Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[heyyo10]

It's been a week since we havent spoken, and I know for sure its done now. Why do I feel like total crap still? I know that its something I cant change, but I am us. I dont feel like you were completely honest with me through the break up but I am truly beginning to see where we couldnt work. I am afraid that I will get to the point where its too late, but I think that has already happened with you so I need to stop fearing that. I dont plan on talking to you ever again...I cant if I am going to heal. If we do cross paths again, I hope that it is on good terms and we are both in a happy place in our lives.

 

Goodluck in everything.

[ohsweetlove11]

A,

 

Had a dream about you. Woke up upset. I'm still suffering and you're not.

[blackhawks1287]

J,

 

The only difference between you and Carrie Bradshaw, is at least Carrie Bradshaw was honest about being a cheater and she was also more successful, but you can't help you're stupid.

[mistojen]

If I have to hear you complain about how sad and lonely and poor you are ONE MORE TIME, I will effin scream. YOU are the one that broke it off. YOU are the one that chooses not to spend $4 a weekend to take a bus to go see your son who misses us both and really needs you right now. YOU are the one who moved out and into a cheaper place. You left me with bills I can't pay because you asked me to stay home with your kid while you worked to support us; I have almost NO income. I wish I knew how you were p-$$ing away the $1800 a month you make when you pay $260 for rent and utilities combined, and $300 for child support. Please, let me learn your secret, because I'm struggling to pay your half of everything on top of only making $900 a month on unemployment while I'm waiting to start this new job. I'm glad you're gone and the sooner you move your s--t out of my apartment, the better. I'm ready to move on. ...are YOU? Big baby. Grow up, get your crap together, and go be a parent. SOMEONE has to be, since I'm not in the picture anymore.

[Nowill]

If I was everything in the world to you why this

[hausser]

Missing you like hell tonight. Thinking of our dog and the fuss you used to make of him. Thinking it were approaching a year that we moved in this apartment and the effort you made for me to settle in cos you knew I didnt like the idea after coming from my parents house. God this is tougher than I thought. It seems like it's kicking in now. As crazy as it sounds it's as if you don't exist anymore, the difference in your character last going off was so vast it's as if I dont know you.

 

My phone went off about an hour and a half ago, thought it was for a split second some distant friend asking me to bid for him on ebay, jesus last thing I needed.

[mistojen]

Wishing that you weren't out having a great time with all the people that used to be OUR friends, while I'm sitting at home resenting you for it. Pretty glad I texted to tell you I have plans tomorrow and you can't use my car like you were planning, but pretty pissed that your response was that you planned on moving your sh-t out a different weekend anyway. Just so you know, I'm the one who has to clean up after you if the landlord wants to show this apartment before your stupid ass gets here to clean it up yourself...and I'm sure you'll find a reason to complain about me touching your stuff, like you always do when I have to clean up your messes.

[hausser]

Day 10 of NC. Feel good this morning, probably as it's Saturday. After finding out it wasn't you giving me those witheld calls yesterday, I am feeling a lot better today after a great nights sleep. Have a job interview Tuesday, if I get which I should, them my goal is to get out of this flat and into a modest house. Place contains too many memories, plus the neighbours are starting to get on my nerves. You were right to want to move lol. Next step then is a car, I'll put a 60 - 70 hr week in if I have to just to prove to myself (and to you) that I am capable of achieving more. Let's be honest it's one of the reasons you left. Fingers crossed next time I see you I'll be passing you in my car.

 

I still check my phone of course, and expect missed calls and messages to be you until I see the name, I don't think I'll get over that until I meet someone new. The crazy thing is I know your thinking of me, but you've gained strength from me acting like a needy loser when you moved out. We should have just worked around it but such is life.

 

Anyway all the best and thanks for giving me a much needed kick up the ass!

