disrespectful, heartless, and empty relationship with anyone. You want to know how it's not me? Because I wasn't taught to be like that. I had no idea how to be like that till I met you. It's you and all the * * * * ed up men you allowed to treat you like * * * * and use you. It's you doing to me what they have done to you and I warned me and you from the beginning to not allow that to happen. You were right when you first said I don't deserve that. I DIDN'T! And you should have let me walk out the door the first week I met you when you KNEW you could not commit or be with me in the same way I was with you. But you didn't. You jumped on me and * * * * ed me for all the wrong reasons and I knew then. You did it, not because you were ready and wanted to be with me. But because you NEEDED me to help you in a new place and didn't want to be alone.

 

And no...I'm not happy and not grateful for the sex and some money you gave me. Cause I never wanted to JUST * * * * you and the only reason I took your money was because I thought we'd stick around for me to take care of you in return when you needed it. No baby. You are too chicken * * * * and a coward to open up to someone, someone that stood there, even after all the crap and proved to you that they can and will love you just as you are because of what they did to you in the past! No baby, you act like a freaking man, and you wanted me to be grateful for it. I will never play that role, because there's only room for one man in a relationship and that is me. You need to learn how to be a woman and leave the man's role to the man.

 

You will go right back to another abusive * * * * * that will treat you like dirt, like how you are used to. But I won't be there to pick you up next time. Find some other idiot!!!

 

PS: And why do I feel so gay after doing all this?

[Danny77]

Hey sare.

Don't know if you miss me or not but I just wanted to say I miss you so much.

The bed's empty and the house isnt as bright without you here.

I miss making you hot chocolates while you were studying in bed and I miss checking in on you every 15 mins and you being excited to see me every time I did.

You would always put your books down and open your arms for a hug.

 

I'll never be your friend as I can not bare to see you like this with another person.

One day if i get back to Canada then I will see you again.

I'll just look the other way and make it easy for us both.

But I know you, you'll wanna talk coz you're so nice and kind all the time.

Hopefully I'll be stronger then and I'll keep it short and sweet.

You know when I'm on form that I'm unstoppable in social situations so maybe I'll just leave it up to future me. He'll deal with it.

 

Anyhooooo.

Hate the way you just left in such a disrespectful way.

I hope all the travelling with your moms inhertience is fun.

That was our family you're spending there.

Seems wrong to me for you to have done that in such a sensative time but you always were about you.

 

I wish you happieness but hope you'll learn one day that you did wrong to someone you loved and who loved you.

 

p.s. I know that you still wear the ring. On the other hand tho.

It took alot of courage for me to have that made and the day I proposed I sat in the house and listened to my fav album thinking about if I was doing the right thing.

Here's something you didn't know.

Due to the way I percieved you and your avoident behavour....... not gonna lie hun,

I had my doubts.

 

I will never ignore my gut feelings again.

 

Sleep tight.

I miss you (her)

[Lavender25]

I wish my relationship had been long enough so I could have things to be mad about. I want to get angry because I think it would be easier to move on and not want him in my life anymore.

 

But the relationship was wonderful and the break up was heartfelt and I know that he cares about me.

 

I guess the only thing I could get mad about is that he left. He left and he hardly gave me a reason why. But then I find that I can't get mad at him for not giving me a reason because I don't believe he knows what that reason is.

[doiiiieeezie]

Stop texting me, it's over. I'm not going to answer you.

[Kev0s1983]

Happy Birthday baby girl.

 

Something odd happened today... Do you remember the flight to Singapore? I watched "The Town" and it cut out with two minutes to go? Hehe annoying as hell! But! All was saved the next flight cos it was on that flight too, I had enough time, enjoyed it, so figured I would watch it again... The movie got to the same point and crashed again my folks went to the flicks tonight and saw "Source Code" when they came back they had a dvd they rented from blockbusters. I asked them to grab one on their way home. My father asked "what do you wanna see?" I replied "Meh, something good (my folks have a bad habit of picking dire films!), so, ofcourse, they happened to pick The Town. I watched it and was semi miffed it didnt crash. I got to see the entire film baby otis. I guess its not really significant, is it worth saying the chances of them picking that film is slim? Is it even anymore notable that of all days they picked that movie on today? I didnt event think about me asking them to grab a movie and having the slightest chance of it being the same one...

 

They dont know its your birthday. I was toying with the idea of getting them to write you an email "from them" - yea right, cos that wouldnt have been seen through huh? They adored you. If they had known some of the stuff I know, they would have been a tougher nut to crack!! But I didnt want anyone to know your bad points. I wanted them to judge you on your own behaviour, attitude... Figured it was the best way, the fairest way... And G*d damnit, ofcourse they loved you whats not to love? I dunno... All out of significant dates after today princess. All gone. Just waiting till your mother contacts me again and lets me know the date of the flight. I will meet her. What I would give for you to somehow be there too. A big secret. Man I would actually fall about the place huh!!

