Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Sheelah]

So many ways to feel the sting of rejection. I'm thinking of you with overwhelming pain less now but I still feel the pain. I can barely use “us” anymore in reference to what we had. That makes me sad as I so cautiously used it to begin with and then with such joy. I wish you hadn’t made me believe in “us” then I could have stayed protected. I wish you hadn’t because I don’t know now that you believed in us and that's just more to overcome. I still can’t wish you well and that makes me sad too.

[lilymelrosa]

my mind is constantly shifting and changing. one thing doesn't change: i love you still and i wish things could be good again. but lately i feel so angry at you. i did my mistakes and i owned them and felt guilty for them long enough but have you ever even noticed how much of a coward you were, when you left me via text message after a 2+ year relationship? did you ever notice that maybe i was right feeling insecure considering you were always so secretive? did you ever consider that if you had been completely honest with me from day 1, as i was to you (even with my mistakes), things would never go this way? anytime i see you on the internet i feel disgusted for the things you like now. I still love you but i wish i didn't because i'm just so angry at what you did. how can i love a dishonest coward who broke up with me for my mistakes, but never aknowledged his, and never actually told me the real reasons why he broke up in the first place, using the lame excuses everybody uses? love is a strange thing and i hope i can kill my love for you

[Rebecca92]

I hate but love you... you say you love me, but you need it to end. Why? Did you do something you regret and now feel guilty? We work together, and the past few weekends you said you felt close to me. I hate this, and I hate you. You're playing mind games with me, and I don't like it. I don't know what I did that was so terrible to make you go away. I did everything to make you happy, and helped you when you needed it most. I don't know what to say, besides that I don't understand how you can just throw everything we had away. I feel like you're not telling me the truth, and I deserve to know what it is. It's not fair to me.

[miki1611]

Hello, I hope you are well. Hmmm, not really. Actually, I hope you are sick with the feeling of missing me, just like how I am feeling right now.

 

We decided to meet, you hugged and kissed me but I stood my ground and didn't hug and kiss you back. I am scared, you know. What if you are just doing that to relieve yourself of guilt? I'm tired of being confused of what you want. I just want to move on. But I miss you...

[lostboy14]

i miss you more than anything. I know you think you need to do this, but you are throwing away something so much bigger just for the "now". This isnt who you are. I dont deserve to feel this way. I want everything to be back to normal. I want us to be happy and in love again. Youve convinced yourself that this is for the best, but i think deep down you know this is the wrong decision. If only we knew for sure that after a bit of time, we would end up together. That would make me truly happy. This uncertainty is killing me. Youve said that you are sure that we will end up together, but then werent certain again a couple of days later. what changed? im still the same person and so are you. Please just get past this and call me and tell me youre sorry and want to give us a try again

[ginaloribic]

I don't wish you any badness, or to be unhappy, but the knowledge that you have someone else in your life and you say you are happy with them is killing me.

 

I know I had my faults in our relationship, but so did you & there were reasons behind my faults you are well aware of. It's been a few months now, but I don't feel any differently. You are still the one I want to spend my life with & now that's never going to happen. I feel completely broken.

[lilymelrosa]

Funny how life always finds ways to surprise us. Yesterday I came here to write about how angry I was at what you did. And in that same night, after i searched more and more about healing after a breakup, whilst i was so much more conformed about never talking to you again, I receive your text. I felt so much anxiety. I did not want it. You always seem to find a way to talk to me when I start to feel more in control of my life. How do you do that? Two hours later I replied and we had a nice conversation. I am still controlled and I promised myself I won't be the one starting a conversation with you (after doing all I could to salvage our relationship and being rejected) but it definitely shook me up. Will you talk to me again? does this mean you missed me? Does it mean anything at all? Why do you always do it?

[Frenchie12]

I miss the continuous little electronic pings we would make back and forth with each other during every single day, even when one of us was on the other side of the world. I miss going to sleep at night spooning you until we both got sweaty from each other's body heat and rolled over. I miss your PDAs, even though they made me a little uncomfortable sometimes. I miss the hiking, the biking, the skiing, and all the other outdoor things we did together at home and on every trip together. I miss you pushing me physically further than I would have gone on my own. I miss your amazing dancing skills, and that even though I was a complete clod on the dance floor you would always encourage me to join you and welcome me there, with no judgement. I miss your dedication to excellence in the work you did, and your ability to get things that I would have dithered over done decisively and efficiently.

 

The next one of these I send will be the things I don't miss so much, and I hope I can begin to focus a little more on those and a little less on these as I process what has happened and gradually chip away at the imaginary pedestal I have erected for you.

[Dominique]

Lonely without you but making things happen in your absence. Love u,Lover. So so much.