[myheadvsheart]

Got sunglasses for my flight back home - they had a deal on them, buy one get one pair free. I didn't need another thing to carry - so I just took the one. They were big and gaudy - but enough to cover my eyes, if I felt like I might cry - my eyes were covered. I miss you as of late, but I realize that I am missing the promise of you delivering, reciprocating affection. You are respecting my boundaries and not contacting me. I hope it's because you respect my boundaries. Lately I think about you intimately and I hope it's not something you are sharing with someone else, but I suppose it's inevitable and none of my business. You'll laugh a friend has this stuffed animal in the shape of an elephant and I look at it's trunk and think of you. Corny, I know. I wish things were different for us. I deserve better, I tell myself every day. Missing you, but it will get easier, I am resolved every day when I doubt myself. I can't bring myself to say I love you, I miss touching you, but I wanted to feel cherished and loved by you and that alienation is something I want to feel again.

[ohsweetlove11]

A,

 

I blocked you on fb but we have mutual friends... saw you're drinking again. Thought you liked being straight edge with me? Was that just another one of those things you did for me when you didn't really believe it? Your ring is back on your hand too... guess you and K are back together. You're killing me.

[myheadvsheart]

Edited.

 

---snip--- Missing you, but it will get easier, I am resolved every day when I doubt myself. I can't bring myself to say I love you, I miss touching you, but I wanted to feel cherished and loved by you and that alienation is something I DO NOT want to feel again.

 

meh.

[hausser]

Day 11 of NC. Missed you last night, when I was a little drunk. Analysed as usual. Still checking my phone, as usual. The thing is so dead it's not funny. Good old best mate wen out last night, and despite me askin him to come out for a pint the * * * * * just went home. I'm getting sick of this place I haven't even got decent friends here anymore.

 

The crazy thing is I don't actually miss you per se, it's more that I am so very lonely here in this flat on my own. Jobless, moneyless, carless can't really get much worse and I am not THAT depressed lol. I can see how you found it easy to go, though I wish we had had a conversation at least about what we BOTH wern't happy about instead of both being stubborn and then you obviously meeting someone else.

 

I regret now thinking you'd come running back, in reality you just became more and more distant. Can't believe it's been like 6 weeks almost since you gave your key back weirdly it's flown by.

 

Like an idiot I asked my friend what your profile said. He said you didnt go out and you were babysitting. The old maternal instincts have kicked in bigtime with you now evidently, only a matter of time before you're pregnant IMO. I always said that should we split up this would happen.

 

Your friend added me on FB last night. Jodie, the one that apparently fancies me. For about ten seconds I thought it was you telling her to but now I realise it's probably a case of her finding out your with someone else so she got the green light so to speak. Anyway, I spoke to her on chat briefly and hearbreakingly, I saw the messages you were relaying to her to give to me when I ended it about 16 months ago and I had blocked you. Basically when you wanted me so badly you were prepared to go through your friends to contact me. God that was hard to read.

[RadicalDreamer]

I'm trying not to think about you. It was easy for a while there. But, I keep thinking about what happened because I think it holds the key to figuring out how to move on.

 

Everyone tells me what I felt for you was infatuation. Maybe they're right. I always thought of infatuation as sparks, butterflies, sexual tension, "newness." But those things weren't what defined us. It was something that felt safe, and familiar, and comforting and I had to give it up. Not because I wanted to, but because it wasn't right. Because it wasn't fair to my wife, or to you. I hurt my wife, however quickly she seemed to have bounced back, and I'll always regret that as we try to recover from it, but I never deprived her of my time or my energy.

 

I regret that I wasted your time with my lies, deceived both of us into thinking I could ever be someone worthy of you. It wasn't fair to you because you deserved someone who could give you their all. It wasn't fair of me to give you the leftover scraps of my time, tell blatant lies to you and in return, get more affection, more sincerity than I was getting for 8 times that effort in my marriage. I feel as horrible for what I did to you as for what I did to my wife, because I used you as a crutch for my own benefit and someone else's. I used your affection to help me avoid my marriage issues, to keep playing the part of the good husband to avoid facing my real issues. I used you as a balm instead of dealing decisively with the problems I knew were there, in my marriage.

 

I know my remorse could never be enough, could never make things right, no matter how sincere--and believe me, I'm completely sincere. But I wish it actually mattered to you on some level. I wish you could have at least acknowledged my apologies, with anything.

 

Instead, before the end those months ago, you batted it all to the side, essentially told me I had no right to be "the wounded party." At the risk of sounding bitter, I wasn't aware it was a contest. If you wanted to say things, mean things, anything, let it out, I would have gladly listened and taken my lumps. I offered to do so. Instead... silence, which I reciprocated.