 

You will always be there in my heart and I believe I will always be there in yours too. What we had doesnt just go away or die. It just... stays in the shadows of thought and healthy, revitalised in memories that randomly arise through random events that mean only something to you and something to me.

 

With every warm wish in my heart, have a perfect day.

 

Goodnight baby girl, stay special

 

KxXxXxK

[r0ckox]

Hey,

 

I'm awesome, and you're not.

[Vanilla Sky]

Well here we go again, you come on to me, you to want to talk, after some pleading we actually start talking about what happened and then you shut down again, yes of course now you have to go shopping and we talk later, whatever, or weren't you alone, that would make sense too. Why is it so freakin hard for you to be open with me? Dont you think I've been through enough and either leave me alone or give me the closure. But your damn mind games you are so selfish, you just put yourself first absolutly no consideration for my feelings. eff you really. The realisation you were just stringing me along until you were ready is hard for me but at least admit to it. It would make at least some sense to understand. I accept that you arent a honest person, not everyone is able too, but at least today you could have been fair to me. Did you really know that this week our baby would have been born? Or did you just do some sweet talk? Do you ever think about it? Does it bother you? Even if you would answer I dont trust that you are telling the truth. "i was afraid of settle down n that was really what i wanted", "I wanted u n to b with u just did not know how to show u that r act upon it" "I made a big mistake and didnt know what I was thinking" " I knew you were miss right". Really?? Who dissapears on miss right? And who abandons her after she tells you she is pregnant? An yeah right you couldnt even stop by then and now you want to tell me you would have came after the accident eff that again. You always want to see me?? And you didnt get the message? You are so full of it. And now you tell me you cant let it go, it has been always on your mind? I think you dont want me to let it go. You want someone who sits there and thinks of you so you dont feel so damn lonely. Well guess what I dated someone for a while, and while I was with him I didnt think of you. Only when I was alone I did. And I still think of you daily, of us and how it would have been with our child. I still love you but I think its the memorys and the phantasie of the person I thought you were. But my heart doenst realise that.

 

I really want to wish you well, I want to say you werent all that bad and you didnt want to be with me and I dont want to be with someone who doesnt love me back, so its for the best and I have room to find someone who does. But with you always coming back and trying to lure me back in and telling me you want to be with me for good and then let me standing there waiting and nothing happens. It makes me think you're a bad person and what makes taht me look like. I spent my time with a selfish ahole. Why cant you give me the freedom to wish you happiness, I need that to move one but I cant when you make me hope we will be together I'm not strong enough to refuse that. And I've been through enough this year, why cant you give me something? Why cant you think one single time, at least this week, what is best for me?

 

Well I dont know if you really come back later to talk, if you really went shopping or if your other string along left, and if you will actually say something usefull. Oh god this still makes me cry. I know I will be waiting for it anyways, be disappointed again that it wont happen, and hopefully one day this will all be over. I stopped trying to ask you what happened cause I know I will not get an answer and even if I do I wont trust to believe it. So I'm working on accepting, but stop making it hard for me. I got so much on my plate that I need to handle in September, I doubt that I will be able to but I need you to give me the freedom. Well lets see what happens.

 

PS. I was wondering if you had realised that I deleted you from fb? I'm glad you did though, why dont you just asked me straight up? Oh and fyi no we're not friends anymore, we havent been friends period ever since you walked out on me, dont know why you thought different. My friends care about me and are there for me, that what makes you not a friend.

 

To make it official I will not read anymor in the getting back togehter forum, healing after break up is my mission.

[Confused28645]

Im still sitting here wishing you would get in touch. I won't, as much as I want to, I'm too scared of the rejection. I just want to know that you are feeling as crap as I do over everything. I wish I had never met you. I want to know you are feeling as miserable as I am, maybe then at least it would indicate you felt something for me. We had something so special to begin with that I am gonna find it impossible to find that with anyone again. Im always going to have to settle for second best now.

[Moonchill]

I should just accept the fact that I want you back. I want you back and that feeling will not pass. I should just accept the fact that I can not forget about you. I can not stop longing for you.

Bút what I can do is go further with living.

It's been months since I have seen your face. It's been months since I have checked your facebook.

I'm trying to accept that I can not move on from you like I have moved on from others.

But I can promise you I will enjoy life again. Maybe after a few months, maybe after a few years.

 

I don't know why I am having such a hard time moving on from what we had since we don't know eachother thát well.

We did not date that long.

So one thing's for sure:

There is no logic to feeling.

