THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[shelbubbly]

day 19

 

lasted nearly 3 weeks but i got to reply to his email about getting his stuff i just want it out now then im back at day 1 when i can reply to it that is

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 2

 

Feeling ok, but also feeling kind of sick today so I'm staying home. Which sucks because I'd rather be doing something to get my mind off him. Oh well. Today I'm feeling over it, but tomorrow? Who knows, I just might turn into a crying mess again. Ugghhhh.

[TSandullo]

Phoa! 700pages of pain to healing! Wishing u all happiness and goodness in life. S

[Yostina]

Day 21

 

I think I was good at holding on to NC, but I'm not sure what will happen next when college starts this coming Sunday. I'm afraid all my efforts go waste. I hope not...

[J-L-T]

Day almost 7.

 

Missing him a lot tonight.

[michellefourni]

Day 3

 

I am in Texas today and tomorrow I will see my brother. I only cried four times on the plane ride. I've been texting this boy I used to like for the last three days. I miss him a lot but I know I will get over it. I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I'll still probably feel like * * * * tomorrow.

[oceanblue535]

I'm glad it happened. It's starting to make sense now. I feel like I'm going to be a better partner to this one because of some of the things we went through.

[MrSpeed]

Day 20

 

Day 19 was great. Went out with a pal and painted London red! Feeling better but still do think about her, although not as much.

[Capthxc]

Day 1

Ive promised myself i wont tear myself apart over this anymore. Its been one week since the break up, and every other day i sent her messages begging her to talk to me again, to keep that connection open like she wanted me to. But the best course of action now is to just avoid thinking about her as much as i can. I still sit here and stare at my screen, hoping to see some sort of message pop up out of no where. I sit here and watch her idle away, wondering if shes working a 12 hour shift tonight, and how shes getting by without my constant texts that she claimed to love so much, because they helped ease her through the night. I wonder if she went out with some friends and got inebriated, and was unable to make it home. I wonder if shes okay. The only thing left for me to do now is to give it at least a month before i even consider making contact, because i know if i send her another message before then, my last glimmer of hope will die out, and there will be no second chance.

[Morning]

Day 8

Started to heal

[Camo]

Day 180ish

 

Feeling quite ok.

I still have some kind of feeling, which I do not have for ex of decade ago.

There was NO day that I did not think of my ex though.

[Akaladas]

Day 3

 

On my 3rd day, very hard to stop thinking, but I'll live. Saw her today at uni, she looked unhappy and was looking away, I felt so bad after that. Wonder if she miss me too...

 

 

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 3

 

Feeling good

[Yostina]

Day 22

 

Today I saw him online after a period of time, but I've blocked him from day 1 of NC. I felt bad and my heart was beating so fast. His nickname on msn got on my nerves I don't know but it was stupid and fun. I felt like he is okay and I'm here hurting on my own. *sigh*

I hate it.

[Capthxc]

Day 2

Today has been a little rough. I had a pretty disturbing dream last night that involved me staying at her house down south while she was with another guy, and she was very spiteful towards me. Its odd because she wasnt acting the way she normally does in my dream, shes not a mean person like that. I've been having some ups and downs. I really want to say something to her, i really want to ask all these questions that are clouding my thoughts, but i know it will make me look desperate and push her away even more then i already have. Shes been idle since early this morning, and i know shes not working. It makes me wonder if shes out with some one else, out with friends, or just sleeping. I cant fight the urge to think that she just doesnt care about me any more, doesnt care about what ive been doing and how ive been dealing with this. The words she said to me, about how she doesnt feel the same and how she wasnt happy, echo through my head every day.

 

Ugh, this is more painful than i thought it was going to be.

[michellefourni]

Day 4

 

I saw my brother for the first time in two months. I was very excited but every so often I kept thinking about my ex. I miss him a lot and he hurt me very badly many times. I'm trying very hard to fight the urge to unblock him and check his facebook. I know it will just upset me but I want to know how he's doing. I want to know if he's happier without me or if he's having doubts. Either way it will make it hurt more but the curiosity is killing me.

I don't understand why he deserves to walk away from this feeling okay after how he's made me feel so many times. I know that if I had just not taken him back this last time, I would be feeling better by now. If I had not taken him back the time before that, I would have been better earlier. Right now I could be seeing someone who actually cares about me and how I feel, but I am not because I keep taking him back and I can't move on. I know that it is my fault because I could and DO try to say no to him. It's just that after time passes and I begin to get over it and forgive him, I forget how much he made me hurt before. Sometimes I feel like, "Well, it's been a while and we were young. Maybe he's matured by now and can handle a serious relationship... and maybe I was too sensitive and it wasn't really that bad to begin with." Then, time passes and I realize I was wrong. AGAIN. I think that if the next time he comes back to me, if I just say no and keep it that way.. and I am 100% sure in my mind that I KNOW what he's all about, then I will be able to be over it forever. Although I miss him so much, if he came back to me right now, I would probably accept him. I know that's not good because our whole relationship is just not right, but I want it to be so badly. I don't understand why he could never be good to me and just take care of me and my heart.