 

I could understand if I'd been caught in the lie, if this had come out in any other way than a completely voluntary confession. But I respected you enough to come forward of my own volition. I hope that means something to you, someday, helps you heal and move on. Because as it is, it feels like the only reason I told you the truth, instead of just disappearing from your life without a word, was "to do the right thing." As the months draw on, that by itself feels like a pretty dumb reason to do anything.

[luvsomeone333]

I dreamnt of u last night ... .... again ...my dream felt nice I was sleeping with two people but u were holding my hand on the right side ..I don't know what that means ...but I looked at u properly. And I held ur face n u smiled at me ...It felt nice...I haven't seen ur face in so long...I keep blocking ur images ... n then they come back ...I don't know what that means ....I wonder how u even look at me ...

[StayingStrong]

I sent a text to my ex while I was on a night out. It could have been A LOT worse, as all I sent was " I wouldn't have remembered sending it if I hadn't checked my phone in the morning to see that she had sent "What was wrong? Xx" the next morning. I didn't reply and we haven't had any contact since. No real contact since Thursday evening. I met up with her on Thursday but after a few of these meetings as "friends", I realised that the contact was making me think about her and miss her even more. I decided Thursday night that I wouldn't initiate any contact with her. The only problem is - the other times we've met up is because she called me and asked... what do I do next time she calls? Should I even pick up?

 

 

Any way... I guess if I knew you still loved me and felt the same way, I'd tell you how much I miss you. I wish I could just let it all out, show you how angry you've made me and ask you how you could do this to me... I wouldn't do what she did to me to anyone, let alone the person I'm supposed to love. * * * * ing hell. Just come back to me, apologise and tell me you want me back. Tell me you want to try again and that you'll never do anything like this again... I know that's never going to happen... I miss so much about our relationship. I miss you so * * * * ing much. I can't cope right now, no matter how supportive my friends are being.

[myheadvsheart]

I was doing great. until about 2 minutes ago. try again tomorrow.

[sadandalone]

I want you to get out of my head and leave me alone.....I need to get over you, just haven't figured out how to do it quite yet.....I really and truly loved you with all that I am.....please let me get on with my life and move on if that is what this is.....

[hausser]

Well another day is here....day 12! No doubt another day of looking at my phone and seeing the screen blank. Another day of hearing me supposedly best mate come up with excuses why he can't come out on the weekend, another day of wondering wether to keep my dog or not jesus all fun and games here. Hell another day of wondering wether to live in ths country or go and make a new life for myself.

[wilkerwhip]

I haven't talked to you for a while. I don't know why I did it but I walked around town today to all our favourite spots. Coffee shop had that soup and sandwhich combo you really liked. I sat there for a some time trying to enjoy the nice weather on the patio but it sure wasn't the same without you. Browsed through the Sunday market and then up to our spot in the park. Great view of the mountains today. I really can't put in to words how much our time together on those days meant to me. Its hard for me to imagine ever feeling any better. I try everyday but I miss you so much. I know you have moved on long ago, and you are back together with m. I am sorry I am still stuck and I respect your decision and I truly just want you to be happy. Just overwelmed with emotion today visiting all of those places made me want to reach out to you one last time. I hope you had a nice weekend. I also hope you are not uncomfortable when we see each other at work. I have been trying to avoid you for that purpose.

[myheadvsheart]

I've worked out 5 days this week and focusing on myself and my goals again. Today was tough because I felt so insecure about my looks and your lack of affection before we split. I couldn't handle your dismissing me and shutting me down and apologizing. I'll never understand why it's easier for you to tell that company "thanks but no thanks" and brag to me about being recommended; but it was so hard to be honest with me. It hurts, because for my best attempts to give you an out, you refused to take it and said it was stress. I'd flirt with you and you would not reciprocate it hurt every time you did it. So when you tell me you want to be a friend - I remember that you did not think well enough of me to tell me the truth, you'd rather avoid it and let me humiliate myself making romantic overtures toward you that toward the end you clearly didn't want. So I know when you say you miss me - you are fishing for platonic attention. Yet with platonic topics you shut me down and say you don't feeling talking, so I'm at a loss as to what you mean by missing me. Whatever for? Why you say it - I don't care any more, it's none of my business and I hope soon, that it won't upset me knowing you were okay with mistreating me the way you did - because you feel justified trivializing my life, because you cannot stop over-commiting in yours. This last week was difficult and I'm hoping I stop caring about you soon, why should I care for someone that makes it clear by his actions that he did NOT care about me?

