No one wants a black woman

[In the Dark]

He just wrote back " You always take things personal. Your so fiery and I love it! I think you are a beautiful black women that I would be very content with. Happiness is in your head, heart, and not your (other head). Thats pleasure. We confuse them at times. Have a great day and I love you just the way you are"

 

 

 

Waiting to hear what you reply.

[jahur]

 

Waiting to hear what you reply.

 

 

yeah its killing me already!!!!!

[Cognitive_Canine]

yeah its killing me already!!!!!

 

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion.....

 

 

 

 

Qut, you are an absolutely lovely person and you need to give yourself a pat on the back from time to time.

 

You are an absolutely beautiful woman and you shouldn't let anyone bring you down.

 

Seriously, I recommend that you grow yourself some mental claws and be more dismissive of people. Put people in their place.

 

I hope you feel better soon and get this whole thing sorted out.

[Qut81]

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion.....

 

 

 

 

LOL! Its weird. I can be very direct and blunt but with some ppl who are close to me...I cant be that way.

 

My reply was...."love you too.

[sweetdslollipop]

So Qut, did you cut him off for good for insulting you like that?

[Qut81]

So Qut, did you cut him off for good for insulting you like that?

 

I just realized what your avatar said....how appropriate for this thread. LOL

 

No....we only had two arguements in the 6 yrs we've known each other. I dont think this warrants losing him. Hes been there for me when no one else has....maybe I can change his view?

[jahur]

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion.....

 

 

 

 

...........

[veneratio]

I just realized what your avatar said....how appropriate for this thread. LOL

 

No....we only had two arguements in the 6 yrs we've known each other. I dont think this warrants losing him. Hes been there for me when no one else has....maybe I can change his view?

 

Not to be mean, but I doubt that. Guys who think that way usually have their own set of insecurities about the issue.

[hers]

You shouldn't try to change anyone's view. How would you feel if he tried to change yours b/c he thought his was right? You wouldn't like it. The best you can do is work on accepting others for the way they are, whether you like what they believe or not.

 

You seem to have very controlling and toxic friends. Not just this guy but other friends you've talked about before. I have a hunch that they treat you this way b/c you embrace any treatment from them at all b/c attention = love to you.

 

I have a friend who is a major doormat. People can say whatever they want to her, be as mean as possible, and basically treat her like crap and she takes it and brushes it away b/c they're her friends. People realize she's a doormat and they treat her as such. They look at her and think "well she's never stood up to me so I can always tell her what I think". To her, they're very honest but to watch her go through that, it's very painful b/c you know they're doing it b/c they can.

 

We show others how to treat us. You're a doormat to your friends, quite clearly through your response to him and the fact that you apologized instead of him. You want to keep him as a friend--that's your reasoning for apologizing. But what happens next time? What if he insults you to the core and you say "well he's my friend" and you brush it off? That does nothing for your self esteem.

 

You're showing your friends how they can treat you and they're biting completely. Demand you be treated better (don't say "I demand to be treated better!" But show them how to treat you by treating yourself better) and you will have better self esteem and a sense of self worth.

[KG]

Hers^^^ is right. Acceptance.

[Jpo]

I didn't read all the replies in the thread, but Qut81 you are very pretty. I'm a white male and I would want to approach you. I will admit that I am more afraid to approach women outside of my race, because for some reason I think the chance of me getting rejected is higher. You don't really see a lot of black women with white guys, more vice versa, so guess I unconsciously make a blanket assumption that in general they aren't interested. (Even though I have dated a black girl.

[Qut81]

Considering my past, I actually have great friends now. I always say...I am direct when I need to be. Like when my friend would disappear for months and then come back like nothing happened and I told her to call me when she can be a better friend. She did a 360.

 

I stand up for myself. For me, its just hard to address issues when ppl have been good to me in the past.

[grymoire]

I can perfectly understand your concerns because I also face the same situation. As much as we may want to think that people will like us for who we are as a person the real world does not operate that way. Especially when it comes to Dating. We need to be practical and know that color of skin will matter. We are not living in an idealistic world where everything is perfect and wonderful. Even in ENA it has been well established that people can have preferences. So if someone says "I will not date black women" it is just that person's personal preference. What you need to do is to continue to look for men that are attracted to you as you are. You are very good looking and I am sure that some guy will fall for you.

[strategos]

The OP is gorgeous. But since I'm taken, I wouldn't approach her

 

I did not read the replies. As for the atheists bear with me here...

 

God created all people in the same way. So by default everyone on this earth is the same. They may have some different practices (that may or may not be approved of), but that doesn't change that fact. Just because some people believe that some of them are "better" doesn't change that fact either.