[howinvoluntary]

I must say that my pain has really been consistently low over the past week and a half. That being said, I have not been as busy as I should be, and I have been thinking about her too much. If I go fifteen minutes without thinking of her it is a success. I think a half hour is my record, and I haven't gone that span of time in weeks.

 

My lows, while not as sharp, are equally as consuming as before. I have to get busy, as a relapse is probably right around the corner. I am enjoying my own company, and outside of wanting to get back together, I am happy being single.

 

It will be over a hundred days of this until we talk next after the ex's travels. So very long until I get some kind of finalish closure... unless I happen to find it myself. I wonder how much I'll be thinking of her at the end of it.

 

Don't feel bad Camo, no matter what happens to me between now and then, I will definitely not be able to go an entire day.

[MrSpeed]

Day 21

 

Bumped into her elder sister yesterday, she asked me how I was doing and I told her I was well. I asked how my ex was and she said, she's just trying to get on with things. I'm feeling OK, I definitely don't think about her as much. Got a busy weekend as well.

[Morning]

Day 9

Another dream about him......rrrrrrr

[Lastchance4luv]

Day 4

 

Been a month since the break up, and today I still feel good. Planning my birthday bash with friends (all of our birthdays are around the same time). Joining a new gym, and deciding on a tattoo. yayy!

[Yostina]

Day 23

 

I'm okay, but tomorrow college starts and we'll probably see each other there. I'll try to keep nonchalant, upbeat, and simply smile to him like nothing happened. I pray I can keep my strength up. I hope everything's going to be alright...

[michellefourni]

Day 5

 

Okay. Someone needs to take my computer and my phone and throw them both in the ocean or something. I am having an extremely hard time fighting the urge to contact him, or at the very least check his facebook. I dont know what to do right now. I miss him so much. I want to tell him about my vacation and tell him I miss him and I want to see him first thing when I get home. This hurts so bad.

[Capthxc]

Day 3

Things have gone from bad to worse. Was feeling pretty good about everything until later this afternoon when i found out my grandmother had passed away. Feels like everything that could have possibly gone wrong this past week or so has gone wrong. Got in touch with an old friend of mine, we were supposed to hang out when i got off work but now he's not answering his phone, so i can only hope he didnt get the calls. I want to break the NC right now more than ever, i want her to comfort me through these tough times, but i have a feeling i will still get the cold shoulder. People are telling me i need to get out of the house, but yet they arent giving me the proper support to do so, especially when people arent answering their phones.

 

Sigh, this upcoming week is going to be the absolute worst. Not only did i lose 2 people this week whom i love dearly, but i cant even get the support i need from the one person i feel like i need it from.

[perio]

Day Two

 

Hello everyone

I am so thankful that I have found this site. I won’t bore you with all of the details, but my girlfriend of 5 months broke up with me 11 days ago. She needed to “take a step back”. Just 2 days before breaking up with me, she told me that she loved me for the first time. I told her that I loved her just one week earlier. Her sister was diagnosed with a return of cancer and given only 3 years if all goes well with treatment. I understand that she has this tremendous stress but I had hoped that she could turn to me for support. I initially said ok with the breakup and did not resist. After a couple of days of no contact, I suggested we meet for lunch. She said she would love to meet with me. We had a very nice meeting. We both acknowledged that we love each other. She did say we may be too different and that she needed to think about things. I suggested that we pause but not date others. We have exchanged texts a few times which were light and nice. I saw this as a time in which I could give her space to sort out her feelings and to process her sister’s condition. I have not pestered her. I told her we should not try this if we thought our relationship had no value and wasn’t worth exploring further. She said it was. I have been very upset lately and very sad. I am normally a strong and happy person. It’s just that this relationship has really moved me like no other. She is very important to me and I don’t want to mess things up.

Although we have said we will be keeping in contact, after reading this thread, I believe I will only respond to her texts with compassion and not press the relationship. I would call it a modified NC for me. I won’t call her or contact her. I hope you don’t mind if I follow this thread and let you guys know if there are any developments.

I am very impressed with the sensitivity and support I have seen on this sight.

Thank you

[perio]

It is amazing that I got this email just an hour ago. My heart is truly broken. I just dont understand. I just dont know what to do. I will not plead or bother her. I would like to say goodby at least over the phone. I realize that she sure sounds certain of her decision. I wont fight it. I just dont understand!

 

 

 

 

"Hey Jeff,

 

How are you doing? I hope your week went well. Sorry I have not been in touch. Besides our busy nights, I have been doing some thinking.

 

Well, I am writing to you instead of calling because I know when I hear your voice it will be nearly impossible to say what I need to. I have been thinking about you all week. I have went back and forth on the decision I need to make.

 

Again, this is the hardest decision I have had to make in a long time. You are very important to me and I care deeply for you. And those are not just words.

 

You are beautiful Jeff! Truly one of a kind.

 

I have grown so much in the five months we have been dating. You have taught me so much about life. How to communicate better, how to love better, how to enjoy each and every moment in life, how to be more confident in myself, that it is ok to think of myself as well as others, how to be more accepting of others and believe it or not, to try to be less critical of others. And because of this, I can say to you, I have to let you go, Jeff. I will leave the future open for whatever it brings, but today I have to say good-bye.

 

I will not drag this on. I do wish you the very best, Toni"