[hausser]

Well after a lot of soul searching last night during which I actually seriously considered contacting you, I followed the advice I gave you so many times and judged you by your actions not your words. You told me last time I saw you that you had cut your cousins hair and deliberatley avoided coming around one week after I told you not to come up. Your cousin lives literally a 10 second drive away. That hurt. The old Laura would have been up. Christ the old Laura would have apologised within the hour and been up the day after. U treated me like * * * * that day I text you after you cut my hair. You said "text me", and when I did you treated me like some eighteen year old kid you were trying to fob off, which I told you. What happened to you? Where did the old Laura go, the old Laura that would never, ever have ignored my text or taken twenty minutes, half an hour to text back with simple answer.

"I'm busy" you said, and so you were. What the * * * * happened? Did you meet someone? I think you did. It would explain a lot. You said you didnt want to get back. I went on a date that night.

 

It feels so so strange not to have texts in the morning or just throughout the day. You used to ring me for anything, you even said it. At the time it got on my nerves but of course now I miss it. It's so weird looking at a blank phone screen constantly. What happened? Where did you get this strength from? How did you wean yourself off it doesnt make sense.

 

You haven't text me ONCE asking how I am. It's always the dog and it's been over two weeks since that. You even had the audacity to text my best friend and ask him how the dog was lol talk about disrespectful lol. I'm laughing at myself here thinking how stupid I've been to even consider that you were interested. You checked out of this a long time ago now, I know that now. When we were on holidays, and you said you were considering asking us to have an open relationship the alarm bells should have rang. They did. The crazy thing is I don't actually miss you as a person all that much, I just miss having someone around. This flat is very lonely. I spend an inordinate amount of time here. Ryan is his usual useless self and I am getting sick and tired of his excuses and lies about why he cant come out drinking. He's single ffs.

 

I know I shouldnt but I have looked at pictures of you on your friends facebook. You look like your having quite the time. Meanwhile Im stuck here with the dog doing absolutley nothing. Well not for much longer.

 

Anyway, im going now don't worry I doubt I'll be in ---------- too much longer then you can really let your hair down.

[hausser]

Well, today has been a revelation for me. I have done a lot of thinking. I am going to try and reach out this week I think, I will send you a picture of our dog and give you assurance he is doing fine. I won't be pushy, dramatic or anything and I will see where it goes from there. If I don't hear anything much back after a few days that will be it.My number will change and I will go second NC.

[Conifer]

well, well, well...

 

So, somebody has done to you what you did to me. And how do you feel now?

[replytome]

Well, today has been a revelation for me. I have done a lot of thinking. I am going to try and reach out this week I think, I will send you a picture of our dog and give you assurance he is doing fine. I won't be pushy, dramatic or anything and I will see where it goes from there. If I don't hear anything much back after a few days that will be it.My number will change and I will go second NC.

 

Come on dude, just go NC straight away...you KNOW it's for the best. In every way possible. I have been NC for 1.5 months and have not had the urge to contact her one single time. Do you know why? Because I have dignity, I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me, and who essentially (even though she doesn't know it) thinks she's better than me. I actually worry that she will contact me, I really don't want her to. It would set me back.

 

Remember, you don't owe her ANYTHING! You owe yourself EVERYTHING.

[hausser]

Come on dude, just go NC straight away...you KNOW it's for the best. In every way possible. I have been NC for 1.5 months and have not had the urge to contact her one single time. Do you know why? Because I have dignity, I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me, and who essentially (even though she doesn't know it) thinks she's better than me. I actually worry that she will contact me, I really don't want her to. It would set me back.

 

Remember, you don't owe her ANYTHING! You owe yourself EVERYTHING.

 

True! You know I just came back from a walk and feel much better, I am going to rejoin the gym straight away today and get back living and not moping around the flat hoping she'll call.