 

I have to admit when I was younger I did not see myself dating black women (more specifically, African-American and West Indian women). I was greeted with hostility from black children in school (my being black didn't help), since I did not fit in well. But over time God was nice enough to force me to open my horizons. I learned that people are the same, they just have a different way of expressing themselves.

 

As for someone I am looking for, it does not matter where she comes from what her race is, etc. I'd date black women, but no more/less so than I would date people of any race. All that matters is that she is compatible. FTR, my SO is of mixed heritage. What attracted me was her personality, her attributes were a plus (a huge plus because she's beautiful) They were not the basis my my seeing her.

 

The point of my long story is that it's what YOU think that matters, not anyone else. Yes there are racists/racialists out there, but your insecurities will not change that. Race is only a small part of a part of a person (hair, skin, eyes etc) - physical attributes. It is laughable to base an entire personality of someone or a group of people on how much melanin he/she/they has/have. It's no more shallow than to base whom you date (or intelligence) on chest size. It even more ridiculous to base happiness on a particular attribute.

 

That's my two cents.. Take it for what its worth

[blackgnat]

Your friend doesn't want to lose you in ANY capacity because he's crazy about you. I think it's good that you kept him as a friend and you should continue to do so, because he's going to support you...but it doesn't mean that he isn't going to get his feelings hurt.

 

Unrequited love is so painful-he said some beautiful things about you, and he's known you through thick and thin (by your own admission) so take those things and nurture yourself in the knowledge that at least one person in the world sees your inner as well as your outer beauty.

[bertdru]

You are so gorgeous!! I was just thinking - if women like you were having such self esteem issues, what about a person like me? I have self esteem issues too but at least I am actually ugly. At least I am justified.

 

No offence but I do think you need to have a better circle of friends who are more open minded and tactful. Judging by some of the comments from guys you know, I think you have contact with some real jerks.

[icarus27]

Qut,

 

A thread of mine might be of interest to you. Check it out, I'd be interested to hear your opinion

 

 

 

As for your pictures, ever notice you have more than a passing resemblance to the pop star Rihanna? Who is a beautiful, beautiful woman!

 

[Kantriakhor]

I'm going to probably be unpopular but you're not my type, but you're not unattractive.

 

Your friend speaks only for himself, being black or any other race has little to do with being attractive in and of itself.

[jahur]

I'm going to probably be unpopular but you're not my type, but you're not unattractive.

 

Your friend speaks only for himself, being black or any other race has little to do with being attractive in and of itself.

 

nice piece of honesty there!

[grymoire]

nice piece of honesty there!

 

yea... there is nothing you can do if the other person feels you are not his/her type...

 

i once fell for a girl but she didn't feel the same way........ i felt rejected and started analyzing... i was analyzing, analyzing, and did more analyzing.... was it the way i look? was it because i do not have confidence? was it because i am not funny? was it because i am too nice? was it because i am not this/that????????

 

after 4 yrs i learnt the truth - she only dates white men. yep there you go.... she is white and i am not. no amount of confidence or personality or charm can work when she sees me as not her type. throughout these 4 yrs she dated many guys, was cheated on, got heart-broken, was lied to, ... etc.. all those guys were white. she is still single. will she change her mind and date other people? no. she will not. she will still date only white men. i have learnt to accept this and move on with my life.

 

some people are just the way they are... we need to sense it sooner and move on as quickly as possible.

[hers]

Gry, I'm very glad to be reading these posts of yours! You've come a long way!!

[grymoire]

Gry, I'm very glad to be reading these posts of yours! You've come a long way!!

 

aww, thanks Hers! you have played a major role in this

[darknoon]

why dont you hang out somewhere else where their black men everywhere at least 90% .. not were black n white hang out .... white are a bit non playful wit the minds games like black girl will always be a game playin masterminds n drama n fighting all time .... your very pretty n i'm black male

[Kantriakhor]

why dont you hang out somewhere else where their black men everywhere at least 90% .. not were black n white hang out .... white are a bit non playful wit the minds games like black girl will always be a game playin masterminds n drama n fighting all time .... your very pretty n i'm black male

 

I've seen every race adept at playing games, same with gender.

[lady00]

As for what is mentioned in the original post about black women--I have heard these stereotypes many times. I myself am black and have heard repeatedly from some black men that black women are "difficult" or have some sort of "attitude." I would guess that there are many men who believe this, if what I have heard from some of my acquaintances is at all representative (which is tough to say...they may be in the minority).

 

However, I have also dated several black men who do not think this way at all.

 

My conclusion is that it's a mixed bag and I wouldn't date the ones who think I am difficult or have an attitude just because of the color of my skin--and they wouldn't ask me out anyway--so it works out OK lol.