THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Starrgrl]

All those times you used to hurt me. They're gonna burn in my mind forever.

But eventually, eventually... The pain will ebb away.

No longer am I your option.

I am just too damn amazing to put up with that haha.

 

 

Someday soon, I'll take front place and center in a somebody else's heart and I'll think about everything that has happened... With you, with us and what might have been if you'd only cherished me the way you should've... And I'll smile.

And smile...

 

 

And I'll smile some more.

[Ariel85]

Two weeks with NC. Bleh.

 

I wish you would contact me. I ask for that every day. I know in my heart that you are missing me as much as I am you. There is no way we felt the same about each other while together, and you would move on in two weeks. I think you're struggling just as I am.

 

The big question, however, is will you act on your desires? Are you thinking I'm dating someone else already? I regret telling you before we went NC that I was being "pursued" by someone. I hope you're not NOT contacting me for fear of being rejected.

 

I don't know anymore. My head and heart and swirling and twirling in different directions at the speed of light.

 

I just want to be back with you.

[perio]

Day 30

Letting go of the emotions but holding on to love.

Feeling good.

[BlackBirdy]

Day 1

 

I had a dream about him last night, more vivid than the other two I've had. I could actually smell his cologne and his skin. It's freaky.

 

I have never dreamt so much about an ex before. It's upsetting.

[miss bear]

Day 20:

 

Woke up thinking about him today. I hate when I do that.

I wonder if he noticed I did not contact him for his birthday. My birthday is in 10 days, I wonder if he will contact me.

 

I hung out with my neighbors this morning had breakfast and watched football. When I got to my place I took a nap and had a dream that he came to my house and told me he missed me and he made a mistake, he never stopped loving me, I woke up immediately and started to ponder this scenario. I know this isn't going to happen............. but what if?

 

So I had an imaginary conversation with him, I really tried to imagine he was here with me and saying all those words, the words I wish he would have said a week after he broke up with me,

 

I looked him right in his imaginary eyes and I told him............I love you. I never stopped loving you, but the the way you have behaved during our break up broke my heart, you treated me with none of the respect I deserved, you cast me aside and gave me nothing, you broke up with me on the phone, did not speak to me for a week, gave my things to a friend without even letting me know, and then when you finally did see me in person you would not even look at me. You never really told me how you felt or even let me know that our relationship meant something to you.

I thought you were better than that, I thought you cared.

 

As much as I wish we could take all this back and start over again, I can't.....I think I would end up resenting you and always waiting for the moment when you decide to break up with me again.

I Love you, but I have to love me more. Then I would have touched his face for the last time watch him leave, and cry for the rest of the day.

 

It made me sad, but it was also somewhat liberating, I felt like I was regaining my power.

 

I am hoping this will move me forward.

[ExitWounds]

5 days NC, and it seems 5 years.

[BlackBirdy]

5 days NC, and it seems 5 years.

 

Hang in there. *hug*

[Ariel85]

Day 14.

 

I don't know why people say it gets easier. Each day is progressively harder. MUCH harder. It's like the previous days aches and pains are added to a fresh new day.

 

I am so tired of waking up at 4AM with you on my mind. Then unable to sleep for hours.

 

And it occurred to me this morning, that for the last two weeks, I've been living with this hope that you'd pull your head out of your butt and contact me. And today, I felt for the first time that this very well COULD NOT HAPPEN.

 

You know I am deeply spiritual, and I believe if we're meant to be together, then we will be, and if not, this is why you're being removed from my life. However, why does it need to hurt so much? Why can't I get over you? We didn't date that long, and yet, I'm having a harder time letting go and moving on than I have with longer relationships.

 

I am SO close to breaking NC. I feel that after 2 weeks, if I contact you, it will give me a pulse on where you are at with this.

 

Then I think, no way, girl, don't do it. You texted him weeks ago, asking to meet in person to settle things, and he never responded. So, don't lower yourself and continue to maintain your dignity.

 

Screw him. I'm angry he hasn't come for me. YET.

[Ariel85]

I did it. Yep, did it today. I hit the wall of no longer sitting around hoping and praying you'll come to your senses.

 

I am sick and tired of dreaming about you, imagining a future, planning how I will react when you contact me. Most of all, I'm tired of WAITING. 5 weeks since you "unintentionally" dumped me, and 2 weeks of NC.

 

So, I'm done. I'm letting go, much as you probably have. I'm no longer holding out hope we will be back together, and now I am working on telling myself all the reasons you are BAD for me, rather than remembering all the reasons you were GOOD.

 

You blew it, and you missed your window of opportunity, pal.

 

Enjoy average. Pfft.

[Starrgrl]

Day 89

 

I'm a freakin legend. Ahaha.

 

Three months NC tmrw babyyyy.

[BlackBirdy]

Day 2.

 

I miss you still.

[MissyMolly]

Day 11. again.

My emotions are all over the place. One minute I am dang happy he hasn't called me in 11 days, and the next, I am livid. Why did he reach out 11 days ago (after over TWO months of NO CONTACT??) and now, nothing. Crickets. I am so sick of looking at my phone to see if he called. So damn sick of it.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 22.