[Inquirer89]

Here we go again J___... Another round of missing you, another round of wishing you would change your mind, come back to me, realize what you gave up, realize what life is without me. I don't text you but to wish you well and to just say hi, but I don't give you anything else. I don't give you updates on my life, giving you the satisfaction of knowing what my life is like without you. I don't really text you at all, it's like I don't talk to you at all, which is probably for the best. I'm healing, but I don't understand how you could give up somebody who would never play games, any games, mind games or otherwise. Wouldn't try to change you into somebody else, wouldn't stop loving you because you made a mistake. I would accept you for who you are, the good, bad and the ugly, willing to commit to you, which would be the first time in my life I knew I could actually be happy with somebody completely and know that I wouldn't try to change them like I did in the years past because I was young, stupid, naive, and had to have my cake and eat it too. I've grown, I know that in order to keep somebody you can't force them into doing something they don't wish to do. I would have given everything you ever deserved and more, but I guess you don't want that, you gave me up for somebody who just said sorry I don't want you anymore, I just want to be friends, and now you think yourself and idiot. Lied about her being a romantic interest because you weren't ready for something like that with me or even somebody else because you admit that you wanted to try things out with her, see how it goes, and she friendzones you. Maybe that was karm.. You gave me up for somebody you thought you could have something great with and you were wrong. I realize people make mistakes, but if you were to come crawling back I wouldn't be the same as I was when we were an item. I know that it will be very difficult for you to find something you could of had with me, because I know that the traits I have are rare in a mate, but I have them and unless you realize that you had it, but you chose to give it up because you thought the grass was greener on the other side, then I don't know if you ever will realize anything good in your life. I will forgive you should you come back, but don't expect me to let down my guard so easily this time, to trust you so easily this time, and understand I will be cautious with you and take things much slower than the first time because you may decide to chase somebody else and yet again give up something great. I won't live forever, I won't be around forever, if you don't want to be with me then don't ask to hang out with me, to see me, to keep you company when there's nobody else around. I love you but my love only goes so far and I won't be used and treated less than I deserve. So go ahead and feel what you feel, do what you will do, because nobody can stop you from making your own mistake, choices and suffering your own consequences for your own actions. Come out and say what you truly want, say it, let it go so the world knows.

[Melting]

I think of you every day and just hope that when you get your life sorted, our paths with cross again

[myheadvsheart]

I miss kissing you.

[myheadvsheart]

I need to get to sleep. I'm still packing for tomorrow however. When I don't sleep well, historically, I start stress out more. I think it's the case here, because I'm upset remembering when you started pulling away from me and denied it for months, hiding behind your problems, blaming me as insensitive, meanwhile you shut me down. I teared up today for the first time in weeks and even caught myself feeling jealous that you may already be intimate with someone else. I wasn't thinking like this at all - until today. I resent you so much for all of this, because I had not felt excited about someone like that in a long time. It gave me hope and I thought of a future with you, I thought of us loving one another and all of it. I'm going to try to sleep and chalk it up that even I can have setbacks as I move forward. I will move forward and I don't need to be in contact to do so.

[Yaz]

haha i win.

[d24]

i need a hug this morning

[iBroken]

Its so very tempting for me to comment on the pictures you uploaded on facebook, but I cant. Its not the right thing to do - so I will do it here.

 

You cleaned up nicely for the wedding. Your boyfriend is fugly.....I can see why he doesnt smile - his smile is gross!

I wonder how many people saw you with him and sat in wonderment thinking * * * ?

How long before you deal with your daddy issues?

 

You two together are kinda gross.....he looks like a pedo...hes kinda creepy looking. I wonder if your friends have ever told you this? or Suggested it? If they think he is good looking, they definitely have daddy issues too.

 

Oh and dont waste facebook space by uploading pictures that are out of focus? We get it - you are not good at photography.....shoulda bought a DSLR

[soru]

Saturday was supposed to be the day I took you to see your favorite band for the first time...

[soru]

You're possibly having a great time without me. It hurts to know that you can give or take me right now. As I'm sitting here, struggling consistently for my happiness, you're just moving along without a problem. I wish I was like that. But I have an emotional love for you. Even though you can dump our relationship on the side like this, it's hard for me to do the same. You were my ideal girl. I fell in love with just not your phsyical traits, but your personality as well. I fell in love with your mannerisms, your voice, your opinions, everything. I fell in love with...you.

 

Moving on is tough. I haven't heard from you in days. All I asked for was just one evening with you, but you gave me the cold shoulder... I accept our breakup and will let this birthday card be the final word you hear from me this summer until we go back to school in August. Then I will be seeing your face again... but deep down inside I want us back. This all just seems so cruel.