[lilymelrosa]

Why did you have to text me? Even if it is 3 weeks after the last time we talk, why do you do that? Why don't you stay quiet? Why don't you think that it might be harmful to me? Any message from you disrupts my healing process. I don't know why you think we could be friends. When you had feelings for me and I didn't and we stood as friends, I did it as a chance to you, maybe one day we could be more than friends. Now I have feelings for you and you tell me you don't feel anything for me and don't wanna give me a second chance. If you don't even give me a second chance, how terrible of a person must I have been for you? Why would you wanna be friends with a terrible person? Why would I even want to be friends with the person who broke up via text message out of the blue when I gave you all of me, who made me feel worthless, who made me feel like my world ended, as i was so sad, couldn't eat and do anything at all besides crying and who didn't have the guts to tell me the truth of what is happening? You left me when I was in the worst phase of my life. Why in hell would I want to be friends? Why in hell would you want that? Please, stop. I can't be "just" friends with you. I know, i could block you but it feels too hostile so please, please: stop, don't text me, not in one day, not in a month. Just don't.

[Dominique]

Thinking pleasant thoughts about our Sunday mornings together. I wonder if you have those thoughts today too. 💙 I love you so much.

[Michael19]

I miss you incredibly right now. I'm holding back the urge to text you but I know I shouldn't. I hope you do it first

[ellie00]

I can't sleep tonight. My mind is racing with thoughts that haven't bothered me in a while. This is not getting any easier. I miss you more today than I did back in June. I don't think I will ever move on. I just want you and our life back to normal. I love you forever and always.

[Michael19]

1 whole month has gone by since NC. All we had was social media to go off of to see what we have been up to. That's gone now with you making that decision to remove me . I'm super bummed. You saw everything this weekend and then just like that it's completely gone. It may be for the best but I want ready for it. I didn't expect it. I still have so much I want to say. I still love you. Everything didn't go unnoticed this weekend. Now I have to really accept you want absolutely nothing to do with me . How can that be?

[lilymelrosa]

Today has been one of those crying non-stop days. You texted me the other day, when things were finally looking up for me emotionally. I felt so much more detached from you, happier. But then, you had to come back for a "friendly chat". Go away, don't ever do that again. You must love to disturb every healing process i start. My pet died and my anxiety is over the roof. why cant i be deleted from the planet so i dont have to think of you ever again. people love to say how time will heal it all but i feel like time is late, after 5 months

[lostboy14]

why havent you reached out to me. you said you were scared of losing me. im sitting here like a chump waiting for you to message me. i to myself that ive made the decision to move on, and im trying to, but i still love you and want us to be together again more than anything. You know that if you think about your future, who you want to get married to and have kids with, you see me by your side, the same as i do to you. Stop being silly. WAKE UP

[sunshine34]

I feel like I'm going thru 2 breakups at once and even tho I'm certainly broken in pieces I know that when I rebuild I'll be exactly the person I've been seeking myselfto be... I'm grateful to have learned that there are crucial things I am being hypocritical about and sabotaging myself with.. I can't run around the city partying, drinking my issues away, flirting, acting like a 21 year old party girl and expect a loyal guy.. and then get mad when he's mad at me. Freak out irrationally bc he's not calling me at the exact hour he said he would. I have inner work to do. I'm grateful for that lesson but it doesn't mean I don't feel the pain of rejection that even tho I'm growing you can't stay w me... because I'm too difficult to be worth being with. If you can't take me at my worst, maybe I never meant that much to you in the first place I dk I've adopted such a new mindset about what I wanted this year that I have given up a lot of emotional fundamentals like being there when ur hits the fan... caring about my emotions and state of being. That's probably why I'm in this predicament. I'm chasing people who check my boxes and falling for their outlines not their content. Then when they don't accept me or feel empathy for me I wonder why? I have so much work to do on myself and for that Enlightenment I feel grateful. But I feel pain for freely and idiotically sharing my deepest emotions and weaknesses with an outline and feeling rejection where they can't even confirm it's over. "In his silence , I took my answer"

[ConfusedSushi]

Okay, you say you never had feelings for me, that you thought you had but didn't. But that time when you travelled for 3hours under heavy rain just to bid me goodbye before I leave for holidays, those moments when we reunited again after when you were tender and loving and nice, was it all in my head ? I thought you were finally understanding that you had feelings for me at this time, was it juste in my head ? It kills me that this relationship did mean a lot to me when it didn't for you. I feel angry and sad, and rejected, and deceived. I feel broken hearted and we weren't together that long, so I feel very stupid right now. I want to talk to you but I know that you will never respond to me the way I want.