 

Doing fine. I really don't know what to think about any of this... breakups... NC... reconciliation... moving on. I need a day off from thinking.

[miss bear]

day 21:

 

Was an up and down sort of day. I kept wondering how he was and if he was seeing anyone. Got upset on my lunch break. I just want one day where I don't wake up thinking about him or dreaming about him.

 

I had dinner with A and J tonight. Somehow the topic went to D.

J started saying he wasn't a big fan of D anymore. We started talking about it and there are a lot of things J did not know about our break up. I haven't told J cuz he is mutual and did not want to put him in the middle. He brought the conversation up and began to tell me how he started to see D's true colors and he thought D was someone of weak character. Things he has done to me and his excuses about how screwed up he is aren't cutting it for J.

And of course D's dating and maybe having something going on with E.

He told J he wasn't going to date to he could get himself together and figure out his issues and then less than a month after the bu he's got E around him all the time.

 

I feel somewhat justified in knowing that people are seeing him in the light I am beginning to see him in.

 

Went on a date last night with this really nice guy, we have a lot of the same interests and I had fun. Had a moment of sadness when I got home, btu focused on the date instead.

And then I had the dreams.

[deecbee]

Day 1. Again.

 

Crapdammit.

 

I'm going for 30 days. No response to texts, emails, nothing. He has no qualms about ignoring me and being an ahole, so why should I care how he feels if I ignore him?

 

Does anyone else have the problem where they get to a certain amount of days with NC, and then the ex decided to initiate contact? My ex will be in ignore/"idgaf about you" mode for weeks and once it finally drives me to the point of going NC, he'll become attentive again and contact me. I know I should ignore any attempts at contact, but it gets difficult at that point.

[Bobbadoo]

Day 1 and 2 again.. lol

 

Well I'm back to NC. I feel really good about this. Talked to the ex on the weekend and found out her head is a mess and is confused about her feelings. Going to go NC for at least 1 month this time. Should be more fun now.

[Ariel85]

Day 15.

 

I am emailing with a new guy on match. And not in a forced way. He's attractive, and funny, and smart. I'm sure we'll have a date arranged in the next few days.

 

So, I'm moving on from you, baby!!!! Yes, I still think of you, but it's not with longing or much desire. It's with more disgust and disappointment. I'm now focusing on everything that is super effed up about you, and why you will make any women miserable, unless she has ZERO desire to emotionally connect with a man and have a shred of real intimacy.

[perio]

Day 33

 

I missed her again today. Began to woder about the reason for the breakup but stopped myself. I am feeling better than expected.

[howinvoluntary]

Day... 20 something since last contact. Nearing three months since the break.

 

I don't really want to pay close attention anymore. Had a really rough moment today. Things are slow right now. Working on grad school applications and finding new work. It's hard to be self motivated still, but I'm starting to feel the pressure of due dates coming up. I really can't picture what life is like for her over in India... I like it that way.

[Starrgrl]

THREE MONTHS NC

 

*throws confetti*

 

Haha. Wow I feel like a brand new person. Guys, you must all be STRONG and get through the first 45 or so days of NC. Afterwards it does get easier. Even though I went through up and down periods (just look at my posts lol) I feel great now! NC works. And you know what? The best thing is I left him in the dust. I gave silence as response to everything he did. Silence is deafening and it DOES speaks volumes. I never did yell or scream at him for things he did (I was the bigger person), why bother? But by being silent and doing NC, it says so much! Actions people! Haha. NC speaks louder than words.

 

[Starrgrl]

THREE MONTHS NC

 

*throws confetti*

 

 

Haha. Wow I feel like a brand new person. Guys, you must all be STRONG and get through the first 45 or so days of NC. Afterwards it does get easier. Even though I went through up and down periods (just look at my posts lol) I feel great now! NC works. And you know what? The best thing is I left him in the dust. I gave silence as response to everything he did. Silence is deafening and it DOES speaks volumes. I never did yell or scream at him for things he did (I was the bigger person), why bother? But by being silent and doing NC, it says so much! Actions people! Haha. NC speaks louder than words.

 

 

Am I completely healed and over him? Hell no.

But am I getting close to be? Yeahhh.

Healing takes time, but those horrible painful feelings are 95% gone.

[miss bear]

Day 22:

 

I hate him so much.

Liar,liar,liar.

 

The last time I spoke to him he said there was no one else. 3 days later my best friend saw him on a date with her. It's like she was waiting in the wings to snag him up.

 

He had every chance to tell me about her. My gut had been telling me there was something about her I couldn't trust. How she would not meet me, and when she did, she did not even talk to me.

I will not shed another tear over him.

I hope he crashes real hard.

 

I have a date tomorrow and it will be great.

[GotMyLifeBack]

Day 23

 

Doing just fine. At this point, it's her loss much more than mine.

[tabhu]

NC Day 5 Now

 

Sent out NC message 5 days ago and he called on Day 2 afternoon. Didn't answer. Came back home and he said hi online immediately and ignored. No contact since then.

 

Moods up and down for a few days and today I'm definitely feeling much much better that I could even eat...then I suddenly started to fear that what if he's feeling better too and just finds he doesnt miss me at all...and I'm in panic mood now.

[tabhu]

Did he ever contacted you? How could you survive so long...