THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[im_the_undead]

i realllllly want to accept the challenge!!!!!!!!!!!

but i'd fail.

if only i had a shock collar on me to assure i followed the rules.......

 

[anu1560]

Don't know what day it is, but I miss you. I miss you so much. Please make me free. I beg you. Make me free of you. I want to be free of you. Please god help me me get myself free.

[Capthxc]

Day 16

Started my medication last night. Dunno if it was the meds or what but i woke up feeling so much more depressed than usual. However that feeling faded after about an hour or so, and i went out to take care of some business and i have been fine ever since. Went out to the bar with a few friends to eat and drink, but when i got home it was back to my usual behavior of checking her friends on facebook to see if i could see her talking about someone else being in her life, or checking out how shes been doing, since i removed her from FB. Still checking her status on AIM to see if shes home from work or not. Debated on whether or not i should break NC yet, and i thought about how i should nonchantly go about it. Maybe ask her how she has been doing over the past month, or asking her how her training at work has been going. But i stopped myself. I keep telling myself if she wants to come back, if she wants to talk to me, then she will do it on her own accord. If she doesnt than she obviously didnt feel the same way i did about the relationship, and lied to me when she said how beautiful it was. Which in turn, makes me realize that its not worth wasting my time and emotions on something like that. This week is going to be extra rough. I started my 2 week vacation, and this was supposed to be the time of the month that i was going out to visit her.

[miss bear]

Day 4

 

It was a pretty bad day. decided that I did not want to hear anything about him from my friends, told a few of them.

Joy felt bad for telling me about him yesterday. I ended up breaking that rule a bit by asking Paul about Emma....he wasn't sure if they are dating or not. he saw her at David's house last week for band and when he showed up David and her went outside to talk for awhile.

They could have been talking about anything, could have been about me (that was the day I last talked to him and it was a rough conversation full of a lot of emotions).

Anyhow made myself sick in the bathroom.

 

I hate that I do that sometimes... I haven't done that in years and now it's all I want to do. Make myself sick.

 

Went to a birthday party and saw my friend Chris he made me smile and laugh, made me feel 90% better than I was feeling. He was in an 8 year relationship and it has been over for 8 months now. He is still a bit bitter and he has reason to be when he keeps finding out things his ex did during their relationship.

I gave him a brief summary of what happened with David and I. Chris's response was "what?, I hate him and I hate him more because I thought he was a good guy"

 

I feel broken. Will I ever trust anyone again? Will I ever feel loved again?

I hate him right now.

I want to stop thinking about him and how he is and what he is doing.

I know I need to focus on me, and healing.

 

How,how,how,how, how do I do it?

[expert01]

day 1

 

had to start over again as im rubbish at this..it doesnt help when they say they miss you and might want you back ..anyway day 1 come on!!!

[Capthxc]

Day 17

Woke up a lot earlier than usual again with the same depressed feeling i had yesterday. These meds are making me really tired, spent most of the day napping on and off. I wrote up an e-mail to her today, but i didnt send it. It's mainly about how i wanted to thank her for everything she has done for me. I never really got the chance to say thank you. I think she's a little angry about that since it went straight from BU to desperation to empty apologies. Regardless, i have it saved as a draft in my inbox, and im not going to send it for at least another week until i hit that 4 week mark. Part of me is hoping her emotions have settled a little bit, and another part of me wants to wait for my own emotions to settle a little more, so i can revise it if need be. Its nothing deep or emotional, just a short thank you letter, and it has my contact info on it because im pretty sure she got rid of it right after the break up.

 

A lot of people, and even people on this forum have told me not to send anything and just stick to NC and wait until she allows me back into her life, but my gut, my heart, and my instincts keep telling me to send it. Perhaps my feelings will change by next monday, but i really doubt it. Going to work up the strength through this tired daze ive been in to work out again, but i dont think ill be successful, chances are ill just sleep until the TV is free and watch some of my shows tonight.

[perio]

Day 12

 

Keeping it together and feeling better.

[expert01]

Day 2

 

Let's see how long I last this time

[miss bear]

Day 5.

 

I wish I could actually sleep one entire night without waking up every few hours because I dreamed about you, or not being able to fall asleep because I keep wishing I could just go to your house and curl up next to you. I miss you sleeping next to me.

 

I think I have a date tomorrow or Friday. I can't believe Greg still is into me. I can't believe he went on a month vacation and as soon as he got home he contacted me.

Maybe for once in 8 years our timing might be right. I am not sure. One thing I know for sure is Greg will be around for me as a friend if that is all I can do right now.

 

I am trying not to feel guilty about this, why should I ?

You broke up with me.

You have already started dating,

you may be seeing Emma for all I know.