[lucasky]

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Here I genuinely thought you were telling me about your life and all the things you were doing ,and asking me questions because you wanted to fix things - eventually. Whoops I was wrong. You just wanted to chat because you missed me and were lonely. The minute I put myself on the line you back off. I should have kept it friendly only, as I was told to by friends and family, but noooooo I had to sign my email "Even though I'm a nerd, I'm cute, right?" And of course you stopped emailing.

 

I want to be angry at you, but if I get angry, then I'm not growing in the way I need to. I need to learn a) patience b)tolerance. No getting upset at you for being you. That's fine. You're allowed to not want to date me, and you're allowed to not want to reply to that last email.

 

I guess I'm annoyed with myself, I could have not replied to YOU, but instead I went for it. I caved. I'm supposed to be stronger, but I'm not really, am I? Moving on!

[ohsweetlove11]

A,

 

I can't believe you just did this to me. 4 years trumped 6 months, sure, but you called me your soulmate when you didn't even call her that. You said our connection was stronger. We knew how to communicate and we were always honest with each other, and now I feel like everything was a lie.

 

I hate that you missed her so much you dumped me back for her. I hate that you love her. I hate her, and I think I might hate you. You were everything to me.

 

And I love how quickly you seem to be over me. I don't know for sure of course. You might be hurting. But you're relieved we're over. And I hate you... but I love you.

 

No contact sucks. I miss you. I miss you on gmail chat. I miss our band. I miss skyping. It's 11:17 right now, "our time"... and it's breaking me. I miss you.

 

I hope she's worth it. But I do hope you suffer from losing me. A part of me wants to know so badly that you're crying yourself to sleep. But you're probably not. you're probably fine because you'll get her back and everything will be perfect and you'll both be so deluded. Maybe reality will catch up with you that it won't work out, or maybe it's meant to be and you'll be happy with her forever. Either way. I hope you miss me.

 

Goodbye.

[lucasky]

Oh yay! I was just on gmail typing out a long ass email to a friend about things to see in India (shes going there) and you show up on gmail chat. So now I know you read my email. You also loaded up pictures on FB. Wooooo. Yessssss. Must accept its over now. You didn't email me back, didnt say hi on chat. Ouch,

[myheadvsheart]

Well when I don't get enough sleep it affects my emotional state the next day. I had a hard time not thinking about you. I felt unattractive all day today, I felt your rejecton all day today. I closed my eyes and tried hard to keep my tears away when I sat on the plane. A few slipped out, but no one noticed. I slept somewhat and I thought about you. I realized who "recommended" you - the same person that is always inappropriately feeding your vanity. How could you not know that? All these years later? No, it was someone from your recent past, trying to get your attention and undermining me. I worried that your past and your professional life will collide if not already. I was upset you gave that offer attention and a clear "no thanks" but with me, someone you claimed to care about, you were too tired, too underwater and couldn't think clearly. Seriously, it's easier to talk to them than me? I had some time to kill before I checked in to my hotel, so I picked a random hair salon and they could take me. It was a guy's first day and he was telling me that he normally does hair in entertainment movie and tv sets. He was gay but we got a long and he even gave me his card with his home number if I wanted to find the good restaurants in town. No attraction at all, but it was nice to chat someone up and make a friend. Yes, I still thought about you and I'm upset that after almost a month of being clear and focused about my life without you, that I am reliving your alienation of affection again. I have a mixer to go to and I want to compose myself before I say hello. I am glad you've left me alone like I asked, but there's a part of me that is really hating that you respected my wishes because it means that you just want my friendship.

[MrEnigma]

The thought of is like a stain on my mind. I've have done nothing to you. You got what you wanted, your so-called freedom. Freedom from what and for? Nothing has changed, the only difference is were not together. You've have played so many games and hurt me so much, when I was the lowest point. So your going to be mad at me and push me away more? For what?

[lucasky]

Man, I writing to you a lot today, hey?

 

Here's what I wish I could say right now:

 

Hi X,

 

The more time I have to myself, the more I realize how impatient I was being. Even now, I'm impatient. I am trying to learn though.

 

You told me so much about yourself right from the start of our relationship - how it takes you time to make even the smallest of decisions, and how important ones take even longer.

 

What you needed was for me to be myself - but a more secure version of myself than I was ready to be - so I failed, and our relationship has crumbled as such. I'm sorry. I wish I had realized how difficult it is for you to trust someone. I guess I took it for granted because we became so close so quickly. I thought you were just being stubborn or ... I guess I thought I could snap you out of your emotionlessness. You had emotions though, the whole time. Its just that I wasn't seeing them. My needy side kept asking for more.

 

I couldn't have changed who I was because I was on a bad path from the start (insecurity about dating), so I know that this break up was needed, and I've learned from it. I wish I could ask for you back now, but I cannot. Ouch.

 

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