[InTheNickOfTim]

All of the hugs.

[LoneSumLoser13]

What is going on in your head? We both messed up by not telling each other how we really felt. I was afraid to put myself out there and you were afraid of what reaction I would give. You said you shut down and can never get those feelings back but you want to be friends then in the same breath you want us to not talk. ??? I drop off your stuff at your door, one night, a few weeks later. You get upset that I didn't knock and come in and hang out "if we are going to try to be friends." Like a dummy, I agree to hang out the following night. It was very awkward and seemed very forced.

 

I text you the next morning that it was good seeing you but very awkward, BUT if you would like to hang out again to let me know. You said that I could do the same. I said you dumped me so you would need to make that request you seemed agitated and said that you were telling me that you don't see why I can't ask to hang out "when I am saying you can". OK. Like a bigger dummy I text you on two occasions. I didn't really mean to, you seemed like you wanted to text with me by prolonging the conversation. It seems like after that first week after the "break-up" you were texting me the normal "how's you day?" crap for what I don't know why unless you were just bored.

 

Then we both go dark for four days until you text me "Happy Birthday". Been eight days since then and no contact. Which I would have preferred silence from you on my birthday, because that made the day go south from there. Then you tell a mutual friend that it was too soon since the "break-up" for us to be hanging out. What the @#$%? You tell the mutual friend that I am taking it hard. No @#$%, I was dumped after telling you that I Love You. So it has been a bit rough.

 

Tomorrow will be a full month since the "break-up". Do you think about any of this at all? Do you care? I do, but at this point I don't know why I get upset. Do I miss you? or just the idea of you or who I thought you were? Or is it that after seven years of you being in my life I just miss having someone around? The answer is yes to all. I do love you or at least the person you were. I know its not coming back. Ever. But I still beat myself up on a regular basis on what I should have done. I should have told you three years ago that I loved you. I should have done better at making you at least feel that since I was too much of a wuss to say it. I take my blame for this. But you have some blame yourself. I leave it all up to you. I am working on moving on and it sucks cause I still have this love for you while not liking what you are now.

 

Thank whoever started this post. I needed this. I am sure I will be back.

[Brodey]

I'm sick of not being over you. Sick of the feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sure we still talk. Sure you say you wanna be my friend. Say everything to make me feel better and to alleviate your guilt. Then when we see each other in public you can't even wave back or say hi. Cut the act. I don't need a fake friendship. I just wanted you to care as much as you've been telling me you did.

[Honeycomb8]

Even though things ultimately went down the way it has, I really will miss you. I'm glad we got to spend some time together this week and I'm happy you're happy. Have a good time over there.

Set the UK business world on fire, you deserve it.

[Frenchie12]

You're actually not a "fine person", and I don't think I really can forgive you, or love you always - despite what I said when I finally asked you to leave and you so readily went. You played me so hard. Shame on me for, first, overlooking the obvious signs because it was truly inconceivable to me that you were capable of such treachery and, later, allowing you to continue to play me for months while you nailed down your next "sure thing." Your shiny new toy, the old, corrupt predatory priest, who even today I noticed you are cheating on by shopping yourself around on the hookup apps for random sex with other guys.

 

In a way, it's perfect for you. You are a closet case, he is a closet case. You are both ashamed to show people who you really are, and terrified of the truth being revealed to your colleagues, families and friends. He operates in another city, at a safe distance for both of you. He can continue his predatory behavior with altar boys and street kids needing his "guidance". You are free when here to roam unfettered the electronic back alleys of the internet, all to satisfy your apparently insatiable need for external validation in the form of random sexual gratification and baubles from other emotionally stunted men. You will no doubt break his heart just like you broke mine, and continue the cycle until you yourself are old. It's just the kind of person you are.

 

Typing this out is hard, because as I do it makes me realize how truly bizarre and toxic this whole relationship really was. Please be gone from my waking thoughts, I deserve so much better.

 

And thanks, ENA, for giving me a place to put this other than in my outbox!

[Dominique]

I don't even know what to say about what I experienced today but i truly wish I could talk to you tonight.

[Mandala]

I love you, I truly do, but it hurts too much. Yesterday you told me that you love me and miss me, but I do not believe it anymore. I want to, but I can't.

You lured me into your heart only to suddenly push me away from it without an explanation.

That's the hardest part to accept. If I could only have some closure...

But you are a coward, a selfish, weak coward. You promised you were not going to hurt me, you knew what I was already going through, but your own self came first and you threw me away in a split second, as I was nothing. As I never existed. I was trying to put together the crumbles of my heart from the past and you shattered it again. I can't forgive you for that...

I need to learn how to love myself again. I'm broken, but I'm alive.