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T IN LOVE WITH ME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

 

I deserve better than you, I deserve someone who won't cut and run when things aren't going their way.

I deserve someone who loves me enough to want to work issues out.

The only issue we had was that you never could tell me what you wanted, you wanted me to read your mind.

 

You decided in less than a week that you weren't in love anymore. YOU ARE AN A**HOLE!!!!!

 

I deserve better. You were never really the person you pretended to be. You are so screwed up.

 

I am the better person.

I deserve love, I deserve respect, I deserve honesty, I deserve better than you.

When Juniper left you so many people felt bad for you, I felt bad for you... now I know why she had to leave.

 

I hope you hear about Greg, I hope it hurts you to know that he might be kissing me,he will make me smile and laugh, I hope you cry.

I hope I have fun and I hope that it makes me forget about you even if it's only for a little while.

 

I deserve

[zip11]

Day 3

 

i thought i was NC for along time (over 30 days), but i broke it almost a month ago by trying to check up on her... i did it again a couple weeks ago and was doing well w/ the NC... monday, i slipped up. was going through my history and saw that her new guys' page is still on there. stupid me clicked on it... his page was blocked before, but i guess he made it public again (at least his profile)... lo-and-behold there's a pic of her w/ him as his profile pic... found this thread and figured i'd "zero" my NC counter and again, this time playing by the rules...

 

don't know why i never clicked on this thread before... still waking up 'uber early every morning and waking at odd hours in the middle of the night and find myself browsing this forum...

[SA2000]

After 8 days I broke NC. She had been trying to contact me for around a week. The last time we spoke she told me that she was going to date the other guy seriously. I know that she is having a lot of doubts about her decision and felt bad that I was ignoring her. She texted and said "This is the 6th and final time I try to contact you. If you ever want to talk to me again you know where to find me". I responded and said "Ok".

 

I feel terrible now. I hate ignoring her and miss her so much. But I know that talking to her will not solve anything. It will only prolong my healing. She isn't coming back.

[perio]

Day 13

 

It feels good to be coming up on the 2 week mark and having not contacted her in any way! I have "flipped" the switch and my feelings are following. I guess I should say my emotions are softening. I still love her and hope she reaches out to me but I am not counting on it.

[expert01]

Day 3

 

Miss her love her loads but this has to be done if I ever want to heal

[GotMyLifeBack]

NC Day 4. My first post on this thread. My ex actually instituted NC when I told her I supported her choices, but that I wanted her to be with me. This blew up her plan to friendzone me, so she pushed me away. I said I'd respect her decision, and although I'm sad, I'm better off than I was. NC is a vacation from her confusing behaviors. I'm doing alright.

[perio]

Day 14

 

Time is flying. I believe she really does love me but may be a timing issue more than anything. In any case, I have to give her the space she needs. This will help me get over her (its working) but sadly, will likely allow her feelings to pass as well. I won't check to see how her sister is doing until the 6 week mark. I'm conflicted about this because I really am concerned but my contact might well me viewed as selfish motivated to get her back.

[Starrgrl]

Day 71 When am i going to be ok?

[expert01]

Day 4

 

Yesterday was easy please. Let the rest be easy

[Seif]

Signing up for Day #1

 

Permission to slap me if I fail is granted.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 5.

 

This sucks. I am dying inside.

[Yostina]

Day 3

 

Back to NC... *sighs*

[Bobbadoo]

Day 1. This is like 2nd restart. Gonna stick with it from here on end.

[perio]

Day 15

 

WOW. Time is flying! I think about her too much but not as much as last week. The emotions are softer also. I do still love her and miss her geatly.

[The_Seeker]

Almost 3 months. I can't keep track of the days.

[msDazed_N_Confused]

*Sighs* I was in the NC Challenge 3,5 yrs ago when my ex broke up with me after 7 yrs....and now i am back.

Relationship...too short, can't even call it that...put my feelings on table and he rejected me, well actually he ignored me ever since. And the rejection hurts, i cried my eyes out for days. Texted way too much again and realized....i have done this before.

And this time it will not take me 2 years to get over him, i won't allow it.

But i need you guys...sooooo much, cause i want to text him 10.000 times a day, begging him to stop ignoring me.

Deleted his number to avoid drunk dialling, desperate dialling and accidental dialling....deleted him from IM cause i don't want to see how he logs on and ignores me even more.

This morning was the last text....NC starts now!!!

[collegegirl21]

Today was my last text!!! NC starts Right this moment!!! i will keep you guys up to date! He didn't answer my call since Friday evening and he's done this many times for no reason! Am tired of being walked all over! i know he's gonna contact me for a fact but its time to give him a taste of his own medicine!